Monday, October 24, 2011

Here We Come Las Vegas!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was uneventful. Thank God!

I think things are settling down. My BabyGirl has been accomplishing staying on her moped and I am building my strength. I can actually get up without the room spinning. My appetite is better and I can eat without wanting to puke. I do find at times I get weak but I think my sugar is messing with me. I am waiting for my appointment with my endocrinologist next month.

MyLove and I are doing great. He has some vacation days left so we decided to go to Las Vegas. I have never been there but he has. I am excited! We have a nonstop flight to Las Vegas and our hotel is all set up. We are not sure what we want to do.

I am an online poker and black jack player. I am by no means good at it. I used to play online tournaments and won a few second/third places. I know my problem is impatience. Once it becomes a long drawn out game, I get bored and make stupid bets.

I am contemplating hitting the black jack table. Depends on how much moolah I can come up with. If anyone would like to donate to my gambling fund, be free to do so! My Donate button is to your upper right. (Facebook fans, if you wanna donate, hope on over to My Cajun Life blog and as I said it is on your upper right. I would be graciously appreciative!

When I told some of my family and friends their first question were...Are ya'll going get married? NO, we are not getting married. We are just fine living the way we are.

My BabyGirl told me she was going to miss me that week. Awww! I thought that was so sweet. I will miss her too. I told her it would be so cool if I would win enough money (If I play!) to put her through college. She agrees.

I just wanted to post something since I have been absent for a few days to let you know I am here.

Have a safe and wonderful week!

Thursday, October 20, 2011


I am blessed. Because of each and everyone of you!

I thought my last post was gross, drab and depressing. However, YOU, my followers did it again! YOU made me see an entire different angle of what I thought was the most embarrassing moment  of my life..

One of my distant cousins knows my mom well and she pinned my mom exactly. Dry, sweet and to the point. She pictured it and laughed her heart out. I am glad I could do that for you, Kim! And to all those who laughed and got a kick out of it.

Thanks to those who privately messaged me with their own stories. It makes me feel less alone and less embarrassed because some of you really had worse stories than mine.

I want to apologize for this ragged post but I am really not myself but it kept playing in my head and I had to write it.

Thanks and PEACE for you all!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Most Embarrassing Moments~

We have had all of our MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS! After thinking, writing and rewriting I decided to let it all out. Also, a friend shared her story and I have to admit hers was worse. But let me talk about mine.

DISCLAIMER: This may contain  graphic and strong language.

It happened when I was in the hospital with an awful virus two weeks ago. Come here to catch up.

When I was in the ER and many times that day I was questioned if I had diarrhea and my response was always 'no'. I thought a couple of times, "Why do they keep asking me?" I never had to go the bathroom and never felt anything seep out of any of my orifices.

Lethargic with IV fluids pumped into my tiny body I laid in the comfy bed listening to my mom and MyLove chat. All of a sudden..I started farting.

My mom, the lovely compassionate Mother she is encouraged, "Let it out." She knows how awful my gas smells when I am sick. I mean farts never smell good but when I am sick, its the way my sickness leaves my body. We used to kid something crawled up inside and died.

Fast forward to around 12:30 AM the next morning, the nurse came in as the IV machine  was beeping. They had inserted  the IV in my inner elbow. making it positional.If I didn't hold my arm straight as a board,  it would stop the flow and the machine would beep. The nurse asked me to turn onto my side so she could get the tubing I was evidently laying on. My mom being awaken by the beep was standing on my other side. She lifted the blankets and exclaimed, "Oh My God!"

Horrified, I yelled, "WHAT?"

She proclaimed, "You have shit all over!"

The nurse glanced and immediately turned around and said she was going get the aide.While we waited, Mom was looking and said, "We are going to have to change everything. You have POOP from your neck to your toes!"

I wanted to cry and kept saying, "I didn't know! How did I not feel that? This is so embarrassing?"

She concluded, "It is just watery poop. Evidently every time you farted, you pooped."

The aide, Melinda  walked in with a stack of bed linens and gown. I apologized frantically.  She was a doll being professional but compassionate. She encouraged, "You're not the first one to do this nor the last."

Melinda was so sweet, professional and comforting as she bathed me and changed my bed. I heard my mom talking to Melinda as I wished I could be anywhere but there in my own poop.

I had never felt such degradation or helplessness!. Every time I moved, I continued to dry heave so I could not do anything to help except follow Melinda's gentle orders.. I hoped that when I was nursing I respected every patient there was as I cleaned them in the same fashion as Melinda was doing for me. I would never have wanted to put the patient in any more emotional turmoil that was necessary!

After I was cleaned I fell back to sleep. However, I woke up around 4:30 AM  and before I could do  or say anything, it happened again. I had a 'wet fart' as MyLove puts it.  It just came with no warning so the poop flowed. It wasn't so bad this time.  Melinda finished cleaning me up for the second time.

I ordered Mom, "Give me the bedpan."

She inquired, "WHY?"

I proclaimed, " I am not going to be embarrassed like this again.  It is degrading."  The bedpan became my "Throne". Of course after I got on it and was all set, the diarrhea had ceased. Go figure!

Later on a nurse came in and had to uncover me for an injection she asked, "You're using the bedpan?"

"No", I replied, "I just didn't want to poop all over again."

She contested, "Oh no, hun! You can't do that! You'll get bed sores from the bedpan." She  ordered me to roll over to take the bedpan. I was not happy.

My mom looked and said, "Look, ring around the butt!" She hadn't even realized how funny it came out but I chuckled.

So there you have it! My Most Embarrassing Moment ever.


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Day 2-4 Hospitalization--This and That!

Here's the continuation of my hospitalization story. It is real! It is MY true life!

Okay that was my LAME imitation of the cool voices of announcers! Did I make you smile?!

In my previous post I said my next post would be about the doctors. I've played with the subject and like everything else I write, I think too darn much. Here it is nevertheless.

First, I want to reiterate that every staff member was excellent from triage to discharge.
The only two complaints are: One it seemed it took forever in ER. Funny, There is a disclaimer on their site about waiting time. And two, what everyone complains about..their food!

The first night they served rice and gravy. It as just plain nasty! My mom even grimaced! So it was that bad. And three days later they served the gravy again.."GAG"

My Hospitality Doctor was Dr. King. He came initially around 7 pm the night I was admitted. He was a a  nice distinguished fellow. I could tell right off that I would like him.

I have Googled his name and can't find any thing of substance except he works at that hospital, where he went to school and is an internist.

We discussed my extensive medical and surgical history along with the meds I take. He seemed relaxed and informed me the blood work and x-rays were normal. He was concerned about my blood sugar and blood pressure fluctuating. .He said I had a bad virus that entered my intestines and with my malnourishment/weight loss my good cells just weren't there to fight back. 

Encouraging he said it would take a few days for the virus to move along and I would feel much better. I was not going to make a comment about the 'feel much better in a few days'  HOWEVER, Mom said it, "He hasn't gotten to know YOU  yet!" We had a chuckle!
During his visit, as he was interviewing me, he became the third person in the hospital since I was wheeled into the ER to ask, "Can you walk?" Why do people assume because you have CP means you can't walk?!

That was a loaded question because YES I can walk but at that moment..NOT! I want to bang my head against the wall when people see me in the bed or on a chair, find out I have CP and then ask if I can walk.ESPECIALLY medical professionals!

The next day, the nurse must have called him numerous times about test results etc because he came around noon. He said that with the dextrose IV my blood sugar has stabilized but he didn't know if it was something wrong or the virus. He told me before I could go home, my blood pressure and blood sugars needed to stop being erratic and I had to eat a meal that stayed down. He also referred an endocrinologist to look at me.

My mom had gone home to bathe etc but on her way back she bought a Subway sandwich. It wasn't the type I would have chose but let me tell you I ate half of a half that sandwich. It was so good!

The late afternoon my endocrinologist, Dr.Stout visited. He said pretty much the same thing as Dr. King. He didn't know what the cause of the blood sugars fluctuating meant so he ordered two tests..A CRH stimulation test (That was an irritating test) and CBG tests to test my adrenal glands

The next morning he came with results in hand and said there was an abnormality of my adrenal gland.  Which one? NO clue and never thought to ask. But for those who know my history and those who don't..a few years back during a test, it was found that my right kidney was is smaller than the left and only 25% functionally. It was on my chart. The urologist chalked it up to a birth abnormality. My question at the time was, "Why did any doctor ever see that with the many tests I've gone through in my life?" Still don't know the answer.

When the girl did an ultrasound of my tummy this hitch, she just blurted surprised, "Your kidney is so little!?"  Remember when I wanted to hit my head on the wall?  Repeat!

Dr. Stout wasn't sure if the abnormality is from my sickness or another underlying cause. He put me on Hydrocortisone until I see him in early November. 

Dr King told me to follow up with my Family Doctor. He also promised that he had been sending reports to my GI, Family and Pulmonologist.

So there it is life LAST week.  I also had my MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT. at the hospital in my entire life but debating whether I want to share it with anyone else. Maybe one person can learn from it. It is pretty me anyway...

Thanks for coming back and taking the time to read this craziness and sometimes respond. Appreciate all of you!



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Day 2-4-Hospitalization--OWWW

Gee Whiz, I reread Day 1- Hospitalization-ER visit and noticed the many  misspellings, grammar errors, etc! I am so sorry.  I DID read over it several times before I posted!

Anyway, here's the continuation of my hospital visit. I will try to keep it simple.

The staff was just outstanding in every department I encountered. They were professional but compassionate.

 As Burly  transported me upstairs he joshed with me as I continued to dry heave. He assured me it would get better, and the room he was bringing me to would be more comfortable. He was true to his word!  I was able to defrost, there was a BIGGER bed and actually a PILLOW

 It was a typical hospital stay with much of the hospital staff not letting me sleep and vampires collecting blood in early mornings  The Sounds of machines beeping was heard and voices as they passed by my door.

The first two days were needles sticking my arms, fingers and stomach! Fluids making me use the bedpan every few minutes. Big x-ray machines coming to my room to take pics as well as ultrasounds. (I hate when they turn the screen so I can't look!)

I was downright miserable for the first few days.

The first night they finally gave me enough IV fluids and sugar to alleviate the nausea. I ached  all over..Oh..and when they did my vital signs the first time on the floor, my temperature was 103.5. I normally do not run fever even if I am sick. NEVER SAY NEVER!

I began a mantra to mom, "I just wanna curl up and die! Someone just needs to shoot me and get it over with."

At first the patient Mom she is, shushed me waving her hand in the air sorta dismissing me.

I continued my self pity mantra and still trying to be the patient person she is made an attempt to  encourage me, "We've been through worse We'll get through this too. Just rest. GO to sleep."

I sarcastically responded, "Yea! Right! We're in the hospital MOM." She shushed me once again.

A few minutes later,  I restarted my self pity, God just take me mantra again. But she was closer to me and SLAPPED me on the arm. It wasn't hard. She demanded, "STOP IT!"

Needless to say, I continued my prayers and wishes silently  thereafter.

As I am writing this I do recall in the ER when I would half wake up I saw her with her rosary in her hand pacing up and down our Storage Room.

We called our ER room the storage room because it seemed someone knocked and walked in to get something like blankets, IV poles, etc every few minutes.

I will stop here because I do not want this to be a drawn out post...Stay tuned to Meeting the Doctor(s)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Spontaneous Written Poem

I woke up this morning and had this need to write what I am feeling. I didn't work with it like I usually do for days for it to come out just right.  You'll see when you read it. If anyone has any suggestions for the title (I am terrible at titling), I would be so grateful. 

Oh and one more thing! No worries. I am NOT contemplating on committing suicide etc. 

Suffering is the journey to eternal bliss
Or so they say.
But isn't their any other way?

The BLACK hole once again appears.
It PUSHES on my chest.
It PARALYZES my mind.
It FORMS lumps in my throat.
It IMMOBILIZES s my body.
It makes people around me worried.

I KNOW what it is!
I WANT to fight i!.
I HAVE to fight it!
I HATE it!

I talk to God every day.
I ask for strength to able to close the hole.
Or give me a sign to show me the way.
But sometimes talking to him is like talking to a pole.

From experience I know he will answer in one way or another, in due time
In the meantime I will continue to love HIM like no other.
As I know he is with me..seen him three times, at the last minute, changing his mind
I want to see him again with opened arms.
But not turn me away. once again!
Give me the trip to eternal bliss with my one-way ticket!

Written by Justlittlecajunme


Monday, October 10, 2011


As I write Part II, I thought I'd post a video that someone sent me. The words hit me in the face! Thanks to Marla! I just became a fan of Matthew West!

Sunday, October 9, 2011


Disclaimer: If you are squeamish suggest you skip this post. 

Tuesday 12:30 am:  I vomited everything I ate. I was alone. MyLove was earning the big buckaroos. . Luckily I made it to the "Throne". I felt achy and generally awful.I crawled back into bed and half slept performing the deep breathe technique to soothe nausea my Pediatrician taught me eons ago.

1:30 AM to 4:30 AM- Repeat above. Except once, I didn't get up fast enough and as I was sprinting, half of it went into my hand and left a trail from bedroom to "Throne". It had changed to bile. After I finished, rinsed my mouth, took a wet towel. With brief breaks, I pushed a wet towel over the carpet to clean my mess. I guess I did a good job as MyLove told me he searched when he returned home and didn't find any remnants.

 I thought throughout the night, I need to go to the emergency room but did not want to wake up Mom. I think I drifted in and out of sleep.

After my 4:30 am emesis, the dry heaves arrived. Everything that was coming out,finally ended.  In my book, dry heaves are worse than vomiting. I felt, to put it bluntly, like SHIT. Again, I drifted in and out of sleep.

In the moments of wakefulness I contemplated if I could drive to New Iberia to see my Doc. I decided it was a bad idea as it is a 30 mile drive. I wondered if I should call MyLove but decided against that idea because I didn't want to worry him. Anyway, he was 2 hours away so he couldn't do anything. I thought of calling my daughter but again, didn't want to worry her and she only has a MOPED. I thought of calling my Cuz but again, didn't want to worry her. I did ponder about dialing 911 but didn't want the expense nor hurrah. I know that wasn't good but I am who I am. I wasn't ready to put down my pride.

I also decided when/if I call MOM, I wasn't going to make her drive all the way over here then drive all the way back.

 At 6 AM I called my parents and my dad answered. I asked to speak to her because 1) He is very hard of hearing and would have kept saying, "What? I don't understand?" OR when he would have been translating to Mom, it would have been a chore for him as he forgets one minute to the next sometimes..

She gets on the phone. My mom has had practice for 49 years so she knows the drill.  I started crying. She asked concerned but calm to actually calm ME as always, "What's wrong?"

Deep breath. "Can you take me to the hospital?"

She perked up and said, "I have to dress and brush my teeth. Do not move!"

But I did..I slipped some shorts under my  gown then unlocked the door and plopped onto my chair to wait. . I was so very weak and dizzy. About 45 minutes later, mom arrived. We walked slowly to the car with only my emesis basin and purse .

We make it to the hospital and they triaged me. A bulky RN who reminded me of a big giant teddy bear like was kind and gentle. I wish we would have written these RN and ER docs names.

My blood pressure was way up there, temp was 103.5 and I was shivering with teeth chattering. I couldn't walk because when I stood, I dry heaved. They wheeled me in the wheelchair to the waiting room but called my name within a few minutes.

They put me in a cold room that felt like a freezer.. I kept saying "F--K its cold!"

In response, my devout Christian Mom kept shushing me and reprimanding me. Bulky put 3 blankets with one warm against my skin. I kept telling him he was an ANGEL.

He left and came back. Evidently he had gone to talk to the busy ER Doctor. He returned and explained he was going to start an IV and give fluids, the Vampires and Radiologist. He started my IV, doing a wonderful job and I did tell him so.

The vampires came draw 5 vials of blood. I asked if they were going to leave me any blood. The Tech just laughed and said, "Sorry! Yea, really huh?"

Later, the Radiologist came get me and wheeled me in the bed to X-ray. All of this took place in about an hour or two.

Another RN, a cute little man (I'll name him  Ben as he looked like a Ben )  entered and talked to me about my history, Meds, etc. He told me the ER doctor was going to be coming.

Then we waited and waited. Bulky and Benjamin came in periodically to check on me and Mom. Bulky ended up giving me 2 more blankets. And I still shivered and was miserably cold.

Finally, the ER doctor,(Lets call him Doc) arrived and said my glucose was way low like 59. My weight was 79.5. I really cried when he told me my weight because I've been struggling. He told me he thought it was a virus that went into my intestine. With my immune system and malnourishment I couldn't fight it as well.  I informed him the low immune system is my life story. He gave me this long explanation I understood then but can't explain. He ordered a dose of Zofran IV for my nausea, glucose by IV, wait an hour and go from there.

Shortly after Doc departed,  Ben returned with the Zofran and orange juice with a packet of sugar. I dislike OJ because its so tart, but add made me gag but like an obedient patient I drank it. YUCKITY YUCK!

Waiting game began again. Same people checked in regularly informing the ER doc was coming back. Once, Bulky did my blood pressure when I was laying down, then he helped me stand up and checked blood pressure, my BP went erratic. I laid back down.

About 2 hours later and 2 glucose sticks (I hated that little sticker!) later Ben walked in and put up a little bag and attached it to my already big hanging bag. We watched it as it dripped. I slept off and on. Doc walked in while it dripped and said we were going to wait and see how I felt. He said he was concerned about my blood sugar fluctuating  and unstable blood pressure. He gave me the option to go home with nausea meds and I could follow-up with my doctor OR he had no problems admitting me and having me followed by the Hospitality Doctor with IV fluids etc. He told me to think about it.

More waiting ensued ...My mom and I discussed my options. She said she wasn't bringing me to my apartment.She was bringing me home since MyLove was out of tow.n. She was in her take charge motherly mode. I see it as caring and it is automatic to her as she has had to take charge many times.

I somehow slid to the foot of the bed a few times and the two Angels would come and pull me up with the sheet. The first time Bulky laughingly said, "You're less than the wind outside." We all laughed.

I thought about my options. I was scared myself. I finally declared "Defeated". So when Doc came in I told him I was game for admittance.

Two hours later, after 9 hours in ER I was wheeled to my room on 5th floor!

If your stomach is still intact or just plain interested. Stay Tuned :)

Saturday, October 8, 2011


The day after my birthday (Which I had a post scheduled so that's why it was posted with me actually not being here) I went on an impromptu hiatus. It was indeed not a pleasant one!

 I had to visit the emergency room and in turn, was admitted. I gave no arguments with the ER doctor. I felt that sick!

My hiatus will be written in several posts, not necessarily in any order or even consecutively.  

I am home now, still weak and don't feel up to par. But after I'm knocked down like that, it takes me a while to get back to my own "normalcy".

I had written in my last post that I felt like I was getting sick. I had NO idea!

BEWARE: I will try not to be graphic but know how some people have weak stomachs and wouldn't want to give you that kind of effect.

I will summarize in this post and cut it to the diagnoses. 

First, the staff at Regional Medical Center of Acadiana gave excellent care. From the triage nurse to the discharge nurse and everyone in between was awesome! And the hospital didn't seem to smell medicine and it wasn't drab. The bed could have held two of me LOL!

I was referred an Hospitalist Doctor since I have no doctor here in Lafayette because I tried a few specialists in this city and BOMBED big time. I kept my New Iberia Doctors.

Anyway after a slew of blood tests, x-rays and ultrasounds the results were that I had the virus that went to my intestines. In triage I had high blood pressure and a temp of 103.5! The HBP was due to my achiness, fever and hours of vomiting, we assume. I felt guilty for a second because of the patients who were probably there way before me and I just got swooped into the back.

Also, my blood sugars was way down..59. It kept going up and down throughout my stay.

I want to tell you if you have to stick yourself every day to check your glucose. I AM SO SORRY. That crap HURTS. The first time they did it, unexpectedly. I shouted, "SHITTT".  I'm not one to be afraid of needles but I was PISSED.

Wednesday, mom asked him his estimation of my stay and he said as soon as they get my blood sugars stable and able to eat a meal and keep it down. Has anyone tasted their nasty gravy?? 

So obviously I reached his goals and I am home. I feel better but not well. This hit me like a load of bricks! I have to pace myself even more. I feel like I have 10 lb weights on my ankles. And now that everything is over, sorta..I'm in a wanna cry mode. Just waiting for the culprit to hit me.

So that is what was wrong who asked.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

MyLove and I are working on a PROJECT! No one knows about the project except one. No wait, two. Anyway I trust them with my secret. Everyone shall know after the PROJECT is done. Hopefully, it'll be finished by Christmas. I AM so excited!

I think I am getting sick! "UGH". Fighting it and hope I win it but October to January is the worst times of year for me.

I am so behind on reading other blogs and Facebook statuses that I  have no idea if I will catch up. My apologies!

Although I wish it was under different circumstances  I had plenty of time with BabyGirl. I cried the night she went back to her apartment.. She is doing okay. Continuing to do well in her studies and working hard. Her arm is still in a sling but continues to drive her Moped. (Doc said she can take sling off while driving). The bruises are fading slowly but surely..

MyLove and I went to the mall Friday, I think. It was one day. His schedule makes me confused what day it is! To those who don't know. I HATE shopping and I hate the MALL even worse. However, he had to tend to his eyes. That is utterly ridiculous the price. If he didn't have insurance it would have cost him $700! Is that crazy or what?

However, I saw the gas price as low as 3.17!

I spent my Birthday alone and that's okay with me. It was beautiful. I spent time on my bench outside reading. I have been trying to read this one book for months now. Its written by John Irving. "A Prayer for Owen Meaning" is great. I just tend to read right before bed and I don't get too far. I like to read when its quiet so I can absorb everything I read!

Anyway, I just wanted to write something. I know this is boring. I am sorry. But thanks for reading anyway!

Monday, October 3, 2011


Birthdays are celebration! I wish my (Uncle) Robert and a very dear friend, who is now in the heavens looking upon us a very Happy Birthday and more. I share their birthday with my own. I thought it is time to reflect on my blessed 49 years.

People tend to believe I had a horrid childhood because of illnesses, surgery, doctors and hospitals. I won't lie and say it was a piece of cake but I survived. I have proved doctors wrong.

Instead of being "Mentally retarded and repeating grades", I passed every grade pretty well and graduated on time. I EARNED my LPN license with flying colors. I worked and enjoyed it!

At 30 God gave me a precious gift. She was my lifeline. She is the reason for me struggling through. 

Everyone who has passed through my life has taught me something about myself or life. I wish I could thank each and every one of them.

I look back and try to think of something I would absolutely change if I had a chance.  I can't say I do.

People often ask me if I could start over without my CP, would I? No, I would not. Yes, at one time or another I wished I could run, keep up with others, wiggle my toes or spread my legs wider (NOT what you are thinking)but I wouldn't have ever met people if I didn't have it

I can't say with a certainty that I wished I hadn't married because if I hadn't I would not have the gift previously mentioned.

Yesterday, my whole family (except one who was at work) got together and had a delicious stew my Godchild and his wife cooked. We also had strawberry cake which was totally awesome.I received  beautiful cards (really have to get those organized!). I attempted not to cry and succeeded but last night I reread them and cried.. It is all good though!

 I can look back and say overall that I am happy how I've led my life. I am indeed blessed!