Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My Feet Failed My Body Once Again..

It is such a frustrating and scary feeling when I am walking and then all of a sudden my feet are abruptly no longer supporting my body. I am falling. 

Like a hundred times I was returning from doing a few errands with a purse and small receipt in one hand and a light grocery bag in the other. I had just closed the door of Cora (my car) and was walking on the grating to my home. My Loving Husband had laid down the grating to make it easier for me to walk until we get more money to lay concrete and build driveway/patio/porch.

I fell. It could have been face first but with my history of falling, I now have the instinct to try to maneuver where and how I am going to fall in a split second. I can't honestly say which body part hit first. I am going to guess my knees because they had more damage. Then my torso, hands and cheek, in that order.

As I laid on the ground, the first thing I did was look around embarrassed to make sure no one saw me. I know. Weird. But every time I fall I don't want anyone panicking and rushing to help me.

When I saw the coast was clear I tried moving my body parts to make sure everything worked. When I tried moving my foot, I couldn't move it. It was stuck in the grating. I have no clue how that happened. The grating has small holes. Although my feet are small they are bigger than the holes.

Next thing I did was case my immediately surroundings to find something I could grab to help pull myself up.

I was right smack in the middle of my car and the steps. I thought in PG form, 'I'm screwed."  I saw my glasses, receipt, purse and grocery bag scattered.

I tried turning over to maneuver my foot out of the grating when I realized the other shoe had fallen off. Okay! It must have flown off as it was about 2 feet away.

I knew MyHubby was inside the house but he had said he was going to bed as he worked nights. I did not want to wake him. Besides I knew I could get myself out of this embarrassing and frustrating situation

I carefully worked my body into the sitting position. I yanked my foot out of the shoe then worked the shoe out of the hole thinking how do I get myself into these situations?!

I assessed my injuries and found only skinned knees. I knew I would feel more later.

I picked up everything then slowly crawled to the steps. This took about 5 minutes because of my skinned knees. 

I finally made it to the steps and pulled myself up and went into the house.

Lo and behold! MyHubby was still awake! I told him I thought about calling him on the cell phone but didn't want to wake him. He commented that he put the grating down to make it easier for me.

I concurred but what can I say? I know I worry him when I fall. If I could stop from falling I surely would. It's my life. Luckily, I don't do it as often. I usually catch my balance but the odds go against me when my hands are not free.

Later that night and the next morning I felt the rest of the injuries. Pulled arm muscles, bruised ribs and  I felt like a BIG MAC truck hit me. There was a bruise the size of a ping pong on my right hip and forearm.

I am happy to say I am fine now. Bruises are gone and I'm moving like my old self again. Oh and my pride is back intact.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

12 Year Old Black Boy Makes My Day

I have so much going on that I have failed to blog about all my events. Something happened to me today just made my day.

I drove to the little country store in my country-hick town. It's the only grocery store nearby. I go there often to buy items in between our big monthly Walmart shopping. The employees are awesome and everywhere you turn one says hello and how are you.

As I was looking for the aisle I needed I saw this group of 5 black young boys. The oldest who seemed to be doing the shopping was about 16-17 years old. The others seemed to be between the ages of 5-12. The two youngest ones was rambunctious running and jumping around the area.

We incidentally ended up on the same aisle. I was searching for what I needed and at the same time keeping an eye on the little kids because even if they just pass by me I can lose my balance and either fall or knock down a display. Both has happened to me before.

I noticed the 12 year old intently watching me. I turned my head and our eyes met. He smiled and said, "Hello Ma'am!" I said, "Hello." 

He corralled the other two so I could pass. I thanked him. Politely, he told me "your welcome."

We both had smiles during our exchange.

After I checked out I was grabbing my bags and the same 12-year old came out of nowhere and asked if I needed help. After a glance of my surroundings I noticed the others were checking out.

I told him it was okay, I had this. I then told him how sweet it was for him to ask and thanked him and told him to have a blessed day. He reciprocated.

I don't know why this affected me so much but it just reconfirms to me that not ALL kids are bad. There are plenty who are well-mannered, polite and willing to help.

It seems like I have seen him before but can not place him.

Of course, after I got home I started thinking. I didn't have any cash on me but if I had I could have bought him a little something or given him money. 

I hate when I think of things I could have done after the fact.

I hope this boy has an inkling how much I appreciated his offer. He just warmed my heart. God Bless Him

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Tentative Decision on Volunteering.

After writing about wanting to find somewheres where I can volunteer. BabyGirl's friend had posted on Facebook that June was not her month. I felt like God was sending me a sign so I set up a fundraiser here. You can also find the widget on my home page of this blog. I am begging you, if you have a spare dollar, it would be so appreciated if you would donate.

That same day I reread the blog post and prayed. I thanked him for giving me the direction with Victoria. 

I also talked to my mom. I told her my inner conflicts.  She told me what she was doing for her Hospice client and explained to me what Hospice duties a volunteer can do. She suggested since I was unsure I should write or call the Volunteer Coordinator.

So I emailed the Coordinator, summarized what I was thinking and what led me to the organization.

She told me I sounded so sweet like my Mom. She suggested I go there and talk with her. So I did a few days later.

I talked candidly to her about my reservations working with the patients directly. 

Although I know Cancer is not contagious, family members around could be ill and I have a low immune system.

I've worked with the elderly and tend to get attached to them. When they die I take it hard sometimes.

I want to volunteer but I don't want to 7 days a week.

I told her about my near death experiences although she knew some of it from my mom.

She explained the things a volunteer can do. There were many I could be interested in.

So I filled completed the paper work. They have to do a criminal background check etc. In September I go to the training class. 

After talking to the sweet volunteer coordinator and with three individuals telling me I could help with Hospice, I think God is helping me along the way.

I think it is closest to nursing that I'll get.

I am researching on the burial idea. It will definitely be complicated but have not made a definitive decision yet.

Do you know anyone who worked at Hospice or was a client?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Infected Foot Biopsied

I finally had a visit with a dermatologist for my foot. The problem is described in an earlier post. I've been struggling with it for 9 months. I went to my family doctor twice for it and got two different diagnoses and treatments. The treatments made it a little better but it kept recurring.

Recently, my foot has been so bad that when I put socks on, my skin sticks to it and it just pulls the skin off. I can hardly hobble on the other foot because that foot is also starting to have the rash. 

When Dr M., my dermatologist came in, she looked at my foot and exclaimed, "Oh baby, your foot is severely infected!"

Shocked, I asked, "What?!"

She repeated it was severely infected and we needed to find the cause. She turned and started rambling to her nurse. 

Then she turned to me and asked me how long I've had this. I told her about 9 months but it wasn't this bad the whole time.

She said she needed to biopsy it and do a culture on it.

Whoa! Wait a minute! Did she say biopsy? I thought okay I'm going to have to come back.

I asked when. She said, "Now." 

I watched the nurse filling a syringe with a big needle. I am not afraid of needles but it was just freaking me out a little. 

I asked her how was she going to do the biopsy now? 

She said she would inject my foot to numb it and get a sample. When she put the light over my foot, she said it was flowing pus.

I know! EWWWWWWWWW! It grossed me out.

Pus? I knew it was drainage but it never dawned on me that it was pus.

All I felt was the sting of the medicine injecting into my foot. In less than a minute, they were finished.

She put me on antibiotics and gave me a different cream.

When I asked for her educated guess what this could be she said she didn't know but maybe psoriasis or fungal infection. She promised that she will find out the origin of the problem and make it healthy.

She put a band aid on the biopsy site. The next day the pain was excruciating.  It's sorta like I am stomping on nails. Sometimes I just want to cry.

Walking on it is just almost impossible. I have ruined so many socks with the drainage and then peeling off the skin as well. I have tried gauze and that sticks too.

I have come up with a solution. It is weird. I have feminine pads, I don't know why. I found them in the back of my cabinet. I have the maxi pads with the wings and pantyliners. I took the maxi pad and cut in half. Then I put them together taping it to my soles of my feet for the night. During the day I have the pantyliner taped to my foot It slides off and I have to retape it, maybe I need new tape.  But I figure it protects my foot from the ground and keeps the cream on. I don't plan on going anywhere for the next few days so I don't have to wear shoes.

There is never a dull moment in my life medically for sure.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Give Forward: A Request

I am so excited. God answered my prayers. He has given me direction.

After writing my last post I went to Facebook. A friend of my daughter's wrote on Facebook that June was not her month. She is 21 years old and her cancer has returned. This child has been through the ringer since she was 14.

I remember her coming over to my hime with my daughter.  One day she was limping. I asked her what was wrong and she didn't know. Her mom brought her to the doctor and she had Osteosarcoma of the tibia.

Osteosarcoma is cancer of the bone. Through the 7 years it has metastasized to her lungs, abdomen and other areas. She has been through a lot of chemo, and surgeries.

She is a fighter.

Even with her world upside down she focused on her education and graduated on time. She has had it rough.

She had a job and a boyfriend who cares for her deeply. She was in remission for a bit but last month it has returned.

She was working her father.  Since the cancer has come back she and her boyfriend has had to miss work to bring her to treatments. Her father fired both of them. In my opinion, it is cold-hearted.

Since she has no income she needs a little help for daily living and gas to go to treatments. I have started a fundraiser at If you have heart and a few dollars for donation, you can give it here.

Even if you can't donate I would appreciate it if you shared this story to everyone and ask them to donate, whether it be $1, $5 or whatever. Anything will be appreciated.

God Bless!