I am struggling to figure out what God is trying to tell me. I get excited about things then when I look into it, there is always an obstacle or something happens that makes me think is this really for me?
Maybe I don't have as much confidence in myself than I thought.
Maybe that one thing is really NOT for me.
I feel like I know what I want to do but I can't seem to get there.
So glad my mom is not reading this because she would bop me in the head (Not really but you know what I mean) and say something like "can't' is not in your vocabulary.
Here's a brief summary.
I signed up to be a volunteer, went through the background check, referrals and waited for this meeting. I was expecting to walk out of there knowing exactly what I will be doing and start from there.
However, that was not the case. I sat for two hours listening to the speaker. He did give us guidance and pointers but it wasn't what I expected.
Then he said we had to pray on it for 7-10 days or however long it takes while reading the booklet that gives details and then if we decide if this is what I want to do, to fill out the application and return it to him. He did say if we had any questions to call for an appointment.
I thought wait a minute, I go through the process of becoming a volunteer and now I need to fill out yet another application for this department. I may or may not be selected. I can take rejection so that isn't the problem. It's just becoming more complicated than I thought.
I totally understand they need to make sure we are capable of doing it. As he went through some of the few details he touched on, I'm like OMG I want to do it but can I do it?
He gave each of us an application for in case we want to do it. I don't like one of the question because although it is a yes or no question. I need to elaborate on that answer. Maybe it is not a necessity but I feel like I want to defend that answer. But is my defense justifiable?
When I started this process I looked at my options and this option from the start was iffy. However, I've had several people tell me with my experiences of life I would be ideal for this.
I am trying to figure if God is telling me to do this and I am just not listening and it is why I am struggling.
Or Maybe my first instinct was right and I need to sway from that area and move on to another area?