I had been hunkered down in my home feeling like a leper. I have had sores in my hands, mouth and feet. I was miserable. I finally got a diagnosis last week, ridiculously unusual as always for me. Doc said I have Mouth, Foot and Hand infection. Gee whiz. He said its viral and I could have gotten it anywhere. And my autoimmune disorder doesn't help matters. He gave me an example that totally grossed my child and I. It's for another post.
Feeling like the four walls closing in on me I decided to take a walk about 100 yards to my mail box the other day. Our home is on a rather busy highway so vehicles are passing by at intervals. As I opened the mail box a truck whizzes by and a postcard flies out.
CRAP (In the PG version)!, I yelled. To no one.
Let me remind you my balance is not normal. A fly can swish by and it'll knock me off my feet.
Okay maybe not that bad...but its pretty close. A small breeze certainly can knock me off balance.
If I should fall, it is difficult to get up if I don't have anything to help pull myself up with
Anyway, the postcard flies across the driveway landing near the edge of the ditch. So I half run/half jog to it. When I get to it I put my foot on it and realize I am in a predicament. I knew if I bent down to pick it up and a vehicle passes there would be a high probability I would fall. I was also at a slight decline because the ditch was behind me which makes the probability higher.
There was a pile of overgrown brush inches away. As I scoped the vicinity around me, I took note that there is NOTHING to use or crawl to pull myself up if I did fall.
The thought of letting it fly away entered my mind but I knew Hubby was waiting for it as it was a confirmation of an event he is attending. I know he would have totally understood if I told him.
In addition, we have a problem with people throwing trash out their cars landing in our yard so I didn't want to add to the other neighbors littered yard.
Side Note; Please don't litter. I don't care where you are or whatever but even the hamburger wrapper, beverage cans or cigarette butts adds up. Just do NOT throw anything out your window. Think how would you feel if I would go throw trash in YOUR yard.
Anyway...I decide to go for it. Took a deep breath and ...counted..1..2..3...
I bent and fumbled..but was able to catch my balance, stand up and stabilize. Second time I bent and grabbed it picking it up.
So good so far..
Just as I was straightening a truck whooshed by. I FALL hands first into the pile of brush!
Funny, my first reaction was to look around to see if anyone saw me. No one was around. Pride intact.
I thought, "I am screwed"...then I felt the pricks, it seemed when I moved my hand the thorns dug deeper but I knew I had to get up. It reminded me of allergy skin testing but worse.
I kept saying I can do this. I have to do this. It would be an hour before Hubby returned and of course I don't want to be humiliated with someone seeing me on the ground.
So I took another deep breath. Scanned the highway both ways. I was in the clear. So fumbling more after a few seconds I finally pushed myself up, turned around and quickly stumbled towards the house gaining my balance more as I moved away from the highway. I probably looked like a drunk person with my wide gait and fumbling at first.
On second thought, that's probably how I look like anyway..just 4 times worse.
Its been BabyGirl's worst fear with me falling in middle of somewheres with nothing to pull myself up.
But now I know with determination and pride mixed in I know if there is a will there is a way.