I did not want to resolve this with animosity or put him in an awkward position. But I did want him to know what he had done.
After mass this past weekend, Hubby and I lingered until there were a handful people left that were off to the side talking among themselves. I made my move.
I walked up to the Priest smiling and as we shook hands I put my other hand over his and looked into his eyes.
"Hello Father, the other day you asked me why I walked the way I did,..." I began.
He ended the eye contact immediately interrupting and retorted "Yes, I wanted to know if you were hurt."
At that moment, I knew it was not going to turn out the way I had hoped. His body language and averting eyes showed me he wanted to me go away.
Determined and attempting eye contact (but failing as he looked everywhere but at me) l softly said "Well I want you to know that I have Cerebral Palsy. You can Google it if you are interested. I was hurt and embarrassed when you loudly asked me in front of most of the congregation. I am telling you this because I do not want anyone else to feel like I did. "
He chuckled (Yes he chucked although awkwardly) and said, "That was not the way I meant."
Someone walked pass and he turned to them leaving me standing there and started talking to them. I was dismissed I guess. I just stared at him for a few seconds and walked away.
I was so very disappointed. I felt like I had failed.
But I didn't fail. I had a mission to inform him how it affected me. The results weren't what I expected but I was able to do what I had set out to do.
I had faith and hope that he would see his error and attempt to make it okay. But he did not even apologize. Probably in his mind, he did nothing wrong.
Maybe as he did me, I caught him off guard. Maybe he was so shocked he couldn't think
I pray that he at least gives it one more thought before he acts like that with another person.
I also will not let it affect whether I go to church or not. I will enter the church every weekend with my head up high. I am not going to mass because of his. I am going spend time with God!
Through my life I have had realizations as most of us do. One of them is sometimes as much as you try, some people don't always get it or they do not want to get it. Regardless, it is nothing on me as long as I did my best.
I have a blogger friend, Lyndz who also has CP. She recounted my story adding her own personal experience with her parents who are Pastors. Please check out her blog. She even asked followers to stop at my blog and give "me some love." She made me smile. But her story always pull at my heart strings. I think of what I went through with this Priest, and it is nothing compared to what she had to go through with her own parents. She described me as a "fellow soldier in the cerebral palsy trenches". What an analogy! I love it. I wholeheartedly think likewise about her. Thank you so very much Lyndzy
Warriors with CP such as ourselves need to band together for support and not feel so alone.
She also posted a video. I admit I am not into music nowadays I only listen to it when I am in the car and that is usually a classic rock. But this video pretty much hits home.
Thanks to everyone who has commented and emailed me with your love, support and advice. It is appreciated greatly.