Update on Post Regarding: Embarrassment because of CP in FAMILY AND FRIENDS

After a previous post I continued to read the thread on the Cerebral Palsy group.  It disturbed me to see how many others with CP were seen by family members.

I was feeling hurt for these parents. I felt like the embarrassment was directly pointed towards me. On the other hand, I continued to think how God blessed me with such a loving and compassionate daughter.

I needed to call her. There was a deep longing to talk to her. When I heard her voice I started crying. I don't know why.  I really can't explain it.

As I was blubbering I thanked her. All she heard was me crying. She couldn't understand me. It is hard to understand me when I am crying and upset.  Concerned, she kept asking, "Mom, what's wrong?"  I heard some panic in her voice. She thought something happened.

After I calmed down, and took some deep breaths. ( That's our instruction to each other when we are upset) I thanked her for being such a good daughter and explained to her why I was upset. She said it is okay and she loved and appreciated me the way I am.

I needed confirmation though and asked her to be completely honest and tell me if she was ever embarrassed by my CP. She said absolutely not. She didn't think much about it except for when it was hard for me to do something but never embarrassed.

She also reminded me that when she was in 4-H she did a presentation on Cerebral Palsy so maybe others would understand. She doesn't remember the day she stood up for me. But I certainly do because it was that moment that I knew she would be okay with a Mom having CP.

Anyway, regardless how that thread upset me, in the end it made my daughter and I bond even closer. If that is even possible.

Every day I thank God for my daughter. But I have added a thanks for not just the daughter he gave me but for the loving, compassionate person she is.

Embarrassment because of Cerebral Palsy In Family and Friends?

From time to time I go onto a CP Community Board on Face book. It is for all who have CP to congregate and ask questions and/or share their stories.

As I was scanning through I came upon this question. 'Ever see your child "embarrassed" because of you? '

Surprisingly to me, many had stories about their children being embarrassed.  Some kids requested they not walk with them etc.

It sparked a reminder of one of my online friends/fellow blogger had a set of parents who were not accepting as she grew up.  When I heard her story, it also boggled my mind. It still does when I think about it. She is a strong person getting through it all but I can't even guess how she felt.

One girl shared that she was asked to  walk in her friend's wedding. However, when the parents met her they said she would ruin the wedding. 

SERIOUSLY?!

The girl told her friend it was okay to find someone to replace her. She wanted her friend's day to be special and go smoothly. She knew her friend wasn't embarrassed.  

I admit she took it better than I would have. I probably would have done the same thing for my friend. But on the other hand I think I would have been hurt because she did not stand up for me. 

Reading other people's experiences make me realize how blessed I am. I have a family who have never been embarrassed by me.  They accepted me for who I was. 

I can say without a doubt that my sister was not embarrassed by me. Yea, like every sibling rivalry she probably wished I would go away as I was a pesky little sister. It was my job to make her annoyed, I admit I did it well sometimes!

None of my friends were embarrassed by me. But then again, I would not have friends who didn't accept me the way I am and were embarrassed of me. I was in two of my friend's weddings. I couldn't believe they asked me. I had voiced my fears of falling down the aisle with the long dress to one. Her response was it could happen to anyone and if I did, she would just come pick me up. It meant a lot to me that my friends accepted me and loved me enough to ask me to wobble in their wedding. (It was supposed to make you smile!)

My worst fear was for my child to get teased or embarrassed by me. But early on she showed she was not. She defended me when one of her classmates teased me and let him know it was in his best interest to keep his thoughts to himself. And in the fourth grade, she had a 4-H project. She did a presentation on Cerebral Palsy. 

It's unimaginable to me that people who are important in your life would be embarrassed by your CP. I just can't wrap my head around it.

I am sure I will be thinking about this for a bit, trying to figure it out. 

My jumbled thoughts are:  

It is not like you can do anything about it if you have CP. None of us with it asked for it. Probably all of us would agree that if we had a choice we wouldn't have it. But we're stuck with it and we just have to make the best of it. 

I understand children can be selfish and inconsiderate at times but to treat their parents who gave life to them like that, is incomprehensible.  

I understand some teens go through a phase of independence and embarrassment of their 'normal' parents. And maybe that is also true for children of disabled parents. 

As mentioned by others in the CP community  my worst fear came true for them. Their kid were bullied because he had CP so the kid requests they stay clear of him when they are at the school.  Or their sibling has CP and they are being teased because of it.  

Maybe it is not totally embarrassment but fear, of them not being accepted by others because of their parent or sibling with CP. 

It is such a cruel world. 

I don't know. I guess it never happened to me and I can't understand it. In my life, family was important. We were to love, respect and accept each other, period. 

What do you think? How do you think you would feel if you had any kind of disability and your child was embarrassed? 

Rebirth of my Blog

Happy Belated Easter! As I've previously written, I intend to write and start but never get to finish. Yesterday,  as I was reading an article about Easter. It reminded me that it was a time to rejoice and reflect on the resurrection of Jesus for Christians.

Then I thought I need to reflect and restart my blog. Just go with it. Start writing regularly again about anything. I reflected a few hours and have decided I work on it to much. I over analyze and over think. I try to make those perfect sentences to make my fellow readers to understand exactly where I am coming from. So I overwhelm myself and then don't write anything at all.

So here I am. I have one last installment of my wedding trip that took place 4 months ago. I have several others about various subjects started. I also need to return to 30 truths about me. So It is not that I have no material to write on.

Anyway....

I have been periodically reading others blogs. I see Blogger changed the format and  I'm not quite understanding why they are trying to connect to Goggle 1+. So if you have a simple explanation how to do it and why. I sure would appreciate it.

I hate that every thing wants to connect to Facebook, Twitter, etc. This 'share' things get on my nerves. Oh and then Facebook changed to Timeline. I hate it. It's just too ambiguous and our privacy is in jeopardy.

Does anyone else ever get into these phases that you get obsessed reading one particular blog?  I found this blog, Single Dad Laughing. He is a single father of an adorable son he adopted. He writes about everything he can think of and does it well. I can relate to him as a single parent. He writes about controversial subjects. He is a man of talent, integrity  and compassion. You can see that love he has for his son.  If you have a chance, I would highly recommend.

I shamefully have lost tract of my regular bloggers I used to read but my life just went topsy turvy just right when I thought things were settling down. I hope to at least restart to read them. I sometimes don't respond because well there are like 100's of comments already and I figure mine would just be a repeat of what everyone else said.

So here I am again. Hopefully I'll get the ambition to write more.

Two months ago I broke down and bought me a Mac-Air. It is my first Mac. MyLove who I will be referring to as MyHubbyQ from now on told me I deserved it. I am still learning the ins and outs of it but for the most part I like. If any of you have a Mac and can recommend some cool apps I would appreciate it.

Until next time...Peace!

FACEBOOK

I'm sure all of you are familiar with Facebook. I am also one of the 800 million active members!

It has its advantages and disadvantages. We can keep up with all our family and friends.It is amazing to see your former classmates there where you would otherwise have no idea what happened to them etc.

If you like games, there are a slew of them. MyLove and I were obsessed with Farmville. Frontierville, until our computers acquired a virus from them. They actually slowed our computers as well. One thing we didn't care for was needing friends to move on to the next level.After a while,  I realized it was frustrating me more being fun. So I blocked most games, except for my ITOUCH games which I can't play because its stuck. Another story.

Recently, Facebook made some changes. There will always be people either loving them or hating them. I actually like some of the changes. I can still have people as friends but not have to put up with the status feed of videos, links and pics. If I want to see them I can just go to their web page and see them. There were too many days I had to sift through my statuses to get to what I wanted.
 I can handle one or two videos or links but a whole page? C'mon folks!

Now nearly EVERYTHING is connected to Facebook. On TV, you always hear check out our Facebook page. I am sick of it! I am a freebie junkie but noticed lately I have to go to FACEBOOK and LIKE to get the freebie. It is very annoying because once you LIKE the page you get unwanted updates/statuses.

I understand the reasoning of the companies or persons wanting us to LIKE their page. Its advertising.

It also amazes me that you can connect everything to Facebook. Like you can connect to Facebook from Yahoo etc.  I don't like that much. . I have attempted to connect My Blog to Facebook but its not working on one end. I'm sure its the incompetent technical side of me.

FACEBOOK has had some problems with privacy etc in the past. I often wonder, what if something goes wrong? What happens if part of their system shuts down or better yet their whole system?

I've had hackers get into both My FACEBOOK and YAHOO email but luckily there is nothing they can do harm me unless they figure out where I live, and come kill me which something like this has happened, I'm sure.

Anyway, I've been wanting to write about this and read your views.

Thanks for dropping by and commenting if you do so!

Update

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Labor Day!

I was on a path of writing regularly than SLAM! I started a few but threw them in draft. My thoughts are all scattered. Let me just tell you recent events.

I got my disability check BUT not last month's. So I am in the system once again. I am still contemplating if I want to get a lawyer to see what I can do or just chalk it up to the government and leave it alone. I don't give up easily but what the lawyer would charge would probably take what my check is worth plus more. 

Last week My BabyGirl and I had a sleepover. We had our weekly outing. Since  MyLove was out of town and she seemed to be alone I asked her if she wanted to come spend the night. So she packed up and we came here. We watched two movies, talked and I put her to bed around 10:30. It was hard to do but I told her to take the phone off. We woke up and I brought her to college.

After her morning classes, I picked her up and brought her to the apartment so she can get her bike and ride back to college for her evening class. I enjoyed my time thoroughly and didn't want to let her go.

A while back I was searching YouTube for a country singer my daughter had mentioned. However, the suggestions on the side grabbed my attention. If any of you have not seen Annoying Orange you gotta see this. OOps I tried putting it below but it kept going where it is now.

There are various videos featuring Annoying Orange. The laugh is wicked. It is cool the way the creators have the mouth move to the script. I cringe every time the knife comes even though I know it is going to happen. I now have to have my "Orange" fix every day.

I also have joined a couple of groups on Facebook. One only accepts people with cerebral palsy. It is astonishing to see so many people with the same difficulties and although our lives are different, we have some similarities. It is nice to be able to know somone ACTUALLY knows how certain situations make you feel.

I also joined a "Remember When you Lived On" ...:.and it states the little island I grew up on.  It is remarkable how many people lived there before we did and after. We remind each other the little things we had forgotten. We remember the people that have touched our lives. We remember our adventures we had: Going to the sandpit, swimming in the bayou, stopping for the alligators to cross and much much more. Everyone remembered chasing the train man and he throwing candy to all of us. We remember our field trips, the little school we went to etc.

Most of all we realize  how special that island was to grow up on. We never thought we would be reminisicing living there. It was a true beautiful place to live.

 I used to wish there was a place like it to raise my daughter. But there will never be a place like it.

CP Group

Yesterday, somehow I happened on a group on Facebook. It was probably my spastic hand doing its own thing at the moment.  (HAHA)

This group is specifically for people with CP.  Members share their life story. They ask questions. Some are just hanging out.

It is amazing to read other's stories. It is cool to be able to say, "OH I so can relate!" or "Yep, that happened to me". We all have our differences but it is nice to join a group that actually understands or has been through what you have been through.. It shows WE ARE NOT ALONE.

There are young people with CP struggling to be accepted for who they are, not by what they have. They have concerns what they can or can't do. There are older people who have been through the same the young ones are going through that can support them and encourage them.

It is amazing how soceity has accepted the 'disabled"; compared to when I was growing up.

It is amazing to learn how the braces and therapy changed and improved.

I have had some ask me how it was when I was in high school, how my CP affected me going to nursing school, how it affected me being a parent and many more. It is great to be able to share your experiences with someone and able to encourage them, "You can do this."

Thank you Leigh Lockrey for putting up such an awesome page!

Someone asked me privately how did my child feel growing up with a mom with a disability. My daughter and I have discussed it candidly. It was my worse fear that she would be ridiculed because of me. She stood up for me. She doesn't remember the one time that made me realize she could hold her own. .

Anyway I asked her to write a paper stating her real feelings about being raised with a mom with a disability to share with others. Stay tuned for her letter next post.