Dream: BabyGirl Got Married

I have such vivid dreams! Of course BabyGirl was in this one. But she wasn't young. Actually she was a young woman in a beautiful white dress. She was getting married but she was blubbering big time. I kept asking her what's wrong. She would just look at me and cry. The conversation went like this:

She sobbed throughout but able to respond to a few questions.
Me: What's wrong?
Her: She was sobbing so hard she couldn't talk.
Me: Look, you don't have to marry right now. You can back out even if you are on the altar.
Her: (Still sobbing) But I love him.
Me: If you have doubts, don't marry him. Don't make the mistake.
Her: But Mom I love CHARLES!

I continued to tell her all the things Mothers tell their daughters when they are getting married. Be sure this is what you want. You can back out anytime. You can wait longer.

This went on seemingly forever over and over.

Dream scene changed and I was walking her down the aisle of what appeared to be an auditorium. I was on one side of her and a creepy looking man was on her other side. It was not her father.

She sobbed nonstop.

I woke up.

Funniest part is she has never dated any Charles that I know of and her boyfriend's name is not Charles.

Have no analysis on this one.

How We Celebrated Our 2nd Anniversary

Yesterday as you know, if you read yesterday's post, we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

I want to share with you how we spent it.

We started by swinging by the main library we us to finally pick Once Upon A Time Season II that we have been waiting months for. We continued on our journey to UL College to meet BabyGirl to give her some money she needed. It was a quick stop and go. But I got to see her. She is still alive and beautiful.

I have a simple request. Say a little prayer that she gets through finals this and next week. After this semester she has one left and then she goes to grad school or however she tends to pursue her lifelong career. She keeps changing her mind so your guess is just as good as mine.

Then we made our way to another library on that end of the city to pick up a movie Hubby had requested there.

Leaving there, we weaved through the crazy traffic and arrived at our destination--Rooms to Go. Our plan was to reacquaint ourselves to what was available. We have ideas of what we want.

We want a small dining table to fit 4 chairs. We already have the four chairs his mother is giving us, They were re-stained and in process of putting fabric seating. It is hard to match the stain and find a small table. A lot of the tables we saw were for 6-8 people or pub style that were high. Also the few small ones we saw were glass. I am not keen on glass. Hubby says it may be a good idea as it is easier to match. He has a point. But I am still thinking about it and looking.

We also needed a bed and two bedside tables with mattress which I am happy to say we found what we wanted. The bed is so cool! The mattress will be so comfy. You can check out the bed frame here.

We were also looking at consoles and media room chairs. I am tired of the wall unit we have. It was a nice wall unit my parents had given me as a new home gift when BabyGirl's father and I had bought a new home years ago.  I am tired of it.  We found a cool console but we weren't sure about the measurements.

Note: I had mentioned to Hubby that maybe we need to take measurements before we left. But he sorta shrugged it off saying we were just going to look. Shall I say more? I was the good little wife that didn't utter "I told you so."

We're having our differences in the height of the console. I keep telling myself it is mainly his man cave so I need to let him make his own decision. I did voice it but he said I will be in it just as much as him as that's where our television is.

We also want sofa-type theater seats with two seats with the cup holders on each end. However, all we find is the cup holders in the middle. We do want to snuggle on the couch! Also, the ones we saw are leather. He doesn't necessarily like the leather. I suspect we will be looking some more for this.

We didn't buy anything because if we get the console, we want to buy it all together. We are going back Thursday to at least buy the bedroom set!

The salesman, James who waited on us was so nice and gave no pressure although he always around when we had questions. He asked us when we would be going back. Randal said maybe tomorrow. He gave us his card and cell phone number because he is off Wednesday but he would come in for us. Now how sweet was that?  I need to remember to write a complimentary note after our transactions are done. However, we know how precious days off are so we will go Thursday instead.

After spending about 1 hour there we moseyed onto Basset Furniture. They can customize our two media chairs the way we want them in fabric…for double the price of our whole bedroom set.  We are contemplating.

We will be looking around some more for the items we are still iffy on. The bed was one of the most important items we really needed. We accomplished it.

By that time, I felt my tendinitis becoming irritated and I was getting tired. It was time to take a breather.

We went eat at one of our favorite places, Logan's Steakhouse. Hubby had the grilled Salmon with sauteed mushrooms and rice pilaf. I had the 6 oz Angus beef sirloin with a loaded potato and skewered grilled mushrooms. They have also started serving my favorite drink DR PEPPER!! Everything was delicious and I have been stuffed since :).

In the middle of lunch  he asked if I wanted to go the movies. Just out of the blue. We had discussed maybe seeing a movie this week since he is on vacation but wasn't expecting that day. LOL.

We went see Hunger Games II. We had just seen Hunger Games I and I loved it. I am not going to give any spoilers. But being that it is a trilogy it has to have cliffhanger. The first open ender wasn't so bad but this one I dislike. Otherwise, great movie. A lot of violence but love the story.

 I almost want to read the books. But history has shown if I read a book then watch the movie, I am disappointed in the movie. I always rather the books than the movie.

For example, lets take the Harry Potter Books and movies. BabyGirl and I read every Harry Potter book. We were one of the 1000's in line at Barnes and Nobles the night they came out at midnight. It was our tradition. BabyGirl read each Harry Potter at least 10 times, some more than that. So she knew the books very well. You can ask her if you don't believe me. She started reading it the moment we got into the car and didn't stop until she was finished. Thank God it was always on a weekend night.

We anticipated the movies. They were a let down for me. The movies were longer than any other movie at the time. As I watched I was confused because they had cut some out. I thought it ruined the story. But it is only my opinion.

So that's why I am conflicted if I should read the books or not. I probably won't. I 'll get over the disappointing ending.

The movie ended our day and we made it back home in one piece.

I consider that a great Anniversary outing!

Second Year Anniversary

After yesterday's dreary post I have a more uplifting one today.

Today is MyLove and I's second wedding anniversary.  

We laugh when I was in 7th grade he was joining the military.

He came into my life when I least expected it. He didn't turn it upside down. He blended into my BabyGirl and I's lives.

When we became serious, he had a heart to heart discussion with my daughter. He told her he was not going to try to replace her dad but he would be there for her always.  He knew she was the most important person in my life and he took it upon himself to have that discussion. He made her promises that he has always kept. He never backed out of them no matter how much MyBabyGirl pushed him away or just didn't respond. Thankfully, things have progressed to where they are okay with each other now. But that gesture will always be in my heart.

We've had some obstacles along the way but we have handled it…together.

Our relationship has shown me what a a real relationship should be. It is odd. I was married for 20+ years to another man and have never felt so accepted and loved like with this man.

We are so alike in many ways and but yet different in some.

We were both married before. I had a child while he didn't have any.

I was raised in one place for the first 18 years of my life. His family traveled so he never stayed in one place for long.

Throughout my life I have never had a healthy life. He had a healthy life except for that year with kidney cancer that he has recovered from.

Both of us love to play games. I rather word and shooter games. He likes strategic and sports games. They are all either PC, Wii or PS3.

I was an old fashioned cook using a microwave for heating only. He was a microwave cooker. He bakes and I hate it.  I have learned to use the microwave for cooking certain things.

We both can spend a whole afternoon in the same room but not speak any words to the other.

He likes military and history movies. I like romance and crime/drama.

We both like Classic rock but I'm more into the 70-80s while he likes the 60s-70s.

My temper is quick but it takes a lot to light his fuse. When he does, watch out.

He has more patience than me.

We both don't care for shopping.

That's just to name a few.

We would have never met if it was not for online dating. To think I almost didn't call him.

We are celebrating by going dine out and furniture shop. 

So everyone have a great day!

Mumble Jumble: No Motivation

I have had no motivation whatsoever. To do much of anything.

I can blame it on my recent gastrointestinal problems or any one of my medical malady. I can blame it on the cold. I can blame it on the holiday season stress. 

I don't know. I can't pinpoint the problem. I wish I could.

First, I don't have the motivation to read any of my favorite blogs I enjoy much less write my own. I have several in draft, completed. I just need to click publish but I don't have motivation to do that. I keep going over it and editing. I don't think it is good enough yet. I sometimes think I am not good enough to write. However, I remind myself when I started this blog, it was sorta like a diary, but publicly sharing my life to show others even with disabilities we go through the same joys and obstacles than those without. 

I have fellow bloggers and others say I have a gift and write well. It means a lot to me and thank them. Why don't I believe it?

I also have lost interest in Facebook, not that I ever had much interest in it in the first place. The only reason I maintain it is to keep in touch with my family and friends. If you think about it, its a shame. You have to go to a website to see what the most important people in your life are doing. There is something wrong with that.

I dread the holidays. I love the reason for the season, Jesus. I also enjoy the family time. But the rest such as shopping, fighting traffic and stressing I can do without. I find Christmas has become so commercialized it is ridiculous. The whole purpose of the Christmas Season is forgotten by I bet 50% or more of the population.

There are some things bothering the hell out of me in regards personal matters. Although I have voiced my thoughts before about certain things, the response has been rather condescending and 'it is what it is." But why is that I always have to conform to the changes. Or if I say okay, well then I'll do my own thing I am looked at as the bad person.

MyHubby says I should say how I just need to make my decisions on what makes me happy and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They sure as hell don't worry or care about what I think.

He is right. But it is hard. It's frustrating and maddening.

I have been praying asking God to give me direction and strength. Either I am not listening or he has his plan that he doesn't want me know about just yet.

Sorry about the rambling. I just wanted to let all of you great people who read my blog that I am around and do care about all of you but I'm just in a rare mood at this point. I am sure it shall pass.

Have a wonderful Holiday Season! Be careful and enjoy!

Dream: Very Vivid Dream, Ticked Off At Hubby

The other morning I woke up royally ticked. For no reason.

Yea, I know. It makes no sense.

I had such a vivid dream and was 10x ticked off in it. So imagine.

In my dream MyHubby told me he was going to Las Vegas. And he was leaving the next day.

I asked if he was taking me with him. He responded no, that he was going alone.

I was thinking but that place is "OUR" special place since we got married there. I couldn't believe he did not want me to go with him.

My heart was broken. I asked him what he was going do and he said I didn't have to know.

And then I got ticked off. I started asking him if he was having an affair or was leaving me.

He got all huffy and told me, no he was just going on a trip alone. He wouldn't give me any details like where he was staying, when he was coming back, etc.

It made no sense.

And if you follow my blog and have read about some of my dreams, you know my dreams can get jumbled with 2-3 things going on at the same time.

But I'll just finish this segment first.

Somehow my mom and sister is at my home.  I was upset and told them what Hubby was doing. He had his clothes hanging on a doorknob that he was going to bring. The clothes was really not Hubby's style. My mom and sister was going through them saying, "He was out of his mind."

That's all I remember because I woke up, as I said royally ticked.

Another segment of my dream is there were a gang of Hispanic boys hanging around our house. I went out to talk to them and I became interested in one. He was such a sweetheart and I wanted to adopt him.  This segment was sketchy. We were just talking and he had the same personality as BabyGirl. That segment ended abruptly.

My Analysis: I have no clue about the Hispanic boy. I do not want any more kids. lol.

As far as Hubby going to Vegas without me, the previous evening he reminded me our anniversary was next month. I probably would have remembered it as it got closer but it has not been on my mind. Wow! We'll be married 2 years and on our 6th year of knowing each other.

I have never became angry with him as I do in my dreams. He says it is a deep seeded anger, jokingly. But I can honestly say I don't. We are fine.  We have normal disagreements but we don't get angry like that. We talk about it, get over with and move on.  I know he wouldn't just tell me suddenly he was going somewheres without my input, especially a trip. I know he would never do something like that.

When I woke up, I told him he needs to stop doing that in my dreams. He looks at me like he is at a loss and have no idea what to do with me.

But that's okay. I know he still loves me, even with my craziness!!

Veteran's Day

Yesterday was Veteran's Day as you probably know, unless you are living under a rock.

Saturday, my Hubby and his former AF crew with their spouses got together at a local restaurant. They are mostly retired. It is always so interesting to hear their stories. 

I sometimes feel awkward because the spouses of the servicemen and servicewomen were with them through it all. I met Hubby after he was out of the service. They all know each other and have a connection. 

But I make the best of it. They are friendly and talk to me but I don't have the knowledge or experiences to share. 

I have learned how such a sheltered life I grew up in. I have no qualms about that. It is just the way I was raised. I didn't have the opportunities to travel and experience some of the military life. But it is sometimes mind-boggling when I hear some of their stories.

At one point our Veterans were huddled together which left the spouses such as myself fend for ourselves. One of the wives whose hubby is still on active duty as a Sargent Lieutenant started talking to me and another wife who seemed to feel the same way as me. Left out. 

She said she endures this all the time, being left hanging while her hubby mingles with his comrades. 

I told her to get through these I think of the sacrifices they did for the country. Feeling left out for a few hours is nothing compared to it.

Although Hubby didn't go to full combat, he still served. His former team members were his family. It is like a reunion. It is nice to meet people he talks about. 

She agreed and said she has become used to it in some ways.

One of the members did make a good point. Their team went to Desert Storm and they all made it back alive. God was with them. 

All in all, it was a good time.

Yesterday at the Memorial Service we attend, there is this man who sings like no other. He is always there for Christmas, Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. God gave him an awesome talent and he sings with such emotion. I want to cry when he signs America The Beautiful. 

One of the speakers made a good point. 

The place was full but with all the people in this city, I am sure more than half of our population didn't even think of the reason for this holiday.  Our vets made it possible for our freedoms and protection whether they went into combat or just worked in the offices. They all gave themselves to serve and protect us us.

Why can't everyone remember that?

Back to the speaker, he said he appreciated we all came out and every Veteran appreciates our participation, prayers and respect.

He said in certain words how sad that most Americans will not participate in a FREE Service to honor those who have protected and served us. But we will pay any kind of money to pack the stands at a football game or spend at the Veteran's Day sales. 

He is right.

It is sad. 

I saw this young Serviceman with a Purple Heart with his wife at his side.  I saw widows remembering their husbands who died for us.  I can't even imagine.

It just hits you when you go to these functions.  Yes, you know what it is all about but when you participate in something like that, reality punches you. 

There were several business who gave free meals to Veterans or some kind of discount. We decided to go to AppleBees after the service. Our waitress had this awesome shirt. She was complimented many times. I've looked for the shirt online but can't find one that is exactly like it. But it is something like this.

It had more blue but gorgeous. This is one of the times I wish I had a fancy phone with a camera LOL.

Anyway, I hope you had just one thought of the purpose of Veteran's Day. But you don't have to stop. If you see a solider in uniform or a Veteran, thank them. At any time.  Just a simple, "Thank you for serving" is enough. Hubby and I have done this many times. It warms your heart to see their faces brighten and hear the appreciative thank you in their voices.

The Cause of My Foot Pain

My apologies for not getting to write yesterday. It was a very busy day.

I went to a Podiatrist, Dr G. After doing x-rays he diagnosed me with Achilles Tendonitis. He said it can be caused by many things and hard for him to pinpoint. I think since it started when I was moving, it is from overuse.

He gave me a Cortisone shot in the ankle to relieve the swelling and inflammation.

He suggested that I either get BACKLESS/STRAPLESS 2'-2-1/2 inch wedge shoes like these.

I explained to him it was not gonna happen because the shoe will fall off. I need a strap to support it. So he gave some wedges to put inside of my shoe under the sole.

He gave me some interesting details about my foot. He said because of my CP and surgery, through the years my tendons has grown very stiff which causes me to walk more on my toes unnecessarily stretching my tendons, and making them weak, easier to get them inflamed. Hence, the backless strapless wedge shoes or use the wedges or vital.

He said my tendons are so far gone in being stiff that the usual regimen of stretch exercises for Achilles tendonitis my GP had given me is won't work for me.

I asked him if there was any way I can save my shoes because I have always walked to where my toes  ofthe shoe\wear out. If I am diligent, which I am not, I would have to buy shoes every 6 months for this reason. I attempt to get a thick sole at at the toes.

He said wearing the wedges will distribute the pressure equally to where my shoes will last double that time because I won't be walking on my toes. That excited me immensely! You have no idea!

He wants to see me back in one week and informed me that it can take 4-6 weeks for my swelling and inflammation to go away and I am back to my 'normal' self.

He did give me a handout about the shoes he suggested and where to get them. I went to one of them, Crazy Charlie Shoes. I attempted the Volatile wedge shoes and my notion was confirmed. It is actually dangerous for me because the shoe moves and I twist my foot or stumble. 

I want to give KUDOS to the salesgirl, Dacia. She was so patient in helping me.

It's a whole new buying experiencing try to fit a shoe with the wedges. I bought some and they slip a little but again the two inch wedges lefts my heel. She said I had 14 days to return them so I'll address this issue with Dr G next time. These are the shoes I ended up buying that was comfortable and had the rubber sole I needed.

He also gave me some brands from Wallyworld. I looked for them but I couldn't find any. I asked one of the workers and she said they didn't have any more.

And lastly, the suggestion I hate the most is I cannot go barefooted. I am always barefooted in the house. I enter door and shoes come off to have what I call Happy Feet. But he told me I needed to get some slippers with the required measurements or shoes. That is so hard to find in my size.  Hubby had some slippers like I would need but they are like 3 sizes too big.

He said if none of this works, which he is confident it will, another lengthening of my tendons may be in order down the road.  But he said surgery is absolutely last resort.

So I am in search for other shoes and/or slippers. But now I know I am not crazy and something isn't right. I am now on the journey of recovery.

Foot Pain Anxiety

During my move in January, I was on my feet a lot more than usual. Packing, loading cars, unloading cars, transporting our belongings to storage than back out into our new home and unpacking.

My feet hurt. They usually hurt when I am on them for a long period of time. After a rest I am fine. But this was different.

A few weeks later my weight bearing was off. Yes, my weight bearing is already off because of my cerebral palsy but this was different.  But I was still in denial.

I get up and instead of just taking a step like 'normal' I have to make a conscious effort to step and move. After a few steps I am fine. Also behind my left ankle started hurting. Just a dull pain, yet aggravating. Once I got off it, I was fine.

I continued to think it was just taking time to heal. The way I walk I tend to favor my right side with the weight bearing.

It is irritating and frustrating. Several months later, I visited my doctor for something else. I mentioned my problem. He said it might have been a strain and because of my CP (Cerebral Palsy) my ankles may be weakening. He told me to do some stretch exercises. He also gave me a fluid pill as my feet were swelling.

I did the exercises diligently. However, it made the problem worse.

My weight bearing still sucks royally. The pain is in back of my left ankle mostly. It is a burning sharp pain. The pain continues when I am off it so there is something not right.

I have piddled paddle around with this issue. I just didn't want to deal with it so I ignored it as much as I could.

I am finally coming to my senses and not to mention I am afraid I do more damage, if there is any damage. I need this taken care of.

I was not sure if I should go to a podiatrist or orthopedic.

I decided to start with a Podiatrist. When I think orthopedic I think surgery. I know probably unfounded but it is my thought process.

And I can always blame my crazy thought processes on my Cerebral Palsy. (HA! Hey it's my excuse!)

I called this well-known Podiatrist.  I'll call him Dr. B. He is on my Medicare insurance.

The lady asked me the regular questions, NAZ, age and insurance. She notified me that they do not take Medicare patients under 65. I thought that was weird. If I had another insurance they would.

I thought this was so wrong. I had friends on Facebook say it has to be illegal. I thought it was too. Discrimination at best.  But after calling Medicare, I learned unless they are accepting other new patients with only Medicare they can deny service.  There is no way to prove it either way.

I called another Podiatrist, the second best rated Podiatrist in this area by ratemds.com.  They gave me an appointment for tomorrow. That was pretty darn good considering they would have taken me the next day of my call but I had other things to do.

So I've been thinking about my appointment.

I'm nervous.

I am scared.

I keep thinking there is rarely anything simple with me medically.

My thoughts are:

How am I going to walk with a brace?  I know they are better made and won't be as bad as the big steel  stiff ones I had as a child.

What if he tells me to stay off it? Mind you I spend most of my time at home so it is not like I go all over the place. However, the fear of losing my independence sets in.

What if he wants me to go through physical therapy? Flashbacks of learning to walk after surgery with  rails dad made me and my mom moving my legs as I lay on that chest freezer as a child run through my mind.

I know I am thinking too much and hopefully imagining the worse. But arghh!

Having to deal with my few limitations of CP plus getting old just totally sucks!

But as my mom used to say,  it is what it is and I have to just deal with it.

BabyGirl Discovers World Market

My BabyGirl can be so funny sometimes.

During one of our mother/daughter outings last week, we stopped at CVS. I told her to pick out some candy and consider it her Halloween gift.

I know! How many parents actually give their child, especially adult children, a gift for Halloween?

In front of the cashier register there was a bin of mini bottles of wine. Her favorite kind, Moscato was included.

My daughter takes after me liking wine. I am sure she drinks more than me. Also, we both get all gaga about small and cute things. We agreed that the mini bottles were cute.

She requested to have the wine instead of the candy.

After making her promise she would not drink and drive, I bought her the wine AND candy.

Then the beginning of this week she calls me bubbling with joy!

She went to World Market for the first time.

Side note: My mother in law works there and I've been there a few times.  She has given us awesome cookies, candy and chips from there. YUM!

She excitedly rambled, "Mom they a lot of WINE there."

I said, "Yes, they do!"

She continued, "But they have all kinds of WINE, cool wine glasses and kitchen stuff."

I laughed and repeated, "Yes, they do."

She kept repeating joyfully, "They have wine, and cool wine glasses!"

After we finished the call, I chuckled to myself. It made me happy to be reminded that she is like me getting excited about simple things or when discovering new things.

A Picture With 2 stories

The first story is I am ready for some LSU football. Hubby gave me the socks for my birthday. We don't usually give gifts as we are getting older and we eventually get what we want ourselves. I love my socks!

The second story is the ridiculously long CVS receipt for about 8 items. If they would give shorter receipts they would save lots of money. And what is irritating is there are coupons for things I don't need or bought at that time and the expiration date is usually one or two weeks.

But on a good note. When I was checking out the girl told me it was 5.43. My meds don't cost no less than $35, it is usually $35-$78 depending on which meds I refill.

I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I was dumbfounded.

I suggested there was something wrong because it is usually more than that. She said, "No, it says 5.43"

I persisted asking her if she was absolutely sure. She said, "Yes, that is it."

I paid my 5.43.

I thought afterwards its either she made a huge mistake or maybe my account was tagged to not charge me because of the inconvenience they gave me for my flu shot a few weeks ago. You can read about that fiasco here.

I guess I may find out when I get my EOB from my insurance.

Now I am ready for some LSU FOOTBALL! Hope they do better this week than last week! GEAUX TIGERS!

Throw Back Thursday And Birthday Wishes

I decided to share a picture and short story about the picture for ThrowBack Thursday.

First, I want to say it is my birthday. I feel it is a miracle in itself that I made it this far. 

I have an "uncle" and friend that shares my birthday. Different year but same day. I write uncle in quotation because I could never call him Uncle Robert as I am older than him. We used to play together. He used to tell me I needed to call him Uncle.  But I refused and still don't call him Uncle Robert. We laugh about it. Don't know if he reads my blog. I already wished him Happy Birthday on his FB page. But for in case he does HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE ROBERT! I'm saying Uncle just because it is our special day HA!

There is another person who shares my birthday although she is not with us anymore. She is an angel in heaven. She was a year younger than me and we grew up together on The Island. I remember one year her mother gave both of us a birthday party which I still remember to this day. She was a kind loving person. I miss her and think about her, especially on our Birthday.  Happy Birthday Gwen!

Now onto the subject of my post.

I don't remember who took the picture. I assume it was a staff member. I assume their focus was my legs hence that's why part of our heads are cut off.

This is a picture of me at 9 years old. Every few months I would go the Crippled Children's clinic. (Gawd I hate that word "crippled") When they closed a few years ago I was able to obtain my records and this photo was one of a few included.

I suspect they took pictures to see my progress. 

I loved that shirt! It fit my personality at that time.

The person that was with me was my orthopedic doctor/surgeon. His name was Dr Brown. He lived in New Orleans and flew done to see a few of us then he would fly back the same day. When I needed surgery which were quite a few we would travel to New Orleans to him.

He will always be an inspiration and my hero. 

He went to heaven several years back.

You see, he had polio. He understood what us kids went through with surgery. He was caring and loving.  He was awesome at what he did.

He used to call me his Sunshine because I was always smiling even though I had tears coming down my face in pain after surgery or when he moved my legs a certain way.

I remember I did what most thought was impossible, learn to ride a two wheel bike. He was surprised but so happy and proud of me. That look on his face of delight will always be in my memory.

I hope he knew how much he helped his patients and how much we loved him.

Do you have someone that impacted your life? Who is your hero?

My Best Friend, Jeff--Happy Birthday!

Today I want to dedicate this post to an awesome person. It is his birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!

Jeff, I can just picture you reading this blushing royally! YEA! You know I LOVE YOU! It's been so long that I made you blush, I think this is a great time. Happy Happy Birthday My Handsome BFF!!

Jeff and I never met face to face. But he has been my best friend for years. I wonder if he remembers just how long. Geez its been a while for sure!

We met several years back as we were in a game room on POGO He was respectful, charming, kind, friendly, flirtatious and funny.

We eventually took our chatting to YAHOO messenger. I saw him on Video chat a couple of times and talked on the phone with him so I know he is not a psycho.

We spent countless hours on Yahoo Messenger Chat. You can't ever imagine.

A treasured friendship grew.

I won't lie. After my divorce I saw in him as a potential husband.  However, it just wasn't going to happen. Here are a few reasons among many.  

We live 877 miles apart, he in Illinois and I in Louisiana. We both had kids and neither one of us was capable of moving. And I don't think he was into me that way as I was into him.

As I look back now,  I think that was just what God wanted. God put Jeff and I together to be friends. I really wasn't ready to jump into another marriage anyway.

God knew I needed a friend like Jeff.

Jeff makes me laugh. Oh My! How he has made me laugh in the middle of blubbering! He had that knack with me. We had so many times we laughed I almost peed in my pants.

Jeff is my confidant and I trust him wholeheartedly. He saw me go through many dark moments and he was there for me. 

Jeff is a loving and caring man. He is an excellent father. He is an extraordinary human being.

Jeff never judges me. He accepts me for who I am.

He is honest (sometimes brutally but always with compassion) even when I do not want to hear it. I am sure sometimes he had no clue what the hell I was doing or thinking (I realize now, I didn't know either). I'm sure there were times he wanted to say, "I told you so" or wanted to reach into his computer screen and shake sense into me.

But he didn't. He listened. Never judging. He helped me pick myself up, brush off and move on. Sometimes only to go through the nonsense all over again. But he never left me. And he could have just pressed that disconnect button so easily.

He is so patient.

I had not met many men with such a kind compassionate heart. Any special lady would be so very lucky to have him as a husband. (But as I have told him, they have to go through my screening first HA!). Yes he is still searching for that special someone. 

He gave me advice I sometimes did not take. (If I had I might now have gone through so much heartache!) But no matter what he was ALWAYS there when I fell. He was there through cyberspace to read my pain and then to console and comfort me.

At times he knew me more than I knew myself. It could be frightening. He was able to penetrate through the false tough exterior I showed.  

He was with me going through the dating game. He gave me advice on what I shared with him, which was almost everything.

Typically, when a girl meets a man for the first time, they always tell (or should anyway) a friend or family member for in case something happens. Jeff was that person for me and boy did I drive him crazy. I am sorry my friend "SMILING"

He shares my joys. He was so happy for me when I found my Hubby. He said I deserved a good man.

I can go on and on about his positive traits but you get the idea. He will always be in my heart and I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

We don't chat like we used to. Life changes sometimes but never the love, thankfulness and joy i have for him. THANK YOU JEFF.

I have said I will travel and meet him one of these days. That still stands. One of these days he will hear a knock on the door and when he opens it there I will stand.  Hubby and I had it planned out once but it never panned out. But as soon as our finances ever stabilize or just if we get a few pennies, I am determined to meet my Handsome BEST FRIEND FOREVER!

In the meantime, Jeff, I wished you had that special someone to celebrate your birthday with you. I wish I could be there to celebrate it with you. I hope someone helps you celebrate.

I know! You say Birthdays are just another day. But you know how I am. :)

I miss you. I really do. We need to set up a chat date.

I hope you enjoy this special day the way you want to. You know I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. Always remember you are a very special friend to me!

I love you bunches my Handsome BFF!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!!

Love, Hug and kisses!

FLU SHOT FRUSTRATION WITH CVS AND MEDICARE

At the beginning of the month, I saw signs at my pharmacy, CVS as well as many other pharmacies advertising flu shots.

Last year, I didn't get my flu shot as when I went to the doctor, I was sick and they don't give them if you are ill. And then when I got better my doctor did not have any at the time and everywhere I called they said either they were out or not giving them anymore. So I failed to get one and luckily I didn't catch the flu. I was not willing to take that risk again.

When I went to pick upt my monthly medicines a big sign was hanging from the ceiling in the pharmacy area as well outside FLU SHOTS TODAY. However, when I inquired about them the pharamcy assistant told me they were not giving them that day.

What?

I look at the sign again and reminded her what their signs said, FLU SHOTS TODAY.

She explained that the pharmacist who gives them was not in that day. I annoyingly (but tactfully) suggested they take the sign down. She offered to give me an appointment for the next day to make sure the pharmacist was there.

I accepted the offer although I thought if I can walk-in anytime why do I need an appointment?

The next day I promptly arrived at the pharmacy. They attempted to put it through my insurance, several times. It kept rejecting. 

There were 4 people back there, with different solutions to the problem. All failed.

The pharmacist tech turned to me and started giving excuses.

Maybe I can only get the flu shot at the doctor's office or a clinic.  OR

Because I am not 65 years of age or older, I have to go the doctor OR

Maybe I have to go to WALGREENS.

Wait....

What??

 Lets roll the tape back. Did she just say what I thought she just said?!

Yes, she did. She suggested I go to their rivalry? Is it me or was that just stupid? How many employers would fire you if you suggested your customer to go to the competition?

I had looked it up before I had gone and all her excuses were wrong. I told her so.

They attempted for 45 minutes and my patience ran out. 

I walked to my car and thought, this is not right. Why was it so difficult? (Besides it seems everything I try to do, is difficult)

You know when something just keeps bugging you and you know you need to do something? That was me. I knew this was NOT right.

I didn't feel like coming all the way home and then have to return later after calling Medicare to find out the issue. So as I sat in the hot car and called Medicare. 

Just FYI: I do pay for Medicare because I am on disability. I am not getting this 'free'.

I thought talking to CVS was bad, I had no clue how bad it could get.

I told the Medicare Rep my situation. It was confirmed that I could get it at the pharmacy and I didn't have to be any age. She said they were probably punching the wrong code. I told her they tried for the past 45 minutes.

Then she asked..

(drum rolls)

"Are you sure it is the time to take flu shots?"

I wanted to just bang my head on the steering wheel! Really People? 

I sarcastically responded, "HMMMM! Lets see, this is September, pharmacies and doctors are advertising, so you tell me if it is the time? Oh and wait I am talking to a representative of Medicare and you don't know when flu shots are given? Are you serious?"

She responds, "Well I am sorry Ma'am. Maybe it is different around the nation?"

"Bang head on window".

I murmured a remark about typical government employees at work.

I then took a deep breath and asked her if she could hold on, I was going to walk back into CVS and then I can have her on the phone to relay messages to CVS. She did.

I know the pharmacy employees wanted to run away when they saw me coming. But I really didn't care. 

I told CVS that I had Medicare on the phone and she said they were putting the wrong code in, probably trying to put it under Medicare Part D instead of Part B. I relayed messages for another 15 minutes.

They were both saying the other was wrong. I told both of them (I had them on speaker by then) that they were going to have to figure it out because I was not leaving without my flu shot. It was utterly ridiculous.

THEN...

Out of the blue, a pharmacist got it! She said they had been putting wrong code.

"EXPLETIVES"

Do I need to say I wanted to cross over and punch her?

I thanked the Medicare rep and hung up. The pharmacist tech told me to have a seat they had to draw it up. Mind you I was already there for an hour.

As I sat there was a gentleman sitting there. He had arrived right before me and he had been waiting for his meds. He said, "Wow, you are one persistent girl, aren't you?" 

I laughed and said, "When I know something is not right, I try to get to the bottom of it." 

He said, "Good for you!"

I inquired what was taking them so long with his meds? He said he didn't know. They had told him 30 minutes. 

So he gets up and inquires. CVS informs, "Oh its been ready for the past 30 minutes. We called you on the intercom." 

Confused, he said, "I've been sitting there since I gave you my prescriptions and did not hear it."

Pharmacy tech responded, "Well I called on the intercom."

He disputed as they looked at him dumbfounded. I chimed in backing him up because I never heard it either. I was humming to the music occasionally while I was waiting for them so I would have noticed. It was totally BS!

Of course, not in so many words, CVS said we were mistaken.

Anyway, the man and I just looked at each other in resignation. He thanked me, wished me a good day and went along his way.

You just can't win battles when your opponents are dimwits.

I sat...

and waited.

10 minutes later I walked up and said I still needed my flu shot. The pharmacist said she was drawing it up. I told her it didn't take that long to draw up an injection.

She opened her mouth to say something but I did not want to hear another excuse.

My patience had finally disappeared. 

I interrupted and said I was a nurse and gave flu shots so I know it doesn't take that long to draw up a flu shot. I could have drawn up and given 10 patients if not more, in the time I had been waiting.

After 1 hour and 20 minutes I finally got my flu vaccination.

I did write to the corporate office. They said they turned it over to the manager and it will be taken care of. 

Time will tell.

I just hope with all the confusion they had with me, it doesn't happen with another customer. 

Stimulus Sermon

I have an opinion, just like everyone else about our economy, our President and our world. I've refrained from giving my opinion on my blog for many reasons.

But I received an email from a very awesome friend that pretty much sums up a very nice perspective of what I think is happening or will happen. I want to share it with you.

Thank you Greg! Love ya and big Hugs to you!)

You can state your opinion or not. I am interested and willing to hear anyone's view. But I refuse to get into nasty drawn out debates.

Disclaimer: I just know someone is going to snopes it and say this wasn't truly said etc. I. But it doesn't matter if the sermon ever happened or not. It describes exactly what is happening, in my humble opinion.

Genesis 47:13-27 

RECENT VIRGINIA CHURCH SERVICE - STIMULUS SERMON 

  

I would love to give the Pastor of this predominantly black church in Virginia three cheers. This guy is obviously a leader. Perhaps we should each decide who our real leader is... It is amazing to see that very little has changed in 4,000 years. 

Good morning, brothers and sisters; it's always a delight to see the pews crowded on Sunday morning, and so eager to get into God's Word. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you will, to the 47th chapter of Genesis. We'll begin our reading at verse 13, and go through verse 27. 

Brother Ray, would you stand and read that great passage for us? ... (reading) ... Thank you for that fine reading, Brother Ray. So we see that economic hard times fell upon Egypt , and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and placed the grain in great storehouses that he had built. So the people brought their money to Pharaoh, like a great tax increase, and gave it all to him willingly in return for grain. And this went on until their money ran out, and they were hungry again. 

So when they went to Pharaoh after that, they brought their livestock - their cattle, their horses, their sheep, and their donkey - to barter for grain, and verse 17 says that only took them through the end of that year. But the famine wasn't over, was it? So the next year, the people came before Pharaoh and admitted they had nothing left, except their land and their own lives. "There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our land. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we with our land will be servants to Pharaoh." So they surrendered their homes, their land, and their real estate to Pharaoh's government, and then sold themselves into slavery to him, in return for grain. 

What can we learn from this, brothers and sisters? 

That turning to the government instead of to God to be our provider in hard times only leads to slavery? Yes... That the only reason government wants to be our provider is to also become our master? 

Yes. After Jacob and Joseph passed on, and the Jews began to drift away from their GOD, even they too became slaves in the land of Egypt   . 

  

I also tell you a great truth today, and an ominous one. 

We see the same thing happening today - the government today wants to "share the wealth" once again, to take it from us and redistribute it back to us. It wants to take control of healthcare, just as it has taken control of education, and ration it back to us, and when government rations it, then government decides who gets it, and how much, and what kind. And if we go along with it, and do it willingly, then we will wind up no differently than the people in Egypt did four thousand years ago - as slaves to the government, and as slaves to their leaders. 

What Mr. Obama's government is doing now is no different from what Pharaoh's government did then, and it will end the same. And a lot of people like to call Mr. Obama a "Messiah," don't they? Is he a Messiah? A savior? Didn't the Egyptians say, after Pharaoh made them his slaves, "You have saved our lives; may it please my lord, we will be servants to Pharaoh"? Well, I tell you this - I know the Messiah; the Messiah is a friend of mine; and Mr. OBAMA IS NO MESSIAH! No, brothers and sisters, if Mr. Obama is a character from the Bible, then he is Pharaoh. Bow with me in prayer, if you will... 

Lord, You alone are worthy to be served, and we rely on You, and You alone. We confess that the government is not our deliverer, and never rightly will be. We read in the eighth chapter of 1 Samuel, when Samuel warned the people of what a ruler would do, where it says "And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the LORD will not answer you in that day..." 

And Lord, we acknowledge that day has come. We cry out to you because of the ruler that we have chosen for ourselves as a nation. Lord, we pray for this nation. We pray for revival, and we pray for deliverance from those who would be our masters. Give us hearts to seek You and hands to serve You, and protect Your people from the atrocities of a new Pharaoh's government. In God We Trust...   

  

And all of God’s people said amen! 

 

And I repeat AMEN!

GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!

Review: Divine Towels

I normally don't write book reviews but since I promised the author, Beau Jason McGlynn  I would.

Initially, he grabbed my attention with a post on one of Facebook's Cerebral Palsy group. 

Jason took Scriptures of the Bible and rolled it into a modern day parable. His knowledge of the bible astounded me. Yes, I read my bible but it was just awesome to see how he could parallel it to this day and age.

"Divine Towels" is a work of fiction. Its about a son, Ethan and his mother, Claire who struggle through life but never doubt their love for God and God's love for them. For years they have tried to figure out God's plan for them. They want to be servants of God. But they don't know how.

Then one day God speaks to them and they begin their journey opening a nonprofit store, Divine Towels, to heal people. They are vessels of God following his guidance. The service affects people in a phenomenal way. 

 They become successful but they face opposition. 

I don't want to give any spoilers and want you to read it to see what happens. You won't be disappointed!

I obviously highly recommend this book, no matter what your religion is or what you believe in.

It reminded me what all of us are supposed to be doing, loving and serving God. 

I requested the book from the library which they obliged as I don't keep many books. But I guarantee you that I am buying my own copy to sit on my book shelf. I know for sure you can get it on Amazon or for your Kindle or other computer.

Why I Couldn't Be Football Player!

Yes! Folks! It is that time again. Are you readddyyy for some fooootballl?!

This weekend my favorite Collegiate and NFL teams won. Yea, that's right!

Our Mighty LSU tigers easily snuffed out the UAM Blazers, 17-56!

And our New Orleans Saints made all the so-called "ANALYSTS" eat their words that our Saints couldn't win the Atlanta Falcons. The Saints love their fans at the edge of their seats but they pulled it off 23-17. It just wouldn't be them if they didn't do so.

Through the years I have watched football I've come up with some thoughts of why I couldn't be a football player. I would love to make millions of bucks running after a ball.

And these reasons may or may not be associated with my Cerebral Palsy. I'll let you come up with your own conclusions about them.

One: If I fell I wouldn't be able to jump back up as they do. I envy them. Someone would have to help me up. Or we would get a delay of game until I got up and that could be a while.

Two:  When I would get tackled it would tick me off royally. Think about it. You running with the ball aiming for that goal line. You see it getting closer and then BAM! You're hit.  You fall down or get pushed out of bounds. No. I don't think so.  I would want to jump them, scratch their eyes out and pound my fists into them!

And I probably wouldn't want to get up. Yea, that minor problem again.

Three:  I would hate my fellow teammates bumping my helmet with his or chest bumping. Or slapping my helmetC;o.pushing my head every which way. No. I don't think so. High five me with hands but none of the mentioned.   I know it is excitement but C'mon!  You can hurt someone like that!

Also, no running to me and jumping on me to catch you or wrap your legs around me n excitement. Again, I would fall down.

Four: I would not be able to drink with someone squirting the liquid in my mouth, especially after they just squirted into another person's mouth..First, I can't drink like that..and then the germs...EWWW!!

Five: The long practices and exercise would do me in.

Six: If you're in NFL you play through rain, sleet, heat and cold. I'll stay in my dry warm cozy house.

Seven: Wearing the big bulky uniform would weigh me down.

Eight: If I survived the game, I wouldn't want to deal with the aches. pains and bruises after. Then have to get up and do it all over again the next weekend.

I am sure these are only a few that I can think of. I really need to have pen and paper next to me when I watch it so I can jot ideas down.

Ya'll enjoy the football season! Root for your teams! But remember there is no reason to be nasty with someone who is not for your team. It's great to joke in fun etc but there's no need to get all bent out of shape.

College Books Outrageously Overpriced!!

BabyGirl is on her second-to-last semester in college. She will graduate in 2014 and will go back later for her Master's degree. She wants a break and she has to figure out how to come up with the money for her Master's because TOPS and her scholarship runs out. She is not willing to go the student loan route.

I am fine with that. I do believe she will return eventually. My goal was for her to get a college education and once again she pulled it off for me and herself. What more can a mom ask for?

It has been a struggle financially. It's been stressful for her. Luckily, she was able to get by with TOPS and a scholarship. We still have to pay for books and part of the tuition;

You see tuition keeps going up but TOPS don't increase..ridiculous. Almost every single semester tuition has gone up. 

Every semester I ask her how much her books are and I help her as much as I can. Her dad helps her out with the books as well, when she asks.

I've said it every semester. The cost of books are ridiculously high.  Hubby and I have had the conversation ever single semester how college and the book companies rip off students. How profitable they are. 

Luckily, some books are ebooks and they are able to rent books through online or at bookstores locally. Also, she has borrowed books from other students who already had the class and she loans her out.  I think a couple of semesters she has shared a book with another student.

By the way the rental is a little bit less than buying them. So I am sure the publisher/author is getting money from that too.

I sit and wonder. BabyGirl has help. But what about the kids who don't have scholarships or TOPS? What if their parents can't truly help them? For these kids they have to come up with tuition AND the money for the ridiculously overpriced books.

I have noticed through BabyGirl's college years how it is a racket. Every single year the companies come up with a new edition so the edition used the previous year is obsolete. The smart girl my BabyGirl is, has muddled through with the older edition a few times.

This semester she told me she needed 3 books. She bought one at B&N for almost $40. She has one to get that her professor wrote (I wonder what his share is) I think she said for another 40+. And then this last book is what freaked me out! The professor said it was okay to get last year's edition, is....are you sitting down...$97!  I expressed my shock with expletives. Then she said, "But Mom the newer edition is $180!"

Are you FREAKING kidding me? 

Is it me or am I the only one who thinks this is insane? This is just totally wrong.

I am seriously thinking of getting the publisher's name and address and write to them letting them know how I feel about their overpriced book.

What's the most you've paid for a textbook for college or trade school? What do you think about the cost of college and textbooks?

Dream: Black Bean, Popcorn and Raisin Medley

Last night I had a dream. Yea, my dreams are off the wall! But at least this one is not about BabyGirl or my car missing or being lost!

It was my parents, Hubby and mother in law staying in a drab room. The room was like one at a Retreat House I attend, except very drabby and empty. Just one room with a small bath connecting.

Don't know where the furniture was. All I saw was four walls of drab grey.

I was standing at the stove I presume because I was looking into a gumbo pot and reading a recipe that was sitting on a counter that looked like the one in my old apartment.

The recipe stated that I had to put a little bit of olive oil at the bottom of the pot. Throw in the popcorn kernels, black beans and raisins. Then allow the popcorn to pop slightly, whatever that means. I was to stir constantly.

Following the directions the popcorn did pop but after it was cooked the popcorn was green so the pot medley was black and green.

Scene changed as most of my dreams do.

I had 4 pieces of chicken and when I was getting ready to serve, I realized that I had five people not four. So I started cutting the chicken pieces in half. In my mind I would cut them in half, put them back together and make 5. I know. Illogical. But its my dream.

So I manage to get my 5 pieces of  chicken and serve everyone. I put the plates in front of everyone. They all look at each other and then at me.

My Mother-in-Law asked, "What in the world?"

Being clueless, I said, "What? Its Black beans, popcorn and raisins." I look around and tell my my mom, "You like black beans."

At my dad and then Hubby: "You like popcorn."

To everyone: "And I like raisins. And it s a veggie to go with the chicken!"

I thankfully woke up!

Veggie! Green popcorn? Black bean, raisin and popcorn medley?

Who knows where that came from!