Thursday, August 1, 2013

If You Had A WIsh

If you had a wish what would it be? Be selfish! If you had every resource (including money) available to you what would you wish?

Hubby and I laugh if we won the lottery, we would be set. Of course, the odds are against us because we don't play it regularly. But we do dream.

Yesterday, I was in a depressed mood and vented to a dear college friend. She is a genuine good person and friend that means a lot to me. She reminded me to think about what was good in my life.

I paused and thought of the many great things in my life. My great wonderful Hubby. My beautiful child. My family and friends. My new home.

But black clouds hovered and those dark thoughts kept seeping in. At one point I wished someone would come and just shoot me. Get my life over with.

I prayed to God thanking him for the good things. I also asked him what was the purpose of life if you can't live it to the fullest.

I started writing random things..and I thought if I had one wish what would it be.

Of course MONEY was the first thing. But I shook it off. That's too practical. Money doesn't solve everything (although it sure would help LOL)

Lately, I've been praying more than usual having a chat with God. Of course he only listens. I guess he is devising a plan to answer. I don't know.

I've been asking him why can't I just have ONE year of having any negative thing happening, especially medically or financially.

Every year of my 50 years it has been one thing or another medically. Unfortunately, it seems I need to resign myself that is not going to change. I have more moments of accepting it but there are moments I feel like enough is enough!

So at first I thought my wish would be just having a healthy life. Just everything I have vanish and I can  feel what it is to feel completely healthy. And I am not particularly saying my cerebral palsy. I mean my other medical stuff.

I continue to think. I finally came to my final decision.  I know I said to be selfish. But when I look back on my back and where I am now, it is all good. I have a loving husband and we have a home and we scrape by.

My wish would be to take all the pain BabyGirl has endured due to her father and I's divorce. I wish I could give her everything to make the rest of her life easier. I am not saying making her rich but just enough money to get her by comfortably. Give her a home so she won't have to worry about rent. Give her all the tools she needs to have a carefree happy life.

I know eventually, with her ambition and hard work she will be able to make her life better. I wish it will come to a point where she will be stress free and content.

That's my ultimate wish---for BabyGIrl to be happy, stress free, contest, have all of her dreams come true.

Share your wish if you would like or comment on mine.  Love to hear from my readers.

4 comments:

  1. Well,
    I want to grow old and see my children happy.
    I want them to each have a wonderful wedding with the right person.
    I found the right person finally after living in hell for many years, but we did not really have any kind of real wedding and I now know that those special memories are what gets you through the tough stuff.

    Wait, am I wishing too much.
    One more.
    I wish I did not get so stressed and scared and depressed so easily.
    There, all done.

    Thinking of you and sending well wishes,
    Pam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing this with me...

      Isn't it funny how most parents wishes include their children to have the best.

      That's okay about more than one wish. I wish you would be so stressed, scared or depressed so easily. You need to learn to take one day at a time :). Prayers going your way (Hope you don't mind).

      Hugs
      Lisa

      Delete
  2. Thank you for the prayers and I really appreciate them.

    Pam : )

    ReplyDelete

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