Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Embarrassment because of Cerebral Palsy In Family and Friends?

From time to time I go onto a CP Community Board on Face book. It is for all who have CP to congregate and ask questions and/or share their stories.

As I was scanning through I came upon this question. 'Ever see your child "embarrassed" because of you? '

Surprisingly to me, many had stories about their children being embarrassed.  Some kids requested they not walk with them etc.

It sparked a reminder of one of my online friends/fellow blogger had a set of parents who were not accepting as she grew up.  When I heard her story, it also boggled my mind. It still does when I think about it. She is a strong person getting through it all but I can't even guess how she felt.

One girl shared that she was asked to  walk in her friend's wedding. However, when the parents met her they said she would ruin the wedding. 

SERIOUSLY?!

The girl told her friend it was okay to find someone to replace her. She wanted her friend's day to be special and go smoothly. She knew her friend wasn't embarrassed.  

I admit she took it better than I would have. I probably would have done the same thing for my friend. But on the other hand I think I would have been hurt because she did not stand up for me. 

Reading other people's experiences make me realize how blessed I am. I have a family who have never been embarrassed by me.  They accepted me for who I was. 

I can say without a doubt that my sister was not embarrassed by me. Yea, like every sibling rivalry she probably wished I would go away as I was a pesky little sister. It was my job to make her annoyed, I admit I did it well sometimes!

None of my friends were embarrassed by me. But then again, I would not have friends who didn't accept me the way I am and were embarrassed of me. I was in two of my friend's weddings. I couldn't believe they asked me. I had voiced my fears of falling down the aisle with the long dress to one. Her response was it could happen to anyone and if I did, she would just come pick me up. It meant a lot to me that my friends accepted me and loved me enough to ask me to wobble in their wedding. (It was supposed to make you smile!)

My worst fear was for my child to get teased or embarrassed by me. But early on she showed she was not. She defended me when one of her classmates teased me and let him know it was in his best interest to keep his thoughts to himself. And in the fourth grade, she had a 4-H project. She did a presentation on Cerebral Palsy. 

It's unimaginable to me that people who are important in your life would be embarrassed by your CP. I just can't wrap my head around it.

I am sure I will be thinking about this for a bit, trying to figure it out. 

My jumbled thoughts are:  

It is not like you can do anything about it if you have CP. None of us with it asked for it. Probably all of us would agree that if we had a choice we wouldn't have it. But we're stuck with it and we just have to make the best of it. 

I understand children can be selfish and inconsiderate at times but to treat their parents who gave life to them like that, is incomprehensible.  

I understand some teens go through a phase of independence and embarrassment of their 'normal' parents. And maybe that is also true for children of disabled parents. 

As mentioned by others in the CP community  my worst fear came true for them. Their kid were bullied because he had CP so the kid requests they stay clear of him when they are at the school.  Or their sibling has CP and they are being teased because of it.  

Maybe it is not totally embarrassment but fear, of them not being accepted by others because of their parent or sibling with CP. 

It is such a cruel world. 

I don't know. I guess it never happened to me and I can't understand it. In my life, family was important. We were to love, respect and accept each other, period. 

What do you think? How do you think you would feel if you had any kind of disability and your child was embarrassed? 

6 comments:

  1. it's unimaginable to me, too. True friends and family love us for who we are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my point Nocorngirl We should be loved as we are!!

      Delete
  2. Oh my gosh, how sad for that girl. I don't think anyone would be embarrassed of me or I of them, I know I wouldn't! Not friend nor family! We have a good friend whose son ropes with my husband. He was burned in an oilfield explosion two years ago...95 percent of his body. His girlfriend at the time was only dating him a few weeks. She stood by him all that time, all those skin surgery's. They are married now. That's true love. I have been around him so much and his looks do not embarrass me at all. He is still Gods child, still the same sweet person. Yes, people are cruel! I always said what comes around, goes around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is true love. Your friend is an angel and a good person. Glad her now hubby is living a productive life.

      What is sadder is that there were many like this girl. There was one other besides myself that had positive experiences with their children.

      I would never be embarrassed with anyone. I don't know that whole thread just hit a cord with me big time.

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

      And yes Karma will come back to them.

      Delete
  3. I would be very upset with my children if they were intimidated by other children because of anything that might be different about me. But in hindsight, I think when I was directing full time at my oldest son school he was maybe not embarrassed but truly annoyed with my presence. Its not the same thing but it still kind of bothered me.

    I am quite sure my friend... who is listed above knows that I think she is just fine the way she is and am am proud to hang out with her when we go out. Her best features (in my humble girly opinion)are her sense of humour and jewelry choices,... and mine is ordering the crappiest Martinis on the planet and still be abling to drink them down to the last dribble. haha
    Love all yall!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pam, I understand that some kids are embarrassed of their parents. They go through a phase but the topic was if their child was embarrased because of their CP. There is a slight difference, to me anyway. And that is just so uncool.

      Oh wait you and Path meet and go out? That is awesome. Sounds like fun!

      Thanks for taking your time to read and share your opinion!

      Delete

Go ahead say whatever is on your mind after reading my post. I'm not easily offended and even if you want to disagree. I 'm opened to any comments. If nothing else, say Hi. I appreciate all of you who read my blog!