Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Most Embarrassing Moments~

We have had all of our MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS! After thinking, writing and rewriting I decided to let it all out. Also, a friend shared her story and I have to admit hers was worse. But let me talk about mine.

DISCLAIMER: This may contain  graphic and strong language.

It happened when I was in the hospital with an awful virus two weeks ago. Come here to catch up.

When I was in the ER and many times that day I was questioned if I had diarrhea and my response was always 'no'. I thought a couple of times, "Why do they keep asking me?" I never had to go the bathroom and never felt anything seep out of any of my orifices.

Lethargic with IV fluids pumped into my tiny body I laid in the comfy bed listening to my mom and MyLove chat. All of a sudden..I started farting.

My mom, the lovely compassionate Mother she is encouraged, "Let it out." She knows how awful my gas smells when I am sick. I mean farts never smell good but when I am sick, its the way my sickness leaves my body. We used to kid something crawled up inside and died.

Fast forward to around 12:30 AM the next morning, the nurse came in as the IV machine  was beeping. They had inserted  the IV in my inner elbow. making it positional.If I didn't hold my arm straight as a board,  it would stop the flow and the machine would beep. The nurse asked me to turn onto my side so she could get the tubing I was evidently laying on. My mom being awaken by the beep was standing on my other side. She lifted the blankets and exclaimed, "Oh My God!"

Horrified, I yelled, "WHAT?"

She proclaimed, "You have shit all over!"

The nurse glanced and immediately turned around and said she was going get the aide.While we waited, Mom was looking and said, "We are going to have to change everything. You have POOP from your neck to your toes!"

I wanted to cry and kept saying, "I didn't know! How did I not feel that? This is so embarrassing?"

She concluded, "It is just watery poop. Evidently every time you farted, you pooped."

The aide, Melinda  walked in with a stack of bed linens and gown. I apologized frantically.  She was a doll being professional but compassionate. She encouraged, "You're not the first one to do this nor the last."

Melinda was so sweet, professional and comforting as she bathed me and changed my bed. I heard my mom talking to Melinda as I wished I could be anywhere but there in my own poop.

I had never felt such degradation or helplessness!. Every time I moved, I continued to dry heave so I could not do anything to help except follow Melinda's gentle orders.. I hoped that when I was nursing I respected every patient there was as I cleaned them in the same fashion as Melinda was doing for me. I would never have wanted to put the patient in any more emotional turmoil that was necessary!

After I was cleaned I fell back to sleep. However, I woke up around 4:30 AM  and before I could do  or say anything, it happened again. I had a 'wet fart' as MyLove puts it.  It just came with no warning so the poop flowed. It wasn't so bad this time.  Melinda finished cleaning me up for the second time.

I ordered Mom, "Give me the bedpan."

She inquired, "WHY?"

I proclaimed, " I am not going to be embarrassed like this again.  It is degrading."  The bedpan became my "Throne". Of course after I got on it and was all set, the diarrhea had ceased. Go figure!

Later on a nurse came in and had to uncover me for an injection she asked, "You're using the bedpan?"

"No", I replied, "I just didn't want to poop all over again."

She contested, "Oh no, hun! You can't do that! You'll get bed sores from the bedpan." She  ordered me to roll over to take the bedpan. I was not happy.

My mom looked and said, "Look, ring around the butt!" She hadn't even realized how funny it came out but I chuckled.

So there you have it! My Most Embarrassing Moment ever.



  1. LOL! Well I am glad you think so! And you are so right..shit happens but you gotta move on!

  2. as my sis said, shit happens...

    that is a great story, but mostly i am glad you were around to tell it.

    being sick means nothing is really embarrassing anymore...

    in the last year i have been poked an proded as well as had more things going in out holes then i ever thought possible...

    peace out girly!
    you rock!

  3. Bruce,

    Yea my mom says same thing..and then she says, clean up and move on..

    At least I had an excuse right? LOL!

    OH my, hope all is well with you after being proded..Thanks!

    Peace out to you..you bringing me back to the old days!



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