Friday, May 8, 2015

Stranger: Stand Up Straight! WTHeck!

I've written many posts about encounters with rude, obnoxious,  and stupid people I share these for several reasons.

For you to think before you speak to others.
Don't judge others and if you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say it.
Regardless if you are "normal" or have a mental or physical defect, we all have feelings.
I want others to get a glimpse of what the disabled have to put up with nearly on a daily basis with strangers.

Some of the encounters seem so bizarre I sometimes think this can't be true although I know it really did. These are true life experiences.

I often wonder. I see myself as having a mild physical disability and have these frustrating encounters with people who strangers. I can't imagine what people with a severe disability and those in a wheelchair or other devices, etc go through.  What kind of BS they need to deal with?

I was telling MyMom about my recent encounter day before yesterday and she said people no longer have compassion or moral ethics. I just need to remember I'll probably won't ever see them ago and don't I dare let them get me down.

I hate when I am in the situation and I'm so shocked I can't think of a good comeback. I get flustered. And I hate the attention on ME in a public crowd setting like I was the other day.

It was a very short encounter but angered me nonetheless and I said something I'm not proud of it. I know it is no excuse but sometimes I just get ENOUGH! I'm tired of strangers being downright rude and insensitive. I don't want sympathy! I just want to be treated like a normal human being. Yes, my legs and speech are not deemed normal but I think I have a normal intelligence and I definitely have all the same feelings.

My mom always said I sadly have to try to educate people. Why is it my responsibility to teach total strangers about why I do this or that? I really would not mind if they came to me discreetly and inquire in a respectful manner. But when they are loud and obnoxious I feel there is NO way in getting through to them.

Enough of my rant. Here's the story.

I was standing in a check-out line at the dreaded Wallyworld.  A 20-something white male prances towards me.  As he passed me he paused. Then he leaned over totally intruding on my personal space. I took a step back thinking what the heck? I really wished I had a stun gun or mace because I would have certainly used it.

Then in a booming voice he commanded, "STAND UP STRAIGHT!"

For a few seconds I looked at him. I thought, 'Oh Noooo, he did not! Did he? I was trying to figure out if he was joking or being stupid. Once again, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt so I responded, "Excuse me?"

He turns around and sarcastically said, "You heard me! F--King STAND UP straight!"

I wondered who this person was or rather who he THOUGHT he was.

I instantly became angry! And asked, "What is it to you? You don't know me!"

Although only a few people were watching, I felt like the whole store was watching uncomfortably.

He wickedly laughed, "Just stand up straight!"

Something told me even if I did try to educate him it would be for nothing. At that point, I just wanted him to leave me alone

I murmured, "Go away!".

He laughed and repeated, "F--king stand up straight!"

It is not the proudest moment but I had enough. I wanted to cry from frustration and embarrassment but I dare NOT show him. I yelled, "Get the f--k away from me!"

Calmer and lower he said, "Just stand up straight"

I answered making angry eye contact, "F--K YOU!" People started talking to each other looking at him.

He finally backed down laughing and walked away, ATTEMPTING To imitate the way I walked. Why do people feel the need to mimic something they are making fun of? It makes NO sense. When I was a child I used to wish lightning would strike and make them walk like that for the rest of their life. But as I got older I sorta feel sorry for them. I don't know why.

Anyway, I just turned away and it was finally my turn to check out.

The cashier and a few others apologized for the moron. I told them no apology necessary because it was not them. A man said, "You're a strong young lady taking his BS." I thanked him.

Some said I should be proud because I held my own.

But I did not hold my own, I stooped to his level with the cursing. I do not know what his problem was. I don't know what made him zero in on me but I rather him focus on me then the  elderly lady in a wheelchair behind me or anyone else.

It was cruel.

On my way home I kept playing the whole scenario over and over. I asked God to forgive me for stooping to the young boy's level. I asked God to help me understand people like that and for forgiveness for wanting to punch the boy's lights out.

Later that evening after relating my experience to MyHubby, he said the boy was lucky it was me. As much as we've been hearing on the news how people get ticked off, leaves and returns with a gun and kills or just brings out a gun, the guy is lucky I was not one of those people. He is right.

I've encountered morons for this young boy is a totally new breed.

If you would be me in that encounter how do you THINK you would react?

I hope all of you Mothers (and Dads who step in the role) have a wonderful Mother's Day.

Until Next Time…

8 comments:

  1. Wow... that's a HORRIBLE encounter! I like to think I would have reacted like you... you say you lowered yourself to his level when you cursed, but I say you just tried to talk to him in a way he'd understand - ha! He's clearly an idiot who has no idea that not everyone is the same. In reality... I probably would have glared at him, hoped he'd leave me alone, and then cried when I got to my car, if not before. I couldn't imagine having someone say something like that to me.

    But yes - he's lucky you didn't have a weapon! Or he IS lucky you're not out for revenge, tracking him down somehow to get him later. It DOES amaze me that in today's world, not only are we not more compassionate to strangers (you have no idea what ANYONE's been through!), some people just don't think of the consequences. I live in a city with a lot of crime, so while I don't let myself get told off or steamrolled, I do weigh the consequences because a lot of people DO have weapons and violent tendencies.

    - Allison
    www.allisonwrites.com

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    1. Allison, I like your excuse. It just frustrates me after, that I stooped to their level. I automatically go into defense. He was a little too obnoxious to ignore. You know my mom said the same thing, its easy for strangers to attack others. You be careful! In my mindset, I subconsciously think if he is going to hurt me, (When he invading my space). I rather be hurt/killed defending myself than not standing up. Thank you for your input and support!

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  2. By the time rude people become adults, it's usually too late to change what their parents have taught or not taught them. All you can do is shame them in public. I would probably just ignore them or respond to their rudeness by being nice. And can't you see how mentally and emotionally disabled they are?

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    1. My mom used to tell me everyone has some kind of disability. Some are just more noticeably than others. I think some of them were taught right, but they made the decision to be otherwise. I guess I've had to defend myself for so long its natural for me to go into defensive mode. Thank you for your input! I appreciate it!

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  3. Oh my gosh...that is the rudest thing I've heard! This is why I don't go to Wal-Mart. I just look at those people as being too stupid to be allowed to go out in public. I wish one of the employees would have stepped in...or called security on him and kicked his butt out of the store.

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    1. Stephanie, it is the most rudest thing I've ever encountered. I try to avoid Wal-mart but sometimes it is necessary. Everyone was in shock and it happened so fast so I don't blame them. Thanks for your support!

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  4. That young man's disability is being incredibility insensitive. Let's just call it MEAN. When I hear a story like this, I think the mean person must be drunk or on drugs. I'd like to believe that no one in their right mind would act like that.

    I understand that you were upset that you "stooped to his level", but remember what you said, you are a normal person with normal feelings. And a normal person would have gotten angry with his behavior.

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    1. Thank you sweetie. You know I've met some ugly people but I think in my 52 years, it is one of the worst but I got through it. The sad part is he didn't seem like he was on drugs, he was just arrogant. Ahh this world of different people!

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Go ahead say whatever is on your mind after reading my post. I'm not easily offended and even if you want to disagree. I 'm opened to any comments. If nothing else, say Hi. I appreciate all of you who read my blog!