Sunday, May 29, 2011

Hot Dog vs. Chili Dog

Hey I noticed yesterday, it was my 100th post AFTER I published it. And coincidentally, it was about MyBabyGirl, one of the most important people in my life, how coincidental is that!

My love and I have debates on what constitutes a hot dog and what constitutes a chili dog .

When I was growing up, a hot dog was a a weenie with chili with condiments and a chili dog was just bread, chili and condiments with NO weenie.

His version of a hot dog is weenie, bread and condiments and a chili dog is a hot dog with chili and condiments.

So what is YOUR version of a hot dog?

My favorite dog, by MyLove's description version is Bread, weenie, mustard, onions, chili. I don't get having a regular hot dog with NO chili. But have eaten a chili dog without the weenie.

MyLove's thought process is if you have a package of 8 hot dog buns and a package of 8 wieners, we should have the same of both. However, sometimes I don't feel like having a wiener so I use a Hot Dog BUN with chili and condiments, NO wiener. So that explains more wieners than buns.

I guess its one of those things, as a couple we will never agree upon :). Another thing to make him think I'm nuts :).

Oh well....Here's a funny pic I got off Facebook

Saturday, May 28, 2011

My Baby Girl

I guess blogger is having more issues or its my computer. Yesterday or the day before I was able to login correctly and comment. But I just came in the back way. I am hoping this post is able to publish.

Why is it that when software or a website has problems, the company tell you to either a)Delete and redownload or 2) Clear cache, cookies etc?


I still get mail for my Baby Girl. I received something in the mail for her and told her on facebook because :
1) She doesn't have internet at her apartment YET.
2) She dropped her phone in soup and it works sometimes and when it does, we lose connection
3) She will respond faster if I message her on Facebook or if she doesn't, her girlfriend tells her I am trying to get in touch with her.

I know! PATHETIC! But its what our world has come to.

Anyway, she came unannounced because she had gone to her dad's wife's home to get more mail and realized they had left for the weekend for Memorial Day. You know how blondes have the steroetype of Dumb Blonde or Scatterbrained Blonde? No offense to you blondes out there!

 Well, my child is Scatterbrained Blonde. Don't tell her I said that though! She is so smart in academics but when it comes down to every day stuff, God help us all and she has been that way since she was born!

We had a nice visit. Short. But nice. She has announced that she put her right mailing address to where she is now because she plans on staying where she is for the next few years while she is in colllege. THANK YOU GOD!

When I hug her I don't want to let her go! I don't know what it is. In a way I feel slighted. I know I am not. We have a great relationship and she makes an effort to come see me at least once a week or we go do something together.

As a parent, I realize how strong a parent's love for their child can be. I love her so much. I never have enough time with her it seems.

At least she just stands there now and lets me love up on her. Yea! I think she senses I need that. Just put my arms around her and wet her cheeks with my kisses. Today, I hugged her and just stayed there for a few minutes. She asked, "Mom, you're gonna let me go?" I wanted to say, "Hell No! I'm keeping you! I am going to put you in your room and lock it so when I want I can go in and hold you and hug you anytime I want!"

However, that would be so selfish.  Instead, I let her go, walked her to her car, grabbed another hug and kiss and watched her drive away.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Blogger Problems

As some of you know Blogger is having problems. THerefore, as hard as I am trying I cannot comment. I go to the comment box and click Google account, it brings me back to sign in. When I sign in with my correct password and email, it says wrong login information. However if I click Sign In or Sign out, whichever it decides on that certain click, I go back to the last page of my blog.

So I am not totally ignoring your comments. I just can't comment or login properly. "UGH".

As soon as blogger fixes it, I will comment.

Thanks to my loyal followers!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

First things first--Thank you to all my followers. I noticed today that I got another follower. I have 9 followers and I am honored. COOL. I appreciate it, especially those who also comments. I am trying to catch up reading and commenting but its a slow process since I've been a little busy.

One more thing about my Spiritual  experience yesterday. However, this particular incident didn't happen yesterday. Never thought about it much.

I was about 9 years old, I think.  Kids do such stupid things if you know what I mean. I think it was after Christmas or New Years, there were popped fireworks scattered all over.

Sitting on the ground, with an already popped firework in one hand and a lit pump in the other. My parents pressed on constantly to put the firecracker on the ground before lightning. My 9 year old mine didn't think it was any harm as it had popped already. So I decide to jam the pump in the whole of the firework.


It popped in my hand! I ran to my mom screaming! It hurt like hell and I was crying! She grabs me and runs to a man across the street. His name was Mr. Segura or I think it was. I can't remember his first name and its bugging me LOL. Anyway, he did this chant/prayer over my hand for a while. It had stopped burning. Mom brought me home and put some Neosporin and wrapped it.

If I remember right, it healed rather fast! I haven't been an avid firework popper since!

Yesterday as our Spiritual experience ended, the lady gave out another cloth. Here it is:
As you can tell I am not much of a photographer but the message says it all. God is Love!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Healing Services-Spiritual

As previously posted, my mom called me yesterday informing me of a healing service that was taking place today at a local church hall. She asked if I was interested in going with her. She had never been. She told me it was an hour and a half and they anoint the people to heal their illness whether it be physical or mental.

If you, have read any of my posts or you know me well enough, you can gather, I've been sick all my life pretty much. I have cerebral palsy, lung disease and if its not one thing its another medical woe. I've lived it for 48 years and don't see it changing.

No need to be sorry or sympathetic. Everyone lives their life differently and mine just so happens to be that way. Once a Jesuit Priest told me that suffering is a journey to God's eternity. It's what keeps me going.

I love my mom and I know she means well. I know she prays and meditates for me. I thought, "well it won't hurt." After all, the last couple of weeks had been hairy and I wondered if God was calling me lately. Also if I wanted to weasel out of it, I would have to come up with something as I had absolutely nothing planned.  So I said yes. So we made plans for me to meet her at her house (20 miles away) and we would go together.

 I prayed last night before I fell asleep as I do every night. I also thought how I was so skeptical about these "HEALING MIRACLES" you see on TV, or the evangelists preaching etc. I know I can't be miraculously cured of all things but maybe I can get a step closer to understanding God and the meaning of all my whole life. I also had a notion that it was important to my mom and after everything she has done for me I can do this one thing for her.

Remember, we had no clue what we were getting into. We arrived and two pleasant older ladies were outside. My mom knew them, as she knows almost everyone or so it seems.  They directed us. I was amazed how many people were there in the middle of a day. Of course, most were the retired elderly but there were some middle aged and even another disabled man walked in later. There were already about 3 classroom-like rooms full to capacity. There were 25 people in our room.

After taking a seat and as the desks filled in our room we whispered to one another. It was like I was in church without kneeling or praying but able to speak.  One of the leaders, a medium size confidently looking brunette handed out a piece of paper and told us to write our Petition and put it in a woven basket. Father Manny will take them to Lourdes and bless them and pray on them.

I had no idea what to write, at first. But it ended up a half page. I could have written more but I thought I would be too greedy and I wanted him to get to others as well. After all, I know it feels to be bombarded with so many requests at once.

Another leader, this one a little on the heavy side told us after the petition, the rosary would be said and then the anointment would take place. In the other room, the rosary started and we prayed. After,  they took the lights off and we heard soft mellow music through the speakers. We waited and waited.

I glanced at people who seemed they had done this before and some were reading a prayer book, some seemed like they were sleeping, some were obvious praying and there were some doing what I was doing, seeing what everyone else was doing. I realized this could be a long wait so I just closed my eyes, listened to the music and prayed, talking to God in my own way.

After some time passed and listening to someone talking in the other room. I assumed it was the priest. A different dark haired lady with a pile of small cloth entered. She was passing them out. She explained it was blessed by Father and we can keep them wherever we wanted. She said if we want to make it smaller, its okay to cut them in half or pieces Whether it be in your pocket, on your head, where you would like the healing to be done, head, chest, stomach, anywhere you feel fit. She walked around giving one to each but when she got to me, she accidentally pulled two and one fell on the floor. She apologized and said she couldn't bend because of her back as I instinctively got up and picked it up. As I thought, she verbalized, "God is showing that you need that little extra help." The room chuckled.

I took it as a sign. A sign of what? I grasped it in my hand, closed my eyes and asked God to tell me what was his purpose doing that. When I opened my eyes, I read it. "Nothing is Impossible with God." I chanted it to myself.  I had this strong urge to cry but I did not want to embarrasss myself. I closed my eyes again and just prayed and thanked God for directing me to him in this way.

I am putting one under my pillow or in my pillowcase and gave one to MyLove.

After a short time, the priest, Father Manny Fernandez walked in informally. He said the prayer,

 O Holy Spirit,
Beloved of my soul,
 I adore You. 
Enlighten me, guide me, Strengthen me, Console me,
Tell me what I should do.
 Give me Your orders.
 I promise to submit myself to all that You desire of me.
And to accept all that You permit to happen to me.
Please God, the Holy Spirit,
Let me only know Your will ... Amen.

Then he walked person to the first person. I was watching intently to see what to do. He dipped his finger into some warm-like oil and did the Sign of the Cross on both palms then he went to the forehead and he  did the same thing...but something happened...I was almost freaking out...It seemed he was doing something to him as he was doing the sign of the cross as the person's head was falling back then when the head got into a certain position he mumbled something and went onto the other person.

The person he had just left stayed in that position. There was this one man that had his head on his hands in prayer  when Father got to him and when Father did the sign of the cross, his whole top torso swayed and fell to his right side. TO me it was like he was going to fall out of his chair and I almost instinctively got up to help him but I looked at Mom and she just nodded meaning it was okay. That man was just limp with his eyes closed after Father moved to the next person.

I was nervous by that time and thought wow I want to be that limp. Father finally gets to me. With the warm oil he blessed my was soothing. Then he went to my forehead. I don't know any way to explain the feeling when he touched my head. He gently did the Sign of the Cross on my head and I found my head slowly drifting back as he barely pressed for a couple of seconds, his hands left but I just stayed in that position for a few minutes. It was serene. It was an experience I have never experienced before.Everyone was in their own little world until he left. Then we recited Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be and we were dismissed.

It was certainly spiritual. I recommend anyone to go. He goes to the Loffland every 3rd Wednesday of the month to do this. It is for any denomination of faith.  I am glad I went.

When we walked out the leaders told us bye and thanks for coming and handed us another cloth. Stay tuned for the pic of the other cloth.

My mom treated me to Cane's and we went home. I had a nice visit with my parents. That is another story.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Why I believe in God

I was looking for this post on blogger but can't seem to find it. And one of the blogs I follow posted something about Mr. Camping saying the bible says Judgment Day is this month. Here are my views on God.

My granny died in 1981 and I loved her so. When she was alive, I used to ride my bike down a long winding gravel road, up and down hills and spend afternoons with her. Several years later, I was having major problems in my marriage and I felt like I was going under. One day, I just had a panic attack and needed to get out the house. I knew I was going to hurt myself otherwise. It seems like my car just drove me to my little country church. I went to go through the door and it was locked! First time I realized a church can be locked. The priest was not there. I was at my breaking point then remembered my granny was in the graveyard so I went find her resting place. I sat there and sobbed talking to her for an hour or so. I told her how much I missed her and wished she was with us. I wished she could have seen her grand daughter and how I did become a nurse, although for a short while. I told her what was going on. I don't think I ever cried that much. All of a sudden I felt this whoosh go over me and I realized that I really needed to go get help and I went get professional help. Some weight of my heart seemed to lift. Things worked out differently than I would have liked at the time but I knew God was talking to me. He drove me to the church and steered me to Granny's grave.

In 1992 I had Layla and asked him every single night to let me live until she at least graduates high school. He has answered that prayer. Thank You God.

In 1993, I became real sick. I was pretty much dying, had part of a lung taken out, then had post op problems with blood clots then I had this blood infectition that had my fever spiked to 103-104, I was vomiting and my mom was with me. I remember her bringing me to the hospital, they putting me in a bed, IVs, my cute little doc looking at me with that concerned look on his face,and me asking for my now ex husband who no one knew where he was. Then I remember entering this real calm soft place with darkness around but I could see a light way at the end. It was like a cool cave and I felt so light. I was trying to walk towards the light and as I got closer the light was shining bright and I saw him, God with his arms opened, seemingly waiting for me. I wanted to go so bad! I was trying so hard to get to him. Everything was just ...can't describe it because there is no word to describe that feeling. I was trying to reach him and then all of a sudden, he put down his hands and nodded no and mouthed Layla. As my mom and I talked after, we can correlate what was happening to me spiritually and physically. After that incident I am not afraid to meet him. I interepreted it that he wanted me but remembered my prayer and he knew Layla needed me.

And the third time he came to me in anothe form. A couple of years back, I had another surgery and unbeknowst to everyone I was terrified. I know as you get older the risk of complications etc. The anesthiologist was having trouble putting me to sleep LOL. It was near Mardi Gras. When I finally woke up, the first thing I saw was this blond hair doll on a cabinet straight in front of me. I swear it looked like Layla. I kept trying to lift my head to see clearly and the nurse thought I was hurting and kept telling me not to lift my head as they gave me an epidural. My speech was slurred due to anesthesia. I told her no but that doll looked just like my daughter. The nurse looked at me like I was strange LOL. It was just a plain blond blue eyed doll with mardi gras beads on it. It spooked me at first but as I thought about it later. I realized it was God in form of a doll looking like a person I treasure the most, my baby girl watching over me.

God has always been there for me. As everyone else I sometimes question if there is a GOD, with all the bad things going on in the world, when I am hurt or sad or when it seems he is not listening without responding. I always lived with a favorite quote. God has his reasons for everything and he shows you why when he is ready to do so, not before..AND he never gives you more than you can handle (I've questioned that several times myself)

God has shown that he is real through my parents, my sister, Randal, each and everyone of you FB friends, bloggers, every trial and tribulation I've gone through and every rejoice I have experienced to name a few. You have to have faith. God Bless Everyone.

Is Judgment Day as Mr. Camping is saying or trying to persuade? No, I don't think it is. I think Mr. Camping is thinking too highly of himself to be the "Messenger". Maybe I am wrong. If I am wrong and the world comes to an end, I guess I won't see you after that day :)


As many do, I was having a pretty good day until I went to the bank. I went through the ATM. In order for me to reach the ATM from my car, I have to undo my seat belt to lean forward to reach the machine. So I go through the process of making my transaction, close the door and move so others behind me can get there. I turn the corner and make it to the Stop Sign. As I am in the process of putting my seat belt on, a motorcycle cop turns into the parking lot, sees what I am doing and yells, "SEAT BELT". I can hear him as my window is down. So I proceed to buckle up before I go again, I see him turn around, as I turn left and stop shortly for a red light. I look through my rear view mirror and see him right behind me with lights on. Well I was at intersection no where to go so I waited....and waited..and waited for the right turning signal to turn green. Thinking, "He can't possibly give me a ticket right."

The light turns green and I make my way to a parking lot with Motorcycle Cop right behind me. I stop as he stops. I hear him command, "Get out of the car!" I thought, "Sorry Buddy, ain't doing no such thing." He cautiously walks to my window and says, "License, insurance and registration." I hand them to him. I say, "You're giving me a ticket?!" He said, "Yes ma'am. Safety violation." I stammered, "But you saw me putting it on before I got onto the street." He informs me, "Ma'am, you're suppose to put it on before you roll." I thought,"...well you know what I thought, prefer not to write it. I calmly on the exterior  but inside I'm jittery and wait until he fills the ticket out.

He hands me the ticket and says, You have until the 22nd of next month to pay it." I asked, "How much is it?." He said, "I don't know. You have to call the number on the back. Have a nice day." Like they have no idea how much it costs.

Are you kidding me? I just respond, "Thank you, you too." but actually thought, "Yea, right Ass wipe." As I left I realized its in the end of the month and I guess he hasn't met his quota. I wonder what my chances are that I would win if I fought it. Probably slim.

 I made my way to HOT FOOD EXPRESS to meet Kathy! Great lunch and company! Thanks again Kathy. The food was so good. It's one of those hole in the wall sorta restaurants. I definitely recommend.

Moving on with my little life until I go pay the ticket.."SIGH"

Thanks for reading and commenting if you should do so. I appreciate every one of you!



I am still working on my appeal to my insurance company. It takes a while to  research the drugs. I'm searching for the letter of approval for Provigil years back but I don't know if I'll luck out on that. Yesterday, I received my prescription for Adderall. Funny thing is he made the prescription for only a month.

Concerning my weight loss and illness in the last couple of weeks, I am feeling better. I am very impatient with myself healing. I think the Periactin is making me a little sleepy but my tummy is better. Eating like a little pig. I am continuing my ENSURE. It is not bad like I remembered it when I gave it to my patients when I worked a Nursing home 20+ years ago. Maybe the chocolate does the trick? I almost think its addictive because certain parts of the day its like I need it. It is loaded with vitamins. I found a 16ct for 17.79 at Wallyworld online. Cheapest I've seen thus far!


My mom just called me. She is a devout Catholic and I was raised as such. However, in the past few years I have not  been as active due to my disagreements with their "laws". I do pray every night and read my bible. Anyway, she asked me if I was interested in going to an Anointing for the Sick tomorrow. She informed me its a 1-1/2 hour ceremony. I have nothing else to do and I figured it would a) Give my mom some kind of relief and make her happy b) It couldn't hurt and c) A brief unrealistic thought of hey, maybe a miracle could happen and I could be healed of all my medical woes. HA!


I have seen MyBabyGirl more in the past couple of weeks than I have in 6 months. She has finished her first year of college maintaining a very good GPA 3.6 or something close to that. She is just awesome and I am so proud of her. Since the semester ended she has been sorta lost. She does not know how to relax. I am so proud of her and I love her more than she will ever know.


I haven't posted any of my dreams lately. I've started some so I could remember, hopefully. I have about 3 in draft. Maybe I'll get to it one day. Last night I had a dream that My BABYGIRL and I went see Andrew and his mother Brit was there along with two young ladies I don't know. Anyway I was holding Andrew and Brit told me they were selling Girl Scout Cookies and they only had 10 bags left and the price would be 19.95. So I dug in my pocket and handed Brit $20. She argued with me that I didn't have to. But I told her MyLove loved cookies for a small desert after every meal. Here's a picture of our little man.

Is he cool or what? LOL

If you are following my blog, you will know I signed up to be a BIG for a child in the Big Brother/Big Sisters a few months ago. Well I know they are looking at my references on my application. MyLove got his and my BFF said that she received a phone call, called back but they haven't connected as of yet. I can't remember who else I put on my application as a reference. I guess its a sign of aging. "SIGH"


My cousin, Kathy and I are having lunch. We had started a few months back but all hell broke loose with me so we are trying to get back in swing with things. I still say God made us connect for a special reason. She has become not only a wonderful cousin but also a wonderful friend.

Thank you to my Blogger 8 followers and all you lurkers out there. I follow more than being followed here but it's all good. Thanks to all my Word press, FB and LJ friends as well as those who get emails who will comment and read or just read. I see bloggers striving for more readers or giving out 'awards". Although I would like more followers  I won't fret over it. I guess I am not a faithful blogger as some are or  my blogging is not as interesting but what the hell. I started this as sorta journal. I think it is so much fun watching the reactions to those who do get and give out awards. There are a lot of interesting blogs out there.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Me vs FDA Guidelines and Insurance

I am so glad Blogger is back up. It's taken me several days to write this post as I've been doing research as well as trying to wrap my head around the information.

I've been on a drug for sleepiness for the past several years. I have borderline obstructive sleep apnea which my only symptom is sleepiness. Years back, the doctor put me on Provigil to help the sleepiness. Before having the drug I would sleep constantly and I couldn't remember alot because I was tired and sleepy. After I started taking the drug, I became more alert and my life was more productive.

When I first started this drug, I had to go through the red tape to get it because it was new, it was on a lower tier and my diagnosis didn't match the FDA requirements. However my doctor sent the preauthorization and it was approved. I moved on my merry way.

2011 rolls around and I get a formulary that shows that particular drug (PROVIGIL) was not covered but a newer one replaced it (NUVIGIL). NUVIGL Is in tier 3 so I had to get it preauthorized. Okay! I've been there done that. It was denied.

My questions are why have a tier for a drug in the formulary that has to be preauthorized? What gives the insurance the right to tell me or my doctor what I can or can't have medically? What other credentials do they have that my doctor doesn't have to be able to override MY doctor's orders?  These assholes have never met me or know anything about me except when they get my premium, or what the doc has on the forms.

For my first prescription the doc had given me an offer from a sales rep for a free month to try and then another "prescription savings card" to reduce the price of what I had to pay. I found out after my free version, the prescription savings card was void because of my insurance. GO figure.

I took the free month trial and it worked so I attempted to refill it. However, my pharmacy called me and said they ran it through but my insurance denied it. I said well gee, why would the insurance pay for the "free' but not refill it.

So I called the insurance and talked to "BRAD" At first, Brad kept saying, "I can't hear you."  I was sorta rambling and he just says, "SHUT UP." I said, "EXCUSE ME! Let me tell you something, I deserve the respect I give you. I understand I sometimes have people have difficulty understanding me but I don't deserve SHUT UP. I AM THE CUSTOMER here. My premium pays YOUR WAGES BUDDY!: He mumbled an apology and asked if he could put me on hold for 3 minutes. He comes back and confirmed it was denied!

I asked him what the next step was. "Brad" told me to call the doctor and ask them to CALL them to give them a redetermination. He told me it could take up to 48 hours to get a decision. So I called my doctor and talked to his nurse and she said she would do it. Two hours later she called and said it was declined again so Doc was prescribing an entirely different drug (ADDERALL). 

So, I researched these three drugs. If you go the websites indicated, Provigil and Nuvigil have almost the same exact indications but Adderall has different indications although one is similar to the Provigil and Nuvigil. Adderall is better known for ADHD, which I DO NOT HAVE..

I was royally frustrated and just put it up for the night because I knew if I called my insurance or doctor's office I would get nothing accomplished for sure because I would have told them to go to hell.

The next morning I called customer service again, repeating what I said yesterday to a "Barbara."  Don't you hate it when you have to call customer support numerous times and have to repeat your story over and over?

I was calm. She said that they only received the preauthorization NOT the redetermination. I told her that the nurse said she sent it and it was denied.. She put me on hold for 4 minutes to get to the 'other' system to recheck that they received it. She comes back and said they never received the redetermination from the doctor.

I said, "Well I don't know what's going on. Because the nurse told me that she sent it." Barbara asked me if I had seen the denial. I said, "NO." So she read it to me. It said, summarizing, that because I didn't have narcolepsy or use any breathing device, etc the request was denied because it didn't follow the FDA requirements. I remember having the same response when I first started the Provigil.

But, I asked her what the next step was. She said, "Your doctor has to send the Redetermination forms to us." I was aggravated.

I said, "You know Nuvigil is supposedly a new drug and almost indentical to Provigil. It just seems Nuvigil was replacing the Provigil. You approved Provigil years ago and I've been on it for years. But then YOUR company decides to change some drugs in formulary. Tell me, what is fair about that?.

She said, "Ma'am, I understand your frustration but there are alternatives like Adderall." That did NOT answer my question.

Reading from my notes I said, " Adderall, a drug with the combination of dextroamphetamine and amphetamine is used as part of a treatment program to control symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD; more difficulty focusing, controlling actions, and remaining still or quiet than other people who are the same age) in adults and children. Dextroamphetamine and amphetamine tablets are also used to treat narcolepsy (a sleep disorder that causes excessive daytime sleepiness and sudden attacks of sleep).

I paused. I asked if she was still with me and she said she was listening.

I continued, "Nuvigil is sleepiness due to one of the following diagnosed sleep disorders: obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), shift work disorder (SWD), or narcolepsy. In patients with OSA, NUVIGIL is used along with other medical treatments for this sleep disorder. NUVIGIL is not a replacement for your current OSA treatment, and it is important that you continue to use this treatment as prescribed by your doctor. NUVIGIL may help the sleepiness caused by these conditions, but it may not stop all of your sleepiness and does not take the place of sleep.

So she tells me that she knews this but I needed to call my doctor to send the REDETERMINATION forms to decide.

I called the doctor's office and the nurse swore up and down she did so the previous day. I told her they didn't have it. She got a little abrupt and said well Doc says to try the Adderall. I told her I didn't feel comfortable using Adderall. I told her there was a chance to get the Nuvigil which was ordered in the first place She relented and said she would do so again.

I suspect she never did it in the first place. She calls me 2 hours later saying that she called the insurance and they said it would take up to 72 hours for the 'board' to determine it. I thanked her graciously.

When I got off the phone and thought about it, I suspect that I was right, she never sent the redetermination like she had said. She calls me 15 minutes later and said the request of redetermination was denied so she was going to mail me the prescription.

My question was what happened to the 72 hours window. How can a 'board' make a decision in less than 15 minutes?

So I called my insurance again. I told the customer rep I didn't wan to talk to any more customer reps and wanted to talk to someone above them and talk to someone to file a complaint. So after being on hold for 15 minutes later a LATASHA came on and told me she was the in the complaints department and we went through the complaint processs which was the same thing, I had to repeat myself. She said she would put it through the board of grievance and it could take up to 60 days.

AN hour later, I got a voicemail because I didn't answer the unknown number. It was LATASHA. She said the board has filed the complaint and the decision stands, they deny my request for the drug to be covered.   

THis was past 5 pm so do tell me how a "BOARD of doctors and nurses" can read my history and the request in such little time?

The next day I got a letter in the mail stating it was denied and the reasons, same LATASHA told me. I still don't buy it. It gave me instructions on how to appeal their decision by asking for a formulary exception.

So I have 60 days from receiving the notice to ask for the formulary exception with documentation proving I need the drug that is not on the formulary. (BUT IT IS ON THE DAMN FORMULARY) It also states although its on the formulary it is denied because it was not under the guidelines of prescribing the drug. 

It is a like a freaking 3 ring circus to fight this but I aint giving up because I know I am right. They just try to make it difficult to appeal it. Unbeknowst to them, they have no idea who they are dealing with.

Wish me luck folks.. There is a fight Me vs. Insurance and FDA GUidelines!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Monday morning my CT appointment was for 11:30 am.  I left early because I was thinking I'll have a hard time to park as they are renovating the hospital. I arrived and noticed VALET PARKING at the front entrance..

Now if you've been following my blog, the last two weeks has been hell for me with nausea etc. I still get really fatigued and tired at a moment's notice. My mom did offer to bring me but I really didn't need her help. I know my limitations.

So I drove up to the Valet Parking and a nice 20 something fellow came and asked with a soft voice if he could help me. I inquired how much Valet Parking was and he said it was a courtesy from the Hospital and it was FREE. I thought, "YES! There is a GOD!" So excited and relieved I handed him my car keys, he gave me a claim stub and off I went. Admission was a breeze.

I get to radiology and sat. And sat. About 20 minutes, this cute Caucasian 20 something girl comes with this big ass glass of what looked liked lemonade. She called my name and I reluctantly stood up. Walking towards me she said, "No! You can sit back down sweetie! Your doctor ordered contrast so you need to drink as much as you can in the next hour." I thought "CRAP!: (That is the rated-G version).

I sipped and Gawd I hate that crap. They make you go without eating then gives you this sweet tarty stuff to drink. A 300+ lb 40ish guy sitting a couple of chairs down from me watched. Two elderly ladies enters and sits across from me and starts staring.

You know how you have awkward moments with people staring? I am used to stares but the elderly ladies hadn't seen me walk in so I start checking my nose, my mouth, my hair.

I learned through my 48 years when something needs to be done and you hate it, you just as well do it and get it over with.

So I gulped it through the straw. The Big Nice guy asked me if it tasted like Lemonade. I could feel my lips pucker and thought for a second to describe it. I informed him, "It's like an extra sweet/sour Lemonade with a metal taste to it. He exclaimed, "Oh my POOR BABY" I thought what the hell? Anyway I was able to guzzle the drink in 15 minutes. I felt bloated, loudly belched excusing myself shamelessly and went to the bathroom. About an hour later the same nice radiologist came and we walked to the x-ray room.

They inform me they have to give me contrast by IV. I sighed. I was just surprised he ordered with contrast and wasn't prepared to stay there for hours!

A petite blond sticks me  and she blew my vein BUT yet she starts wiggling in it. I mumbled, "It blew.. She shook her head like 'No, it can't be."

 I can tolerate pain and needles are nothing to me but I was in a piss-ass mood and impatient. (MyLove told me that when I was in ER the other day, my mom said I was so dare she! haha). The Blondie leaves and a Brunette comes around and sticks me..I was watching closely this time and we were both nervous..but that damn needle hurt! It wasn't a regular needle or so it seemed.

She sticks the needle in my skin as I held still. She pushes it in slowly and my vein rolled. I heard her say, "SHIT" under her breath." I calmly on the outer but steaming inside, suggest they get another nurse or someone else because they weren't sticking me again. A 50ish  Muslimman strolled in and asked what the problem was. I say Muslim because he had one of those Abba Hussein kinda names. No intentional prejudiced here.

The Blondie said, "She has bad veins." I retorted, "Well then, why did other nurses, and anesthesiologists get it at least 4 times in the past two weeks?" That shut BOTH Up. The Muslin doc got it in seconds.

Anyway we went through the process. When she opened the IV for the contrast to go in, I expectantly felt a flush DOWN THERE. That is so weird. Anyway about an hour later, they released me, I got my car from valet and went directly to RAISING CANES and got me a 3 finger box and I ate the WHOLE THING. I usually eat maybe 2 pieces giving MyBabyGirl my toast.

This morning was my doctor's appointment for follow up. I gained 4 lbs! Yea! He thinks my fatigue and tiredness is from the malnutrition I endure last week and a half AND Low sodium. The CT scan was unremarkable. So he wants:
1) To continue my meds he gave me.
2) Drink minimum of one can of Ensure every day.
3)High salt diet for the next few days.
4) He wants me to check my weight  monthly the next 3-5 months.
5) Eat, Eat and Eat :)

I am feeling better. Appetite is back two-folds "SIGH". Thanks everyone for the prayers and speedy recovery wishes.

OH this doctor is so hot. Click doctor up above. He is gorgeous with that Puerto Rica accent, curly hair..MMM MMM LOL!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Feel free to comment if you should decide to do so :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mothers and Dads who are acting as Mothers as always.


My MOM is a wonderful giving person.
She is a strong woman who endured criticism from neighbors about how 'cruel' she was to me. They found out later it was LOVE because if she hadn't made me as independent I would not be where I am now.
She is the one who cried to doctors and listening when they said to raise me from her intuition.
She was the one who spent endless hours at the school board office to see the superintendent and persuaded them to let me try "Normal" public school.
She is the one who went cry and pray in the bathroom when I fell in my braces because it broke her heart but she knew that's what she had to do. I did get up on my own.
She fought for me in everything.
She spent endless hours with me at the hospital.
I know I can go to her for much of anything.
She brings me joy and laughter in my life.
She is ALWAYS there for me whether to lend an ear, shoulder or bring me to a doctor.
She always puts everyone first except herself.
She allowed me to make mistakes so I could learn for myself, although it nearly killed her to see me in situations.
I love her with all my heart.
I may have been a SPECIAL NEEDS Daughter but I have a UTMOST SPECIAL MOM!


In 1992, I became the mother of my only child, Layla.
She was 18" long and 6.5 lbs.
She was my rock for a very long time but I had to let her go some. But when it comes down to it, I fight for life because of her.
She is loving, giving and smart. sweet, independent and adorable.
I am so proud of her because she has always went for what she wanted.
We've had rough times but I truly believe we both learned from it and we're closer than ever.
My goal was to raise her to be a productive adult and I think I succeeded but it was not only my journey, it was hers. She did the hard work as I only guided her.
She kept me going and I proved to myself that my disability was not a obstacle in having a child.
She is so very special and stood up for me although she wouldn't stand up for herself.
I love her so much.
I couldn't ask for a better daughter than Layla.
I love you Layla Ruth.

She is the mother of two great children.
It's been a honor and pleasure to have her as MY only sister.
She trusted me when we were younger with all her secrets and I could trust her.
She was the one who brought me potato chips from school.
She was the one who played with her friends by the window so I can watch when I was bed bound.
She was the one who put up with not only a pesky little sister but with a special needs sister who took most of her mother's time  with no resentment.
She took my child as her own for a few months when I was sick in the hospital when Layla was born.
I know she is always there for me and I hope she knows I am always there for her.
God has blessed me with one sister and I am happy with the one.
I love you Melanie!

Friday, May 6, 2011

GI Doctor Visit and Beyond

I made it to the doctor on Wednesday. My mom came with me. This doctor is a great GI doctor. GI is Gastrointestinal for in case some of you may not know. Anyway, this doctor is kinda like Dr. D-bone (from my previous post) but he is more approachable and friendlier. His nurses do most of the work in my humble opinion. I got on the scale and weighed 72.4 lbs. My blood pressure was high. They said probably because of the nausea etc. He asked me a few questions and told me I needed an EGD(Esophagogastroduodenoscopy) and CT scan to find out the problem. I had lost 20 lbs in 2 years. I reminded him that I had an EGD two years ago. He said, "Well you need another one to find out the cause of your problems."  So he left and another nurse came in asked me when I wanted to do it. I asked what was available. She said, "What about tomorrow?" I'm like whoa.. My mom blurts, "Yes, that is perfect." The nurse looked at me and I agreed.

It was sort of funny since my mom just answered for me. I wasn't expecting it to be THAT soon but I went with it. She was the one going to be bringing me and taking me home since MyLove had a job and I didn't want him to miss work. The nurse gave me instructions which was at his The Berry's office at 7:30 and  nothing to eat or drink after midnight. They also told me to bring all my meds.

I REFUSE to bring my meds. I have made a list on my computer and save it on the my Flash disk. I have a list of my meds, a list of my medical history and a list of surgeries. I know my  meds and bring a copy of the lists updated every time I go to a doctor.

I didn't sleep that night. I got up with MyLove at 4:15 am. Since he was working in The Berry he dropped me off at my mom's.That part worked amazingly well.  At 7:30 am we were at the hospital. An  older white haired lady was waiting. After talking with her we found out she was having the colonoscopy. She mentioned that she has done the test yearly for the past few years. I felt sorry for her because the test is nothing but the prep is ridiculous. They need to come up with a better prep than that.

They called me to go to the back about 10 minutes after we sat down. She put the bracelet on my wrist, took my 20%  insurance did not cover and brought me to the test room. It was so freaking cold in there I started shivering. They connected me to the EKG, pulse, nasal oxygen, took my vital signs and put the IV and left me there. We waited for the doctor which ended up an hour.

The staff would pop in every once in a while telling me it would be soon. They had great 80's music! I  noticed when I moved the finger with the oximeter on it, the machine would beep. So I entertained myself by moving my finger making the machine beat its rhythm.  I also watched and listened to the staff in the next room.

When Doc came in the staff started moving fast. He told me hello. The anesthesiologist put a short round cyclinder gadget in my mouth to prevent harm to my teeth. They told me to roll on my side. The room was full of people now. The anesthesiologist was on the other side of the bed and told me that I was going to feel a little cold in my IV and all went blank. I felt like I was just sleeping, because I was but I had the light feeling of sleep if you can wrap your head around that!

All of a sudden I was gently being awaken by the nurse telling me its all over. She asked if I could sit up which I did. I sat on the bed for a few seconds then she walked me to the area where I had paid. My mom was waiting. The nurse explained what they found. These are all my problems:

1. Esophageal Ring which is narrowing of one end of the esophagus with either scar tissue or inflammation. Of course I have both. He dilated my esophagus.
2. Hiatal Hernia. He said nothing to worry about and didn't believe it was a cause or threat at this time.
3. Gastritis. Inflammation of the stomach tissue
4. Duodenitis.Inflammation of the first portion of the small intestine.

He gave me a prescription for Periactin which I assume is for the inflammation and continued my Nexium. Gave me a follow-up appointment. Also, it was liquid diet for the rest of the day. Go figure! I was starving!

He also wants me to drink ENSURE which was dreadful in my mind. The reason being that I worked as a nurse at a Elderly Nursing Home. It was my passion. I loved the old people and they wanted their ENSURE. I thought it had a bad odor.

So I wobbled to my mom's car. We stopped at SONIC for a Dr. Pepper. Then we went to my Mom's. I made phone calls, ate a little cup of ice cream and rested. MyLove picked me up around 3:30 and we filled my prescriptions and bought my Ensure and we came home.

It's ridiculous how much Ensure costs. For a 6 pack, it was on sale at 6.69. That's crazy and that was a sale. Need to figure out how to buy the Ensure at a better price. I have been looking online but no luck.

I slept well last night, didn't wake up until 10 am. I've been groggy and figured out the Periactin must be the culprit. I'm in LA-LA Land. I drank a bottle of Ensure for lunch and for supper I had two fried eggs, slice of bread and hashbrowns. I am still farting, have a sore throat and heartburn. I didn't have heartburn before but I guess it'll take time for my body to get it together.

I want to thank everyone for reading, wishing me well and a speedy recovery. I really appreciate my every one of you. It makes you feel better than both people I know and strangers turning into online friends are in it with you.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

ER Visit

It's been NIGHTMARISH since Friday. I worsened. I couldn't eat or drink anything! I knew I was dehydrating. I was becoming very weak and struggled for my appointment with my GI doctor yesterday.. However, I started caving in Saturday. The room started spinning every time I LIFTED my HEAD. You know after drinking alot, how your head feels the next morning? Well consider that 10x worse! I remember asking MyLove Saturday night if he would take me to the ER in The Berry 20 miles away Sunday since ALL my doctors are there. He was concerned and said he'll do anything I needed. He is such a sweetheart.

Sunday I woke up and I could hardly go the bathroom. I dry heaved and I was so weak not to mention the SWIRLING room. So I asked him to bring me to the ER. He had to hold me to walk to the car. I was drifting rapidly. I could just feel myself fading. I laid on the backseat and took deep breaths in and deep breaths out. I was miserable.

This was funny though. When I went got in the car. I didn't just crawl in, once I saw the seat, I TURNED AND PLOPPED!  I was NOT moving anymore! It just wore me out from going to my bedroom to the car.  MyLove was trying to push me more inside so he could close the door. He grabbed my BUTT CHEEKS and pushed me in. Thinking about it, it is hilarious. At that moment I didn't care.

He got me to the ER safely. My mom had already made it as we called her before we left. She only lives 10 minutes away from ER. It was amazing the way things went.

My mom went into the ER and asked for a wheelchair. Two men dressed in scrubs came and I vaguely remember shifting into the chair. They spun me to TRIAGE and the two nice compassionate fellows took my vital signs and got a little background information. My blood pressure was high they said, probably from the days of nausea.  They probably didn't want me to throw up on them as I was dry heaving big time, they sent me to a room by a nurse.

I laid on the table and the Dr came in. His name was Dr. Darbonne. I'll just call him Dr. D-Bone. Dr.  D-Bone asked how long I had been nauseous. After my response of since Easter, he asked me why I didn't call my doctor? I told him I did make an appointment with the GI doctor for the following week.but really never thought of calling my doctor for nausea medicine. That's how much I was focused during the week. He asked me that question 3 times during our short conversation. He impressed me very little but he was all I had at the time. So he looks at my long history and list of medications. He said he would order bloodwork, pump in IV fluids (And he was not kidding!) and give me some nausea medicine by IV to try to cut out the nausea.

A nurse soon entered and put my IV in my hand and started the liquids. They pumped 1000 ccs of fluids into me in 45 minutes. During the infusion, lab came and took 5 tubes of my blood. The nurse came in and did a blood sugar prick on my finger. The prick was foreceful I jumped. My Blood sugar was 27 folks. The nurse was awed because she never saw a coherent person with a blood sugar of 27. (Normal Blood sugar is  between 70 and 150), The lab ran it and it was lower! 22!  Shet  also gave me a dose of  Zofran via IV to relieve my nausea.  Doc popped in to reconfirm  I never had diabetes or troubles with my blood sugars. By that time I had to PEE!

So the nurse comes in with this big syringe of "SUGAR".  I told her my problem. She asked if I could wait a few minutes because she didn't want me to fall down with the low blood sugar so I held it. She slowly pumped the sugar in. It had been about 1/2 hour and the Zofran didn't work so she gave me another dose.

As I waited for the Zofran and "SUGAR' to work an aide walked in to get something in the drawer. I was squirming so she brought me to the bathroom. Such a relief.

About 1/2 hour to 45 minutles later the doc pops in and is astonished that my nausea hadn't ceased. The nurse came soon after with a dose of Phenergan IV. That did the trick for the nausea. She took my blood sugar again and it was 155! Sigh of relief.

My IV fluids were finished way before then so the doctor came in and said he'll give me a prescription for nausea. I asked him what he thought was causing it. He just shrugged and said my blood work was normal and to call my family doctor or wait to see my GI doctor.

I was feeling a helluva lot better than when I went in I assure you. I was wiped and felt I'll live at least another three days.

My sister agreed with me that Dr. D-Bone could have used more bedside manner and informative. My mom and MyLove argue he was just being professional.

Stay tuned for the GI doctor visit..and beyond. Thanks for reading!