Monday, May 6, 2013

Disappointment In Priest's Response

As posted previously I encountered a tactless Priest a few weekends ago. It upsets me and I have thought about it ever since. It bugged me so much I knew I couldn't let it go. After talking to others and praying I came up with a plan. 

I did not want to resolve this with animosity or put him in an awkward position. But I did want him to know what he had done.

After mass this past weekend, Hubby and I lingered until there were a handful people left that were off to the side talking among themselves.  I made my move.

I walked up to the Priest smiling and as we shook hands I put my other hand over his and looked into his eyes.

"Hello Father, the other day you asked me why I walked the way I did,..." I began. 

He ended the eye contact immediately interrupting and retorted "Yes, I wanted to know if you were hurt." 

At that moment, I knew it was not going to turn out the way I had hoped. His body language and averting eyes showed me he wanted to me go away. 

Determined and attempting eye contact (but failing as he looked everywhere but at me) l  softly said "Well I want you to know that I have Cerebral Palsy. You can Google it if you are interested.  I was hurt and embarrassed when you loudly asked me in front of most of the congregation. I am telling you this because I do not want anyone else to feel like I did. "

He chuckled (Yes he chucked although awkwardly) and said, "That was not the way I meant." 

Someone walked pass and he turned to them leaving me standing there and started talking to them. I was dismissed I guess. I just stared at him for a few seconds and walked away.

I was so very disappointed. I felt like I had failed.

But I didn't fail. I had a mission to inform him how it affected me.  The results weren't what I expected but I was able to do what I had set out to do.

I had faith and hope that he would see his error and attempt to make it okay. But he did not even apologize.  Probably in his mind, he did nothing wrong.

Maybe as he did me, I caught him off guard. Maybe he was so shocked he couldn't think 

I pray that he at least gives it one more thought before he acts like that with another person. 

I also will not let it affect whether I go to church or not. I will  enter the church every weekend with my head up high.  I am not going to mass because of his. I am going spend time with God!

Through my life I have had realizations as most of us do.  One of them is sometimes as much as you try, some people don't always get it or they do not want to get it. Regardless, it is nothing on me as long as I did my best. 

I have a blogger friend, Lyndz who also has CP.  She recounted my story adding her own personal experience with her parents who are Pastors. Please check out her blog. She even asked followers to stop at my blog and give "me some love." She made me smile. But her story always pull at my heart strings. I think of what I went through with this Priest, and it is nothing compared to what she had to go through with her own parents. She described me as a "fellow soldier in the cerebral palsy trenches". What an analogy! I love it. I wholeheartedly think likewise about her.  Thank you so very much Lyndzy

Warriors with CP such as ourselves need to band together for support and not feel so alone. 

She also posted a video. I admit I am not into music nowadays  I only listen to it when I am in the car and that is usually a classic rock. But this video pretty much hits home.



Thanks to everyone who has commented and emailed me with your love, support and advice. It is appreciated greatly.  

13 comments:

  1. Hi Lisa,
    My dear, if we made our decision on the message by who delivers the message, few would care to go to church. The priest was highly insensitive and ignorant. (This is where we remember the message of forgiveness, which is meant not to heal the transgressor, but to give us peace.) Apparently, he is living in a bubble.
    John (from writing class)

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    1. John, you are so right! Thanks for reading and commenting! My religion has lost many followers through the years. They have ads and commercials for "Catholics TO Come Home. Lack of compassion and ignorance of the messengers are not helping.

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  2. I am so proud of you!!! I am glad that you let him know how he has made you feel and I really hope that it helps him realize that his actions even tho they may not be ill intended may still come across that way. :-(

    love ya!!! hugs!!

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    1. Thanks Sara! Hopefully he'll think twice on how he says something to someone else. So glad you have found that someone special. You deserve it! Love ya and Hugs!

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  3. Spoken like a true warrior! YOU DID NOT FAIL! Not even close. To me, the fact that he chuckled and then downplayed the situation says it all. He knows he was wrong now, and wasn't prepared for you to actually confront it, because you know what? Most people never do. Good for you. I am so proud!

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  4. I am sorry he did not even have an " I am sorry...." somewhere in that brain of his. Even an " I am sorry... but.... " would have been so easy. Perhaps he was a shade embarrassed?

    Peace and love and by the way, Noncorngirl is my favorite Martini buddy in the whole world.

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    1. Yea, maybe it was a shade of embarrassment Pam. But he just seems like "Oh crap I was just confronted" and had no idea how to react.

      I am jealous...I want to be a Martin Buddy with ya'll! LOL! But glad you two can get together like that!

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    2. Anytime, anytime. I have an old highschool gal pal who lives in Baton Rouge. She work in the film industry and is so creative. I am going to get out that way when Johnny is a little bit older and can recongize good iron work. Our family buisness is a foundry, but we build for aerospace.

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    3. Ya'll are kinda far..lol..However when you come to Baton Rouge, let me know I can go meet you! Interesting business!

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  5. oops, did my post disappear? lol I am so bad on this stuff.

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  6. If so then, I am sorry the Priest did not even have it in him to day " I am sorry" . He should have, purgatory is going to burn pretty smart if he does not learn how to be kind in all things even the ones that make him uncomfortable.

    I wonder if I have to got to confession for even suggesting such a thing. But we all know Priest are for sure not perfect... far from it.

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    1. No need to be sorry but I appreciate the kind words. I think I made him uncomfortable when I confronted him because when he embarrassed me he was boastful. I think God understands and I don't think confession is needed. He needs to go to confession but I just pray he thinks before he opens his mouth like that.

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  7. NO, it was in my comment moderation and I hadn't gotten to it yet..Sorry..

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Go ahead say whatever is on your mind after reading my post. I'm not easily offended and even if you want to disagree. I 'm opened to any comments. If nothing else, say Hi. I appreciate all of you who read my blog!