Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions

1. Redo will and living will.
2. Put car in better condition with purchase of tail light assembly that has been broken for two years and get it installed.
3. Pay off hospital bill I've been having for 1-1/2 years.
4. Don't let ex get the better of me.
5. Call Layla more often.
6. Stay in touch with family (aunts and uncles)more
7. Chat with Jeff more
8. Organize all pics on computers
9. Organize filing
10. Gain weight to get to 100 lbs. (Now at 84.)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Layla surgery/Special Needs Dream

Dream/Layla Surgery

Last night my dream that I remembered took place at my Granny's old house on the Island. Her kitchen backyard window was a huge drive up window. My mom and Aunt Sharon was in the dream but I do not remember their purpose.

We had Special-need kids come by busload. Some had Down's, a few had some other retardation, and some were physically challenged. The buses would stop in front of the window about 20 feet back and they would all RUN to the window making their preferences perfectly clear what they want.

They commanded, “Coke with Ice.” “Coke without ice” “Dr. Pepper” “Dr. Pepper with ice.” “No ice in Dr. Pepper.” Some just wanted water. We didn't have water. Their little faces told 'us' (I just feel there were some other people helping.) what they thought about no water. Some we convinced to try a Dr. Pepper or Coke. Some just weren't swayed.

Between busloads I would go into the living room to watch TV and before I knew it someone (Maybe Mom or Aunt Sharon?) was yelling bus is coming and I had to rush because for some reason we did not want them to wait.

You have to understand to get from the kitchen to the living room, you have to pass through a large dining room and bedroom. Her house was big but it was twice the size in my dream!

Reason I dreamed this: Hmm I've been thinking of Granny a lot and I guess 'reconnecting with my family on that side” is triggering things. Special-needs kids: Although I hate admitting it, I was a special needs child for my mom and it was so rough for her with society as it was in 1960s and the ADA wasn't around then. Also I was looking at a Christmas postcard of my long time cyber friend who has a special needs child explaining to My Love who they were. Maybe its telling me to get off my butt and join the advocacy for disability rights.

For those who don't know yet. Layla is having surgery tomorrow, Thursday on her shoulder. She has had shoulder problems for a couple of years and had surgery on it once before last year. The doc said 9 out of 10 patients do not need to have the surgery again. Layla is unfortunately that one that does. She will need to deal with her possible limitations concerning karate and her athleticism. Please pray for her recovery and her coping. Unfortunately, she didn't win in the stubbornness department with parents concerned because her father and I are both stubborn. I learned long time ago, do what you can and take it day by day.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Car Problems

I have a hard enough time writing a post much less a title creatively. I hate making up a title because that means I have to make the post on what the title says. Misc, My Life, etc just isn't good enough. I feel like I want to ramble on and on but the title Ramble just don't bring in readers.

Anyway, since my title is Car Problems I better get to my post.

My car is 10 years old and to be honest it has not given me too much trouble. My car has been making little squeaks and stuff but then all of a sudden, when I accelerated or decelerated it seemed like I had to press the pedal all the way to the metal and I felt this major rubbing.  My RPM needle would not go more than 2. When I idled it felt like it was going to die. So I decided I better go check this out before it gets alot worse. (I had no idea how bad it would REALLY be.)

So on that fateful Wednesday, after lunch with my cousin, she followed me to the mechanic shop my SO (Significant other) had used before that was reasonable not to mention close to where we live.

We arrive at the mechanic shop and the first thing I noticed was a gust of smoky air hitting me in the face. I hate smoking! I have never smoked and never had the inclination to do so. And then I still have lung disease. It's a persons perogative to smoke their lives but I shouldn't have to deal with it.

 There was this obese 50ish scruffy looking man sitting in a chair shuffling through papers on his messy desk. There was a cat sleeping on the computer screen.

He looked at me and asked what he could do for me. I told him I had a 2000 Saturn SL1 to be checked. I described my problem. He reaches for an invoice and asks with his wheezing gasping voice what kind of car. I thought ,didn’t I just say that? I repeated myself and he proceeded to write my problem. After, he said, "Okay, we'll check it out and call you." This was 2 pm in the afternoon.

The next morning I had not heard from the man. I called to inquire the status of my car. He said it was the mount. I asked what does that have to do with my car almost stalling and RPM's going wacko and when it idles it feels like it is going to die? He said oh, you said it made noises. I said yes but I also said the other stuff. He pauses and says he'll have his guy drive it and call me. I asked if it was one of those things I HAVE to change. He said yes, he'll call me back. So I waited and waited.

My Love stopped on his way home and the man said he was waiting for the mount. He thought I had talked to him so didn't inquire any more.

So I called the man and said I didn't understand what was going on. He said he had to order the mount. I told him a) I didn't say to fix it and b) he never called with an estimate. He said he couldn't give me an estimate until he got the part because he doesn't know the price. Now, that is the first time I've ever gone to a mechanic to tell me I couldn't get an estimate. Has anyone? This was way off the wall to me.

There was a long pause because I was counting to 10. It seemd he had an afterthought and said, "I'll call you as soon as you the part comes in from Chevrolet. If you decide you don't want it done, I'll just send the part back."

I waited all day and no return call as he said he would when he received the mount. I called the place at 3 pm and told the man who I was and wondering what was going on with my car. I heard shuffling of papers and heavy breathing.  He finally said, “It’s your tires.”

I had to think because then I was confused.

I responded, “What? You said mount!”

I could hardly understand what he was saying. You know how you get that feeling when you talk to someone and they are not listening?


I exclaimed, “HELLO?”

He repeated, “It’s your tires!”

I said, “You said mount yesterday and I just changed my tires a few weeks ago.”

He mumbled something about tires rubbing against steel.

I asked “Where that came from?”

He said irritably, “Come see and I’ll show you.”

I responded, “I am coming to see as soon as my boyfriend returns home!’

Nothing. He had hung up.

My lovely significant other came home and we drove there. When we arrived there were 3 mechanics in the office and the a—hole. He just pointed at one of the mechanics and the mechanic gestured to follow him and said, “It was the mount and tire struts’.

We followed him to the back to my car. He showed us the mount was cracked. Okay, they might have been right. Then he said the struts on the front needed to be changed and my tires are getting worn fast. They were touching my car’s tire (I actually had the thought, they are molesting my car! I know strange mind I have LOL). I did not understand or see what they were talking about. But Randal did and I trust HIM.

The mechanic was a young nice patient  20ish, if that, man who answered our questions. My SO asked the question, “Why didn’t ya’ll drive the car first? (That's what mechanics should do right????"}

The mechanic answered “I do what I am told.” I understood that.

SO and the mechanic conversed for a few minutes. The mechanic informed us he could uninstall and install the mount in 20 minutes. I told him I needed to find out the price first. He highly recommended the front struts to be replaced. SO agreed. “SIGH”

We returned to the front and the manager (whoever he was) who had been somewhat rude throughout the two days and pointed us to the mechanic when we first got there was sitting there. When I asked the amount of installing the mount he said $158 with labor. The invoice was on the desk facing the man and leaned forward to read what it said.  It said parts were 75 something. He moved it before I could read it all LOL

SO questioned politely why they didn't drive my car in the first place and reminded them they had my car for two days with no progress. The manager looked at me pointing with exasperation and breathily accused, “She only said it was making noise”

I know for a fact that I did not tell him that was my main problem. I told him that I did not know how to describe it but when I accelerated or decelerated I have this major kick back rubbing feeling and my RPMs were erratic between 0 and 2 when I was idle.

I retorted, “I told you when I accelerated and put my break it FEELS rubbing.

He said with a high tone, “No you didn't. You were vague."

Instinctively I got defensive and still calmly said , "Yes I did, I have a witness."

He shakes his head adamantly and raises his hand like “shut up.” (Excuse me, I'm your fucking customer!)

My SO (Bless Him) continued to talk calmly,” We just want to understand why ya’ll never communicated with us unless we called and the problem kepts changing. You had the car for two days and ya'll didn't even drive it until the next day.”

This man just flipped out! He huffily and puffily exclaimed, “I don’t like to be attacked. I can’t help it if she was vague. I do not know what to tell you.  ” He said some other things neither I nor SO could understand.

This man was just downright abrasive. Words went back and forth between SO and him. SO stayed calm the whole time and this man was going ballistic! I was stunned because SO usually avoids confrontation.

I finally had enough and asked man how much I owed him for their work thus far. He shakes his head aggressively like he wanted us out of there and replied, “NOTHING”.

I said, "Fine, you have a great day and told SO “let’s go.” We went into the garage and the mechanic was evidently waiting for the word to do it. I asked him if my car was ready to go. He reported, “Yes ma'am. I thanked him and left.

SO said the a--hole was a little "flighty" when he went a couple of times before for his car but the man was never abrasive like today. SO, the kind and patient man he is just had  ignored it. He said although the ‘manager’ was sort of rude, there were excellent mechanics.

I am not like that, if I am paying someone to do a service and the worker is rude to me or totally disregards me, I am finished with them.

A friend suggested someone else here a little farther down the road so I called there, he said he was busy then but I could go in the morning as he is opened from 9 to 1.

We arrived at 9 am at the new Mechanic's. I liked this man right off. He was very nice and understanding. He actually drove my car to see if he could see what I was saying. He says the mount could be replaced but that is not to worry about at this time since I don't drive long distances alot, He said I need to change my front end struts and wheel bearings. They have to take alot out so he couldn't show us the bearing but he showed us a sample. I understand most of what he said.  He said I could just do the bearings but struts should be done also. He gave me a price. "SIGH". $535!  He said I didn't necessarily have to do it now but he said its going to wear down my tires and I'll have to continue buying tires. He said this is normal from wear and tear. I did pretty good through the years without repairig.

Ironically, he used to work for the other place I went to and the asshole there is his best friend. We had to laugh at that. He explained to us why the asshole is like he is. I don't think its an excuse to be rude and not do his job.

I brought my car the first thing Monday morning. They changed the front tend struts and wheel bearings. My car runs much smoothly now. He gave me a discount since I paid cash.

The first mechanic lost out on business with me and I will never refer anyone to them.

However, it sounds like something is going to fall out or something. I am not bothering with it until after Christmas. I'm broke anyway...LOL.

Merry Christmas to all

Friday, December 17, 2010

Act of Kindness=Christmas

If you remember, a while back I had my laptops in repair shop and one came back and never worked here. Well I got the other computer working on ethernet then Randal and I FINALLY figured out the wireless. It is an okay computer but very old.

Well I was sitting here brooding over my current problems, how much money I had to spend on my car (Problem still there, not as pronounced but seems like another problem has risen but not worrying about it until after Christmas as I don't drive that often anyway) and teeth and future financial strain on treatment of teeth (Another post I'm working on LOL).  So all is quiet and I'm in my thoughts then my phone rings. I see the number and the place I brought my computers for service. I thought what they want with me.

So I answered and he announced who he was.
He asked, "How are you today?"
I respond. "Fine and you."
He says, "Well the reason I'm calling you is I have this computer like your older computer but it is newer but used. I have it pristine condition."
I thought, "Uh huh..can't afford it."
He continues, " Kathy and I have decided to give it to you for a Christmas gift."
The pessimistic person I can be, inquired, "How much?"
He exclaims, "Nothing! Its a gift to you for Christmas."
It HIT me! I started crying.
He asked, "Are you okay."
I sobbed took a deeep breath and said, "Wait this is too overwhelming. I was having bad week and I'm comprehending it. "
Silence while I get  my breath.
I finally say, "Thank you so much."
He said, "Your welcome. We close today at noon but you can call next week and pick it up."
I cry some more.
I say: You have no idea what that means to me calling me at this point."
He said, "I'm glad. See you next week. Merry Christmas."

No one has ever done that sorta of thing fo me besides family. For him to even think of me and give it to me just swells my heart and my tear ducts open. That heavy feeling in my chest lightened with that one act of kindness and thoughtfulness.

My heart was  pounding and I was blubbering for joy. Randal is at work and I put it on facebook but I just had to tell someone so I called Layla. Sorry I interrupted your bath, Layla!

At first she thought something was wrong.

She asked with concern in her voice, "What's wrong Mom?' I could hardly talk I was crying so much.

Then like I tell her when she is upset, she says, "Mom take a deep breath." I finally get it together and tell her. She said, "Yes, there are kind people in the world."

Yes there is. my other problems are still here but that act of kindness right at that moment has lifted my spirits. The computer I need yes but what touched my heart was that they thought of little me.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Grandpa's hands

I received this from a friend.

Grandpa's Hands
Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.   He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands.  When I sat down
beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.

He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.  "Yes, I'm fine, thank
you for asking" he said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandpa, but you were just sitting here
staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK."  I explained to him.

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked.  I mean really looked at
your hands? I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.  I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.  No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.

Grandpa smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have
served you well throughout your years.  These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.  They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend 's foot.  They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.  They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.  They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.  And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.  These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.  But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.  And with my hands, He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ

I will never look at my hands the same again.  But I remember God reached
out and took my grandpa's hands and led him home.  When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife I think of grandpa.  I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.  I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel his hands upon my face. When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying
for one another ...

Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend will bless you both.
Passing this on to one not considered a friend is something Christ would do.

Make it a great day!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Piece of My Life

I feel so much better today. I had trouble sleeping last night. However, the last two hours of my sleep was a dream.  

Layla and Hannah were about 6 years old. Hannah’s mom and I were at this big house stirring something chocolate syrupy. I don’t recognize the house but it was on Main Street in The Berry. We were waiting to bring our girls to some kind of event at school. 

Layla and Hannah yelled they were going walk. Hannah’s mom said, “Okay.”

I asked, “Where to?”

They never answered and just left.   After a while I started getting worried and went find them. I found them, don’t remember where but I was royally irked. I pulled both of them in the car Hannah’s mom was driving. We got to NISH and there were cars entering and exit. Somehow we realize it was the wrong place. So we left and found the right place which looked like NISH again. In my dream none of us realized the buildings were the same. However, we were relieved.  

That’s all I remember LOL.  

Analysis; It seemed like I was going in circles. 

I had lunch at Picante with Kathy. Our waiter was strange. He was polite but looked high or something.

Kathy asked for the bill after our huge meal giving him the voucher. He returned and said we owed $4 and change. I gave him my debit card when he returned with my card and receipt to sign it had 1.38. That was a change from $4 to $1 don’t you think? So I gave him a tip to equal to what he said the first time.  

As we were moving to leave a girl yelled to turn something around. Kathy and I had no idea what she was talking about so we just left.  

She followed me to the mechanic. The first step I walked in the door I smelled smoke. There was this man sitting in a chair. There was a cat sleeping on the computer screen He asked me what he could do for me. I told him I had a 2000 Saturn SL1 to be checked. I described my problem. He reaches for an invoice and asks me what kind of car. Didn’t I just say that? He was wheezing big time. I thought he was going to fall over any time.  

Kathy and I came to my apartment and we chatted until she left. Twenty minutes later,

Randal walked in with a bag of stuff he bought at discount. He reminded me of Santa. He is not as heavy as Santa but with the packages, he just reminded me of Santa.

He is MY Santa Claus

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hustle and bustle

The last three days has been hustle and bustle. Sunday my family came for my dad’s 73rd celebration. I was curious to see who would show up. Surprisingly, my brother in law TB, my sister, MB, her pregnant daughter, BB (If I haven’t said it yet, I am going to be a GREAT AUNT of a boy due April Fool’s day!), my mom, dad and then the three of us, RQ, LG and me My “throw me out of his birthday party rude” nephew AB, and his girlfriend BC and pregnant BB's boyfriend., SC.

My sister and brother in law were hung over after partying with everyone I mentioned except “us” and my parents the previous evening.  BB said her boyfriend were sleeping as he was hung over and getting ready to go offshore (Reasonable excuse). MB said they went to AB’s apartment to pick up their truck as BB was the only one who didn’t drink so drove her to her parents’ home because they were too intoxicated to drive.  MB said they rang the doorbell and not a peep, AB and SC must have been passed out.

But it was a great day. Everyone was calm and talked civilly. My sister brought the birthday cake and it was a Devil Dog cake or something like that. I cooked red beans, rice, sausage and coleslaw. Simple meal but good meal.

Everyone left at about 2:30 and we watched the end of the Saints game. Damn they sucked but won! A win is a win but they struggled.

Then yesterday, Monday after My Love got off work we drove to the mall. We knew which entrance to enter to get to customer service so we parked near there. We strolled in and out a few stores. First, we strolled into Journey, I bought my daughter some lip rings or whatever you call them as she pierced her lip a few weeks ago. (Arghhhh) We also strolled into
Sports Avenue
because they had LSU, UL and Saints products. We didn’t buy anything there. We made it to Customer Service and bought our gift cards. Then we saw GameStop. We can’t pass a GameStop! Didn’t buy anything there either but saw some interesting Wii games. I just subscribed to Game Fly and we test them out before we buy them or just send them back.

We made it back to our car and drove to Best Buy. We wandered around there. The Kinect didn’t work with us but it worked for the guy before us so go figure. We don’t have X-Box anyway. HA!

Then we went to a place that sells Wine and similar items. The guy looked like a guy that was married to one of my best friends. Thankfully, it wasn’t him. They had so many different kinds of wine and the prices. I think I’ll stick with Boone’s Farm and Arbor Mist thank you very much, unless someone buys me some. I like the white wine more than the red.

After that we picked up some fried chicken from Church’s friend chicken. When I lived in the Berry, the Church’s fried chicken was awful and at the wrong end of town. But where I live now is awesome and they have coupons. We got an 8 piece of legs and thighs, mashed taters, coleslaw and 4 biscuits for 10 bucks.

We are finished Christmas shopping although I want to buy my daughter some copying paper since I am giving her a printer.

Today, Tuesday, I woke up at 6:30 and miserably cold. I hate this cold weather and getting up so early sucks. So I start my car and hear this roaring sound and my RPM dial went to 2. I’m like HOLY COW. All the way to the Berry when I lift off my gas it feels like its going to stall and when I put the brake on it does the same thing. I hate car repairs. I hate being without my car while being repaired.

Anyway, I made it to the doctor’s office. I gained 5 lbs (YEA ME!)  Making to the 100 lbs slowly, presently at 89. I know! I’m sorry for those of you are struggling with their weight.LOL). I love my family doctor. I can talk about anything with him. I make him laugh so there! They drew a vial of blood to check my thyroid as I am hypothyroid. That is one condition that just came out of the blue sky. But it certainly explains my tiredness etc. (Gotta have some kind of excuse right?)

So after I paid my $16.16 (Medicare is weird in that way.) I went to my pregnant niece’s shop and got my hair cut. It needed it so badly. After I made my way to Legnon’s Butcher and got some crawfish and regular boudin. I get in my car and realize I hadn’t reminded him of my FLU shot.

I know some of you don’t believe in the FLU shot. Yes, you can still get the flu but with my immune system and respiratory disease I realize it is the best for me. Before I started taking the flu shot I would catch the flu and it would either turn into pneumonia or I would be sick as a dog 14 days and it would take me just as long to get back to “MY NORM.”

Anyway, I called Dr. Hankenhof’s office back and the receptionist said they had no more flu shots. She suggested Walgreens. I refuse to step into Walgreen’s. So I called CVS as I go there and remembered seeing a sign. They said it was $30 bucks and they tried running it through with Medicare and it refused it.  But what else was I going to do? So I mad an appointment at 3 pm.

I drove towards the highway to be on my way home. Right when I was getting ready to get on the Interstate I thought of my pulmonologist (Same building, different floor of my family doctor. They all know me very well as my family doctor’s staff, I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not), It was almost 10 am. The receptionist told me 11:45 am. I thought DAMN! I wanted to be home before noon. I asked if I could go then, I could be there in 10 minutes. After putting me on hold she said YES! So I went back to where my initial stop was and got my flu shot. I had to wait about 15 minutes but hey! What can I say? I didn’t have to pay anything as Medicare covers it (My earned money I put in when I was working). A big difference from 30 bucks to nothing eh?

I could give you stories of stupid drivers on the road but won’t go there. But perfect reason why I hate to drive anymore. I do it but don’t mean I have to like it HA!

After stopping for gas and the mail, I made it home at 12:15.  My Love and I had boudin and he had soup also. You know that nasty Ramen noodle ½ salt soup? I called CVS to cancel my appointment. She asked why? I told her I got it without costing me 30 dollars. She said, “OH.” I called our mechanic and he said I can drop my car off any time tomorrow so I wrote to my cousin who I’m having lunch with asking if she would come up with me after lunch to drop my car off and bring me home and she said yes. If not, I would have made it somehow. Thanks CUZ.

I all of a sudden got drowsy and the soreness of my arm started. I don’t know why the flu shot does that to me. This time my whole right side hurts from my head to my arm. I think it is coincidence. But anyway, I went to bed and slept soundly for 2 hours.

Okay here’s my dream. I’ve been dreaming for the past 3 days and I remember them and tell Randal but we both forget. Yes I have a pad and pen at my bedside but I don’t think of that “BOP MYSELF IN THE HEAD OWWW”.

In my dream it started out that I was in a house ex and I rented on Weeks Street when we first got together. The kitchen had a big screen TV showing this black dude talking on what looked like a talk show and he was laughing and said he had the hots for Oprah. I thought (in my dream) eww that is wrong! I had just had my flu shot in my dream and was feeling pretty much the same way before I fell asleep. I went to my bed which the living room was the bedroom (Am I confusing any of you yet) on this hug bed and fell asleep.

My dream suddenly switched to serving myself red beans and rice and thinking the red beans was too dry and didn’t have enough gravy.

I can’t remember the rest.


Weeks St. House and the rooms different—No idea. It was our first decent place we rented before we were married. Haven’t thought of that place in ages.
FLU shot: Obvious I just got a flu shot.
Red beans obvious-had some Sunday but it had enough gravy so go figure.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays! Please do not drive after drinking, while texting or on cell phone. Have fun and be safe.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Overcoming Fear

I read a blog about this person's fear and she asked is it possible to overcome fear.  I think it depends on the fear. If you can control the fear it is easier to overcome, I believe.

Lets say you are fear of heights. I think if you can make yourself confront it by riding in a plane or climb up a tower, that fear can be overcome.

However, if you are afraid of animals, it can be harder because if one keeps meeting up with that certain animals. at inopportune times, I can see how they can't overcome it.

I fear snakes. They are just slimy and ewww. Years back a coach of my wheelchair (FYI I am not in a wheelchair, I just had to use one.)soccer team had a python.  I held it but that fear just didn't go away.

My kid used to love clowns but all of a sudden she is terrified of them and I have no idea why. She can't explain it.

One night my senior year my friend and I went to Western Sizzler to eat a steak. I got a  piece of steak stuck in my throat. I was choking but it wasn't blocking my airway.  I did the worse thing I could do and  ran into the bathroom gagging and coughing trying to vomit. My friend became hysterical and started yelling for help.

A good Samaritan happened to be eating and he came into the bathroom and did the Heimlich Maneuver several times and it didn't come out. 911 was called. When the ambulance came, they said it wasn't blocking my airway that's why the Heimlich  Maneuver didn't work.

They rushed me to the hospital and they suction it until it went down. They were trying to suction it up but it was that low that it just went down. I had a sore throat for a few days. I did not want to eat a steak again.

After a few months, my parents realized I wasn't going to the Sizzler again. They encouraged me to go back and I was too afraid it would happen again.

So one day they told me we were going eat out but they wouldn't tell me where. When we drove up to the Sizzler, I became scared.

I told them I didn't want to choke again and be embarrassed. They said, "We're going in and you are going to eat a steak. It is the only way to face your fear." When my parents told me to do something, I did because I knew the repercussions if I didn't.

Needless to say, I ate the steak without choking and I wasn't afraid eating a steak again.

I know my story is simpler than others. I think every fear it is justified.  To face the fear is that person's choice. If they don't face it, it doesn't mean anything negative  about them. It is just what it is. Fear

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

CockRoach Stand-Off

I am sure all of you had a version of a stand off with a cockroach.

Here’s my latest. We don’t have many where I live, thankfully.

 It’s not the easiest thing to get in and out of a bathtub for me. I can’t raise my leg up like most of you and without a handrail on the tub itself it’s a hit or miss as I brace myself with a hand on the wall or toilet to step into the tub so I do have to pay attention. (Luckily for me after 48 years I've figured it out for it to work 99.9% of the time. YEA ME!)

There were those times I was too tired or just not thinking and not paying attention. I don’t have enough fingers to count the times I fell somehow, and hit my head on the toilet or tub. I’ve slid right down onto my butt. I’ve pulled muscles in my arms, back and legs scrambling to catch something to stay upright as I go down. Never broke anything though! God is with me!

You get the picture, I hope.

The other night I undressed to take a shower. I know for a fact I looked down into the bathtub and all was clear. I stepped into the tub.  I put on the hot water, let it run then I turned on the cold water. All was good. After the water temperature was my preferred setting I grabbed my handheld showerhead and started showering.

After a few minutes I looked down and saw something brown move swiftly under my foot. I have an arch where some of my foot doesn’t touch the ground. I lift my leg slightly up and there’s this brown cockroach!

I yelp and swiftly jumped back just as the cockroach went the same direction. I hurriedly skipped  the opposite way and it turned my way and a yelp escaped me again. I thought, “Oh yea! I’m gonna get your little ass!” and directed the shower head streaming with water directly at it.

I could see it trying to swim but I kept the shower head on it so it couldn’t get its footing. My position was a little weird for me so for a millisecond I moved the shower head away as I repositioned.

Cockroach got its footing and went towards the back corner and I thought, “Oh, no you don’t!” I berated our bathroom layout thinking why isn’t the toilet paper around so I can grab it and squish it or even a shoe? Of course, I never thought of a can of shaving cream or bottle of shampoo that was right in from me. That was just too easy.

So I whispered, “You are going drown!” with a fleeting thought roaches actually like water.

But with determination, I positioned my shower head on the roach again and thought, “DIE! DIE! DISGUSTING! EWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWWW!” Shivers.

A memory came to me fleetingly when one day my daughter and I lived in our apartment 20 miles away. She was in the bathroom and just started screaming. One of those screams that a parent hears and thinks there is something dreadfully wrong.  But when I ran into the bathroom she was standing on the toilet still screaming pointing at a roach. I can’t remember where it was. But she did not stop screaming until the roach was dead.

My child would climb chairs and stand on anything she can find if she saw a roach but she wasn’t afraid of snakes. Go figure.

Anyway as I was dousing the roach with a fast flowing water stream I vowed I would not be hysterical like her and my mission became critical.

I started moving the water like a blower to move leaves. I had to skip twice (Praying, DON’T FALL) to get opposite of him but finally…I got it to go down the drain.


I finish my shower scanning the drain periodically.

When I walked  into the living room fresh and clean, I ask MY LOVE if he did not hear me yelp. He said, “Yea, but I didn’t hear you again so I figured you were okay.”

I thought,” I am glad I wasn’t seriously hurt.” But then thought, “It’s your own fault, Ms. Independent. How many times have you made noise and he comes running and you tell him, gee, don’t worry about me so much, I hardly hurt myself.” “SIGH”

Guess the roach went visit someone else because he has not been seen since.