Yesterday I went see yet a new doctor for a persistent new problem. When I was given the potential diagnosis and the treatment I starting seeing the black hole swallowing me. I tried thinking I need to just wait for other test results.
But on the other hand regardless of the results I'm just tired of it all. I have no clue how much more my body can take.
I needed to talk to someone. Hubby was my first thought but he was at work. I didn't want to call BabyGirl because I know how much she worries about me already and didn't want to wake her up. So I called my dependable mom but I got her answering machine. I left her message with me half crying so I wasn't sure if she understood me or not. I came home and wrote my sister a note because I know she sometimes know where Mom is and will call her until she contacts her.
The whole day passed. I had to return to the office to get more MRIs. Of course, when I was having the MRI, my mom left me a message that she had talked to my sister. She loved me and was there for me anytime and anywhere. Everything would be okay and we'll get through this too.
When I returned home I called her. She could tell I was losing it. I was frustrated. I was scared. I was angry. She said, "Let it out." I sobbed uncontrollably until I couldn't anymore. She talked me down and she encouraged me as she always does. I wish I had a stronger faith as she does.
Isn't it awesome that mothers just know what their kids need at a given time?
I hope and pray I am at least half of the mother she is.
Until next time
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I will pray for your this morning. You will be my prayer mile and you are one of my dearest online friends so if you need to vent just let me know.
ReplyDeletePam
Aww Pam, you truly warmed my heart. Thank you for your friendship, kindness and prayers. Same goes for you..i'm only an email away :) Sorry don't have texts..are you can call me i can I've you my number privately :)
DeleteI have no doubt that you are as good a mother as your own mother. Sounds like she set a good example for you to follow. In the meantime, you will get through this and come out the other side okay. I know this because you are a strong person to get this far and your journey has made you even stronger. Don't forget to do something fun just for yourself while you are dealing with this most recent problem. More prayers are coming from here.
ReplyDeleteThank you sweet heart. I surely hope so. Irony of it is I just came back from vacation two days before I went to the appointment. I so appreciate your prayers and support!
DeleteYou are fortunate to have a mother like that. I do think most of our mothers care like this, but that's not always the case. I think the mother a person has usually sets the example that makes us better parents (or bad parents when the bad example has been set). Sounds like you have the right role model.
ReplyDeleteArlee Bird
Tossing It Out
Arlee, yes I know I am very fortunate to have a mother as I do. I've ever so many horror stories who's mothers were devils in disguise. Mine has always been there for me.
DeleteThanks for stopping by.and responding.