Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No Ambition or Focus

I have not been writing as I would like to. I cannot focus. Have you ever aimed to get to one page then you never end up where you wanna be because you see another link and go there instead?  Well, that's what I have been doing lately, if I surf at all. I check my email, play a PC game then I lose interest.  The past week I can feel that deep black hole trying to suck me in.

I just read a FB friend say she is bored out of her mind. It's get up, school, go to bed and do it over again. My problem is I get up, get on the computer, do chores, go to bed and start over again. I think what can I do to occupy my time while MyLove works. Lately, he has been working long late hours. I have little money. I hate driving,  I have no ambition. I am still waiting for the Big Brother/Big Sister to match me with a Little.

Yes, I could clean apt, laundry etc and I do but I also have the MAJOR Don't Wants!

I do think I know the cause of the black hole seeping in. See, I went have the annual exam women do every year. I FINALLY remembered to show doc what the hormonal patch did to my skin. He looked at the site and said, "You look branded." That was a perfect way of putting it!

He changed my patch to a smaller dose to have a smaller patch. So for those who use a hormonal patch, if the site is red and itchy, you are having a reaction! I knew that being that I was a nurse but I kept forgetting to tell him. I don't think the new patch is working though (UGH).

I have Fridays (some), Saturday and Sunday to look forward to because MyLove is off work. I also have Wednesdays to look forward to because its My BabyGirl and I's day. Thinking about it, that's a lot of days but one of those days are taken away from me and MyLove because on one of his days off, he goes deal with his land. I don't go because of the heat and my allergies.

I had lunch with a long lost friend today. It was great to see him! I usually have lunch with my cuz regularly but it just hasn't happened with the financial stuff.

So anyway, I apologize. I will catch up one day. Thanks for dropping by!


  1. I think the seasons stir up emotions on the deep thinkers and artistic types, you are not alone.

  2. Karina, you right! Thanks for reading and commenting


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