After two weeks and 5 phone calls, I have received my records from the Crippled Children's Clinic. Eighteen years of my life were compacted into 130 pages of progress notes, surgical reports, x-ray reports, payments and correspondence.  Most were progress notes,  telephone calls and correspondence from social worker to insurance back to clinic. What a circus that was!

The first thing that I realized was I almost weigh the same I did when I was 13. Only a few pounds more. I also had a State Case Number. I guess I should have known that the help was through the state since it was a 'free' clinic.But what can I say I've had a brain fart all my life. "SIGH"

Looking through my records I am  able to get a better timeline of my surgeries and what happened between. I am learning the names of the apparatuses.

I have discovered unknown terms used to describe the surgeries, braces, casts etc  You can bet I am looking them up to understand more!

The descriptions of my my family as individuals and as a family were mostly positive, except for the pyschologist which I was expecting.

I learned that how the costs of medical care has skyrocketed since the disco era.  My dad's income at the time was wide opening. I wish I had the rent and bills they had! I would be living like a queen.

I was reminded of the names of people who came and went through my medical care. It makes me wonder what happened to some of them. Some names I have no memory of them. I can't picture a face to the name and. It frustrates me.

My parents told me stories throughout the years but I think I have a better understanding of what they had to go through to fight for what I needed. My appreciation of their courage and the parents are trifold than before.

There were also pictures they had taken to mark my progress. I was half naked. I remember at one point, my mom telling doc that I was becoming a young lady and the nakedness was going to have to be less. So I wore my panties and balloon undies as they had to see my legs. What I will treasure the most is the pic of my awesome doctor I had. My memory distorted his face but now when I think of him, I can have a clear picture.

I've read all of the 130 pages at least 40 times since I have received them. And each time it brings back a new memory.

I have a plan to take the information, dissect it on some kind of chart like a writer makes an outline.

I know some people have no interest or wouldn't be as excited as I was but I guess I wasn't a nurse for nothing. I always had questions and were interested in medical information. It's kinda like a child in a toy store for me with my records.