Thursday, July 25, 2013

I Have The Gangsta and Pimp Walk Going on!

Throughout my life, my walk has been described many ways. I couldn't tell you every description but there were a few that ingrained in my memory.

I recall the doctors describing me as ataxic and spastic with a wide gait. Hence,diagnosis Mixed Cerebral palsy, which means a combo. ataxia and spastic.

Ataxic gait is defined as unsteady, uncoordinated walk, employing a wide base and the feet thrown out. It's a very accurate description except for the feet thrown out.  I don't throw my feet out, or I don't think I do. BabyGirl, her father and I had once came up with "I weeble wobble but don't fall down..most of the time.

Spastic: a gait in which the legs are held together and move in a stiff manner, the toes seeming to drag and catch. My legs are not held together in my opinion but I am stiff. But I do tend to drag my feet. I still hear my mom demanding, "Pick up your feet!" It was annoying and frustrating to me as a child but as an adult I can see that I could be dragging worse than I do now.

As a child, kids used to tease and laugh call me crippled and said I walked like a duck or penguin. They would cruelly imitate and laugh. I thought they looked so ridiculous. 

As I got older my peers would tease I was a cowgirl or suggest I should get off my back with sexual overtures. I remember some idiot boys would laugh and say, "C'mon Cowgirl! Give me a ride." It was disgusting and shameful to me. I had wished they would disappear during those moments.

As I age and have grown, the name calling doesn't affect me as much. Sometimes it hurts deep inside. But for the most part I  laugh along WITH them now. I think the way it affects me depends on how it is  presented. 

For example if I am in a crowd and a kid comes yelling, laughing and pointing saying to others, "Look she walks funny" makes me uncomfortable and hurts. I want to crawl under a rock. Not because of the shamefulness but because I hate attention brought onto me in that way.

But if I am with family or friends or people I know and we start talking about it, Or even if a stranger comes quietly bringing no attention I am fine with it. Actually I embrace it and am happy to answer.

The other day I was having my day with BabyGirl and her friend was there. It was the first time I met him.  I can't remember exactly how he started as we were walking down steep stairs. I was concentrating on not tripping. He said something like "What happened, you walk like a PIMP ..or a gangsta?

It caught me by surprise because BabyGirl usually tell her friends before so there would be no awkwardness. I asked, "BabyGirl, you didn't tell him." She said no and proceeded to tell him that I had Cerebral Palsy. He responded, "Oh I am sorry." 

I just started laughing and said that was a first! I had been described many things but never a pimp or gangsta.

He apologized and I could tell he was sincere and met no harm. I wasn't offended or hurt. It just struck me funny.  

I giggled throughout the day when I thought about it.

It is amazing how different people can describe one thing so differently.

Have you been called a name that was funny? What kind of names were you called that hurt your feelings and why?


  1. Oh Lordy, name calling is just awful. Glad you baby girl found a genteleman with a kind heart.

    I use to get poked fun at because I never wore frilly or new clothes to school. I had to choose between music and dance lessons or clothes and I always chose the later. The worse was when I car full of girls thought I was a cute hippie boy because I was wearing my brother's hamd me downs. That still hurts a little to this day. And I still have troulbe wearing and buying girly clothes.
    It is amazing how our youth cann affect our adult life.

    Boy that was a pretty big share for me. lol

  2. I so appreciate your big share Pam!! I am sorry you had to go through that. And nowadays alot of girls wear boy clothes. My daughter went through a phase, short hair, boys shorts etc..But it shows no matter what, some moron will find SOMETHING to tease you about.

    It's sorta comforting to know we are not alone.."SIGH"

  3. Im sorry I am giggling here... I just couldn't imagine anyone suggesting you were a "gangser" or "pimp". lol. some people just dont think before they open their mouths!!


    1. That's okay I giggled too. It was just the way he said. He didn't mean it as being mean. He is really a sweet guy and a little ignorance seeped through at that moment!

      Hugs returned!


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