Foot Pain Anxiety

During my move in January, I was on my feet a lot more than usual. Packing, loading cars, unloading cars, transporting our belongings to storage than back out into our new home and unpacking.

My feet hurt. They usually hurt when I am on them for a long period of time. After a rest I am fine. But this was different.

A few weeks later my weight bearing was off. Yes, my weight bearing is already off because of my cerebral palsy but this was different.  But I was still in denial.

I get up and instead of just taking a step like 'normal' I have to make a conscious effort to step and move. After a few steps I am fine. Also behind my left ankle started hurting. Just a dull pain, yet aggravating. Once I got off it, I was fine.

I continued to think it was just taking time to heal. The way I walk I tend to favor my right side with the weight bearing.

It is irritating and frustrating. Several months later, I visited my doctor for something else. I mentioned my problem. He said it might have been a strain and because of my CP (Cerebral Palsy) my ankles may be weakening. He told me to do some stretch exercises. He also gave me a fluid pill as my feet were swelling.

I did the exercises diligently. However, it made the problem worse.

My weight bearing still sucks royally. The pain is in back of my left ankle mostly. It is a burning sharp pain. The pain continues when I am off it so there is something not right.

I have piddled paddle around with this issue. I just didn't want to deal with it so I ignored it as much as I could.

I am finally coming to my senses and not to mention I am afraid I do more damage, if there is any damage. I need this taken care of.

I was not sure if I should go to a podiatrist or orthopedic.

I decided to start with a Podiatrist. When I think orthopedic I think surgery. I know probably unfounded but it is my thought process.

And I can always blame my crazy thought processes on my Cerebral Palsy. (HA! Hey it's my excuse!)

I called this well-known Podiatrist.  I'll call him Dr. B. He is on my Medicare insurance.

The lady asked me the regular questions, NAZ, age and insurance. She notified me that they do not take Medicare patients under 65. I thought that was weird. If I had another insurance they would.

I thought this was so wrong. I had friends on Facebook say it has to be illegal. I thought it was too. Discrimination at best.  But after calling Medicare, I learned unless they are accepting other new patients with only Medicare they can deny service.  There is no way to prove it either way.

I called another Podiatrist, the second best rated Podiatrist in this area by ratemds.com.  They gave me an appointment for tomorrow. That was pretty darn good considering they would have taken me the next day of my call but I had other things to do.

So I've been thinking about my appointment.

I'm nervous.

I am scared.

I keep thinking there is rarely anything simple with me medically.

My thoughts are:

How am I going to walk with a brace?  I know they are better made and won't be as bad as the big steel  stiff ones I had as a child.

What if he tells me to stay off it? Mind you I spend most of my time at home so it is not like I go all over the place. However, the fear of losing my independence sets in.

What if he wants me to go through physical therapy? Flashbacks of learning to walk after surgery with  rails dad made me and my mom moving my legs as I lay on that chest freezer as a child run through my mind.

I know I am thinking too much and hopefully imagining the worse. But arghh!

Having to deal with my few limitations of CP plus getting old just totally sucks!

But as my mom used to say,  it is what it is and I have to just deal with it.

What's the Secret of followers?

I hope this finds you well. I had a bad bug during Christmas holidays, went to doc and took my meds. However, this cough lingers. I am tired of being tired from coughing. I get this dry cough that has a tickle in my throat. I have respiratory disease so this cough can stay with me for months after. I've tried hottie totties with and without alcohol, cough drops, cough syrup, decongestants and the only thing that works is Benzonate and of course it is not covered by Medicare. No cough syrup is covered by Medicare. I've tried OTC cough syrup and it doesn't work. GO figure. So I would have to pay 30+ for the Benzonate. I wait until at night to take it. Gotta make decision soon as I have one more left.

I just don't get this site. How do you get followers? I am following a few and have two followers (Thank you so much). I don't want to be in a popular contest. I just want some feedback and maybe make a friend here or there. I've read some with hundreds of followers and there blogs are not any better than mine. So what's the secret?

I do comment on  \other blogs and follow them.

This morning I had one of those "out there" dreams.  I was with 2 girls and a couple of men. We were at a hotel and I decided I was tired. We were all staying in one room that looked like a dorm room with 2 beds.

I got comfty in some pajamas with my snuggie and floppy slippers. I thought, "I'll get in the big bed, lay smack in the middle and no one will follow me." 

I climb into bed, settling in fetal position with my head sunk on a huge soft puffy pillow. I feel someone get on the side of me and I look and see one of the guys. He looked so familair. He was tall, dark and handsome with a 2 day old goatee. He snuggles against me and I ask, "What are you doing?"  He says, "Going to sleep." I give him a glare and lay my head back on my pillow when another guy who is faceless lays on the other side of me. I jump up in sitting position and say, "NOOOO, there is no sex..do ya'll get that?" They stare at me like they think I am crazy and said simutaneously, "No, we're going to sleep." I said, You touch me and..." I gave them a mean glare to finish off my sentence.

I go back into my fetal position and fall asleep with them against me. I thought, "Ooh this is cozy" and fell asleep.

Scene changes me waking up with tangled hair sticking up and drool dried on  the corners of my mouth. I stand on the bed then walk over the faceless one in the bed and go to the bathroom. Someone had moved all my toiletries and I started yelling at them. The dark handsome one wakes up and told me I was crazy. We argued but can't remember the rest. I woke up.

ANALYSIS:  My Love says I've been thinking of a threesome. NOT! We never discussed it nor am I interested.

Maybe since I thought it was cozy I was trying to get warm as it is freaking cold here lately and it doesn't look like its going to get any better soon.

I hope everyone stays warm!