When You Don't Feel Like Going To Work, Think About This

It's Monday and I know a lot of you are grudgingly going to work or at work already. 

I want to give you something to think about.

There are those of us who can't work. Like Myself. Others like myself would do anything to be able to get up in the morning, get dressed and go to a job. Hopefully we would be doing what we want to do and love to do. We would feel productive and make more money than what we are getting from disability. 

Personally, I hate not being able to go to a job. I've been disabled since 1995. I've had doctors tell me they absolutely would not give the okay for me to work. It is not beneficial for my health. Working my chosen profession is actually a hazardous to my health. 

I realize they are right. 

But,,,,

I CRAVE being able to go to work at times. I want to go and help others as a nurse like I did for about 8 years. I would love to go see the patients faces and help them. I would love to have friendships with my co-workers. 

It gets me down sometimes. On those days I feel useless and worthless.  I get depressed.

It sucks!

Sometimes on Sunday evenings I can tell Hubby is sadly thinking about  having to go to work Monday. I silently wish I could be thinking of having to go to work.

But I try not to dwell on it and have faith that God has his plan. 

I ask you as you walk out that door thinking "I don't feel like going to work" think of the people who can't but would love to. Like ME.

I've been thinking…

I've been thinking…

Yea, I know that's dangerous for me to do. "SMILE"

I've been thinking and wondering if those who I love and admire REALLY does know how much they mean to me.

Yes. We say I love you. We thank them. We give tear-jerker cards for birthdays and other occasions.

But do they really know the extent of how much you love them, adore them and grateful for them?

I've also been thinking how do you show this overwhelming love, adoration and gratefulness for that person?

As I said…I've been thinking..

My Latest Mantra

I've been sitting here thankful I didn't have to go anywhere. Early this morning I transferred from my bed to Hubby's chair in Media room. I grabbed remote and watched couple of hours of TV. Got up, took meds, grabbed Ensure, heated brunch in microwave and plopped again in Hubby's chair.

I ate, shuffled dishes back to sink in kitchen and washed, saved dishes Hubby washed, and shuffled to my chair and between potty breaks this is where I stayed.

Oh I did pick up the phone and order something for our Christmas meal that I'll hopefully pick up Monday after my follow-up appointment.

I stared outside, it's a gloomy day to fit my mood. The wind was so strong I thought our roof was going to fly away.  I was thankful I did not have to get out in this yucky weather.

Then I sat and thought. I thought of stuff I should not be thinking about. I thought of what the new year may bring. At least we'll start our New Year in a home. We were homeless living with my MIL until our home was ready.

I thought about where I am going? Where will I be? I've told Hubby several times lately, it's like I am in a rut.

I guess God solved that giving me the medical crisis. It's not the kind of resolution I was thinking of but I guess its his answer. 

Maybe its an example of watching out what you wish for.

Hubby told me that he regrets not bringing me to the doctor that Monday, it could have avoided the hospitalization. He may be right. But looking at the bright side, he says, I did get to see a few people I had not seen in ages, otherwise. He is right. 

Oh yea, I think I need to post that blog post. Gawd I can't remember anything if my life depended on it.

At the end of a year, a lot of people who had a great year wants to continue into the following year. The people who had a dreadful or semi good year wishes for a better year.

Well I'm all wished out. Even if I wish simple things, it never comes true. The hits just keep coming.

I know there are many people who are worse off than me. There are others who have no food, shelter or family.  I know I am having my very own pity party.

My latest mantra is, "I just wish it would stop!"

What do I mean by that? Your guess is as good as mine. 

No, I'm not on a suicidal mission so no worries. It shall pass.

I just want a life for one year throwing NO curves. 

If you made it this far, thanks for stopping by and reading it through!