Sunday, November 28, 2010

No Excuse for Rudeness..especially in Family!

Last month I went to my sister's to celebrate her son,my godchild's birthday. He made 30 years old. My whole family was there except my daughter (LG)but she was coming after work and my SO was working as well. We live 20 minutes from my sister's (MB) house. That day the New Orleans Saints game was on.

When I got there the birthday man (AB), my brother in law (TB) and neice's boyfriend (SC) was in front of the TV watching it barely acknowledging us. When we ate the 3 just sat in front of the TV yelling and watching football while the rest of us was at the table.

Remember, we took the time to buy a card, drove our 20 miles  and make our day available for (AB).

At half-time, (AB) and (TB) comes yelling, "C'mon, its half time, lets do the cake." So we hurriedly gave him the cards and we ate cake.

Right before the game ended, my mom and dad left. However, they had seen LG two days before and they did their duty for (AB). My daughter called me and told me she got off work early and was on her way. Everyone knew she was coming a little later.

The game ended and I was so ready to leave but I was waiting for my daughter so I could see her and we had to give each other stuff. Well out of the blue AB, SC, my  neice (BB) and AB's girlfriend (BC) started talking about going to Wallyworld to look for Christmas decorations. One of them ask when? AB says, "Let's go now." I kept repeating, "LG is coming" to deaf ears. LG  had just called to tell me she was on her way.

Well AB says, "Lets go now." I thought, "Is he really going to leave like this?" AB, SC,BC and BB start getting their stuff. It was such confusion and  I was so upset, it was like everyone talking was blending into each other.

I realized they were actually going to leave. So I called my daughter stating they were getting ready to leave.

She said, "I'm on my way."
I responded, "I know. Sorry."

I felt disappointed, hurt, frustrated and anger.

I could tell by her voice she was disappointed. "I bought him a card and decorated it."
I suggested, "Throw it away or mail it to him."
She responded, "But I have all kinds of faces on it and stuff." Then she adds, "Well since I am on my way, I am going to just visit with Nanny." (My sister, MB)

Well in the meantime AB is rushing everyone to go. AB has always been loud and can't keep still. It is like he is hyper.

My daughter calls me back saying that she changed her mind and she turned around and is going home. We made arrangements to meet at a later date.

So I got off the phone and told MB I was leaving. She asked me to wait because she was going to fix  some for my SO (Significant other for those who don't know) to bring back.

AB looks outside and says, "Nanny, you have to move your car. You are behind the car we are using"

I asked, "You can't go around me?"

MB yelled, "Just hold on."

AB totally ignores MB and tells me "No, you are behind me."

I said, "Take my keys and move my car then."

MB is saying, "Just calm down and wait a few minutes."

AB answers, "There is no where to put your car." Which was true except for the grass and it was wet.

MB finishes fixing the plate and I had other stuff to bring out the car so MB and BC walks out helping me. After we got the stuff in my car I hugged BC and MB.

MB whispered, "I am so sorry."

I responded, "I do not hold you responsible and you don't owe me an apology."

Do you know while I was saying bye, the other 3 had already sat in the car waiting for me to back out?

When I started on the road, AB was tailgating me.

As I drove home, I ran everything in my head and I became quite upset. When I entered the door my SO asked me what happened? I just cried and told him everything.

AB has done hurtful things to me in the past and once I told him how I felt but he never responded.

I meditated, prayed, talked to a friend and read my bible for an answer for a few days.

I came to the resolution that even if I said something it wouldn't matter. He is selfish and inconsiderate. MB and I never discussed it because my issue is not with my sister.

I am planning my dad's birthday next Sunday to be here. The game is at noon. I called mom today and we started talking.

I told her what happened after they left on AB's birthday. She told me that MB apologized for the rudeness to her when they met up at yoga. My mom told her they were all adults, yes, they were rude but the apology from her is not necessary.

As we talked she told me by my saying he is hyper is making an excuse. She said there is absolutely no reason for rudeness. I agree. She was not happy with the situation that day without knowing what happened.

I told her I had been thinking alot of what to do and I have decided in order not to be in that situation again, I am contemplating in not going to AB's birthday. He doesn't appreciate it and obviously doesn't care.

As w were talking that hurt came back and I started crying. I thought I was over it. I get so frustrated with my sensitive side.

My mom said that she went to retreat last weekend and talked to the priest. The priest said when someone hurts you, you will always be leery with that person because you have the knowledge that they have the capability of hurting you again. It is normal. The hurt will lessened in time but from time to time, it will resurface. The important thing is how you deal with it.

I told mom I will write or call my sister and tell her its at noon and to remind them to record the game like I will be doing because the game will not be on here. If they think the game is so important they don't have to come and I feel adamant about that.

Mom had an afterthought and asked what time will Layla be available. She said they were free all that day so if we want it at 4-5 that is fine. So I need to call her and make sure she is off that day and if not I will make it for when its convenient for her.

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