Thursday, December 19, 2013

My Latest Mantra

I've been sitting here thankful I didn't have to go anywhere. Early this morning I transferred from my bed to Hubby's chair in Media room. I grabbed remote and watched couple of hours of TV. Got up, took meds, grabbed Ensure, heated brunch in microwave and plopped again in Hubby's chair.

I ate, shuffled dishes back to sink in kitchen and washed, saved dishes Hubby washed, and shuffled to my chair and between potty breaks this is where I stayed.

Oh I did pick up the phone and order something for our Christmas meal that I'll hopefully pick up Monday after my follow-up appointment.

I stared outside, it's a gloomy day to fit my mood. The wind was so strong I thought our roof was going to fly away.  I was thankful I did not have to get out in this yucky weather.

Then I sat and thought. I thought of stuff I should not be thinking about. I thought of what the new year may bring. At least we'll start our New Year in a home. We were homeless living with my MIL until our home was ready.

I thought about where I am going? Where will I be? I've told Hubby several times lately, it's like I am in a rut.

I guess God solved that giving me the medical crisis. It's not the kind of resolution I was thinking of but I guess its his answer. 

Maybe its an example of watching out what you wish for.

Hubby told me that he regrets not bringing me to the doctor that Monday, it could have avoided the hospitalization. He may be right. But looking at the bright side, he says, I did get to see a few people I had not seen in ages, otherwise. He is right. 

Oh yea, I think I need to post that blog post. Gawd I can't remember anything if my life depended on it.

At the end of a year, a lot of people who had a great year wants to continue into the following year. The people who had a dreadful or semi good year wishes for a better year.

Well I'm all wished out. Even if I wish simple things, it never comes true. The hits just keep coming.

I know there are many people who are worse off than me. There are others who have no food, shelter or family.  I know I am having my very own pity party.

My latest mantra is, "I just wish it would stop!"

What do I mean by that? Your guess is as good as mine. 

No, I'm not on a suicidal mission so no worries. It shall pass.

I just want a life for one year throwing NO curves. 

If you made it this far, thanks for stopping by and reading it through!


  1. One day at a time sweetie. That's how you have to take life. I learned that through 15+ years of health crises with Rich.

    1. Yea I know Barb, that's what mom said and had to live by all those years with me as a child. But as I get older I am struggling but with friends like you, I know I will get through it. Thanks and big hugs!


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