Monday, November 29, 2010

Wood Chopping, Pregnant BFF, Kid skips school and what's for dinner-Dream

In my dream last night I was in my home I lived in when I was married. It seemed bigger and the window and porch was on the side of the trailer instead of the back. Instead of a neighborhood there was only land all around with a barbed-wire fence.

My daughter, dad and I were discussing where I wanted to go eat. I kept telling dad wherever.

In the meantime, a Sam Elliot kind of guy with darker hair and an unknown buddy knocked on my door. When I answered it, he asked if any of us wanted a job. I excitedly accepted. I got in my car (Don’t know what kind, it just seemed larger), drove to the backyard and rolled down my window. They would give me a slat of wood and I would saw it with a little saw. I felt accomplished.

Scene changed with my BFF, JM visiting with a newborn baby. I kept saying, “Awww look how cute, can I hold it?” She handed me the baby. This scene happened repetitively for a while.

Scene changed back to Dad and me continuing our conversation about what I wanted to eat. I told him whatever but was thinking steak. He kept giving options but I kept saying whatever.

Layla comes in the room and I asked her what the hell she was doing home, she was supposed to be at school. She was about 8 or 9 and I remember that short set she wore at Gulf Shores. She blatantly admitted she skipped school. I couldn’t believe what she had just blurted. I thought for a minute and asked her if she skipped school the day before and she shrugged and said, “Yea.” I yelled at her that she was punished!

I woke up.

Analysis: Sam Elliot: We watched November Christmas last night. Randal asked if I wanted to watch it. I told him yea but I’d probably cry and that I did.

Chopping wood: Maybe because of the Christmas trees in the movie.

BFF having a baby: LMAO. I’m sure she would like that NOT. Maybe because my niece is pregnant? Or I was looking at pics on FB yesterday.

Dad and I talking about what to eat—No idea. Maybe because I am planning Dad’s birthday lunch Sunday.

Layla skipping school—Hmm don’t know but she was young again. Maybe I secretly wished she would be younger. I wonder if she skipped school. Layla, are you willing to respond? J

Sunday, November 28, 2010

No Excuse for Rudeness..especially in Family!

Last month I went to my sister's to celebrate her son,my godchild's birthday. He made 30 years old. My whole family was there except my daughter (LG)but she was coming after work and my SO was working as well. We live 20 minutes from my sister's (MB) house. That day the New Orleans Saints game was on.

When I got there the birthday man (AB), my brother in law (TB) and neice's boyfriend (SC) was in front of the TV watching it barely acknowledging us. When we ate the 3 just sat in front of the TV yelling and watching football while the rest of us was at the table.

Remember, we took the time to buy a card, drove our 20 miles  and make our day available for (AB).

At half-time, (AB) and (TB) comes yelling, "C'mon, its half time, lets do the cake." So we hurriedly gave him the cards and we ate cake.

Right before the game ended, my mom and dad left. However, they had seen LG two days before and they did their duty for (AB). My daughter called me and told me she got off work early and was on her way. Everyone knew she was coming a little later.

The game ended and I was so ready to leave but I was waiting for my daughter so I could see her and we had to give each other stuff. Well out of the blue AB, SC, my  neice (BB) and AB's girlfriend (BC) started talking about going to Wallyworld to look for Christmas decorations. One of them ask when? AB says, "Let's go now." I kept repeating, "LG is coming" to deaf ears. LG  had just called to tell me she was on her way.

Well AB says, "Lets go now." I thought, "Is he really going to leave like this?" AB, SC,BC and BB start getting their stuff. It was such confusion and  I was so upset, it was like everyone talking was blending into each other.

I realized they were actually going to leave. So I called my daughter stating they were getting ready to leave.

She said, "I'm on my way."
I responded, "I know. Sorry."

I felt disappointed, hurt, frustrated and anger.

I could tell by her voice she was disappointed. "I bought him a card and decorated it."
I suggested, "Throw it away or mail it to him."
She responded, "But I have all kinds of faces on it and stuff." Then she adds, "Well since I am on my way, I am going to just visit with Nanny." (My sister, MB)

Well in the meantime AB is rushing everyone to go. AB has always been loud and can't keep still. It is like he is hyper.

My daughter calls me back saying that she changed her mind and she turned around and is going home. We made arrangements to meet at a later date.

So I got off the phone and told MB I was leaving. She asked me to wait because she was going to fix  some for my SO (Significant other for those who don't know) to bring back.

AB looks outside and says, "Nanny, you have to move your car. You are behind the car we are using"

I asked, "You can't go around me?"

MB yelled, "Just hold on."

AB totally ignores MB and tells me "No, you are behind me."

I said, "Take my keys and move my car then."

MB is saying, "Just calm down and wait a few minutes."

AB answers, "There is no where to put your car." Which was true except for the grass and it was wet.

MB finishes fixing the plate and I had other stuff to bring out the car so MB and BC walks out helping me. After we got the stuff in my car I hugged BC and MB.

MB whispered, "I am so sorry."

I responded, "I do not hold you responsible and you don't owe me an apology."

Do you know while I was saying bye, the other 3 had already sat in the car waiting for me to back out?

When I started on the road, AB was tailgating me.

As I drove home, I ran everything in my head and I became quite upset. When I entered the door my SO asked me what happened? I just cried and told him everything.

AB has done hurtful things to me in the past and once I told him how I felt but he never responded.

I meditated, prayed, talked to a friend and read my bible for an answer for a few days.

I came to the resolution that even if I said something it wouldn't matter. He is selfish and inconsiderate. MB and I never discussed it because my issue is not with my sister.

I am planning my dad's birthday next Sunday to be here. The game is at noon. I called mom today and we started talking.

I told her what happened after they left on AB's birthday. She told me that MB apologized for the rudeness to her when they met up at yoga. My mom told her they were all adults, yes, they were rude but the apology from her is not necessary.

As we talked she told me by my saying he is hyper is making an excuse. She said there is absolutely no reason for rudeness. I agree. She was not happy with the situation that day without knowing what happened.

I told her I had been thinking alot of what to do and I have decided in order not to be in that situation again, I am contemplating in not going to AB's birthday. He doesn't appreciate it and obviously doesn't care.

As w were talking that hurt came back and I started crying. I thought I was over it. I get so frustrated with my sensitive side.

My mom said that she went to retreat last weekend and talked to the priest. The priest said when someone hurts you, you will always be leery with that person because you have the knowledge that they have the capability of hurting you again. It is normal. The hurt will lessened in time but from time to time, it will resurface. The important thing is how you deal with it.

I told mom I will write or call my sister and tell her its at noon and to remind them to record the game like I will be doing because the game will not be on here. If they think the game is so important they don't have to come and I feel adamant about that.

Mom had an afterthought and asked what time will Layla be available. She said they were free all that day so if we want it at 4-5 that is fine. So I need to call her and make sure she is off that day and if not I will make it for when its convenient for her.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Taco Dream

I guess I should have themed this journal as Dream Blog LOL.

My dream last night was..well as usual, weird. My mom, dad and I were what seemed like Mexico or somewhere like that. We were going to some kind of meeting. Our hotel was huge with the lobby being like a huge bank. We all needed to shower. We got to the room and Mom went first.

She was taking so long that my dad said, "Lets go."
I asked, "Where?"
He responded, "We're going find another shower."
I'm thinking, "Okay. This is totally weird."

We get in the car and it was like a 30 minute ride to another hotel. All I remember was seeing pastures as we rode. I kept thinking, "We don't have any clothes to change into."

So I mentioned to daddy that we had no clothes. He said, "It'll be alright."

We finally arrive to another hotel that looked like a castle. There was a gang of kids (Mexican and white) hanging around. My dad told me to watch the car while he goes in to see if he can find a shower for us.

I lean against the car with my arms folded and this one kid from the gang walks up to the car. He was a white, chubby bullish 9 year old kid. He proceeds to the car and opens the door.

I walked up to him and pushed him and told him, "Get away from the car."

He walks to the other side and sticks his head into the window. I, again, walk to him and push him and told him, "Didn't you hear me? Get away from the car!"

He runs to the other side and grabs something out of the car. I chase him yelling at him to give it back. A lanky Mexican from the group runs after the boy and grabs the item and gives it back to me.

The bully never said a word.

At that moment my dad comes out and announces he found a shower. So we walk into the hotel and dad informs me that we are looking for rooms 5 and 7. It seemed like we were walking for miles. We finally find them and dad orders me to go into 7 and shower. I tell him, once again, "I don't have any clothes to change into." He says, "Put the ones you have on and when we get back to the hotel, you can change." The thought of taking a shower and putting back on panties I had before grossed me out. So I exclaimed, "Ewwww." He left me standing there.

I walk into the door and there's this one huge shower with 40 or so shower heads. It was like an old time bathhouse. There was a few people in there. I thought, "I am not getting naked in front of these people". Once one shower head went on, ALL the shower heads went on so it was like a torrential rain coming down.

My clothes was soaked so I thought well just take your clothes off dummy. So I did and opened the door and threw them out of the door by a bag thinking they would dry. There were no towel racks. It was just one big room with showers.

When I went back out to get my clothes.The bag and clothes were gone! So I'm like "F-- what do I do now?" I somehow get a towel and wrapped myself with it and went searching for my dad. He appears clothed the same way. I told him, "See I told you we shouldn't have taken our clothes off." So he commands, "Lets go find the receptionist."

We start walking and there were vendors down the hall. I was checking them out as we walked by. THEN I saw this man with a HUGE Taco. This taco was humongous with all the fixings. I yelled at dad, "Look at this taco." He kept walking and said, "NO." I stopped and said, "Dad just look at this humongous taco!" He said, "You can't have tacos." I said, "DAMMIT, I didn't ask you for one, I just wanted you to look at it."He kept walking so I ran to catch up with him. I was royally pissed because he didn't want to see the taco. I wished I had a camera to take a picture of it.

We get to the receptionist and dad told her that someone picked up our clothes. She was snooty and said, "The maid probably picked them up." Dad asked, "Where do I find the maid" She said,  "You can't".

Scene changes and we whiz back to our original hotel. There was this huge pool in between the parking lot and rooms so dad informed me that I had to swim to the other side.

I felt defeated by then and jumped in the pool and swam to the other side.

Scene changes and we are walking into the room with Mom just getting out of the bathroom.

"Where the hell have y'all been?" She asked with impatience. Dad told her that we had to go to another hotel since she was taking so long. She exclaimed, "Yea, right!" Dad became frustrated and said if she wouldn't have taken so long he wouldn't have had to spend 50 bucks an hour for a shower.

I woke up...

Analysis: Who in the hell knows but guess what we are eating today? Yep! TACOS! LOL

Thanksgiving/Weird Dream

Thanksgiving, weird dream
I meant to copy/paste this from my LJ yesterday but got distracted so here it is from yesterday.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, since my daughter was going to Houma to be with her friend, I decided that she and I go eat somewheres. We invited my friend/cousin to come along. Layla picked Olive Garden

If you love chocolate, you HAVE to try the Triple Chocolate Stratta. That piece of cake is one of the best chocolate cakes I've eaten. Of course the entrees were delicious as usual.

We went to my Love's brother's home and had the traditional turkey dinner (lunch). It was delicious. His mom makes this pecan pie that is out of this world. I never cared for pecan pie until I ate hers.

After lunch which was also delicious, we watched Eat, Pray and Love. It was an okay movie. I rather the book. Then we watched the edge of the seats Saints vs. Cowboys game. The Saints never fail to keep their fans on the edge of their seats. But they came through! WHO DAT?!!

We came home and I read for a bit. I am reading P.S. I Love You. I cried the first chapter but I'm better now that I'm 3/4 through LOL. I went to bed with a headache and woke up with one. It was weird morning/night.

I remember waking up with Randal on top of me (No, NOT THATT). He was telling me bye before he left for work. I remember his warm body on mine holding me while I was  thinking I need to wake up to hug him too and tell him I loved him  but just couldn't. He evidentally left me and I went back to sleep. (This did happen for in case you wonder after reading about my dream LOL) Then I woke up at 6:30 because nature was calling then I thought, "Crap, I'm so tired. Why am I so tired?, crawled back under the covers grabbing Randal's side as well and drifted off to sleep.

I keep dreaming weird dreams. In this dream I was living in a house. The outside looked like my Granny's  old house on the island  and inside was my childhood best friend's MJ's home, also on the island. It was chaotic. My mom kept telling me to "Come on! Lets get out of here!" I thought, "I can't. I can't do it.". There was a mixture of scenes as I looked out the window. One area was two men shooting at each other with pistols. Another area was some army tanks coming through. Then yet another area there were ambulances with sirens andl lights. Nearby was a calm park with kids laughing and playing on the swings.

My mom kept telling me something (I don't remember) and i kept saying "This is a dream. Get me out of this dream". I was crying and it seemed like everything was happening over and over. I felt this terror in my dream like something was going wrong. Then in my dream I woke up and told mom it was a dream. She said, "No, its not!" and then.... I REALLY WOKE UP.

Do I really want to analyze this dream? NAHH..Its still reeling in my head.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving ALL!

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I  am thankful for all of you.

I am thankful to God for giving me my daughter who I am extremely proud of and love with all my heart.

I am  thankful to have a wonderful domestic partner who returns my love unconditionally and is always there for me. He is really a special man.

I am thankful for my parents and sister. They've seen me through a lot and always there for me. They are my heroes.

I am thankful for reconnecting and getting closer to my cousin Kathy these past few months.

I am thankful for my all of my online friends including  Jeff and Phyllis (kindred spirit).

I am thankful for good health this year.

I am thankful for having a roof over my head, enough money to pay my bills and food on the table.

I am also thankful for those people who came into my life throughout the years who were judgemental, evil or harassed m. They only taught me to be stronger and learn I didn't want to be that kind of person..

I am even thankful for my stormy relationship I had with my ex as that situation taught me what I don't need made me realize what I really want among other things.

Last but not least, I am thankful for God in my life.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Granny Dream

 Last night was all about Granny. It was like watching a montage of her. She was walking slowly in the big house she lived in. Then she was sitting in her corner sucking chicken bones with her dogs around her, one was Ginger.. What were her other dogs names anyone remember? Another scene was she was with us grocery shopping. She was in her rocker watching a soap opera. One scene was I was in a bed and she wanted to spoon feed me LOL.  She walked outside putting her clothes on her clothesline.

It was sorta de ja vu. A coloring book was somewheres in there and a fig tree.

There was a scene  I was at the graveyard and she was sitting on the side of me. I woke up and cried because I remember that  day I went to the church and I learned they locked a church. I always thought a church was always opened at least during the day. I was in a pure panic mode  that day so I searched for her grave, found it and fell on her plot and sobbed telling her spirit all my problems and that Whoosh of peace and resolution came to me. She told me in her own way  what to do.

To this day I still say she saved me. I went to therapy and got my self esteem and confidence back.

Damn that was such a dark time for me I never want to get to again.

This analysis is easy, with the  holidays coming and people talking about their loved ones who have gone to haven. However, it strikes me weird that all the scenes did happen.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Couch Sassion Dream

sAmazingly, my dream had nothing do with my lost car, Layla or being lost, kind of.

One of my BFF, Bee and I were cruising the streets when her car sputtered. The car was one of those pimped up big cars. It gave the aura of being out of gas.

I laughed and told Bee that Romnie would siphon gas for us. Evidently, it was a private joke between the 3 of us.

Romnie was another BFF of mine. He was a talented artist but never did anything with it from the best of my knowledge. I always thought it was a wasted talent. He hung around girls most of the time.  He worked at Shoe Department. It seems after graduation, he disappeared. When I lived in The Berry, I would meet up with his mom every once in a blue moon. She is a doll! I’d ask about Romnie. The last time I saw her, she said he had a stroke and was being taken care of by aides in New Orleans. I was totally bummd out.  I miss and love OUR ROMNIE!

Anyway, back to the dream. So I disclosed wondering what happened to him. Bee informed me that he was living in tow. I immediately declared that we should go see him.
She said he lived on Co chon Road. So we go down the road and she told me it would be on my side. So I excitedly called out the names of the street as we pass by. Finally, a bigger than normal street sign with
whizzed by. I yelled, “That’s it.” Bee exclaimed we would have to go around again. We went around the block about 4 times before we finally reached the street. I told her that it was near my house. Bee countered that my house was on the other side. I shrugged like I know where I live LOL.

When she turned, the beginning of the street was SLUM VALLEY. I exclaimed sadly, “Oh Bee!” She said, “Just wait, it gets better.” She was right, after a few miles the Slum Valley turned into a long winding road of homes, She finally turns onto a limestone driveway where a dilapidated mobile home was perched right smack in the middle of two mansions. 

Romnie was outside dressed in coveralls (I don’t think I ever saw Romnie in coveralls.) bending under the hood of a clunker truck.  Before Bee could turn the ignition off I jumped out t he car, running and screaming, “ROMNIE! ROMNIE!”

He pokes out his head looking curiously. He walks slowly towards me and realized it was me. He asked, “Lisa? What the hell?”  I go to hug him but he had oil all over his hands so he hugged m with his elbows. I was so excited I babbled asking him how he had been, how excited I was to see him etc.

He again, asked what I was doing there. I told him about the gas situation and he said he needed a beak and invited us to go inside with him. We walk in the trailer and I immediately saw how the outside was such a disguise. It was huge and beautiful inside.
This pregnant girl comes in and Romnie introduces her as Dorie. Awkwardness instantly transpired. However, I was just so thrilled to see Romnie. I saw that Dorie was pregnant, about 6 months along.

I stated the obvious, “you are pregnant!” She gazed at me like if her eyes could kill, she would. Romnie confirmed she was.

I exclaimed, “You are going to be a daddy. There is going to be a mini Romnie!” Dorie looked at Romnie. Romnie looked at Bee. Bee looked at Dorie. There was such tension in the air but I was just so excited to see Romnie.

We talked but I can’t remember any of it.

Then Bee stood up and said we would be leaving. Romnie walked us outside and we hugged again….Then I woke up.

ANALYSIS: I don’t know. I’ve been seeing Bee ‘liking’ my statuses and photos.”  COUCH SASSION for Co chon is kind of hilarious. Don’t know any Dories, or one I can remember. It had something to do with a car but at least it wasn’t mine LOL.

I wonder what Romnie is doing. It would be totally awesome if we could get together again one day.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Same Theme Dream

When I finally fell asleep last night, I must have dreamed all night. I'm dead tired today.

I was working at the nursing home I used to work  at but they only wanted to give me 4 hours. I didn't even want to work that many. I noticed the staff had different uniforms. The aides had a grey and baby blue pantsuit. The nurses had black uniforms. My former, coworker Gloria, came bouncing in saying, "Look who has finally came to work."  I looked at her and asked where she had been. Never got an answer.

My former Director of Nursing(DON) strolled in and said she didn't know I was coming in. I told her I could leave. She said that she wanted Layla, my daughter and college student to work the midnight shift. I told her I would not allow that.

Then the dream shifted to the DON saying there was going to be a state audit. I shrugged and asked what that has to do with me. She said if I wanted vacation I needed to talk to Ms. Boner. Yes folks, B-O-N-E-R. I thought that was a  really weird name.       

Layla came and told me that my car needed repairs. I went to the mechanic and he told me I had to changed the gas cap. I asked how much it was going to cost me and he said, "We can negotiate." I said, "Negotiate, my azz.".

ANALYSIS: Your guess is as good as mine. Theme is consistent: Working, Layla and car. What is with that?

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Writing Down Dreams

It seems this blog has taken off to the Dream theme. So here I am.

Monday, I remember dreaming. However, I can't remember what it was. I remember thinking, 'Remember this dream'. Turned over and went back to sleep. I woke up and there you have it, I couldn't remember the dream.

I put a pad and pencil on my bedside for Tuesday. I remember dreaming and waking up. I repeated the dream in my head several times and thought I really should write this down. I was so tired and said to myself, 'Nah, I'll remember this one." Again, I forgot.

Last night, I dreamed. I couldn't remember one and the one I remember is all scattered. Of course, alot of my dreams are scattered. But anyway...

In my dream last night (or to be technical, this morning) I was in this house and I could look out the window and see houses that were being built in another place. Place as in different country or state. These homes had lights all around them and I was amazed how I could see them building the homes from so far away.

Then Layla came into the picture and told me that she was going to buy me a house and take care of me. I told her that she didn't have to, I was fine. She kept telling me she needed to. She said she would take care of me then go to school. I told her that didn't make sense. She had to go to school, make a career for herself and then, if I need, she can help me but until school is finished, she was not to worry about me.

Dream switched to being at my friend's house, JoAnn. We were exchanging gifts and she had given me a software program that was 20 years old but a masterpiece. The box said

The last segment was I was in a barren room on my bed. I had my earplugs in my ears but could hear someone honking their car horn. After a few minutes I went to the door and there was my friend Bee and her sister, Sheri. Once they saw me, Bee got out of the car and said, "Hey, I have to go to work in about 1/2 hour and was wondering if I can come every morning." I looked at her confused but said, "Sure".

I feel I am missing some pieces of my dreams but what can I do if I can't remember them? LOL.

ANALYSIS:  Bee: Well I have been looking at pics and getting FB messages from her. I did look at some pics on Sheri's FB.

Layla: I don't know what that is all about. There would be a definitely NO-NO for Layla to take care of me instead of going to school.  Her schooling is of utmost importance to me. House: Randal and I have talked some about building homes recently.

JoAnn and Software: I have no earthly idea.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Cerebral Palsy

I just thought I'd explain it for some of you who don't know what Cerebral Palsy (CP) is I’ve met so many people with misconceptions. The first they think is POLIO. I

I'll start telling you what it is not: 

1. It is not terminal.
2. It is not progressive.
3. It is not hereditary.
4. It is not a disease.

CP is caused my injury or abnormalities to the brain due to lack of oxygen or other factors such as infection. When I was growing up, experts stated that was the cause. However, I’ve noticed they change slightly and now they say only a minority of child cases with CP are caused by lack of oxygen. Go figure. 

Some known causes of CP:
1. Infections during pregnancy. (That is why prenatal care is a necessity)
2. A lack of oxygen reaching the fetus (There’s that lack of oxygen LOL).
3. Premature birth (Lungs are not developed so oxygen is not going to brain as it should.)
4. Birth asphyxia (Lack of oxygen again! Is there a pattern here?)
5. Blood disease or severe jaundice.
6. Acquired

(In my case, I had pneumonia and quit breathing at age of 6 months at a hospital. When my mom pressed the button and no one came, she grabbed me from the oxygen tent and started running down the hall. Fortunately, my pediatrician was walking to the room and got me going again LOL)

It affects movement mostly but it also can affect hearing, seeing and thinking. (See! my excuses were legit as far as thinking goes LOL).

Common symptoms are spasticity, dysarthria and unsteady balance or movement. (My mom said after the incident with the hospital she started noticing little things like my feet turned in and I couldn’t walk when I should have been.). Mental retardation, seizures and paralysis may accompany CP.

There are 4 main types of CP. Ataxia, Athetoid, spastic and mixed.
Ataxia: Disturbed sense of balance and perception. (That’s where my weeble wobble don’t fall down, most of the time comes fromJ.)
Spastic: Stiffness and movement disorders. (Yep me again!).
Athetoid: Involuntary and uncontrolled movement.
Mixed: Combo of 2 or more.

Treatment: There is NO cure for CP. An average CP child goes through surgeries, physical therapy, speech therapy and many others I probably can write but I’m trying to write this from my standpointJ).

I went through Speech therapy all through elementary and I think before.  I had 5 surgeries. They were to rotate my femurs and lengthen tendons. At age 18, the Children’s Clinic was discharging me. The doc (I loved him so much. He had polio and came down from N.O.every month to see 100s of handicapped children. He called me Sunshine) said there was this one more surgery but it was elective as it was cosmetic. My mom gave the decision to me. She said they decided on the others but it was my choice. It was a greater risk as well. I had a 50/50 chance of walking like “normal” people or I could end up in the wheelchair.

I hated wheelchairs. I still do when I have to be in one like hospitals etc. It is too confining. Every time I see someone in a wheelchair my heart goes out for them.

So obviously after about 2 weeks of thinking it over I decided to not do it. I analyzed my life to that point and figured I can walk, talk and do what most of what I want to do. Why ask God for more?

People with CP, whether mild or severe are usually intelligent. (I know, questionable on my part HA!). Just because sometimes they may not be able to verbalize does not mean they are hearing everything you say and understand it.

Most can grow up and be productive citizens.  We can conceive, deliver and take care of children.  We are just like anyone else except for some limitations. The limitations are usually not deal breakers, you learn to accept and cope.

I was fortunate to have a mild case and have a family as I did. I know I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for mom and dad pushing through systems!

The few times I said, “I Can’t” Mom said, “There is no such thing as can’t!” I know that is false now because some things you just CAN’T do. But she taught me what she wanted me to learn.

I know there are many CP cases that are severe, time consuming, hard work but one must remember God put every one of us on this earth for a reason and loves each and every one of us.


Monday, November 8, 2010

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
In loving memory of
Fr Bertram Griffin -- 1932-2000
Requiescat in Pace
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Well my dream was scattered somewhat. It was like a mini dream. All I remember is my two adoptive children (Layla's friends), were going to school with me. There was the three of us and 2 dudes...Bailey and Aimee were riding on my back to class. When we got to class, there was a chalkboard with a list of short stories to read. She was handing out papers and it seemed there was something wrong with our papers. I don't remember what except she told Aimee that it was okay and that she could write "them" a note. I woke up...

ANALYSIS: There goes school again.
My creative class was cancelled and rescheduled for March because teacher is having surgery. We could either get a refund or transfer to next session. There is a reason for everything. I have the packet she gave us so I can go through that.
Well in my previous entries I complained about my computers. Brought them to techs etc. Well I got one working on Ethernet. I was so aggravated I wanted it wireless so I can connect my printer and being that I couldn't connect for some reason I couldn't connect to my ITOUCH. But I figured it out. YEA BABY! WOOHOO.
I think on another entry I mentioned Bargain Bee. Every day there is a deal at local restaurants. You buy a voucher for 15 for value of 30, etc. My cousin introduced it to me so I started checking and I bought 3 thus far. Last night, Randal and I used one at Juliens. Depending on what they are going to be I was thinking I could get one as a gift for Christmas. It's not only for restaurants. I saw previous deals on massages, spray tanning, a museum, zip lining etc. If you should go check it out and decide to register (It's Free) I would appreciate it if you use me as a referral by clicking this . I would definitely appreciate it.

It's cold here..Okay you Northerners I know if you would come down here, you'd say I am crazy but I'm COLD. I hate when it gets cold, I'm chilled to the bones during this season.

Don't forget to set your clocks one hour back tonight for those who are on Daylight Savings Time.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Noisy Apartment Living

I hate thinking of a title for my entries because more than likely it'll be about different things.

My creative writing class was cancelled this week. It is Tuesdays and Thursdays for three weeks. The instructor is ill so we will discuss the make-ups when it is in session. I was really learning, only if it was a few classes. She is laid back and easy going. Because it was a continuing education class she does not give tests. She said that her first class she had her students share with the class but she lost two of them so she decided sharing was voluntary thereafter. I actually shared two of my poems I had written.

I live in a 2-story apartment. There are 8 apartments per unit. We are at the bottom because I could just see myself tumbling down the stairs one day. The three years we've lived here we have had no luck in having quiet neighbors upstairs.

The first neighbors were a family of 5. The  kids' ages ranged from 1 to about 7. They were some hellions! My kid was energetic and bouncy but if she would have made as much racket as the hellions did, her butt would be spanked and I never believed in spanking too much.

I have to mention one day I was getting out of the car and the two oldest was outside. There is no playground here so they had to play in the parking lot. Argh! Anyway, one of them had their weenie out and peeing like he was aiming. I told him that was not nice. He laughed. I told him it was not funny but he continued to laugh. I wanted to walk up to him and slap him!

After two years of hell they finally move out. Randal and I celebrated. We thought we could not get anyone as bad as them. WRONG! A Hispanic 20 something couple moves in. I don't know what they would do sometimes but it sounded like they walked back and forth on and on. Randal guessed they were exercising.

Then they would put the loud BOOM BOOM BOOM music on.  The kind that shook the windows. They put it on mostly during the day when Randal wasn't home. I griped but I guess he thought I was overreacting. But one weekend, they put it on at 10 am and it kept going. Does anyone have any idea how stressful that can be? It sounded like the same song over and over. We had to put our TV louder so we could hear it. Well 7 pm came and Randal had enough! Of course, the office was closed so he called the cops.

A friendly cop came and heard it. He went upstairs and told them if the police were called again, they would be given a citation and thereafter, something more  harsh. It finally got quiet except for their noise. It was hilarious when they had sex.

The guy would sing sometimes like he was practicing. I thought he better not quit his day job although we saw him work rarely.

Well, this weekend they moved out! I guess they were tired of us beating the ceiling and yelling to stop their noise when they would be banging something or walking or stomping like fools.

We understand we will hear noise. Floors creak, doors shut, water running and even talking etc. But when they become excessive, it can become stressful.

So the apartment is empty. I am praying that an old quiet couple moves in or just 2 quiet people.

In the meantime, I will enjoy my quiet.

Medieval Dream

Last night was an unusual dream. Not about Layla, being lost or losing my car! Yippee.

We were in the Medieval times and Randal and I were in a large room like a gym. There were 2 large vats of gold we were protecting. There were  an army of large men who looked like Vikings. They wore gold suits of armor. Their weapon was a silver arrow they tried jabbing with. Randal and I would just stand in front of them and yell to get away and fling our arms like a cat fight between two girls LOL.

Finally, they went away and Randal and I were resting. He stood up and went to a rotary telephone and I heard him say he had a sore throat, fever and felt like crap. In my dream I was thinking he must be really sick.

Then the dream shifted to being at my granny's house. There were chickens, roosters all around. Some of the grandchildren were there including Donnie, Monica, Kathy, Francis, Allyson and myself. We were picking figs and pecans. Someone threw a fig at me and splattered on my forehead that started a fig fight..then I woke up.

Analysis: Medieval times, pot of gold etc: I have no idea. I watch History time about the Romans with Randal but we haven't seen any lately.

Maybe the pot of gold was me wishing I had more money than I have LOL.

Randal sick and calling the doctor is certainly a dream. He doesn't believe in going to the doctor for minor illnesses.

I have been putting pictures together to scan and post online. I found some old pics of our last Christmas or one of them when she was alive.

I  miss her, my Aunt Myrna and Aunt Jo.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I had a dream that my ex reeled me back. He kept saying it was good for Layla (around 7 years old then) and we could make it. So I left my boyfriend who's  name was Harry. Harry was tall, brown hair with a curled moustache. As my ex and I were going eat before going to  Layla's tournament. He started telling me he didn't love me, I was a bitch, he hated me, etc. I was shocked and Layla was in the backseat at verge of tears. I told him he could wait when Layla wasn't there. Evidently we went eat but I can't remember where or what. The nightmare switches to us going to this stadium which was a building that looked like a place I have been but can't point out at this moment from the outside. There was a huge parking lot surrounding the building. The inside was huge and shaped like a circle.  So Layla was doing her routines which one that I clearly remember was to take a ball size of a tennis ball, pick it up with her mouth and throw it in a maze to go through the hole. I had made a point to write down where we had parked so we could remember.

Brenda(his wife now) shows up and ex tells me that he is no longer going to be with me. He was moving back with Brenda. I told him he made me to believe that he wanted me back. I broke up with my boyfriend for him and I had really loved him but since ex was my child's father I wanted to try again. He kept loving on Brenda hugging and kissing her. I said, "Fine." I was so hurt and angry I wanted to get out of there. I hugged Layla and told her I''d see her later. So I walked and walked and walked searching for my car but it wasn't there.

I ran into Layla and she said she thought I had gone. I told her I couldn't find the car so she came with me. No car. We get back and ex told Layla it was time to go so go get her things. As she went he asked me why I was still there. I told him I've been looking for my car but its not there. He snickered and said, "Well you better find it i you want to go home." I asked if he moved it. He said maybe. Then I woke up.
Nitpicking: I would never take ex back.  No ifs, and or butts. He never really called me names like that but that feeling was raw as ever.

Harry: Never had a boyfriend named Harry nor anyone who looked like him. I do have a friend's husband name Harry and I consider him as a great friend.
Lost car and Layla being younger is a never ending recurring dream.

The game was similar to the one on Survivor the other day.

Tis My Cajun Life