Mumble Jumble: No Motivation

I have had no motivation whatsoever. To do much of anything.

I can blame it on my recent gastrointestinal problems or any one of my medical malady. I can blame it on the cold. I can blame it on the holiday season stress. 

I don't know. I can't pinpoint the problem. I wish I could.

First, I don't have the motivation to read any of my favorite blogs I enjoy much less write my own. I have several in draft, completed. I just need to click publish but I don't have motivation to do that. I keep going over it and editing. I don't think it is good enough yet. I sometimes think I am not good enough to write. However, I remind myself when I started this blog, it was sorta like a diary, but publicly sharing my life to show others even with disabilities we go through the same joys and obstacles than those without. 

I have fellow bloggers and others say I have a gift and write well. It means a lot to me and thank them. Why don't I believe it?

I also have lost interest in Facebook, not that I ever had much interest in it in the first place. The only reason I maintain it is to keep in touch with my family and friends. If you think about it, its a shame. You have to go to a website to see what the most important people in your life are doing. There is something wrong with that.

I dread the holidays. I love the reason for the season, Jesus. I also enjoy the family time. But the rest such as shopping, fighting traffic and stressing I can do without. I find Christmas has become so commercialized it is ridiculous. The whole purpose of the Christmas Season is forgotten by I bet 50% or more of the population.

There are some things bothering the hell out of me in regards personal matters. Although I have voiced my thoughts before about certain things, the response has been rather condescending and 'it is what it is." But why is that I always have to conform to the changes. Or if I say okay, well then I'll do my own thing I am looked at as the bad person.

MyHubby says I should say how I just need to make my decisions on what makes me happy and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They sure as hell don't worry or care about what I think.

He is right. But it is hard. It's frustrating and maddening.

I have been praying asking God to give me direction and strength. Either I am not listening or he has his plan that he doesn't want me know about just yet.

Sorry about the rambling. I just wanted to let all of you great people who read my blog that I am around and do care about all of you but I'm just in a rare mood at this point. I am sure it shall pass.

Have a wonderful Holiday Season! Be careful and enjoy!

Rebirth of my Blog

Happy Belated Easter! As I've previously written, I intend to write and start but never get to finish. Yesterday,  as I was reading an article about Easter. It reminded me that it was a time to rejoice and reflect on the resurrection of Jesus for Christians.

Then I thought I need to reflect and restart my blog. Just go with it. Start writing regularly again about anything. I reflected a few hours and have decided I work on it to much. I over analyze and over think. I try to make those perfect sentences to make my fellow readers to understand exactly where I am coming from. So I overwhelm myself and then don't write anything at all.

So here I am. I have one last installment of my wedding trip that took place 4 months ago. I have several others about various subjects started. I also need to return to 30 truths about me. So It is not that I have no material to write on.

Anyway....

I have been periodically reading others blogs. I see Blogger changed the format and  I'm not quite understanding why they are trying to connect to Goggle 1+. So if you have a simple explanation how to do it and why. I sure would appreciate it.

I hate that every thing wants to connect to Facebook, Twitter, etc. This 'share' things get on my nerves. Oh and then Facebook changed to Timeline. I hate it. It's just too ambiguous and our privacy is in jeopardy.

Does anyone else ever get into these phases that you get obsessed reading one particular blog?  I found this blog, Single Dad Laughing. He is a single father of an adorable son he adopted. He writes about everything he can think of and does it well. I can relate to him as a single parent. He writes about controversial subjects. He is a man of talent, integrity  and compassion. You can see that love he has for his son.  If you have a chance, I would highly recommend.

I shamefully have lost tract of my regular bloggers I used to read but my life just went topsy turvy just right when I thought things were settling down. I hope to at least restart to read them. I sometimes don't respond because well there are like 100's of comments already and I figure mine would just be a repeat of what everyone else said.

So here I am again. Hopefully I'll get the ambition to write more.

Two months ago I broke down and bought me a Mac-Air. It is my first Mac. MyLove who I will be referring to as MyHubbyQ from now on told me I deserved it. I am still learning the ins and outs of it but for the most part I like. If any of you have a Mac and can recommend some cool apps I would appreciate it.

Until next time...Peace!