Second Year Anniversary

After yesterday's dreary post I have a more uplifting one today.

Today is MyLove and I's second wedding anniversary.  

We laugh when I was in 7th grade he was joining the military.

He came into my life when I least expected it. He didn't turn it upside down. He blended into my BabyGirl and I's lives.

When we became serious, he had a heart to heart discussion with my daughter. He told her he was not going to try to replace her dad but he would be there for her always.  He knew she was the most important person in my life and he took it upon himself to have that discussion. He made her promises that he has always kept. He never backed out of them no matter how much MyBabyGirl pushed him away or just didn't respond. Thankfully, things have progressed to where they are okay with each other now. But that gesture will always be in my heart.

We've had some obstacles along the way but we have handled it…together.

Our relationship has shown me what a a real relationship should be. It is odd. I was married for 20+ years to another man and have never felt so accepted and loved like with this man.

We are so alike in many ways and but yet different in some.

We were both married before. I had a child while he didn't have any.

I was raised in one place for the first 18 years of my life. His family traveled so he never stayed in one place for long.

Throughout my life I have never had a healthy life. He had a healthy life except for that year with kidney cancer that he has recovered from.

Both of us love to play games. I rather word and shooter games. He likes strategic and sports games. They are all either PC, Wii or PS3.

I was an old fashioned cook using a microwave for heating only. He was a microwave cooker. He bakes and I hate it.  I have learned to use the microwave for cooking certain things.

We both can spend a whole afternoon in the same room but not speak any words to the other.

He likes military and history movies. I like romance and crime/drama.

We both like Classic rock but I'm more into the 70-80s while he likes the 60s-70s.

My temper is quick but it takes a lot to light his fuse. When he does, watch out.

He has more patience than me.

We both don't care for shopping.

That's just to name a few.

We would have never met if it was not for online dating. To think I almost didn't call him.

We are celebrating by going dine out and furniture shop. 

So everyone have a great day!

Just When My Life Was Moving Along Happily

I keep meaning to write, actually I have drafts and just can't seem to finish them. I wanted to write all about my Vegas trip and just not in the mood.

It seems every time I am happy and things seem to be going right, something goes wrong. I thought 2012 was going to be so much better. Afterall, I got married to MyLove, we have new cars not to worry about, my health issues can be stabilized if I am a good patient  etc.

However, I was hit with something so unexpected. BabyGirl told me that she is planning on moving 100 miles away to her girlfriend's parents home in May. She has been transferring her college and work to there. She was going to tell me before I left for my trip but she didn't want to ruin my trip.

I have cried so much. I am not quite understanding why.. At first, it was that I felt like she was leaving me again. As days passed I have been able to think. Still have not pinpointed my emotions.

I know it is rough for her financially and stress. But she has options, move in with me, move in her dad, stay at the dorm etc. But she is moving  in with her girlfriend's FAMILY.  I think if she would have said her and her girlfriend was finding a place and moving in togehter, I think I would have been able to swallow it better. But to move in with her girlfriend's family? Geez. 

If I lived with my parents I I would have not even thought about asking them if my boyfriend could move in. They would have thought I was crazy! And if Babygirl was living here and she would have asked if her girlfriend could have moved in, I would have thought her crazy.

Her reasoning for moving shows how she is still immature in so many ways. I understand they had not been able to see each other and all that love stuff but dammit her focus should be on COLLEGE. She is only 19. Her opportunities are endless here, she just needs to grab it. The college she will be transferring to is not as good for the major she is working towards. She loses her scholarhip. She says she can get others and grants.

We all want the BEST for our kids. I know I raised her right and she is going to do what she wants. As the days go by I keep coming up with reasons why she should not make that mistake. But I've written her a letter and she knows where I stand.

I have been asking myself, what could I have done better. I have this unrational feeling of blaming myself..

Ever since I have left her father, she has not had her feet planted on the ground. She left me and moved to her dad's a few years later and as soon as she got there, she counted the days to get out of there. When she finally moved out, it was into an apartment for a semester with a roommate she didn't know well.. Then she again moved to another apartment with a different room mate. Now she is moving 100 miles away.

It's a pattern, she doesn't like something, she moves.without even thinking of the people around her involved. I don't mean just me.

I know I can't stop her. I know she is making a mistake and has to learn from it. I know it is her choice.

I am beginning to resent her girlfriend. I love her and accepted this relationship. However, I have to wonder who initiated this "BRIGHT" idea. I always considered her girlfriend a little more mature and responsible but I have to admit, that consideration is going down the tubes rapidly. I know it is unfair because in the end it is Babygirl's decision.
  
I started thinking about love and relationships. Here is something I came up with. 

If YOU really love someone, you want the very BEST for him/her You will do anything for them even if it is meant to put your heart on hold. You sacrifice when you know it is best for your loved one. You support them in what is BEST for YOUR loved one, NOT yourself. There are long distance relationships that thrive.  After your loved one has the opportunity to do what is BEST for them, if it is meant to be, it will be. Prove that you really love that person by allowing them to take that opportunity, even if if it hurts. Realize when your loved one accomplishes their goal with your support, it could make the love you have stronger.


Does this make any sense at all? Or am I just babbling?


I've cried and thought about this so much I am tired of thinking about it.

 

Monday was MyLove and I's anniversary. Four years ago, we met. I saw right off, he was DIFFERENT. About 9 months later we moved in together.

I almost didn't answer his email in SinglesNet right away. I had a lot going on at the time. He was on the back burner.  The guys I had been meeting were such idiots and liars.  I was at the point I thought I would never meet a decent guy who wanted the same as I did.

But two weeks after I received the email, I called him. I wasn't sure if he remembered me which for a second he hadn't. He said he had so many that didn't respond to his emails that he hadn't had second thoughts about it.

He worked faster than others asking me if I wanted to meet soon. I was taken aback because usually the men I met online took forever to ask to meet or I was not comfortable enough to meet them at such a short notice. I did have a dating regimen I followed when talking to someone online then meeting them. However, we met a week after our phone call. We closed down the City Park talking. The rest is history, as they say.

I love that he talks as much as me.  I love the times we can just sit for hours, talking about everything and anything.

I love we can be in comfortable silence. We can be in the same room all afternoon and not talk to each other.

He's sweet, kind and loving. He accepts me for who I am. He has tailored his fast walking to walking my pace.

He is a genuine MAN. He is comfortable in his own skin that he doesn't need to present the Macho crap.

He has seen me at my lowest. His arms around me and his shoulder to cry on is all that is needed sometimes.

He has seen me sick and did what he could to make me feel better. He brought me to the ER when I needed and stood by me the whole time. He has taken care of me.

He makes me laugh, laughs with me and sometimes at me, but that's okay. I do stupid stuff LOL!

He makes me feel wanted, love and accepted.

He is dependable but allows me to be independent.

We had chemistry from the day we saw each other.. His voice, balding white hair and shining eyes drew me in the first time I laid my eyes on him.

I have given him chances to move on. I've told him I knew I was a handful and nothing is ever the same with me.  He stays and reassures me that he is here for the long haul.

My Sister who has never said much about the men who have passed through our lives told me, "I LIKE HIM! He is a good MAN! She is right.

May we have the rest of our lives together. I love MYLOVE!