Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Falling On My Head Gets Us New Furniture!

Merry Christmas to all! Here's a  recap of my life the past few days.

First and foremost: I have made a page dedicated to my little cousin. Payton who has cancer. It's a page of information where you can find all the ways to help him and his family. There are T-shirts, bracelets and ornaments for sale where the proceeds go to help the family with expenses. I am sure they would appreciate a simple card letting them know you are praying for them if you can't spare money. There are many pictures and updates on his Facebook page. This week, the little guy has been getting his chemo. It is so heartbreaking to see pics showing the effects.




My life has been crazy as usual. Of course, I had to catch a bug everyone has and it takes forever to get rid of. Mine is in form of bronchitis. I am doing better. 

Then night before last I was in Hubby's Papasan chair watching TV. I was in his chair because it is the only chair besides an office chair in that room. The office chair hurts my butt and back. I was moving up from a slouch and flipped out of the chair with the chair landing on top of me. It was like a backwards somersault with my head hitting the desk. Needless to say I saw stars. I think I actually had a slight concussion. A big bump formed on my head. I  felt like a Big Mac truck hit me. I strained my neck, my arms and legs.  Ahh, my life!

Needless to say yesterday we went buy furniture for that room. We bought a reclining loves eat with an end table and a new entertainment center as well as a dresser for me. 

Lately, I've been telling Hubby I was so tired of that entertainment center. Some knobs fell off. There are dents and some of the paneling were falling off. My folks bought it for me and my ex when we bought our first home way in 1990. That entertainment center went everywhere with me and I loved it but it is time to get rid of it. The dresser was actually BabyGirl's but when she moved out she left it so I just used it. But the track is off and there is wear and tear. I'm sure someone could fix it but I think it is time to just replace it. 

We will be putting the Papasan Chair in the living room with my lovely chairs my friend Peggy have given me a while back. The living room is sorta our WII Room and my "women's cave" sorta and the media room is my Hubby's sorta "man cave".

I feel bad putting Hubby's chair out of his man's cave but the room is too small for both the love seat and the chair. After that fall, which was the second in recent months, we had to do something. I was either going to kill myself or give Hubby a heart attack. Besides I have trouble getting in and out of it all the time.  All of our furniture will be delivered Friday!

I want to do a shout out to Kelly Womack at Home Furniture who helped us tremendously.

Even with sickness etc I was finally able to send out Christmas cards the way I wanted to this year! Yippee!!


Friday, November 28, 2014

Payton's Update

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

You know Christmas is coming and it is supposed to be the season of giving. I pray you consider giving to this cause I've been posting about.

I wanted to update on Payton, the little boy in my previous posts who has the Monster C (cancer) that has attacked his eye.

He has had one week of chemotherapy. The side effects are up and down for him but he is a fighter. 


They not only opened up an account to donate $$ for expenses as previously stated, but also you can buy a T-shirt to support the cause at Boosters. All the proceeds go to the family.



If you would like to send gifts, cards etc here is the address you can send them to:


I know I seem to be pushing this a lot on my blog but this is something that has hit my heart. I just want he and his family to get through this with all the help and support they can get.

My cousins and I don't see each other often. We are not close. But on one of the family suppers Payton's family came. He was an rambunctious little boy. He somehow came and sat by me and we had a short chat. It was maybe two minutes. You know how 2 year olds attention span is short. Then when he went to leave, he gave me a hug.  Not all children do that and I guess we had that two minute bond. I'm sure he forgot about me the minute he left. I've always followed Dori and Josh's Facebook. Josh and I have a friendly rivalry during football season. 

That day when I opened my Facebook and saw that post about him having cancer and his family was on their way to St. Jude, my heart stopped. I couldn't believe it. 

So that's my story with Payton and I beg PLEASE show your support in any way you can.

THANK YOU and God Bless!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Update on Payton

I inadvertently failed to tell you what kind of cancer Payton has. Thanks to my BFF Jeff who showed me my err.  

It is called Retinoblastoma which involves the eye. Luckily, if that is what you want to call it, it only affects his right eye. It is a rare form of cancer that mostly affect young children.

After a battery of tests, it is found that the tumor does not involve the nerve that signals to the brain which is a blessing.

This little boy will need chemo to try to save the eye and from what I have read it is going to be a very long first year journey.

The doctors put a line to start the chemo this weekend. He is doing well.

His parents Dorie and Josh also has two other children at home.

They will continue to need prayers, support and help.

Again, if you would like to donate here is the link

Thanks to all of you. Now after you say that prayer, you go and squeeze your little one and thank God.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Monster C Has Attacked My Two-Year Old Cousin

I had a different post for today. Yes, it is true. I've been working on a few posts. Obviously, they are not all finished. I wish I had more motivation concerning my blog.

As I do almost everyday I opened my Facebook Page. Then my heart grew heavy as I read a post. It felt like an elephant sat on my chest.

I hear about this monster every day. I know people who have had it, including my husband. When we met, he had just recovered from it. Luckily it was not metastatic or terminal.

BabyGirl's friend has been battling it for years.

I have some Facebook friends that are survivors.

Many other people battle it. Some are survivors. Others have succumbed to it.

The person who this monster has attacked now is 2 year old Payton who is the son of my cousin Josh and his wife Dorie.

The monster is CANCER.

As I've said, I know people with it but when it hits a child and someone so closely related, it is a whole different story. You feel so much more. It's indescribable.

I cannot even imagine how Dorie and Josh feel. At first, I thought that could be how my Mom felt when she learned I had Cerebral Palsy. But I doubt it. This is much worse.

I ask every one of you to please say a prayer for this family. Please pray to God. Ask him for his grace and to give the parents support and the strength to deal with this monster that have just turned their lives completely upside down.  Please pray for a cure for this little boy, Payton. ANY prayer will be appreciated.

He is in good hands at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis but we need that little extra help.



You can get to know and read the progress of this cute precious little boy here.

There is also a gofundme account opened to help with medical and family travel expenses. If you have a few dollars extra any would be appreciated. You can donate here.

Thank you. God Bless!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

52nd Birthday

I know it is almost a month since my birthday but better late than never.  With the graces of God, I've made it to age 52. I never thought I'd live to be this age but here I am.

I am so blessed. An awesome loving husband, a beautiful daughter I am so proud of, an awesome set of parents who did so much for me and every one who has touched my heart in any way. Yes, that includes you, who is reading this.  

Birthday wishes started a little earlier with my BFF Jeff sending me a singing card a few days before. It was personalized and as awesome as the person who sent it to me. You know I love you Jeff! 

Then a day before my birthday my Aunt Pam sent me a birthday wish. I received some special cards from my friend Peggy and my parents and sister. They were so heartwarming and loving. I appreciated everyone of them.

On the day of my birthday I got so many birthday wishes from my Facebook friends. What amazes me is everyone took a minute from their busy life to send me a Birthday wish. I am so thankful and grateful for each and everyone of them. 

Hubby sent me a cute email card.  We normally don't do gifts because we buy what we want when we want it. Besides, I pretty much get whatever I want!

My daughter called me that morning which I always love to hear her voice. Ahh so sweet a sound it is!

I had an appointment to check my eyes. The results may be in another post. It's not too bad.

Hubby and I came home and started watching Games of Thrones we rented from the library. Great show so far.

Every month, my mom, her sisters and brothers get together at a different restaurant to have sibling time. I think the purpose was to at least be able to see each other once a month with no kids running around. Hubby and I sort of infiltrated that gathering a few years ago. We haven't been kicked out yet so I guess it's okay. Periodically, some of my cousins show up too.  I see it as seeing my aunts and uncles at least once a month. Otherwise, I would hardly see them. We have to travel 45 minutes one way but it is worthwhile.

Anyway, my birthday fell on that day so we made our way. I got a special surprise telephone call from my Godchild, Aaron while we were on the road.

Hubby was driving so I was not talking and driving.

I was so touched. We were able to chat and catch up for a while. I am so happy and proud of him. It made my day so much more special. He probably has no idea how much!

My Mom's little brother (Uncle) Robert, a childhood friend and classmate also share the same birthday. My (Uncle) Robert is a few years younger than I. My childhood friend, Gwen celebrated her birthday in heaven but she is always remembered, missed and loved just the same. And I learned on my birthday a classmate Lonnie also celebrated his on the same day.

For you newbies to this blog I put (Uncle) because although he is my Uncle I never have called him Uncle. I guess its because of the age difference. I remember as young kids he would tell me I had to call him Uncle and I was defiant and refused. I have an (Aunt) Pam as well. Again, I think it was the close age thingie and we were never forced to call them Uncle and Aunt. I do believe I respect them just as much.

Uncle Robert and his wife Michelle, my Aunt Kat and Uncle Sonny, Nanny Liz, (Aunt Pam), my parents, my sister and her hubby with my great niece Lillian, who is so adorable and very well behaved. So pretty much everyone was there except my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Donald because they are going through some trying days. I am keeping them in my prayers. I miss ya'll Aunt Sharon for in case you read this!

My Nanny sneakily told the employees of the restaurant about our birthdays. After our meal some of the employees came and put a sombrero on (Uncle) Robert and I's heads and they sang Happy Birthday. I normally don't like that kind of thing but it was so cute.

(Uncle) Robert's wife started recording it and got me  in my sombrero at the end. However, I can't seem to attach it to blogger. If you go to my Facebook page, you should be able to see it. 

We also got an awesome free dessert although we had to stuff it after the delicious meal.

On our way out, Michelle took pics of (Uncle) Robert and I with Mr. Jalapeño Man. Every time I go there, I tell Hubby I want one. Not sure what I would do with it. He is so adorable. Don't you think?

(Uncle) Robert and I with Mr. Jalapeño Man

(Uncle Robert) picking on me as always but I didn't care I was getting a pic with Jalapeño man



I think we were squishing Mr. Jalapeño Man by the way it looks.

So what more could a 52-year old want for her birthday?

Thanks for reading and if you'd like drop a comment or even email me a comment if you so wish.

Until next time..











Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I'm Struggling to Figure Out What I Want To Do

I am struggling to figure out what God is trying to tell me. I get excited about things then when I look into it, there is always an obstacle or something happens that makes me think is this really for me?

Maybe I don't have as much confidence in myself than I thought.  

Maybe that one thing is really NOT for me. 

I feel like I know what I want to do but I can't seem to get there. 

So glad my mom is not reading this because she would bop me in the head (Not really but you know what I mean) and say something like "can't' is not in your vocabulary.

Here's a brief summary.

I signed up to be a volunteer, went through the background check, referrals and waited for this meeting.  I was expecting to walk out of there knowing exactly what I will be doing and start from there.

However, that was not the case. I sat for two hours listening to the speaker. He did give us guidance and pointers but it wasn't what I expected.

Then he said we had to pray on it for 7-10 days  or however long it takes while reading the booklet that gives details and then if we decide if this is what I want to do, to fill out the application and return it to him. He did say if we had any questions to call for an appointment.

I thought wait a minute, I go through the process of becoming a volunteer and now I need to fill out yet another application for this department. I may or may not be selected. I can take rejection so that isn't the problem. It's just becoming more complicated than I thought.

I totally understand they need to make sure we are capable of doing it. As he went through some of the few details he touched on, I'm like OMG I want to do it but can I do it?

He gave each of us an application for in case we want to do it.  I don't like one of the question because although it is a yes or no question. I need to elaborate on that answer. Maybe it is not a necessity but I feel like I want to defend that answer. But is my defense justifiable?

When I started this process I looked at my options and this option from the start was iffy. However, I've had several people tell me with my experiences of life I would be ideal for this.

I am trying to figure if God is telling me to do this and I am just not listening and it is why I am struggling.

Or Maybe my first instinct was right and I need to sway from that area and move on to another area?



Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Two Little (True) Tales

One of my pet peeves is when an owner of a vehicle double parks or parks lopsided in a parking space, The ones who annoy me the most is the obnoxious owners of the big double cabbed trucks. I feel they think they own the road and parking lots.

I figure if I can park straight, although it takes maneuvering sometimes, with my Cerebral Palsy, everyone else can. 

Okay, I'll drop the Cerebral Palsy card. At least I tried. HA!

The other day I went to Russell's, our little country store. There was a white double-cab Ford truck parked right on the line of two parking spaces. There was another car parked correctly in the other parking space which was a handicapped parking space on the driver''s side of the truck.This happens all the time! So what do I do? 

I parked in between the correctly parked car and driver's side of the truck. I parked so close to the truck that I knew the person wouldn't be able to get in his truck unless he went on the other side. I know it was bi$tchy but what can I say.

My shopping took less than 5 minutes. Yea, that's why I love country stores. Lo and behold, a 60-70ish year old gentleman was puffing a cigarette leaning against his truck waiting on me. I pressed my unlock button on my keychain as I walked to my car. When he heard the beep and saw the light flash, he jumped up and yelled, "You parked too close to my vehicle! I had to wait!"

I thought aww poor baby.

A couple was walking up but stopped to see the altercation. 

Not saying a word I put my bag of items on the hood of my car. Playing dumb I took a step and I leaned over to see the other side of my car.

I then said, "Oh yea, if you had NOT double parked your big-a$$ truck, maybe I would not have parked so close. You need to relearn how to park. That's why there are two line to park between NOT over. Without addressing what I said, he angrily demanded that I get in my car and move.

That was not a good move on his part. If he had asked slightly nicer I would have hurried. But he didn't. So I moved as slow as a turtle.

I very slowly got in my car playing like I was having troubles Got in. Put my purchase on the floor of. Checked my mirrors that were just fine. Strapped the seatbelt like an 100-year old.  Checked my hair in the mirror (I never do that). 

I glanced around. The man standing straight up with his hands on his hips watching me.  I know he wanted to come strangle me. If eyes could kill, I would be dead.

The couple that was watching was moving along slowly but caught my eye. We smiled at each other and they gave me a thumbs up. I thumbed back. I then slowly  put my moon roof down. Slowly. Played with the radio, started my car and finally started to back up like a snail. It took me about 2 minutes when normally it would have taken me 30 seconds. I could tell he was fuming. I saw his mouth going 100 mph as I drove off. 

The next story is about Hubby and I. MyHubby calls me every day when he gets off of work to let me know he's on his way and to make sure I don't need anything. My phone is usually nearby and I answer promptly. 

The time he usually calls passed. I thought nothing about it because sometimes he works a little later or if he has to do an errand he'll do the errand than call me. He had mentioned the previous day he might do something.

About 1-1/2 hours later he walks in and sees me sitting in my chair. I could hear some panic and tinge of anger in his voice. He asked why I didn't answer my phone. I responded that my phone never rang.

I looked at my phone and I saw it was on silent. I had forgotten to change my ring after our ASL class the previous night. OOPS! He had called me 5 times. He said when I didn't answer the first time, he figured I was in the bathroom or didn't get to it in time as it does happen. However, I usually call him back right away. I didn't. He waited a few minutes and called again. No answer.

So he drove to Wallyworld because we needed a few things. He called me when he got there but I still didn't answer. He said he thought twice about going into Wallyworld and instead just head home. 

But we needed some things so he went into Wallyworld.  He called me again to confirm some things on the list. Sometimes I put abbreviations he doesn't understand. He was also hoping I'd answer. But I didn't. 

He then started to really worry. He hurriedly got the groceries and when he got into his car, he tried again with still no answer. He said by then he had started to think the worse and wondered how he would find me.

Did I fall and he would see me bleeding? 

Was I deathly ill in bed?  It has happened when I was sick and my blood sugar was very low and he ended up bringing me to the ER.

He was very worried and kept thinking what he could find. My poor Hubby!

When he returned home and saw me perfectly fine he was relieved. MyHubby doesn't show worry much but this time I could tell in his voice he was. I apologized and he took a deep breath hugging me telling me to NEVER do that to him again. Throughout the evening he repeated for me not to do that again and I scared him bad!

I felt so bad the whole night. But thankfully, everything was fine.


Thursday, September 25, 2014

What I've Been Up to

Maybe some of you have been wondering where I have been. Actually, I know some of you are. I've received a few emails asking so I thought I would update.

I finally have my fungal foot problem controlled. It is not healed. It will take time, at least a year but I see signs of health and no more crazy symptoms that nearly drove me insane. 

I had mentioned that I wanted to do some volunteering. I have gone through the general training program for Hospice.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I learned so much and there is so much more to learn. Everyone was so nice and helpful.

I had to take a Tb which was negative and now I'm waiting for my background check to come back.  After that I'll be ready to volunteer my services.

As I was listening to the different ways to volunteer I thought I could do this or that. My nursing urge kicked in big time. I just want to jump in and do it all! However, I know as I explore I'll find my niche!

It was amazing how many others wanted to be a volunteer. We were from many different areas. That's good because the Volunteer Coordinator, Mrs Ann tries her best to match the volunteer with a client that is in our parish, (Or county, as most of you say) if we decide to volunteer our services in that way. 

I met Mrs. Ann when I went apply a few months earlier. She is the most genuine nicest person I have ever met. Seriously!!!

I also signed up for ASL (American Sign Language). Actually about six months ago, I contacted the local Diocese who offers the class.  MyHubby decided to join me. I am excited he decided to join me.

We started last week. It is fun and I think it will be challenging for the next few weeks. It's a six or eight week class.  I know the basics for the most part such as the ABC's. Our teacher, Ms Katie showed me the proper way to do some signs as I've become sloppy throughout the years.

It is difficult for me to do some signs because of my spasticity of my hands. However, I am getting it for the most part. It was reassuring when some classmates had trouble doing some signs as well and they don't have Cerebral Palsy.  

I am not sure what I want to do with the ASL knowledge. I've always wanted to do some interpreting for the deaf but this course is just the beginning. I would have to get certified and that's a long road ahead and more extensive learning. We will see.

This weekend at our Mass, they announced that our church is trying to start a Come Lord Jesus program which I'm interested in. Not sure if I will join but will attend the first meeting for more information tonight.

There it is. That's what I have been up too.  Thanks for those who inquired about what I've been doing.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

My BabyGirl is 22 Today!

Having children is such a blessing.

I remember the day BabyGirl came into the world. It was 22 years ago on this date at 4:04 AM. After a bit coaxing, she let out a screeching cry, seemingly angry that she had to come out of her bubble.

I counted her toes and fingers. I touched her baby soft skin. I rolled my fingers through her fine hair as little as she had.

Tears of happiness flowed. I realized at that very moment my life would never be the same. The bundle of joy in my arms was all mine. (Yea, her Father's too). This little human being was going to be dependent on me for the first several years of her life.

How scary that was!


I thanked God and then asked him to help me raise this beautiful child to be successful and live life to the fullest. I knew it would have its challenges and maybe more so because of my disability.


She was special. She sensed her mommy was different. She and I together learned to improvise.

She became the sole reason that I kept fighting illnesses and kept me wanting to live. My world surrounded her entirely. She was my rock.

Before she became too heavy for me to bend down and pick her up, she learned to climb my leg so it was easier for me. I think it was instinct.

As she got older, she attempted to use my disability to her advantage a few times. When she was in the terrible twos, she would run away from me when she knew a slap on the butt was coming for doing something wrong. I always got her one way or another. But it was obvious she forgot at that moment as she was running.

But when we were in public, I had rules. She was always to hold my hand the moment I took her out of the car seat. If I was doing something in the car or had to do something with my hands, she was to hold my leg or jacket. There were no ifs, ands or buts. I have to admit, she obeyed very well.

Like any child, she tested my limits. Once, at a post office I had put her down and she just took off running. It was one of the scariest moments she gave me. Thankfully, an elderly man stopped her and told her to wait. Still on adrenalin, when I got a hold of her I shook her a few times and yelled at her. I saw eyes on us as people walked by. I'm sure they thought I was a crazy woman. After I shook my fear and anguish from her I grabbed her and hugged her and asked her not to do that again. This happened in a matter of less than 30 seconds but it seemed eternity.  She never did it again.

During her school years, she was smart and did her schoolwork without any argument. I remember during the summer months, other parents couldn't wait for school to start so their bratty kids would be out of the house. I never thought that way. I was busier in the summer chauffeuring her to summer programs she wanted to do plus karate but was sad I wouldn't have those extra hours with her. She was in T-Ball, Softball, Dancing and Karate. She did well in everything she put her mind too.


Karate was her passion. She was excellent at it earning her Black Belt and teaching the younger kids for a while.

She went through so many different phases I  nearly got whip lashed. I earned a few grey hairs, that she really wants to pull but it is my trophy for getting through it. MyMom would encourage me and tell me that she was just trying to figure out who she was. She was right.

When she became of age, she left home. She wanted that independence of everyone. I have to say I cried at night sometimes with worry. I prayed so hard to keep her safe.

She has supported herself with part-time jobs and going to college full time which she graduated.

She's had so many bumps in the road I sometimes wondered how she would get through it.

I remember everything we've been through together and what she has been through alone. She is so very strong and meets her challenges head-on and gets through every one of them.

We are as tight as we were when she was younger. We had a rough period but came out of it stronger than ever. We love and appreciate each other even more.

She has grown to be a beautiful young independent lady. I can't voice the words to describe how proud I am of her and how deep my love runs for her. She is the light of my soul and always keeper of my heart.




Happy 22nd Birthday BabyGirl! I wish you to have many more with happiness! Always remember to be who you are. You are so unique and there is only one of you. Stay the loving, quirky and compassionate person you are.










Saturday, August 16, 2014

Cerebral Palsy: Muscle Cramps

Cerebral Palsy brings on many effects to the body. Muscle cramps are one. As a child I would get them often. They were mostly in my legs, specifically my calves, and in my hands. Most of the time it is only one limb.

I remember my Mom laying me on the white deep chest freezer moving my limbs doing various exercises at least three times a day to try to prevent the cramps. It was to loosened and stretch my muscles. 

I hated that freezer. But thankful Mom didn't let my tears get to her.  

I remember when the cramps would occur in my legs, she would put me on the freezer or lay me down wherever we were and move my limbs and massage the area as I cried and wished it to go away.

When they occurred in my hands my fingers became stiff. I constantly had a squishy ball in my hands when I was in the house to squeeze to strengthen and loosen my hand muscles. I didn't understand then why and I hated the ball and probably Mom for nagging for me to squeeze the ball. Again, I am now thankful.

As I have grown older the cramps have lessened but they still occur and probably will until the day I die. However, they now occur in the weirdest places of my limbs sometimes.

Some are in my toes. Mind you I can't move my toes, individually. When I try to move my toes my whole foot moves. But when a cramp occurs, my toes move into a scissor-like position. I have to manually move my toes back in place and massage the soles and roll my feet to work the cramp out.

I continue to have them in my calves, especially when I walk a lot during the day but they often occur  seemingly for no reason at all. When I get them I usually have to walk them out, and they are usually at night when I am about to fall asleep or while watching TV. I sometimes have to pace the floor as long as an hour before my muscles finally relax. 

It's a pain in more ways than one.  Sleepy and tired and have to pace in the dark while I listen to Hubby sleeping. But I deal with it.

Then there the cramps I absolutely hate the most. Even as a grown woman, it can bring tears to my eyes. Those are in the arch of my foot. Walking them out does not work. Actually, walking causes the cramp to spread up my leg or intensifies.It feels like my little bones are knotting up. Note: I said bones not muscles. They almost always wake me up at night, like last night. I just manually roll my feet and manipulate it until it finally dissipates or sometimes I work it to get a point that it is not as bad to lay down and fall asleep. They seem to take the longest to work out.

At one point in my adulthood, they would occur at the most inopportune time. I know. There is no convenient time to have a cramp. But in midst of intimacy with my then-husband, the cramps would appear and certainly 'kill the mood."  It was frustrating for me not to mention painful. I finally got the courage to talk my doctor about it. He put me on a very low dose of Xanax every night. Since that day years ago cramps no longer 'kill the mood'. Sometimes I feel my muscle start to knot but I've learned to deal with it and work it through as they are not as intense. I don't have to push my Hubby off like a craze woman anymore.

Cramps have been and always will be a part of my life. I do stretch exercises. All my electrolytes are fine. I just accept it is part of Cerebral Palsy and thankful it is not worse.











Wednesday, August 13, 2014

CVS and I at a Possibly Good Place Now

Every month I go to CVS to pick up my medications around the same date. 

For about six months every time I went it was always something. One of my meds had to be ordered but I received the message that my order was ready so when I went to pick them up, I was understandably irritated when I was told I would have to go back the next day to pick up that one.

There was a pharmacy crew that was loud, obnoxious talking among each other making their customers wait. Sometimes I would walk to the counter or drive up to the window and it took them forever to even acknowledge me. I timed it once and it was 10 minutes before I was even acknowledged and there was only 1 other customer.

A few times my family doctor would send a prescription 'electronically' and when I would get there 1/2 hour to an hour later I had to wait. 

Or sometimes the pharmacy would say they did not get the prescription yet but when I called the doctor's office they said they had sent it.

Sometimes my doctor would give me the prescription and when I went to fill it, they would ask me what time I would pick it up. Duh! Why do I have to come back to get my meds?Whatever happened to pharmacies filling prescriptions right then and there? I would have to wait for 1/2 hour-45 minutes after explaining to them that I lived 20 miles away and really didn't want to come back.

I would fill out the survey with my complaints. Nothing changed except a while later I noticed a few of the obnoxious employees gone.

A few weeks ago the crap hit the fan but it changed everything.

I went to my dermatologist and she said they would send the prescription electronically. It happened again, CVS said they hadn't received it yet. So it was merry go round again. A day later I got my medicine.

A week later my dermatologist had to change my meds so they said they would send it electronically. I waited an hour and called CVS. They said they didn't receive it yet. I called the dermatologist and the nurse said she had sent it.

I called CVS back and told them what the nurse said. The pharmacist assistant said, "Well we didn't get it. Give it more time." I thought a fax was supposed to be fast?

I was miserable and aggravated and needed the medicine. I waited for a few more hours, checking my CVS account online. Still no new prescription. I called the pharmacy again and she said they didn't receive it but she would call the office itself and see what was going on. I called the dermatologist and the nurse insisted she had sent it. I told her the pharmacy was going to call them.

Situations like that you really don't know who to believe. However, considering the history with CVS I sided with the doctor's office.

I waited for 2 hours and no response.

I decided to take a step to higher authority. I called the store's manager.  I let loose all the aggravation of all the other months' in addition to the present one. I told him I was at the verge of taking all my prescriptions letting him know it would be a monthly $1000+ out of his store and I would never recommend this pharmacy again.  He told me he would look into it and call me back.

However, a half hour later the PHARMACY manager called me back and angrily exclaimed, "YOU did not have to call the manager, I told you I would call the doctor's office!" Obviously, the store's manager got on her case. 

I retorted, "It was two hours ago and I'm still waiting." We bantered back and forth. I told her I couldn't believe she was doing this as a professional. I reiterated what I told her manager and all the previous problems.

She then said, "Well for your information, I talked to the nurse and she couldn't tell me what time she sent it because there was no time on the fax. So YOU are blaming the wrong people." I conceded that may be true but asked what did she suggest I do since I've been going in a circle with them and the doctor's office."

Never answering the question, changing her tone to defeat she said, "Anyway, I did get the prescription  and you can come get it in 20 minutes.

When I got there, I could tell there was tension but I was polite and thankful.

After that when I reorder my medicine they call me and tell me if one of my meds has a delay.
When I go pick up my meds, they are on the ball.

A month later when I went to follow-up with my dermatologist I gave her the scenario of the problem with the electronically prescription. I told her I would so rather her to just give me the prescription on the paper. She said it was not their protocol, all prescriptions have to go electronically. She also confessed they were having a problem with the fax at that time and it was probably their fault and apologized. But she offered to give me a copy of the prescription so if this happens again I'll have that to show them. 

She told me they would send the prescription since we were changing one. I thought here we go again. 

But get this! Before I got out of the parking lot, I received an automated phone call from CVS saying that my prescription was ready. Now that was fast! When I picked them up, they were ready and was given to me with a smile.

I don't know what happened behind the scenes but every time I reorder my meds online and they see it may take a day longer for one they immediately let me know. When they see me, they smile and are attentive.

At times I feel like a bitch or complainer but then why does it take an act of Congress to do something so simple. I know some people think I am a bitch or demanding.  Maybe I am sometimes. However, I always remember my dad telling me I will need to stand up for myself, speak up when I think something is not right and never let anyone walk all over me. 

At least I seemed to have learned at least one thing he has taught me.

One more little story for those who are not on Facebook.

Yesterday, I went to Murphy USA to get gas. As many times before the receipt did not print. I wonder why it is called "Pay at the Pump" when  you have to go and get the receipt.

Anyway, I politely and cheerfully requested my receipt and hinted the pump must be out of paper. The clerk sarcastically said, "No it is NOT out of paper, it is probably jammed!'

My instantaneous comeback was "Then unjam it."

She paused, stunned. Then gave me my receipt and I went along my merry way. I was so proud of myself for coming up with such a quick answer and stunned her to silence. One of my former coworkers and friend commented.: remember well little LISA and her temper. You're like a RATTLE SNAKE, ZAP, STRIKE, AND YOUR VICTIM IS STUNNED AND DONE. THE LOOK ON PEOPLES FACES, NOT EXPECTING IT. LMAO

Yep, don't mess with me! HA!





Thursday, July 31, 2014

Diagnosis of Rash

I have been having this awful  rash on my right foot. It started in November. I went to the doctor and he gave me medicine (cream and pills) stabilizing it for a while but it seemed like it just cycled back to the beginning.

It started with red bumps on the soles of my feet that itched so bad it nearly drove me insane for a few days. The itching was so bad it made me nauseous. Then it turned brown and became very tender. It was hard to walk as when my foot came into contact with anything it hurt It felt like walking on a lily pad of needles. Whether it was water or the floor or my socks, I had intense pain and itching. After several days it started to peel. It was like a whole new layer of skin but scaly. While I watched TV , I peeled the skin. It was absolutely gross but it helped the itching. Then it seemed like it would start all over again. I was miserable. Sometimes the itching was so bad I was nauseous and I wanted to just scratch my skin off!

However, a few bumps started on my arm and hands. I had enough! I called a dermatologist. A month later when she looked at my foot she exclaimed, "Oh sweetheart! You have a bacterial infection and I think fungal infection. I am going to do a biopsy for a culture."

I gasped, "A biopsy?" She emphasized we needed to find out what this was because it was very bad. She did the biopsy right then and there. All I felt was a sting when she inserted the needle to administer the local anesthetic.

She informed me this will take a while to heal but she was confident that we could beat this.  She sent me home with samples of a cream, a strong antibiotic and oral Lamisil, an anti fungal. This medicine regimen will be a 6 month journey! The Lamisil I take once a day for two months straight then for the last four months I take it for only a week per month.

The next day this rash spread to my other foot and hands. I thought I would go insane. (Okay, no wisecracks here!)

I developed nausea and my GERD flared. But changing the time I took the Lamisil and a little baking soda water has kept it sort of stable.

A week later the nurse called me to inform me the culture indicated I had ID reaction and a severe infection. She changed that one cream to two creams, one for weekends and one for weekdays and continued my other meds.

During follow-up one week after the phone call, we were happy it was better with less itching and looking a little better but still a ways to go. She told me she still wanted me on an antibiotic so she gave me a less potent antibiotic that I actually never heard of and continued my other treatments.

I expressed how I felt about the rash on my hand was making me feel like a leper.

I have lived with a physical disability but this extra medical malady has really worked on my self-consciousness. I don't want to shake any one's hands. I don't want to give money to a cashier. I don't want to go to Communion. I don't feel comfortable cooking or even touching MyHubby.

She offhandedly said the "light box' could help with the scaling skin but it would have to be 2-3 times a week and she knew I lived out of town. She also mentioned at a later date that maybe we can do a patch allergy test because she believes I am using something or touching something that I am allergic too that is causing this.

The only type of light therapy I heard of was used for sleep disorders and seasonal affect disorder.

I asked her about the light box and she explained it to me more thoroughly. It could help with the scaling of my hands and feet but it is not necessary. I told her I didn't mind going twice a week if she thought it would help. She said it would probably only be a month but she thinks it'll get things moving along a bit faster.

I walked away with a prescription for a different antibiotic and an appointment to start my light box treatment Monday. I am to continue the creams and other meds.

Another tidbit I learned from this was wearing colored socks aggravated conditions like I have. The best socks for everyone to wear is white cotton socks.

That's where I am with this condition. It's always something. I am amazed my little body has endured so much and still functioning. Thank you God :).


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My Feet Failed My Body Once Again..

It is such a frustrating and scary feeling when I am walking and then all of a sudden my feet are abruptly no longer supporting my body. I am falling. 

Like a hundred times I was returning from doing a few errands with a purse and small receipt in one hand and a light grocery bag in the other. I had just closed the door of Cora (my car) and was walking on the grating to my home. My Loving Husband had laid down the grating to make it easier for me to walk until we get more money to lay concrete and build driveway/patio/porch.

I fell. It could have been face first but with my history of falling, I now have the instinct to try to maneuver where and how I am going to fall in a split second. I can't honestly say which body part hit first. I am going to guess my knees because they had more damage. Then my torso, hands and cheek, in that order.

As I laid on the ground, the first thing I did was look around embarrassed to make sure no one saw me. I know. Weird. But every time I fall I don't want anyone panicking and rushing to help me.

When I saw the coast was clear I tried moving my body parts to make sure everything worked. When I tried moving my foot, I couldn't move it. It was stuck in the grating. I have no clue how that happened. The grating has small holes. Although my feet are small they are bigger than the holes.

Next thing I did was case my immediately surroundings to find something I could grab to help pull myself up.

I was right smack in the middle of my car and the steps. I thought in PG form, 'I'm screwed."  I saw my glasses, receipt, purse and grocery bag scattered.

I tried turning over to maneuver my foot out of the grating when I realized the other shoe had fallen off. Okay! It must have flown off as it was about 2 feet away.

I knew MyHubby was inside the house but he had said he was going to bed as he worked nights. I did not want to wake him. Besides I knew I could get myself out of this embarrassing and frustrating situation

I carefully worked my body into the sitting position. I yanked my foot out of the shoe then worked the shoe out of the hole thinking how do I get myself into these situations?!

I assessed my injuries and found only skinned knees. I knew I would feel more later.

I picked up everything then slowly crawled to the steps. This took about 5 minutes because of my skinned knees. 

I finally made it to the steps and pulled myself up and went into the house.

Lo and behold! MyHubby was still awake! I told him I thought about calling him on the cell phone but didn't want to wake him. He commented that he put the grating down to make it easier for me.

I concurred but what can I say? I know I worry him when I fall. If I could stop from falling I surely would. It's my life. Luckily, I don't do it as often. I usually catch my balance but the odds go against me when my hands are not free.

Later that night and the next morning I felt the rest of the injuries. Pulled arm muscles, bruised ribs and  I felt like a BIG MAC truck hit me. There was a bruise the size of a ping pong on my right hip and forearm.

I am happy to say I am fine now. Bruises are gone and I'm moving like my old self again. Oh and my pride is back intact.




Tuesday, July 29, 2014

12 Year Old Black Boy Makes My Day

I have so much going on that I have failed to blog about all my events. Something happened to me today just made my day.

I drove to the little country store in my country-hick town. It's the only grocery store nearby. I go there often to buy items in between our big monthly Walmart shopping. The employees are awesome and everywhere you turn one says hello and how are you.

As I was looking for the aisle I needed I saw this group of 5 black young boys. The oldest who seemed to be doing the shopping was about 16-17 years old. The others seemed to be between the ages of 5-12. The two youngest ones was rambunctious running and jumping around the area.

We incidentally ended up on the same aisle. I was searching for what I needed and at the same time keeping an eye on the little kids because even if they just pass by me I can lose my balance and either fall or knock down a display. Both has happened to me before.

I noticed the 12 year old intently watching me. I turned my head and our eyes met. He smiled and said, "Hello Ma'am!" I said, "Hello." 

He corralled the other two so I could pass. I thanked him. Politely, he told me "your welcome."

We both had smiles during our exchange.

After I checked out I was grabbing my bags and the same 12-year old came out of nowhere and asked if I needed help. After a glance of my surroundings I noticed the others were checking out.

I told him it was okay, I had this. I then told him how sweet it was for him to ask and thanked him and told him to have a blessed day. He reciprocated.

I don't know why this affected me so much but it just reconfirms to me that not ALL kids are bad. There are plenty who are well-mannered, polite and willing to help.

It seems like I have seen him before but can not place him.

Of course, after I got home I started thinking. I didn't have any cash on me but if I had I could have bought him a little something or given him money. 

I hate when I think of things I could have done after the fact.

I hope this boy has an inkling how much I appreciated his offer. He just warmed my heart. God Bless Him

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Tentative Decision on Volunteering.

After writing about wanting to find somewheres where I can volunteer. BabyGirl's friend had posted on Facebook that June was not her month. I felt like God was sending me a sign so I set up a fundraiser here. You can also find the widget on my home page of this blog. I am begging you, if you have a spare dollar, it would be so appreciated if you would donate.

That same day I reread the blog post and prayed. I thanked him for giving me the direction with Victoria. 

I also talked to my mom. I told her my inner conflicts.  She told me what she was doing for her Hospice client and explained to me what Hospice duties a volunteer can do. She suggested since I was unsure I should write or call the Volunteer Coordinator.

So I emailed the Coordinator, summarized what I was thinking and what led me to the organization.

She told me I sounded so sweet like my Mom. She suggested I go there and talk with her. So I did a few days later.

I talked candidly to her about my reservations working with the patients directly. 

Although I know Cancer is not contagious, family members around could be ill and I have a low immune system.

I've worked with the elderly and tend to get attached to them. When they die I take it hard sometimes.

I want to volunteer but I don't want to 7 days a week.

I told her about my near death experiences although she knew some of it from my mom.

She explained the things a volunteer can do. There were many I could be interested in.

So I filled completed the paper work. They have to do a criminal background check etc. In September I go to the training class. 

After talking to the sweet volunteer coordinator and with three individuals telling me I could help with Hospice, I think God is helping me along the way.

I think it is closest to nursing that I'll get.

I am researching on the burial idea. It will definitely be complicated but have not made a definitive decision yet.

Do you know anyone who worked at Hospice or was a client?


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Infected Foot Biopsied

I finally had a visit with a dermatologist for my foot. The problem is described in an earlier post. I've been struggling with it for 9 months. I went to my family doctor twice for it and got two different diagnoses and treatments. The treatments made it a little better but it kept recurring.

Recently, my foot has been so bad that when I put socks on, my skin sticks to it and it just pulls the skin off. I can hardly hobble on the other foot because that foot is also starting to have the rash. 

When Dr M., my dermatologist came in, she looked at my foot and exclaimed, "Oh baby, your foot is severely infected!"

Shocked, I asked, "What?!"

She repeated it was severely infected and we needed to find the cause. She turned and started rambling to her nurse. 

Then she turned to me and asked me how long I've had this. I told her about 9 months but it wasn't this bad the whole time.

She said she needed to biopsy it and do a culture on it.

Whoa! Wait a minute! Did she say biopsy? I thought okay I'm going to have to come back.

I asked when. She said, "Now." 

I watched the nurse filling a syringe with a big needle. I am not afraid of needles but it was just freaking me out a little. 

I asked her how was she going to do the biopsy now? 

She said she would inject my foot to numb it and get a sample. When she put the light over my foot, she said it was flowing pus.

I know! EWWWWWWWWW! It grossed me out.

Pus? I knew it was drainage but it never dawned on me that it was pus.

All I felt was the sting of the medicine injecting into my foot. In less than a minute, they were finished.

She put me on antibiotics and gave me a different cream.

When I asked for her educated guess what this could be she said she didn't know but maybe psoriasis or fungal infection. She promised that she will find out the origin of the problem and make it healthy.

She put a band aid on the biopsy site. The next day the pain was excruciating.  It's sorta like I am stomping on nails. Sometimes I just want to cry.

Walking on it is just almost impossible. I have ruined so many socks with the drainage and then peeling off the skin as well. I have tried gauze and that sticks too.

I have come up with a solution. It is weird. I have feminine pads, I don't know why. I found them in the back of my cabinet. I have the maxi pads with the wings and pantyliners. I took the maxi pad and cut in half. Then I put them together taping it to my soles of my feet for the night. During the day I have the pantyliner taped to my foot It slides off and I have to retape it, maybe I need new tape.  But I figure it protects my foot from the ground and keeps the cream on. I don't plan on going anywhere for the next few days so I don't have to wear shoes.

There is never a dull moment in my life medically for sure.


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Give Forward: A Request

I am so excited. God answered my prayers. He has given me direction.

After writing my last post I went to Facebook. A friend of my daughter's wrote on Facebook that June was not her month. She is 21 years old and her cancer has returned. This child has been through the ringer since she was 14.

I remember her coming over to my hime with my daughter.  One day she was limping. I asked her what was wrong and she didn't know. Her mom brought her to the doctor and she had Osteosarcoma of the tibia.

Osteosarcoma is cancer of the bone. Through the 7 years it has metastasized to her lungs, abdomen and other areas. She has been through a lot of chemo, and surgeries.

She is a fighter.

Even with her world upside down she focused on her education and graduated on time. She has had it rough.

She had a job and a boyfriend who cares for her deeply. She was in remission for a bit but last month it has returned.

She was working her father.  Since the cancer has come back she and her boyfriend has had to miss work to bring her to treatments. Her father fired both of them. In my opinion, it is cold-hearted.

Since she has no income she needs a little help for daily living and gas to go to treatments. I have started a fundraiser at Giveforward.com. If you have heart and a few dollars for donation, you can give it here.

Even if you can't donate I would appreciate it if you shared this story to everyone and ask them to donate, whether it be $1, $5 or whatever. Anything will be appreciated.

God Bless!

Monday, July 7, 2014

What is my Volunteer Vocation?

Lately, I have been having this feeling of unworthiness. Through the years I've missed my nursing but more so recently. I thought about volunteering at a nursing home but there could be sickness that my immune system won't be able to fight. The very reason why my doctor put me on disability.

A few years ago I had tried to be a Big Sister but it is not working out. There are few Little Sisters that need help or they are not a good match for me. Although no one said it I know it is harder to match me since I have a physical handicap and mothers are not comfortable with that fact. And that is fine. I am very protective of my own!

I've been researching volunteer websites and praying on it.

When I went to arrange my pre-burial and found out about what happens when a family member cannot afford to bury them or they have no one it has weighed on my heart. I know the church may bury these people and other organizations may step in but I feel something more can be done.

I started researching about indigent burials etc and an idea formed.

What if I could come up with some kind of organization that I can find businesses and people to donate to?I could put my name at all the funeral homes and when God took someone whose families couldn't pay or they were alone they could contact me and then I could help and arrange to pay for their funeral.

I found this site GiveForward. However as I asked questions I realized it wasn't what I was trying to do. It was more for a specific person or cause. My cause is more broader.

I did not know where to start.  My retreat was coming up so I decided to wait and talk to the Priest, Father Neyrey. I prayed that he could give me direction.

God answered my prayer. Father Neyrey was wonderful as always. Some friends told me it was a huge undertaking. Father agreed. However, he gave me some sound suggestions and taught me a few things

He also encouraged me to stay with the idea but reminded me of some things.

First, it doesn't matter what you are buried in as the body will turn into ashes and your soul will leave it. 

Second, anyone can do a eulogy at a grave site and it doesn't necessarily need a service. He even said if I felt so strongly about a person having to have that 'blessing' I could even go to the funeral site and pray for the soul.

He praised me saying I have such a comforting feeling of death that few people have. He believes God is calling me to do something pertaining to death. He delicately warned me I may not be able to help everyone and suggested I start by concentrating on a smaller scale like one poorer parish. 

He discouraged me going to a Funeral Director because he said their business is to get money. He related some history of how eons ago, people were just buried in the ground, with no casket. In certain terms, he implied funeral homes were not necessary.  

He saw my genuine concern and my mind blocking the idea of just burying someone in a hole.So he instructed me to do research on what is required for a casket/urn, talk to the parish director and go from there. He also noted that I won't be able to do everything myself. He gave me some ideas like maybe contact a building contractor who may volunteer to build a casket, a couple of times a year. 

Father told me I need to listen to God. He thought it was a good idea and encouraged me to keep at it but also forewarned that this may be a long process. This burial idea may just be a beginning of something different God has for me. It may not even be what I am thinking. However. I have such a positive outlook on death because of my experiences, I should also consider volunteering for Hospice in addition to or in place of this burial idea. Either way it is an act of mercy. 

Father certainly gave me a lot to think about.

I also had the chance to speak with the two directors at the retreat. I was able to relate to a lot of things they said. I decided to go and at least thank them for sharing their stories and letting them know they spoke to me. 

One was a nurse like I was. We worked the same length of time except she was in Pediatrics and I was in Geriatrics. We related to each other so well.

Both of the directors dealt with cancer themselves or a family member. They faced death like I did. And they both independently, not knowing what Father or the other claimed I would be a good candidate for Hospice.

I went to the chapel and asked God if he was talking to me through them. He is still working not the answer and I'm striving to listen and move along on faith that I am going the direction God is pointing.

I had considered Hospice on occasion. My mom is a Hospice Volunteer and she enjoys it. 

However, I am hesitant. I worked with dying people. I felt so much compassion and I loved these people. However, I get attached to patients. It gets hard to watch them die or they just die suddenly. 

I guess working in a Nursing home is similar to Hospice. Taking care of patients and they do eventually die in the Nursing home. It is a shorter time dealing with Hospice patients.

I will have to deal with death regardless if I volunteer for Hospice or otherwise.

I am still researching the burial idea and am in progress to see if Hospice is for me.

Have you done any volunteer work?  I would love to hear your experience.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

RETURNING FROM RETREAT

I spent the first part of my week at a retreat.  It was held at the lovely Our Lady of the Oaks Retreat House in Grand Coteau, just a couple of miles from my abode.

The retreat is a silent retreat which means you cannot talk so you can listen to Jesus' spirit talk and reflect. It's easier than one may think. It is nice not to have the pressure of having to make conversation.

I feel the need to reconnect to God sometimes. The retreat allows me to do just that.

The retreat is given by Jesuit Priests and well-trained laypeople called Retreat Directors. It is based on the teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola. There are conferences with a time of reflection after each.

The grounds are so beautiful with the huge oak trees, flowers and plants the retreatant can explore at any time. Every time I walk around I always find something new. I enjoy just sitting either in the green rickety rocker near my room or in the middle of the courtyard and watch the squirrels. They are some amazing creatures.

There are plenty of benches, chairs, rockers throughout the grounds to sit and enjoy the quietness.The retreatant can visit the beautiful quaint Chapel or large library where you can either read or buy books at any time. There is also voluntary face to face chats with the Directors or Priests.

Although the conferences are based on Catholicism, any religion is welcomed.

Reconciliation, saying the rosary, Anointing of the Sick and Mass are also included.

Once you enter the gates, you don't have to worry about anything.
Bells are rung to wake you up and before each activity.

Food is prepared by 4 lovely cooks. The head of the kitchen is Ms. Maria who has worked there for almost 48 years. The food is freshly prepared and delicious. There are also fruit, cookies and drinks that are available at any time.

I remember years ago my Mom had finally persuaded my sister and I to go with her. Through the years I went several times on occasion. For the past 3-4 years I've been going at least once a year in addition to Hubby and I going to the Married Couple's Retreat.

It is like a mini vacation from the world. I would recommend anyone to go. I am sure a retreat can be found near where you live.

More on what I learned later.

God Bless.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

BabyGirl's New Wheels

Coincidentally, at the same time I was buying Cora, BabyGirl was buying her car.

She called me the night Hubby and I were sleeping on our decision to buy Cora. She was so excited because for the past few weeks she was out of a car because her car she was in had problems. She had put a lot of money into it and the mechanic told her this time it was time to get a new car.

Her boyfriend and she decided to get a new one and he helped her buying it.

She was so excited. I was more excited for her than I was for me.  It was her very first new car.

Layla's boyfriend and her step-brother-in-law got her a good deal on a 2014 Kia Yaris. It's name is Pearl.

About two days later, she called me and said, "I just can't have nice things" Her voice wavered. I knew something was wrong.

She was on stopped a busy street in the turning lane when a man rear-ended her. She said she saw him swerving attempting to avoid her but he failed. He claims he had been having trouble with his brakes and he couldn't stop.

My heart hurts for her. Unfortunately, it wasn't total so she has to get it fixed. It'll take about two weeks for have it repaired. She is using her boyfriend's family member's car in the meantime.

Someone told me she was the fourth person she knew who got in a wreck with a brand new car.

I was furious. If this fool would have taken care of his brakes this may not have happened.

Yes, it's only a car and thankfully, no one was hurt but it could have totally avoided because of a person's negligence.

Share your story about an automobile accident because of an irresponsible person.


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