Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Last Post….

of 2013 that is. I gotcha didn't I? 

Another year is coming to an end.  I look back at this time last year, MyHubby and I were "Homeless". The home buying process was coming to an end and there were delays of getting it on our property.  We spent Christmas and New Years living at my awesome Mother-in-law's. 

God works in mysterious ways because since then I think my MIL and I have bonded in certain ways. I think she has learned I am not totally disabled and am capable of taking care of her son. I have learned that she is only a concerned mother and she is full of more wisdom than I can imagine.

My health was overall stable until my hospital visit this month. It hit me hard. But I am still kicking. The tendinitis is still bugging me but oh well.

I used to make New Years Resolutions but I find them useless for me. 

Anyway our Christmas of 2013 was memorable. Christmas Eve, we shared it with Hubby's family. We went to the Memorial service in remembrance of his dad and all others who had lost a loved one. I think it is a beautiful event.  After we enjoyed a nice dinner at my brother-in-laws home and visited with his nieces and mother.

Christmas Day, we went to my niece's as my sister is remodeling her home so my niece volunteered. She was a great hostess. We again had a great meal. I was able to meet my second great nephew. Now we have 3 small children in our family again. It was fun to see them.

The oldest is 2 year old Andrew who is very busy, energetic and all boy. 

Then there is cutie pie 1-1/2 year old all girl Lillian, happy, quiet and rather do her own thing.

Jonah is the youngest 5 months who is also a happy boy who wouldn't cry with anyone who picked him up. I got the chance to hold him, kiss him and squeeze the cut little cheeks (Softly). 

The blessing was everyone was there. Sometimes someone was offshore or off to another place. This year all of my family was together. 

Oh and I met BabyGirl's boyfriend for the first time. I gave him a subtle short talk about not hurting my daughter. He took it well. I wasn't able to talk to him one to one like I would have liked to but if he is around I'm sure I'll get to know him more. He seems like a nice wholesome guy.

After we left there we decided to go see if my BFF, JoAnn was home. She lives right down the road from my sister and niece. My niece lives a few doors down from my sister. 

The few times I had gone no one was home. They didn't even know where we lived. But our friendship is like that. We may not talk to each other for months or even years, but we continue where we left off. Miraculously, she was there with her crazy husband and her Mom who I hadn't see in a long time.

JoAnn's husband and I get along great. We pull tricks on each other and jokingly insult each other. I am thankful my best friend finally found this man. She deserves the best.

They have an X-box for when her grand kids go. We checked it out. It is pretty cool. It is better than the Wii and PlayStation that we have. I laughed until I cried watching MyHubby and Joann play a game. It was so funny to see their faces and movements. Ahh that will be a memorable time.

We came home later than we expected but it was all worthwhile. 

We are going back to my brother-in-law's New Year's Day to have a meal and watch some LSU football!!!!! GEAUX TIGERS!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I wish you a safe and Happy New Year! Be careful if you go out New Year's Eve or Day!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Paying For Daddy's Meal

Since the few previous posts were rather drab, it's time to make you chuckle.

Let me tell you about my Daddy. He has always been a loving and supporting father. He has worked hard and continue to do so even retired. He is busy busy busy although he had a stroke at a young age, around 1984. I remember around that time because I was working. Ever since then he has an aneurysm and many other problems and is not in the best of health. Due to a combination of his medical history and working in a very loud hoist building at a salt mine for many years, he is hard of hearing, especially in a public venue with a lot of people talking and noise.

At the beginning of each month, my Mom's sisters and brothers get together at a local restaurant. Somehow MyHubby and I have infiltrated their get-together. It's the only time I would see some of my aunts and uncles. I enjoy their company and the food. No one has kicked us out so we try to go every month although it is an hours drive one way.

My Daddy's birthday was at the beginning of this month. My mom was at retreat at the time of the monthly dinner. So MyHubby and I decided to treat Daddy.

We arrived at the restaurant first so we told the waitress to put Daddy on our bill but don't tell him. We knew he would refuse and give us a hard time. 

After the delicious meal, the waitress started giving out bills. Daddy was watching her intently. As she was walking away after giving everyone their bills I heard Daddy loudly ask her where was his bill. She completely ignored him. I don't know if she just didn't hear or totally ignored him for our sake. 

I saw his eyes follow the waitress. When she came closer he jokingly asked if he was eating free. She laughingly responded, "Yes you sure are!" 

He likes to joke as well.

He thought she was joking with him and he said, "Oh okay." He was not convinced and was really confused.

Everyone had their credit cards and cash out and the waitress eventually picked them up. 

Again, Daddy stated to her that he still hasn't received a bill.  She chuckled. "Maybe you don't have one."

I saw the look of confusion on his face. Maybe he just couldn't hear her clearly or he was really confused.

As she passed out the receipts she was chatting with us and skipped Daddy. Daddy said, "Everyone got their bills but me."  She just laughed.

I could tell it was time to tell him with the look on his face of growing agitation and it was already done so he couldn't argue with us. 

Hubby was sitting next to Daddy with me next to Hubby. I told Hubby to tell Daddy not to worry about it. It's paid.

Daddy said, "Oh really? Who?" 

As I said, Daddy has many medical issues and his memory loss is one of them. I can tell him one thing and the next breath he will ask or say something about what I had just said.

He said, "Really?" He scans the room.

I gestured to him and mouthed, "Don't worry about it."

With his hand to his ear, he asked, "What?"

I can't yell over the noise so tapped Hubby to tell him it is paid for already.

Hubby turns to Daddy, "Don't worry about it, your meal is paid for."

Daddy finally gets it! And starts refusing. I walked up to him and scolded, "No, just hush.  It's done. Happy Birthday!" I never hush my Daddy by the way. 

He continued to dig in his wallet. I said in his ear, "It's all paid for Daddy!"

He asked, "The tip?" I confirmed it was paid for too.

He thanked us and I am grateful he just took it in stride. I think he was relieved that his mystery was solved.

We did give the waitress a little extra for playing along with us.

My parents don't often let their kids pay for anything and it is nice to just have them LET us pay once in a while.

Does your parents give a hard time when you want to do something nice for them?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

My Latest Mantra

I've been sitting here thankful I didn't have to go anywhere. Early this morning I transferred from my bed to Hubby's chair in Media room. I grabbed remote and watched couple of hours of TV. Got up, took meds, grabbed Ensure, heated brunch in microwave and plopped again in Hubby's chair.

I ate, shuffled dishes back to sink in kitchen and washed, saved dishes Hubby washed, and shuffled to my chair and between potty breaks this is where I stayed.

Oh I did pick up the phone and order something for our Christmas meal that I'll hopefully pick up Monday after my follow-up appointment.

I stared outside, it's a gloomy day to fit my mood. The wind was so strong I thought our roof was going to fly away.  I was thankful I did not have to get out in this yucky weather.

Then I sat and thought. I thought of stuff I should not be thinking about. I thought of what the new year may bring. At least we'll start our New Year in a home. We were homeless living with my MIL until our home was ready.

I thought about where I am going? Where will I be? I've told Hubby several times lately, it's like I am in a rut.

I guess God solved that giving me the medical crisis. It's not the kind of resolution I was thinking of but I guess its his answer. 

Maybe its an example of watching out what you wish for.

Hubby told me that he regrets not bringing me to the doctor that Monday, it could have avoided the hospitalization. He may be right. But looking at the bright side, he says, I did get to see a few people I had not seen in ages, otherwise. He is right. 

Oh yea, I think I need to post that blog post. Gawd I can't remember anything if my life depended on it.

At the end of a year, a lot of people who had a great year wants to continue into the following year. The people who had a dreadful or semi good year wishes for a better year.

Well I'm all wished out. Even if I wish simple things, it never comes true. The hits just keep coming.

I know there are many people who are worse off than me. There are others who have no food, shelter or family.  I know I am having my very own pity party.

My latest mantra is, "I just wish it would stop!"

What do I mean by that? Your guess is as good as mine. 

No, I'm not on a suicidal mission so no worries. It shall pass.

I just want a life for one year throwing NO curves. 

If you made it this far, thanks for stopping by and reading it through!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Update Medical Status

So here I am once again. I did a disappearance act again. My Hubby dropped me off at my Mom's Sunday night so she could bring me to the doctor since Hubby had taken off the week before to be by my side in the hospital.

Let me just say this. My parents and I have been through ALOT of stuff through the years. But my mom and I are close because she has been by my side every minute I needed her to be. We've been through a lot of stuff together through the years. I cannot comprehend what I would have done without her help. I am blessed that I can count on her. I can tell she is aging and she is into a lot of things but she will drop everything for her kids, grand kids and great grand-kids. I am so very lucky to have an awesome mom like her.

Not to undermine what my Dad does for me. He is just in a different spectrum. He was the one making the money to supporting his family and taking care of my sister when Mom was busy with me. I know also if I call him and tell him I need him, he will be there. As a matter of fact, the day I was admitted to the hospital, my mom was held up with a grand kid but he came see about me, although I vaguely remember it.

Anyway. Hubby was reluctant because he wanted to be there but I told him he needed to work. He took the time off for me for three days last week without hesitation.  So the next morning Mom brings me to the Gastrointestinal Doctor's office. I, once again, did not see the doctor but the Nurse Practitioner. She only repeated what she said in the hospital. She told me to go back the next day to do a gastroscopy. She said they may need to do a esophageal dilation which I figured already.

For a gastroscopy also known as EGD, upper endoscopy or esophagogastroduodenoscopy, a tube is inserted through the mouth into the stomach and upper intestine.

We weren't expecting it to be so soon but relieved it was. MyHubby was going to take off work again but my Mom told him she was going to be there regardless if he was there or not. I told him he did not have to be there. I would not hold it against me. He had been doing a lot of back and forth already. I told him he could just sleep at home again and go to work while mom takes me to do the test. He could come pick me up the afternoon after the test.  I know he felt like he was being pulled and didn't want me to feel neglected by him. We promised he would be notified of the results and after it was over. It wasn't like I was having surgery.

The next morning I had to be there for 10:30 am without eating or drinking anything after midnight. There was a full waiting room. I handed the filled-out paperwork the Nurse Practiticioner gave me the day before. We waited and waited.

On the paperwork they covered themselves stating to arrive expecting to be there for most of the day. They weren't kidding!

Their process was they called you, went over the paper work, collected whatever money you may owe, tagged you with a name bracelet and sent you back out to wait some more.

When it was my turn to be tagged, I was NOT on the schedule.  To make a long frustrating story short, luckily I had the brochure with me with the date on it. They finally tagged me and sent me back out. I figured this was going to take longer because they had to call my insurance.

I blame the Nurse Practiticioner for not doing her job.

Anyway, at 11:55 am they finally called me. 12 noon they wheeled me into the room. Finally, I see the Doc for a few seconds while the Nurse inserted my IV. (She had to stick me twice, I am so tired of being stuck!) The anesthesiologist came explaining he is going to push some sedation medication into the IV and I'll fade out. He put the syringe into the IV port and the next thing I knew I was waking up at 12:36 pm. There was a clock I could see so that's how I know the times.

The test resulted in a few findings:

1)  Confirmation of gastritis, inflammation of the stomach lining.
2)  Esophageal ring: Not stricture: A narrowing at the end of the esophagus that was inflamed.
3)  A small hiatal hernia.

They dilated my esophagus and changed my Nexium to Prilosec and I will continue my Flagyl until it is all gone. I am going to see him or the NP, most likely Monday for follow-up.

MyHubby came pick me up after work. We came home and I was wiped out. I climbed into bed around 8:30 pm.

I can tell it will be a slow recovery from my hospital stay and procedure. Please pray that I get the strength and patience with myself to listen to my body and slow down as I did this morning.

Christmas was weighing on my mind. I left this morning and went to Wallyworld. I found the two Santa Gifts I needed and picked up my Prilosec along with a few items. I could tell my body was telling me to stop.

I made it through check out, got to my car, put my items in trunk, drove to Wendys, which is on my way home and picked up a potato. I came home, grabbed the bags of cold stuff leaving the other bags for Hubby to get when he gets home. I ate my delicious potato. AAAhhh!! REAL FOOD! Then I literally plopped into bed and slept for a few hours. I am done for the day.

I need to let go of my pride some and allow Hubby to make dinner tonight. You have no idea how hard that is to do.

Anyway that is where I am now as far as medical.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Hospitalization: Reason for Disappearance

Hey Everyone! Yep! It's littlecajunme!

It has been one hellish week. I saw a lot of comments to be published and a lot of blog posts. I am so sorry I have been unresponsive to these as well as private messages, emails, etc. I don't know when I will be able to catch up so I can't promise a certain day but do know that I will eventually. I love every one of you and don't want anyone to feel ignored. After you hear my explanation I am hopeful that you will understand. Thank you!

For the past few weeks my tummy has been bothering me, but it came and went. I had planned to make an appointment with my GI doctor. 

Last Saturday and Sunday I was feeling drained and my tummy had some dull cramping. 

Sunday, Hubby and I ate pizza while watching the Saints game. It did not stay in my tummy, if you know what I mean. I will not give details. I started dry heaving thereafter.

Monday morning I called my GI doctor. He has an office in Lafayette, nearest me (about 30 minutes one way) and one in New Iberia, where most of my other doctors are (55 minutes one way depending on traffic.). Of course, the earliest appointment in the Lafayette office would be Dec 18th. The earliest in New Iberia would be the Wednesday so I grabbed it.

I was weak, my tummy was hurting and I just didn't feel good. I dry heaved almost nonstop. Literally! I have a history of dehydration after nausea and vomiting. All I was keeping down was water which I considered good because it would continue to hydrate me, or so I thought.

On that day and the next day, we were trying everything to maintain my strength. I was in bed the whole time except to potty. MyHubby was really concerned. (He even told me later that he had tears seeing me this way. I feel so bad for that. UGH!) I was concerned about myself but shhhhh..I'll never admit it.

He bought me Popsicles and it came right back up after consumption. He cooked mashed potatoes which sometimes calm my stomach. It didn't come back up but I was only able to eat 1/4 cup. I  continued to dry heave until I got to the doctor. 

Hubby took off work for my appointment. He had to literally pick me up (He didn't bother trying to change me out of my jammies) and put me on the back seat of the car. On the way, he suggested we should just go to the ER. I told him we're going to the GI doctor, who could figure it out. Against his better judgment he brought me to the doctor's office.

He carried me into the office and sat me down. The receptionist saw me and must've told his Assistant. They called me right away while there was a room full of patients waiting. The Assistant told us to go to the ER. She said I was very dehydrated and malnourished. There was nothing they could do there. I would need fluids and tests. "SIGH!!"

Yes, later on I put my big girl panties on and told MyHubby he was right.

MyHubby picked me up, carried me to the car, laid me back onto the back seat and drove around to the hospital that was next door. He drove to the ER door, got me out of the car and carried me into ER where the ER personnel took over.

Thank God I don't weigh much and he is a strong man!

I was a little incoherent. And the rest of the day was blurry. The people MyHubby said arrived in ER  to see about me is like they were in a dream. I don't remember what neither one of us said. I wasn't even sure if it was real. 

Nurses inserted an IV with anti nausea med and fluids and the dry heaving FINALLY stopped. They poked and prodded me. My blood sugar was very low among my electrolytes.

I was admitted and bedridden with IV, cardiac monitor and urine catheter.

The following days were full of pokes, and prods, beepers, people walking in and out. Some were like vampires taking vials of my blood. I slept in-between everything. I remember thinking I just want to sleep!

By Thursday I was doing pretty good and was being discharged. Someone made a boo boo  and ordered a regular diet. I ate a portion of it and it came up again. Discharge was postponed until Friday night.

There is a lot in between I want to share with you in those days but will do at a later date. I am pooped.

The cause of it all is a mystery. The diagnosis kept coming up as "maybe gastritis," dehydration and malnourished. As MyHubby said the only thing that was take care of were the symptoms. There was never a definitive diagnosis.

I do feel better somewhat. I am keeping soft foods and Ensure down. It's progress.

I was not walking for several days. When I was finally out of the bed it was like learning to walk all over again. It felt like 2 lead weights on my legs. It's hard for me to get from Point A to Point B with LESS then the little balance I already have. So FREAKING FRUSTRATING!

Add weakness, aches and pains from the whole ordeal and you get one sickly half-grumpy little person 

I keep the grumpiness to myself with the exception of a discussion with an insurance representative who won't approve my anti nausea medicine. In the end I can't get that med because doctor is ER doctor and they need a fax to get prior authorization. Yes that is right. I have to get prior authorization for a prescription a DOCTOR who wrote it! I told her they better hope I don't get nauseous because if I do, I will be coming after them when I recover like a bat out of hell! I enforced it with "Don't think this is a threat, it is a freaking promise!"

I have a follow-up with my GI doctor on Monday and a follow-up with Family Doctor Wednesday. 

Such Joy! Not! But I continue on trudging.

Anyway, I hope this is a sufficient explanation of my disappearance. 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Christmas Memories--My First Bicycle

I have been trying to catch up with some of my blogs I follow. One of them, Pam on Mommacan.com has been blogging about Nostalgic Christmas Gifts. It is fun to go back and remember toys as a child. Be sure to check out her blog!

I started thinking about my favorite gifts I received as a child.

The one that comes to mind the most was when I received my very first two wheeled bicycle. You see I was told I would never be able to ride a bicycle because of balance issues from the CP. But I did. I had learned on my sister's old bicycle with training wheels. If you want to know the story how I learned to ride a bike, go here.

Anyway the Christmas I received my very own two wheel blue boys' bicycle I had pneumonia and couldn't go out to ride it. It looked similar to this.

We were living on Avery Island in a small two bedroom house. There was a straight shot from the kitchen into the living room., barely enough to ride the bike up and down. However, that day my parents made an exception of allowing me to ride a bicycle in the house. I still remember that day of excitement and pride.

Looking back, it was so weird how I got on the bike.  Instead of swinging my leg back over the seat to get on as every other child I knew did, I would stand on the side of the bike and move my left forward over the bars to get onto the bike. I know it is hard to imagine but it is called improvising.

I think that was my most favorite gift all!

Stay tuned about my other memories of Christmas.

If you like, share your favorite Christmas memory with my followers and me.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Dream: BabyGirl Got Married

I have such vivid dreams! Of course BabyGirl was in this one. But she wasn't young. Actually she was a young woman in a beautiful white dress. She was getting married but she was blubbering big time. I kept asking her what's wrong. She would just look at me and cry. The conversation went like this:

She sobbed throughout but able to respond to a few questions.
Me: What's wrong?
Her: She was sobbing so hard she couldn't talk.
Me: Look, you don't have to marry right now. You can back out even if you are on the altar.
Her: (Still sobbing) But I love him.
Me: If you have doubts, don't marry him. Don't make the mistake.
Her: But Mom I love CHARLES!

I continued to tell her all the things Mothers tell their daughters when they are getting married. Be sure this is what you want. You can back out anytime. You can wait longer.

This went on seemingly forever over and over.

Dream scene changed and I was walking her down the aisle of what appeared to be an auditorium. I was on one side of her and a creepy looking man was on her other side. It was not her father.

She sobbed nonstop.

I woke up.

Funniest part is she has never dated any Charles that I know of and her boyfriend's name is not Charles.

Have no analysis on this one.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

How We Celebrated Our 2nd Anniversary

Yesterday as you know, if you read yesterday's post, we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

I want to share with you how we spent it.

We started by swinging by the main library we us to finally pick Once Upon A Time Season II that we have been waiting months for. We continued on our journey to UL College to meet BabyGirl to give her some money she needed. It was a quick stop and go. But I got to see her. She is still alive and beautiful.

I have a simple request. Say a little prayer that she gets through finals this and next week. After this semester she has one left and then she goes to grad school or however she tends to pursue her lifelong career. She keeps changing her mind so your guess is just as good as mine.

Then we made our way to another library on that end of the city to pick up a movie Hubby had requested there.

Leaving there, we weaved through the crazy traffic and arrived at our destination--Rooms to Go. Our plan was to reacquaint ourselves to what was available. We have ideas of what we want.

We want a small dining table to fit 4 chairs. We already have the four chairs his mother is giving us, They were re-stained and in process of putting fabric seating. It is hard to match the stain and find a small table. A lot of the tables we saw were for 6-8 people or pub style that were high. Also the few small ones we saw were glass. I am not keen on glass. Hubby says it may be a good idea as it is easier to match. He has a point. But I am still thinking about it and looking.

We also needed a bed and two bedside tables with mattress which I am happy to say we found what we wanted. The bed is so cool! The mattress will be so comfy. You can check out the bed frame here.

We were also looking at consoles and media room chairs. I am tired of the wall unit we have. It was a nice wall unit my parents had given me as a new home gift when BabyGirl's father and I had bought a new home years ago.  I am tired of it.  We found a cool console but we weren't sure about the measurements.

Note: I had mentioned to Hubby that maybe we need to take measurements before we left. But he sorta shrugged it off saying we were just going to look. Shall I say more? I was the good little wife that didn't utter "I told you so."

We're having our differences in the height of the console. I keep telling myself it is mainly his man cave so I need to let him make his own decision. I did voice it but he said I will be in it just as much as him as that's where our television is.

We also want sofa-type theater seats with two seats with the cup holders on each end. However, all we find is the cup holders in the middle. We do want to snuggle on the couch! Also, the ones we saw are leather. He doesn't necessarily like the leather. I suspect we will be looking some more for this.

We didn't buy anything because if we get the console, we want to buy it all together. We are going back Thursday to at least buy the bedroom set!

The salesman, James who waited on us was so nice and gave no pressure although he always around when we had questions. He asked us when we would be going back. Randal said maybe tomorrow. He gave us his card and cell phone number because he is off Wednesday but he would come in for us. Now how sweet was that?  I need to remember to write a complimentary note after our transactions are done. However, we know how precious days off are so we will go Thursday instead.

After spending about 1 hour there we moseyed onto Basset Furniture. They can customize our two media chairs the way we want them in fabric…for double the price of our whole bedroom set.  We are contemplating.

We will be looking around some more for the items we are still iffy on. The bed was one of the most important items we really needed. We accomplished it.

By that time, I felt my tendinitis becoming irritated and I was getting tired. It was time to take a breather.

We went eat at one of our favorite places, Logan's Steakhouse. Hubby had the grilled Salmon with sauteed mushrooms and rice pilaf. I had the 6 oz Angus beef sirloin with a loaded potato and skewered grilled mushrooms. They have also started serving my favorite drink DR PEPPER!! Everything was delicious and I have been stuffed since :).

In the middle of lunch  he asked if I wanted to go the movies. Just out of the blue. We had discussed maybe seeing a movie this week since he is on vacation but wasn't expecting that day. LOL.

We went see Hunger Games II. We had just seen Hunger Games I and I loved it. I am not going to give any spoilers. But being that it is a trilogy it has to have cliffhanger. The first open ender wasn't so bad but this one I dislike. Otherwise, great movie. A lot of violence but love the story.

 I almost want to read the books. But history has shown if I read a book then watch the movie, I am disappointed in the movie. I always rather the books than the movie.

For example, lets take the Harry Potter Books and movies. BabyGirl and I read every Harry Potter book. We were one of the 1000's in line at Barnes and Nobles the night they came out at midnight. It was our tradition. BabyGirl read each Harry Potter at least 10 times, some more than that. So she knew the books very well. You can ask her if you don't believe me. She started reading it the moment we got into the car and didn't stop until she was finished. Thank God it was always on a weekend night.

We anticipated the movies. They were a let down for me. The movies were longer than any other movie at the time. As I watched I was confused because they had cut some out. I thought it ruined the story. But it is only my opinion.

So that's why I am conflicted if I should read the books or not. I probably won't. I 'll get over the disappointing ending.

The movie ended our day and we made it back home in one piece.

I consider that a great Anniversary outing!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Second Year Anniversary

After yesterday's dreary post I have a more uplifting one today.

Today is MyLove and I's second wedding anniversary.  

We laugh when I was in 7th grade he was joining the military.

He came into my life when I least expected it. He didn't turn it upside down. He blended into my BabyGirl and I's lives.

When we became serious, he had a heart to heart discussion with my daughter. He told her he was not going to try to replace her dad but he would be there for her always.  He knew she was the most important person in my life and he took it upon himself to have that discussion. He made her promises that he has always kept. He never backed out of them no matter how much MyBabyGirl pushed him away or just didn't respond. Thankfully, things have progressed to where they are okay with each other now. But that gesture will always be in my heart.

We've had some obstacles along the way but we have handled it…together.

Our relationship has shown me what a a real relationship should be. It is odd. I was married for 20+ years to another man and have never felt so accepted and loved like with this man.

We are so alike in many ways and but yet different in some.

We were both married before. I had a child while he didn't have any.

I was raised in one place for the first 18 years of my life. His family traveled so he never stayed in one place for long.

Throughout my life I have never had a healthy life. He had a healthy life except for that year with kidney cancer that he has recovered from.

Both of us love to play games. I rather word and shooter games. He likes strategic and sports games. They are all either PC, Wii or PS3.

I was an old fashioned cook using a microwave for heating only. He was a microwave cooker. He bakes and I hate it.  I have learned to use the microwave for cooking certain things.

We both can spend a whole afternoon in the same room but not speak any words to the other.

He likes military and history movies. I like romance and crime/drama.

We both like Classic rock but I'm more into the 70-80s while he likes the 60s-70s.

My temper is quick but it takes a lot to light his fuse. When he does, watch out.

He has more patience than me.

We both don't care for shopping.

That's just to name a few.

We would have never met if it was not for online dating. To think I almost didn't call him.

We are celebrating by going dine out and furniture shop. 

So everyone have a great day!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Mumble Jumble: No Motivation

I have had no motivation whatsoever. To do much of anything.

I can blame it on my recent gastrointestinal problems or any one of my medical malady. I can blame it on the cold. I can blame it on the holiday season stress. 

I don't know. I can't pinpoint the problem. I wish I could.

First, I don't have the motivation to read any of my favorite blogs I enjoy much less write my own. I have several in draft, completed. I just need to click publish but I don't have motivation to do that. I keep going over it and editing. I don't think it is good enough yet. I sometimes think I am not good enough to write. However, I remind myself when I started this blog, it was sorta like a diary, but publicly sharing my life to show others even with disabilities we go through the same joys and obstacles than those without. 

I have fellow bloggers and others say I have a gift and write well. It means a lot to me and thank them. Why don't I believe it?

I also have lost interest in Facebook, not that I ever had much interest in it in the first place. The only reason I maintain it is to keep in touch with my family and friends. If you think about it, its a shame. You have to go to a website to see what the most important people in your life are doing. There is something wrong with that.

I dread the holidays. I love the reason for the season, Jesus. I also enjoy the family time. But the rest such as shopping, fighting traffic and stressing I can do without. I find Christmas has become so commercialized it is ridiculous. The whole purpose of the Christmas Season is forgotten by I bet 50% or more of the population.

There are some things bothering the hell out of me in regards personal matters. Although I have voiced my thoughts before about certain things, the response has been rather condescending and 'it is what it is." But why is that I always have to conform to the changes. Or if I say okay, well then I'll do my own thing I am looked at as the bad person.

MyHubby says I should say how I just need to make my decisions on what makes me happy and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They sure as hell don't worry or care about what I think.

He is right. But it is hard. It's frustrating and maddening.

I have been praying asking God to give me direction and strength. Either I am not listening or he has his plan that he doesn't want me know about just yet.

Sorry about the rambling. I just wanted to let all of you great people who read my blog that I am around and do care about all of you but I'm just in a rare mood at this point. I am sure it shall pass.

Have a wonderful Holiday Season! Be careful and enjoy!