Monday, May 19, 2014

A Different Journey Begins

From yesterday's post, you learned my BabyGirl graduated college. 

 I asked God to allow me to live until she graduated high school from the day she was born.

He has blessed me with much more. I was able to watch her receive her college degree!

She has more to go for her Master's after a well needed and deserved hiatus from school. It's been a long 4 years for BabyGirl. She worked a full time job PLUS went to college full time. She was in honors with a 3.216 average. She majored in Liberal Arts (Psychology and Criminal Justice). Before her college years she had all honor classes which was just like going to college in high school. 

I prayed as I watched her stress with work, school and life in between such as two vehicle accidents.

Thankfully, she had the strength and determination to plunge through it all. I am sure more college students were like her. But you know, we have tunnel vision when it comes to our own child.

On Facebook, I continuously posted for a week that MyBabygirl was graduating college.  I was beaming so bright I probably blinded people. Although I had many likers, encouraging words, support and compliments, I am sure some are happy it ended!

Her real life begins while part of mine ends. Maybe that is not the right phrase to use. Through the years I think we both changed.

The financial cord is cut. Yes, I will help her if she ever needs help but my financial obligations as far as her education is over. She had already been on living on her own and paying her own bills.

I was a Mom who wanted to know everything she did, everywhere she went, who she was with etc. At one point, I had this irrational idea that since I helped her with college tuition she owed me those answers. Luckily, I came to my senses.  I realized I was grasping for something that was no longer mine..her life.

I drove myself crazy at first because I was worried and honestly I missed her. Yes, she was gone a few years before college because she wanted to move in with her stepmother (Note I didn't say Father) but we had our visits together. I knew college was going to take her more away from me even more.

I just read what I wrote and it sounds so selfish.

Anyway…

I have learned to step back and let her come to me with whatever she wanted to share. It was so hard to do and so many times I had to stop and talk myself out of asking. I have not been disappointed.

She called and cried her heart out at times of despair. 

She called with joy of her accomplishments. 

Just like when she was living with me in the past.

She told me her grades. She had even given me her online college account information so I can check for myself her grades, classes, financial stuff. I am proud to say I only used it once and that was only a few weeks ago because I wanted to know how many credits she had. 

She gave me time for lunch dates when she could. (I expect this to continue always!)

She called to tell me she loved me and missed me.

She let me hug and kiss on her more.  She gave me bigger hugs when we saw each other.

As I watched her go down the aisle to her seat at graduation I cried. Tears just flowed. 

Tears of joy. Tears of pride. Tears of relief. Tears of love.

For 21 years I was on a journey with her. It is time for me to step off the journey and watch her go on her own journey being the best adult she can be. I know she is fully capable and will.




10 comments:

  1. I have tears of JOY as I read this!!!!! You have my uttermost admiration and respect! You are an inspiration. Some people think when we are faced with challenges we will collapse and cry defeat. I personally believe you faced your challenges dead on you are walking out of the storm into the miraculous Rainbow of Sunshine and beauty God has in store for you and baby girl. Someone once told me that in life we may be walking towards a storm, we are in a storm, or walking out of the storm. I have to say being in a Storm and Dancing in the Rain is proof no matter where you are your outlook is what makes the JOURNEY! God Bless

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    1. OH my goodness, thanks Karina! Such a beautiful comment! I was told something similar! I am glad I have inspired someone through my blog. People like you are the reason I share my life. Thank YOU! God Bless and Hugs

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  2. As I read your post today, I couldn't help but tear up, not because you wrote something sad, it was because I saw my world wrote by someone else. I have two grown daughters. They are both married now. After collage, after leaving on their own, after seeing them struggle, even after they are adults now, I still worry. That's what we do as mothers. I learned a long time ago that God shares them with us to raise to the best that we can and to love them unconditionally just as he does us. It doesn't mean I wont worry from time to time, but I lift them up to God everyday to take care of and lay them at his feet to guide through life.
    Babygirl will do just fine. You put her on the right paths of life and she knows that path always leads back home.

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    1. Thank you Path! I am glad I can write something that others can relate to. Yes, I agree..We, as mothers will always worry. God has blessed both of us. I love your last sentence because I wasn't sure if I wrote what I was trying to explain. Thanks so much!

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  3. I know you are just over the moon with joy for your daughter! Congratulations to everyone. I am so happy for you and you daughter passing and celebrating a major life milestone. I can't wait to see what happens next.
    Pam

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    1. Thank you Pam and I am glad I can share my joy with you and others. I have the confidence in my daughter that she will move on to great things.

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