Sunday, June 21, 2015

Different Kind of Father's Day Post.

Happy Father's Day to all you GREAT dads out there. For those who are ACTUALLY Fathers and not just sperm donors. For those who love your kids for who they are and not what you want them to be. Happy Father's Day to all the stepfathers out there who embraced the child as their own. 

I can tell you my Daddy is the best in the world. Most of you will disagree because your believe yours is the best. We need to be thankful for our Daddies who are have played an active role in our lives.


He is a perfect role model. He had to start working at a young age because his mother died when he was small and his stepmother and Dad shoved his sister and him to an old couple who could only provide a roof over their heads and food. He had to work delivering papers to earn money for clothes and school supplies for him and his sister. He couldn't do sports like he would have loved to. 

I remember years ago, he would find old bike parts, put them together and give it to kids in the neighborhood. 

He is in 70's and very active in the community and his church parish. He mows yards for all the widows in his neighborhood. If someone needs help he stops what he is doing to help. I don't know how many times I've called in the middle of the night in need and he was there. 


He could have felt sorry for himself and went another path. But he didn't.  He did what he had to do.

I am so proud of my dad and I love him so much. My sister and I brought him and Mom eat out last night as a token of our appreciation.

I wish I could say the same for BabyGirl's father. It saddens me how he has become the person that he is.

He has hurt my daughter more ways than one. Never accepting her for the beautiful, talented and smart person she is. What kind of father tells his daughter that he is so disappointed in her and she broke his heart in pieces?

What is frustrating is that she still needs to deal with him. I tell her she doesn't need to but she visits her  stepmother and he is there. He has told her that she broke HIS heart. He has NO clue how HE continues to break hers. It was pure stupidity and mean.

She was never into drugs or criminal activity. She excelled in school and karate. Any other father would have taken her with open arms and without judgment.

He was upset that she didn't chose the career he wanted her to.

In his eyes, her successes were HIS or because of him.

He is missing out on so much. Being the way he is, he doesn't deserve her at all. 

What's sad is a pattern is forming. He used to get in my face and scream at me. He was sneaky and so good at manipulation, belittling and controlling me.

When I finally left him I had to come to the realization just how much it has affected me and BabyGirl. I blamed myself. I know it wasn't my fault that he turned out the way he did but when you are in that situation, you're almost programmed and you often ask yourself what is wrong with me. What could I have done for him not to be that way?

I moved on and so did he. Seeing his relationship with his ex I couldn't help wondering what was wrong with me. Why did our fairy tell story end so badly? We had a good marriage then he changed seemingly overnight. Others around me said it was different. They saw it little by little. They saw so much more than I did. Or maybe I was seeing it and just ignoring it?

Oddly, I was glad to see him so happy with is wife.  She is a genuine nice woman. I hoped and prayed she didn't see the side of him that I saw. No one deserves it.

However, from what I've seen and heard, his fear is becoming reality.He is turning into a drunk just like his father. He always said he never wanted to be like him. However, his personality is changing with her too. I think it is more dangerous because alcohol is involved.

When I hear my BabyGirl crying in fear for her stepmother my heart hurts.   I explain to her all she and her step siblings can do is let her know they are always there for her.  I know what BabyGirl's stepmother is going through. So many emotions!

Denial. Embarrassment. Scared. Alone. I hope and pray she gets out sooner than later.

MyLove never had an opportunity to have children. He loves and cares for BabyGirl as if she was his own. I remember the time we were becoming serous and he took her alone and told her he never wanted to replace her father but he was always there for her and he wanted her to come to him for anything. She has come to him a few times and he has acted on his promise. They have a unique relationship. He is a much better role model than her own Father.

Again, I wish all fathers, stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, a very Happy Father's Day. May those whose Father is in heaven, know they are looking down on you wishing you the best.


Until next time---

4 comments:

  1. I'm so happy that you and baby girl have your husband now. He is being a good role model for her as is her grandfather. Hopefully their actions speak louder than her biological father does.

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    1. Thank you. Yes, I am blessed that she had good role models in her grandfather and uncle. What's said the words hurts her deep inside and it probably won't go away completely. Thanks for dropping by.

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  2. You are one lucky lady! It warms my heart to see such a good person in a working relationship with a good man after troubled times.

    Pam

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