Monday, December 2, 2013

Mumble Jumble: No Motivation

I have had no motivation whatsoever. To do much of anything.

I can blame it on my recent gastrointestinal problems or any one of my medical malady. I can blame it on the cold. I can blame it on the holiday season stress. 

I don't know. I can't pinpoint the problem. I wish I could.

First, I don't have the motivation to read any of my favorite blogs I enjoy much less write my own. I have several in draft, completed. I just need to click publish but I don't have motivation to do that. I keep going over it and editing. I don't think it is good enough yet. I sometimes think I am not good enough to write. However, I remind myself when I started this blog, it was sorta like a diary, but publicly sharing my life to show others even with disabilities we go through the same joys and obstacles than those without. 

I have fellow bloggers and others say I have a gift and write well. It means a lot to me and thank them. Why don't I believe it?

I also have lost interest in Facebook, not that I ever had much interest in it in the first place. The only reason I maintain it is to keep in touch with my family and friends. If you think about it, its a shame. You have to go to a website to see what the most important people in your life are doing. There is something wrong with that.

I dread the holidays. I love the reason for the season, Jesus. I also enjoy the family time. But the rest such as shopping, fighting traffic and stressing I can do without. I find Christmas has become so commercialized it is ridiculous. The whole purpose of the Christmas Season is forgotten by I bet 50% or more of the population.

There are some things bothering the hell out of me in regards personal matters. Although I have voiced my thoughts before about certain things, the response has been rather condescending and 'it is what it is." But why is that I always have to conform to the changes. Or if I say okay, well then I'll do my own thing I am looked at as the bad person.

MyHubby says I should say how I just need to make my decisions on what makes me happy and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They sure as hell don't worry or care about what I think.

He is right. But it is hard. It's frustrating and maddening.

I have been praying asking God to give me direction and strength. Either I am not listening or he has his plan that he doesn't want me know about just yet.

Sorry about the rambling. I just wanted to let all of you great people who read my blog that I am around and do care about all of you but I'm just in a rare mood at this point. I am sure it shall pass.

Have a wonderful Holiday Season! Be careful and enjoy!





8 comments:

  1. I love reading ur blogs. U are a very good writer. I am sorry u are going thru this. I wil agree wit u in prayer... yes so many forget the true meaning of christmas. They get caught up in the hussle an bussel.... an forget! Well my dear sweet friend hold ur head up high, you have accomplished sooooo much on ur journey. I kno an believe u will get the motivation needed!! God Bless you! Love Joanna

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  2. Thanks Joanna for your encouraging words and support. It means a lot! God Bless you too! Love ya

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  3. You know, everyone gets into this funk. It's why I quit blogging for almost a year. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. But if you recall, I wrote one post that said I couldn't worry about whether what I wrote would upset anyone, etc. etc. I write what I want to, I cannot worry about pleasing others and I'm living MY life. It really made me feel a lot better and I'm soooooo glad I came back to blogging. Christmas is a tough time for many. I get down because I'm not around my family and because of finances but there certainly is less stress about without the shopping and frenzy. I buy for my girls and son and that's it. Bruce and I don't even exchange gifts. I hope you find some solace with my rambling on..lol. You know you can always contact me if you need to chat one on one! Hugs my friend.

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    1. You are so sweet Barb. Thanks for your support and encouraging words. I think I expect too much of myself when blogging is concerned. I am so glad you are back! Hubby and I tend to our own families. Some exchanges for his family and some don't. He also has two nieces he gives to. For my family we had started only giving to people 25 years and under so it was suppose to stop at my daughter who was the last grandchild. However, my niece and nephew have four children and I have been struggling because I'm only these great aunts but it seems they are now included. in the 25 years or younger and I am tired of buying gifts that I know will probably be just set aside.. I never had an aunt give me gifts. I told my child I was cutting her off after she finishes college lol. Oh and we do each buy one gift for a game we play so everyone gets a little something. Through the years Hubby and I have not exchanged gifts, we usually buy one thing for both of us like furniture or a game console etc. Anyway I appreciate your offer and may take you up on that! I am much better today. Hugs and God Bless!

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  4. Write what is in your heart.... or just write one or two lines like Seth Godin's blog. I enjoy reading your posts and am sorry that your are in a funk. I think December is tough for everyone you are just bold enough to call it out.
    Peace,.
    Pam

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    1. Thanks for your support, and loyalty Pam. It means a lot! I'll have to look up Seth's blog. Thankfully, my funk comes and goes. Peace!

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  5. Honestly, dear Lisa, I could have written this. I'm not kidding. I have over 100 drafts in blogger, Facebook has been sort of a downer for me lately (for exactly the reason you named, I'm thinking) I'm am huge scrooge about Christmas, and I'm mad that my feet hurt. But I'm trying/moving forward with blogging because I don't know what else to do with myself! I hope you know i am here for you and I get it. You inspire me. Love you!

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    1. OMG Syndey, there is actually someone with as many drafts in their folder as me. That makes me feel a little better! Sorry you have the same problem though. I hope your feet are better soon! You have no idea how much your words mean to me. I will catch up with your blog soon! Thanks for your friendship and love. Love you!

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Go ahead say whatever is on your mind after reading my post. I'm not easily offended and even if you want to disagree. I 'm opened to any comments. If nothing else, say Hi. I appreciate all of you who read my blog!