Full Of Crap

I have not posted because I was not feeling well. I've been writing and rewriting this post for 3 days now. I'm sick of it!

Since I was a little girl I was always fascinated with how the body works. It's one of the reasons why I became a nurse.

 I'm always driving my Hubby a little crazy going over what our body is doing at any moment. Blood flowing from the aorta through the body. Lungs exchanging gas and air from your body. Heart pumping. Food moving along your digestive system. Muscles contracting.

You get the picture.

My food has not been moving along as it should causing it to back up (Constipation). Maybe I'll write a post detailing the topic at another time.

Photo Credit: Damian

I know this is not the most pleasant thing to talk about. But I've had this problem all of my life. Maybe I can help someone sharing my experience.  I'll try not to gross you out.

I am usually able to have less occurrences taking stool softeners. I eat all the right foods and drink plenty of water.  I know cheese is a culprit so I don't eat it as often as I'd like.  I've also tried "natural' laxatives. 

I have a bad gag reflex and my uvula doesn't work well so I aspirate. The uvula is the little tissue thingie in the back of your throat.   The aspiration causes a back flow of acid irritating my esophagus causing Gastrointestinal Reflux (GERD).

The GERD causes scarring and narrowing of the esophagus. The scarring of the esophagus causes dysphagia which is the medical term for difficulty swallowing.

For 5 weeks I could not have a normal bowel movement. I would go a little but I knew I had not completely emptied. I tried laxatives and doubled my stool softener but it didn't work. I started Miralax but it seemed like it was taking FOREVER to work.

After a few weeks I was tired of feeling bloated and unable to poop. I made a doctor's  appointment. In my misery I told my hubby my butt cheeks felt full of crap. He laughed at that one. Gotta admit it was funny!

I finally made it to the doctor. Scratch that. I didn't see a doctor. I saw the Nurse Practitioner. I have all kinds of issues with going to the doctor and seeing only a NP but I wont get into it.

She told me to continue the Miralax and she gave me Lactulose to try to relieve the constipation.

We scheduled the esophageal dilation which I was expecting although the last one was only in 2013. Then she said, "You know, you haven't had a colonosopy since 2009. Since you are over 50 we should do that too." Oh joy!  We scheduled both at the same time next week.

The procedure is not bad because I'm out cold. But the prep is horrendous. I think they added to the prep since the last time I took it.

Let me say this. No matter how bad the prep is, it is IMPORTANT have one. Yes, it is a pain but it could save your life.

The prep includes: Two days before procedure I eat a soft diet. That night I take 2 Biscodyl tablets which is a laxative that works directly on the colon. 

The next day, which is the day before the procedure, I am on a clear liquid diet. At 2 pm. I take two more Biscodyl tablets. Between 4 pm and 8 pm I have to drink 4 LITERS of cleansing solution. The directions instruct to drink one glass every 10 minutes. 

   

After I drink all of  it I have to take the last two Biscodyl tablets. Then I am to not drink or eat anything past midnight. If I am not cleaned out after all of this is over something is seriously wrong!

The night after I went to the doctor's office I drank the Lactulose. I was a good patient and drank 4 tbsps.  I remember having to take it a very long time ago. It still tastes awful and the texture continues to be viscous. It is a synthetic sugar to treat constipation. I can put in a beverage but I didn't want to ruin it so I sucked it up. I swallowed it straight and washed it down with water. Talk about sweet!! YUCK!

Well, let me tell you. Be careful what you wish for! The next day the toilet was my best friend. I don't know if both the Miralax and Lactulose just kicked in at the same time or what but let me tell you I was cleaned out for sure!

My butt cheeks feel normal again. My appetite is better. Thank God!

Until next time….