Saturday, June 25, 2011

Tech Support

Why is it that when you contact support for problems with software or their site they always push off the problem to be your computer or the device you are using?

Recently, I've been playing this game on my Itouch. It's a game you play with other people. It was always updating and freezing. I think if I put my money into a game, it should at least work properly, wouldn't you say?

I wrote to the Tech Support of the game and they told me to reset the Itouch. I did. It still froze and upated constantly every single time I opened the game, sometimes for hours. Yes, I just let it do its thing once just to see how long it was going to take. . I could play my turn maybe twice a day if I was lucky. I wrote back telling them it didn't work. So they told me to delete the game and redownload. I did several times. No progress.

One of my points to the Tech Support was ALL of my other games worked fine. It was THEIR game that was the problem.

Let me tell you this process was weeks long because I would put it down frustrated and come back to it days after  because I kept telling myself I shouldn't be irritated playing a game.

About a month after I purchase the game, I received a survey to rate this game. I rated a 2 out of 5 and commented that it was a great game when it worked. And by that time I had written in their forum 2-3 times stating my problem. Others had the same problems.

So once again I left it alone, until this past week. I received an email with an invite to play the game. I gave it a shot. Now when I open the game it "REPAIRS" for about 3 seconds and the game starts.

Hmmm. I guess they finally figured it out or working on it. Who know.

One other recent problem: I got this email stating that my email provider will be changing to the New Email permanently in a month from the day I received the email. However, I can download it before. So I figured, if they are going to change it anyway I just as well. Now this Newer version has been out for a while not so they should have the kinks out right?

I downloaded it and I am sorry I did. Every time I go into my email,  a page comes up "The Newest Version of ___ Mail Can't Load.  We are unable to open your mailbox,  Try reloading again" and it gives me a code number.

I looked up the code number and it states it is a temporary error and it instructs to delete temp files, cache, blah blah.

 Anyway the page with the code number gives me two options: Continue to _____! Mail or return to the ORIGINAL ____ Mail.just this one time. or return to the original Mail.

So I'm thinking, if it does not work now, how is it going to be when it the NEW permanent version is intact? I went back to the original and I guess we shall see what happens.

Sometimes I strongly think technology is not all that reliable and why do I put myself through it. "SIGH"

Friday, June 24, 2011


When I was a kid, we lived in a 2 bedroom wooden house two houses away from the salt mine on Avery Island. I remember our house shaking every time they blast underneath us. It was an awesome place to grow up. However, this post is not about my house. This is a post to make you laugh, I hope. It's about feet. 

My sister and I shared a room. When our friends came for a sleepover the other slept on the couch. This particular evening, my sister and her BFF had gone out. I don’t remember where. But I decided to get into the role of pesky little sister and decided to play a prank on them.

I was small so I crawled under the bed flat on my stomach and waited. They finally came home and walked into the bedroom. I had to put my hand over my mouth from giggling because I knew I was going to scare the crap out of them. So I waited for them to walk by the bed. When they did I  grabbed my sister’s legs and she kicked me, jumping on the bed screaming. I crawled out of the bed laughing my butt off. My mom came running in as  my sister and her friend were screaming. I was sitting on the floor, couldn’t get up because I was laughing so hard. My mom ordered me to get to the sofa and go to sleep.
Thereafter, occasionally I would get on my knees and taunt my sister, “I’m gonna get you.” She would move away sometimes running and yell, “Mom! Tell Lisa to leave me alone.” I would get scolded but I got laughs out of it.

I still giggle thinking of that prank. Sorry my dear sister if you read this!
I remember my dad sitting on his recliner and we would play this game. I would put my finger between his toes and he would grasp my finger with me trying to prevent him from grasping it.  It hurt when he got hold of it thought. 

I couldn’t do that with my toes and just thought it was fascinating that he could.  I don’t recall dwelling on or even realizing I couldn't move my toes.
As a kid, I had multiple surgeries due to my CP and my mom had to help me exercise them and one of them would be to take my foot in her hand and roll my foot in circles. It felt so good!
When My BabyGirl, her father and I were a family, we had a cat, Biscuit.  Stupidly, we started playing around with him with our feet. He started chasing our feet, clawing and scratching. My BabyGirl, as most children do would just get up and start running. Biscuit would run after her feet attacking them. He would go after our feet especially when we are barefooted.
One day the three of us were sitting down, can’t remember the details but they were wiggling their toes. My BabyGirl asked me to wiggle mine but I couldn’t. Due to my surgeries in back of my ankles it prevents me from wiggling my toes, I assume.  I think it was the first time I even thought about if I could wiggle my toes.

I remember my BabyGirl encouraging me to keep trying and I tried but it is just not in God's plan.Oh well, wiggle toes vs be able to walk..I'll take the walking.
I have small feet. I can get away with buying a child’s shoe. A child’s shoe is less expensive than an adult’s.  The trick is to find a child’s shoe that looks like an adult’s.  I always need a shoe with a back because the shoe doesn’t stay on my feet.  I rarely walk outside barefooted because the way I walk, I skin my toes and that is no fun. I can’t buy cheap shoes because I need the support and the sole of the toe needs to be thick because I wear them down within 6 a couple of months.

Right now I really need some shoes as the sole is worn all the way through but I am procrastinating  because I know I’ll be paying 70-100 bucks for a pair of shoes.
MyLove tells me I have “Hobbit feet.”   He explained they’re just small curve upward and it reminds him of a Hobbit.  He can call them anything he wants as long as I get those foot massages he lovingly gives me…

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I was sifting through some pics and I found a few I thought was worth sharing.  .

It was a homemade gift from My BabyGirl the same year my marriage ended with her father. She told me the horses reminded her of her and I in the world together.I have it on my dresser drawer right in front of my bed so it will be the last thing I see and think about at night but shhh..she doesn't know that LOL.

My BabyGirl and I at graduation 2010. We both changed since then. Oh and my dad is in the back laughing. I was crying and laughing that day because I was damn proud! God answered 17 years of  my prayers giving me the honor to see her graduate from high school. Now she says I need to pray to live until she graduates college. I told her we couldn't be too greedy but I don't plan on going anywhere.

My mom and great nephew, Andrew taken recently for my hometown's newspaper.

My dad gave me this figurine AGES ago. It was missing for many years and then I found it and I lost it and I found it again. I put it showcased on my living room window sill so I won't lose it again. He said it reminded him of me because I sat like that all the time except my ankles would cross over my knees. Weird position but what can I say? It was comfortable. It has a bunch of 'bump and bruises", typical me :).

I realized today that I RARELY can take a pic of my sister LOOKING at me. It's blurry because she was probably moving trying to hide. She is always hiding I realized after looking for one of her. Of course the one sticking her tongue is my MyBabyGIrl acting like herself as usual...and I wouldn't want it any other way.

That's bits and pieces of my life! Thanks for stopping by!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. I will write about my father today.

He started working when he was way younger than anyone should have. After his mother died his father remarried and pretty much put him and sister out on their own. I don't quite get the whole story but I always wondered why that was. An elderly couple took them in for a roof over their heads and food but he worked to clothe him and his sister. He loved boxing and football but had to put it aside to support he and his sister.

As I grew up and beyond he worked long hours at the salt mine but I never once heard him complain.  He had obligations to his family and he filled them. It gave him a very strong work ethic through the years. We were never without our needs.

He took us on vacations when he preferred to be home. He did everything a man should do for his family plus more.

 He was a man of few words but when he wanted to say something, it was said. I don't remember him ever verbalizing his feelings. His actions said much more.

I remember him playing pitch and catch with me. I was afraid of the ball when he threw it but he would encourage me and tell me that it would hurt worse if I didn't catch it. He also played basketball with me. He was the one that made a tree swing. He was the one who kept oiling my bikes and put the training wheels down.

 Near high school graduation he told me that the world was cruel out there and I had to become something with some sorta degree because it was going to be double hard for me as I was "handicapped."

The other day I was digging in some pics and I found a short note he had given me long time ago. It said he was so proud of me and loved me very much. Of course I knew this but to give me this token, it touched me more than he will every know.

He is always helping others and people always call him. My sister and I know he is there if we need him any time or day.

He has been a devoted husband.

Most dads are special but I would say mine IS the best. If I need anything I know he is only a phone call way.

To all you out there whose Father has passed on, know they are angels looking down on you.

As I reread this, the words don't even come close to who my Dad is. He is one special man!

I love you Daddy!

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Old Phone

A longtime online Aussie friend sent me this email. It is very touching and thought I'd share it with you!.

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighbourhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbour. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. 

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." 

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

  I said I could.

  "Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne  always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."
"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden  box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new  phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the  serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little  boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialled my hometown Operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. 


I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please  tell me how to spell fix?"


 There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

 I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

 I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

 I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
 "Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle .. A different voice answered "Information." I asked for Sally.

 "Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

 "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died  five weeks ago."

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?" "Yes." I answered.

 "Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called.

Let me read it to you." 

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.
He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.  So don't miss the ride and have a great time going

Thursday, June 16, 2011

But It Fits the Bun!

That's what an 80ish distinguished  gentleman was telling his same age petite wife as they were looking at the Bun-length wieners at Wallyworld today.

The wife exclaims, "It is more expensive!'

Adamantly, the man says, "IT FITS THE BUN!"

As adamant as her loved one, "It is more expensive! Let's go over there!"

They talk back and forth, trying to persuade the other. Some heated French was also spoken that I couldn't understand.

Standing his ground, the man says, "But you won't just eat bread, its  BUN-LENGTH."

The lady shakes her head mumbling, " NO...." I could not hear the rest..

Then the lady stomps away. The man continues to stare at the bun lenght wieners like a child who was just reprimanded.  THEN...

He looks around, presumably to see where his wife was. The coast was clear! He hurriedly, as his old body could, grabbed two packs of Bun Length wieners. Gripping them, he looked around again..Coast was still clear! He walks around the basket and picks up a back of chips and some toiletries, places the wieners then covers them with the items he had just picked up.  He stands there placing items around the wieners for a good minute or two. When he seemed to feel confident that his wieners were safe, he started walking pushing the basket.

I saw them once again during my shopping. They were talking and laughing.

Every time I think about it, I smile. It was just too darn cute.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Prescription Trade

I had an idea today. I know its far-fetched but it was an idea.

Let me tell you what gave me the idea. Last week I went to the doctor for follow-up of my hypothyroidism and weight. He took my blood to test my thyroid. His office called me yesterday changing the dosage of my Levothyroxine to 112 mcg. I just refilled my Levothyroxine 125 mcg last week.

 Today, I went to the drive-thru to pick it up and when they tried putting it through my insurance it rejected it. It was no surprise to me. The pharmacist asked me to go in until they settled it. It was freaking HOT and I just wanted to go home.  I told him to call me when they get it through. I live a mile or two so I came home and before I took my shoes off they called me saying it went through. It'll wait until the morning.

Anyway, my idea is there should be a Trade-In Program for medications. Like my situation, since I have nearly a whole bottle of 125 mcg, I should be able to go to the pharmacy, and trade my bottle for the new bottle or donate it to someone who needs it..

I should be able to donate the bottle of Levothyroxine I don't need to a homeless shelter or other program so another person can benefit. Or people can bring their unused medications to their doctor's office and they can give it to others as 'samples" or to those who need and can't afford it.

I know it would bring a lot of red tape not to mention the legalities of it. The pharmacists and pharmaceutical companies would not like it because they could lose money. But hey it was only a thought.

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Persistence Prevails!

FOLKS, PERSISTENCE DOES PREVAILS! I got a message on my voicemail with a message retrieval code for the results of my appeal. It was an 800 number and I don't normally answer 800 numbers. The message said it was approved! I called my pharmacy to see if it went through and they said yes! It wasn't my letter that did it because when we went get the mail, I had ANOTHER denial dated June 6th.

I guess I will be shopping in October for another company.

Amazing how when doctors take the time to be your advocate you get results! So that is solved!

MyLove got off work early today so we took advantage using one of my Bargain Bee vouchers and went eat a cheeseburger  at Morvants in Broussard. They were delicious. I hadn't had one of those in years! 

Then we went to Best Buy and browsed. We'll be needing a TV soon, my mom wanted me to research something for her and I've been contemplating on buying a spanking brand new laptop. The salesgirl was very informative. So I'll give Rainie a salute!

Children's Clinic Records/Josh Blue

Way back when my folks brought me to The Children's Crippled Clinic in our hometown. This was in the late 1960's and 1970s when there weren't many resources for special needs children.

The doctor, would fly from New Orleans every so many weeks to see 100's of us kids. He was a wonderful compassionate dedicated doctor. I was his pet and he called me Sunshine. He walked with a limp, like most of us who went to see him because he had Polio as a youngster.

When I needed surgery, we had to travel to New Orleans since he lived there and spend weeks at a time at the hospital there. I had five surgeries between 1968 through 1971. After my surgeries, came braces, casts, rehab, corrective shoes and then follow-up visits every six months until I reached 18. At 18, I was no longer a child so and there was nothing more to do for me except an elective surgery. My parents gave me that decision because it was the riskiest one. It could either make me walk much better, almost normal OR put me in a wheelchair. It was a 50/50 chance.

I thought hard on that for a month. I know I didn't want to be in a wheelchair. When I had to be in one after surgeries I hated it. It was too confining for me. 

But the thought of being able to walk like everyone else was so tempting. I wouldn't get anymore stares, or being judged just by the way I walked. It would be totally awesome. However, in the end,  the risk was just too high for me to risk it and I declined. I lived for 18 years and my life really wasn't so bad. I did most of whatever I wanted to do anyway. The things I couldn't do, but maybe could do WITH the surgery was not that important. After the decision, I never had second thoughts my decision.

Fast forward to weekend before last. My mom called. She was reading the paper and  saw a notice that if you were a patient at Iberia Cripple Children's Clinic between certain dates and wanted your records to call a  number provided before June 10th before picking them up. My mom knows I love to have my medical records. So Monday I called and left a message on the  machine. No one called me back. Wednesday, I was becoming anxious. My mom dropped by the Clinic since she was in town and the lady she spoke to said,  the lady who was dealing with the medical records does go in every day but to leave the message and she will surely get back with me. So I left another message.

Thursday, "Fern" finally returns my call. She apologized and said she had emergency retinal surgery and wasn't sure when she was getting back to the clinic but she would call me as soon as she did.

So yesterday, after I got back from my long day, she called. She asked for my birthday and name. She said she would look for it and call me back. Five minutes later, she asked if I had lived in Jeanerette. (Here we go with my Double again). I said, "No, I did not live in Jeanerette. I lived on Avery Island." She said she would continue looking and instead of me going get them she would just mail them. I graciously thanked her. She called me back 5 minutes later and asked me my father's name. I told her and she said she found them and she was going to put them in the mail.

So my appreciated  followers may be asking yourselves, 'what's the big deal?" I love this stuff! It's why I went to school and became a nurse, until doc and I realized I made a terrible career choice and put me on disability several years later. I'm still trying to accept that. Anyway, I am assuming there will be surgical reports etc. I can actually read all the notes etc. I will be running to the post office every day starting tomorrow to see if they arrived. I am totally psyched!

Another note concerning Cerebral palsy. My daughter's girlfriend Krystal has seen me and My BabyGirl laugh at some of the stuff I do because of CP. We've told her stories about our life. Hey, its good to laugh at yourself!  On my FB wall Krystal posted aYoutube video of a comedian, Josh Blue. I'm addicted. He makes jokes about his CP and all of us with CP can surely relate. I am thinking of buying one of his CD's! Check him out!

Thanks for dropping by and taking the time out of your busy schedule and read my blog! I appreciate each and every one of you!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Letter to Insurance

Back to the post Me Vs. FDA Guidelines/Insurance, after I was denied numerous times within hours, I thought it out for a few days and wrote t his letter to appeal the denial. I gave a copy to my doctor to include with his letter. He loved my standpoint. Here is the letter for those who follow and it should give a more understanding. I faxed it to them June 1st and waiting for response.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am requesting for a coverage rule exception,independent review AND/OR a tiering exception for Nuvigil. I am asking you to cover the Provigil or Nuvigil. I was on Provigil for years but this year your company deleted it from the formulary and replaced it with Nuvigil.. I used Nuvigil as a free month trial and it worked, but then your company denied approval. You should have all the documentation from my physician. I have some sleep apnea and if I don't take Provigil or Nuvigil I am sleepy all day and my productivity is next to nil. From what I read, Adderall is more addictive than Nuvigil or Provigil. I have never had as much trouble with you covering a drug before with your company until now.

Provigil was in a Tier 3 drug as Nuvigil is. Same EXACT indications unlike Adderall.

I called your customer service at least 3 times that day at the beginning of May, talking to different people (Brad, Barbara and LaTasha) having to tell them my story 3 times which was redundant. The last person, Latasha gave me instructions to have the doctor's office call for redetermination but informed me it would take at least 72 hours for a decision. My doctor's office did as instructed and less than 2 hours you faxed a denial again to the office.It is highly questionable if your representative even looked and read it at all. I believe the person just looked at my name and Nuvigil, FDA guidelines and without looking at my previous drug history denied it.

What perplexes me is Nuvigil, as Provigil, was a Tier 3 IS in your formularly but it was denied. I know the drug has specific guideline for use of the drugs but I NEED the drug. You do NOT know my whole medical history. How many other drugs have you approved for people that didn't meet FDA-approved guidelines?  I'm sure many.

Most perplexing, if the drug is on the formularly the doctor ordered, what gives the pharmaceutical companies and FDA the right to say what the patient needs or doesn't need? I don't understand how the pharmaceutical companies or insurance can override the physician's orders. What kind of certification does the pharmaceutical companies or insurances have that the doctor's don't have?  A doctor knows their patient. Pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies have no clue who we are or what we are going through.

 I am looking forward to receiving a favorable response from you.  If this is not resolved in my favor, I will consider going forth with legal counsel or find another company when it comes time to renewing my coverage.

Sincerely yours,

Short Version of a Long Gratifying Day

I'll give a shorten version of my day today because I'm pooped. I had a long but gratifying day.

My BabyGirl and I woke up bright and early at 6:30 am and got on the road to make a treacherous ride to The Berry for my six month follow-up appointment with my family doctor, Dr. Rob. I didn't know Hwy 182 was one lane that early.. That can be a post another time, how Louisiana should do road construction/repair at night like other states.

We made the 20 mile journey in about 45 minutes leaving a little time to spare before my appointment. I weighed 83 lbs on his scale so I think I rather his scale than my GI doctor's. We discussed my insurance and their denial of coverage of the Nuvigil and Provigil. (Me VS FDA Guidelines ) and their recommendation of Adderall. He became somewhat fired up. He does not want me on Adderall because it zaps the appetite. So he is going to write a letter to the insurance. He took my blood to test my thyroid. But I am better than I was six months ago.

So we left there and went to my niece's salon and both had our hair trimmed. While we waited for my Mom to do her hair, we went stroll through T.J. Max that just opened. After Mom was finished, we went eat at Subway. After a leisure lunch and conversation with my mom, my Babygirl and I started the 20 mile journey home.

More knowledgeable and being that we were on the OTHER side of The Berry I took Hwy 90 this time. It started pouring blankets of rain. Whoever prayed for rain, their prayer was answered.  At one point, I couldn't see anything so I got off to the side of the road, as many others did.

On the way, My BabyGirl realized she didn't have her key to the old apartment to get her bike (Another long story another time maybe) so we decided to go to our favorite store. BARNES AND NOBLES. After spending more money than I really wanted to but I knew what was gonna happen before I got my fault. It is OUR THING we love to do TOGETHER so it is well worth it!

After we loaded our books and ourselves into the car, we decided to stop at Sonic Drive In. Oh I have to tell my readers this story.

I called MyLove and asked if he wanted a Sonic Drink, he said yea, an Apple Slush. So I press the button and a spunky girly voice asks for my order.

I ordered, "A Large Apple Slush, A medium Dr. Pepper and a Medium Ocean Water."

She informs, "We don't have Apple Slush anymore, all we have apple is the boxed apple juice."

Okay, that paused me for a minute then I asked, "Well okay, what kind of slushes do you have?"

She responses, "ANY KIND OF FRUIT SLUSH THERE IS". I paused again. Thinking, "WTH?" It was just so NOT nice of her to cut my concentration like that! When my brain thinks one thing, it is just not right to confuse it like that!

I stammered, "STRAWBERRY."  The carhop arrives with our drinks a few short minutes later and I commented it made no sense that they didn't have Apple slush. She said, "Oh we haven't had that item for a couple of weeks now and there were alot more deleted from our menu." I still gave her a dollar tip since it is really NOT the carhop's fault that the COMPANY decided to do away with one of MyLove's favorites! What were they thinking?!?!

Luckily, MyLove is more flexible than I and enjoyed his STRAWBERRY SLUSH.

It continues to amuse me that the order taker said they didn't have APPLE slush but the very next sentence she said, "ANY KIND OF FRUIT SLUSH THERE IS". OOOkkaayy.

We made it home safely despite MY DP falling over after a sharp turn and the inattentive passenger letting the COLD ICE and DRINK dribble on MY SEAT making my RIGHT BUTT CHEEK freezing. As I was grabbing the  SPILLED DP is when she realizes what happened, just starts laughing! Ah! Some people's children. All we can do is love them!

All in was a great mother/daughter day all around!

Remind self about Clinic excited...Stay tuned!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Two of Me??

I have wondered more in the past 24 hours than I have in a while. I tend to ponder the weirdest things and usually don't figure it out.

The questions reeling in my little pea brain go something like these, "Is her hair brown like mine or is she a blond? Does she have astigmatism like I or have 20/20 vision? Do we have the same personality? Does she have CP or? Does she have a wonderful kid like I do? Is her family awesome like mine?

A odd thing happened yesterday afternoon My BabyGirl and I went on my monthly pharmacy errand to pick up four medications I had refilled. Yea, I got to see My Babygirl AND her girlfriend. Must not forget the girlfriend! AND My BabyGirl is coming tomorrow night for a sleepover! How grand is that?

Anyway, when I walked up to the counter, the pharmacist asked my name. Almost every cashier and pharmacist who has been there for a while knows who I am. I go there almost like clockwork, sorry to say.This mousy bespectacled brunette was new, however.She pulls out 5 bags and lays them on the counter. I noticed $19.15 on one and I then looked at the medication name. It seemed familiar but something didn't seem right. She asked me for my address and I gave it to her.

She starts ringing them up and I asked if one was a genericfor the other, why do I have two? She reads the label and says, "They are both for anxiety."

I thought, "Why would doc give me a different one?" I told her I took the med, not for anxiety but for muscle cramps. She shrugged and said, "I don't know."

The other anxiety medication was 12.15 which I knew because I pay it every month.  The $19.15 was poking at me like a sharp porcupine. There was something not right! But I just couldn't pinpoint it.

I asked her who the docs were. She named my doctor and another doctor, which seemed familiar too. I had a brainstorm and said, "Maybe it was from the ER and I didn't want it when it was prescribed so they just left it there as they are known to do if I decide on not paying it at the time." She said, "Maybe."

As she was ringing one up, she asked for my birthday. For every drug she kept asking me for my birthday. I know I am forgetful sometimes but gee whiz. Anyway after the third, she stopped and said, "OMG, this is a different birthday!

AHA There is another person with my name exactly. So I was not crazy after all!

When I worked I would get people asking me how my family was and would get asked, "I remember you? You lived in Jeanerette." When I looked dumbfounded and inform them I never lived in Jeanerette, they would say, "Oh well there is this girl who has your name and walks just like you.

Once, when I was married, my then-hubby worked 7/7 and one night he was home and a man called our home asking for me at 1 am.  When I answered, he said he had a good time the other night and I told him he had the wrong number. He verified my number and name. This was before caller ID and such. That raised my then-hubby's eyebrows. I vehemently denied knowing this guy. Well the same guy, called again when my then-hubby was in with the same scenario and  I finally proved to my then-hubby I was not fooling around. The next time the guy called at 2 am, my then-hubby answered and put an end to his calls finally.

I have asked my parents if I ever had a twin they didn't tell me about. They adamantly say they are sure I was the only one born that day. To the best of their knowledge she did not deliver twins.

It is just so interesting to me having a replica of me walking around..much less use the same pharmacy in the same town.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Dark Deep Hole

I hate when I crawl into that deep hole and can't seem to climb out. The past few days that dreadful hole kept sucking me in little by little.

When I am being sucked in my heart weighs a hundred pounds. A solid steel gate is built around myself. I feel neglected. I feel unloved. I feel unappreciated. I hate myself. Every little quirk MyLove has, intensifies and I start disliking him. Every little thing he says to me negatively swells up my tear banks but I refuse to allow one to drop. I refuse to show that weakness. I am miserable. I make the one and only person who accepts and loves me unconditionally a Monster in my thoughts.

Luckily, that hole finds me only on occasion. There is usually a trigger.

Years ago, when I was far into that deep hole, a psychologist was amazed it took 30 years to have a trigger. He thought I should've been depressed years beyond because of my medical history. But at that time, my medical history was the least of my problems. I think as I get older, I am more impatient and less accepting. I sometimes just ask God when will enough be enough in that regard. However, I make myself live one day at a time with my medical crap.

I think lately, my mood corresponds with MyLove's occupation's new position which keeps him away more often as well as he comes home tired and frustrated. He's been exhausted and stressed. I give him leeway for that. We can't plan on anything because even though he should be home by 3, he doesn't come back until 7. On weekends, he just wants to relax at home when I am ready to do something. It doesn't have to be going out or anything. Just cuddle and watch a movie together suffices.

After rereading the last paragraph, I realize  I am selfish. That was my mom's life with me and my dad's job. That is not fair.

Yesterday, as I continued to stonewall  my good emotions towards MyLove he did a simple gesture. He had been trying to hug me and hold me and I stood there like a lump. I knew what I was doing and hated myself for doing it. He knows I get into these moods and he gives me space. But what he didn't know was sometimes that's when I need him the most.

I sometimes think he should KNOW what is bothering me and what to do about it. Honestly, I am totally wrong. He can't read my mind. I give off mixed signals MORON!

But, yesterday, he came from behind me as I was getting a drink from the refrigeration. He put his arms around my waist and held me close and tight. He had me pinned and said, "You're going through something, if its me, I hope you talk to me about it. If not, I am here. I love you. You do know that?"  Verge of tears, but how dare I let one drop, I shake my head yes. He then says, "I love you more than anything."

Tears flowed as I wiped them on my sleeve and he just held me. I could feel myself climbing out that hole.

We stood there, quietly except for my sniffles, him holding me until I was finished.  We then embraced and I finally jumped out of the black hole. MyLove pulled me back out. We talked for hours. 

He has been the only one who has been able to pull me out of my black hole so quickly.And that's why I love him so!  I AM BLESSED