Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions

1. Redo will and living will.
2. Put car in better condition with purchase of tail light assembly that has been broken for two years and get it installed.
3. Pay off hospital bill I've been having for 1-1/2 years.
4. Don't let ex get the better of me.
5. Call Layla more often.
6. Stay in touch with family (aunts and uncles)more
7. Chat with Jeff more
8. Organize all pics on computers
9. Organize filing
10. Gain weight to get to 100 lbs. (Now at 84.)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Layla surgery/Special Needs Dream

Dream/Layla Surgery

Last night my dream that I remembered took place at my Granny's old house on the Island. Her kitchen backyard window was a huge drive up window. My mom and Aunt Sharon was in the dream but I do not remember their purpose.

We had Special-need kids come by busload. Some had Down's, a few had some other retardation, and some were physically challenged. The buses would stop in front of the window about 20 feet back and they would all RUN to the window making their preferences perfectly clear what they want.

They commanded, “Coke with Ice.” “Coke without ice” “Dr. Pepper” “Dr. Pepper with ice.” “No ice in Dr. Pepper.” Some just wanted water. We didn't have water. Their little faces told 'us' (I just feel there were some other people helping.) what they thought about no water. Some we convinced to try a Dr. Pepper or Coke. Some just weren't swayed.

Between busloads I would go into the living room to watch TV and before I knew it someone (Maybe Mom or Aunt Sharon?) was yelling bus is coming and I had to rush because for some reason we did not want them to wait.

You have to understand to get from the kitchen to the living room, you have to pass through a large dining room and bedroom. Her house was big but it was twice the size in my dream!

Reason I dreamed this: Hmm I've been thinking of Granny a lot and I guess 'reconnecting with my family on that side” is triggering things. Special-needs kids: Although I hate admitting it, I was a special needs child for my mom and it was so rough for her with society as it was in 1960s and the ADA wasn't around then. Also I was looking at a Christmas postcard of my long time cyber friend who has a special needs child explaining to My Love who they were. Maybe its telling me to get off my butt and join the advocacy for disability rights.

For those who don't know yet. Layla is having surgery tomorrow, Thursday on her shoulder. She has had shoulder problems for a couple of years and had surgery on it once before last year. The doc said 9 out of 10 patients do not need to have the surgery again. Layla is unfortunately that one that does. She will need to deal with her possible limitations concerning karate and her athleticism. Please pray for her recovery and her coping. Unfortunately, she didn't win in the stubbornness department with parents concerned because her father and I are both stubborn. I learned long time ago, do what you can and take it day by day.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Car Problems

I have a hard enough time writing a post much less a title creatively. I hate making up a title because that means I have to make the post on what the title says. Misc, My Life, etc just isn't good enough. I feel like I want to ramble on and on but the title Ramble just don't bring in readers.

Anyway, since my title is Car Problems I better get to my post.

My car is 10 years old and to be honest it has not given me too much trouble. My car has been making little squeaks and stuff but then all of a sudden, when I accelerated or decelerated it seemed like I had to press the pedal all the way to the metal and I felt this major rubbing.  My RPM needle would not go more than 2. When I idled it felt like it was going to die. So I decided I better go check this out before it gets alot worse. (I had no idea how bad it would REALLY be.)

So on that fateful Wednesday, after lunch with my cousin, she followed me to the mechanic shop my SO (Significant other) had used before that was reasonable not to mention close to where we live.

We arrive at the mechanic shop and the first thing I noticed was a gust of smoky air hitting me in the face. I hate smoking! I have never smoked and never had the inclination to do so. And then I still have lung disease. It's a persons perogative to smoke their lives but I shouldn't have to deal with it.

 There was this obese 50ish scruffy looking man sitting in a chair shuffling through papers on his messy desk. There was a cat sleeping on the computer screen.

He looked at me and asked what he could do for me. I told him I had a 2000 Saturn SL1 to be checked. I described my problem. He reaches for an invoice and asks with his wheezing gasping voice what kind of car. I thought ,didn’t I just say that? I repeated myself and he proceeded to write my problem. After, he said, "Okay, we'll check it out and call you." This was 2 pm in the afternoon.

The next morning I had not heard from the man. I called to inquire the status of my car. He said it was the mount. I asked what does that have to do with my car almost stalling and RPM's going wacko and when it idles it feels like it is going to die? He said oh, you said it made noises. I said yes but I also said the other stuff. He pauses and says he'll have his guy drive it and call me. I asked if it was one of those things I HAVE to change. He said yes, he'll call me back. So I waited and waited.

My Love stopped on his way home and the man said he was waiting for the mount. He thought I had talked to him so didn't inquire any more.

So I called the man and said I didn't understand what was going on. He said he had to order the mount. I told him a) I didn't say to fix it and b) he never called with an estimate. He said he couldn't give me an estimate until he got the part because he doesn't know the price. Now, that is the first time I've ever gone to a mechanic to tell me I couldn't get an estimate. Has anyone? This was way off the wall to me.

There was a long pause because I was counting to 10. It seemd he had an afterthought and said, "I'll call you as soon as you the part comes in from Chevrolet. If you decide you don't want it done, I'll just send the part back."

I waited all day and no return call as he said he would when he received the mount. I called the place at 3 pm and told the man who I was and wondering what was going on with my car. I heard shuffling of papers and heavy breathing.  He finally said, “It’s your tires.”

I had to think because then I was confused.

I responded, “What? You said mount!”

I could hardly understand what he was saying. You know how you get that feeling when you talk to someone and they are not listening?


I exclaimed, “HELLO?”

He repeated, “It’s your tires!”

I said, “You said mount yesterday and I just changed my tires a few weeks ago.”

He mumbled something about tires rubbing against steel.

I asked “Where that came from?”

He said irritably, “Come see and I’ll show you.”

I responded, “I am coming to see as soon as my boyfriend returns home!’

Nothing. He had hung up.

My lovely significant other came home and we drove there. When we arrived there were 3 mechanics in the office and the a—hole. He just pointed at one of the mechanics and the mechanic gestured to follow him and said, “It was the mount and tire struts’.

We followed him to the back to my car. He showed us the mount was cracked. Okay, they might have been right. Then he said the struts on the front needed to be changed and my tires are getting worn fast. They were touching my car’s tire (I actually had the thought, they are molesting my car! I know strange mind I have LOL). I did not understand or see what they were talking about. But Randal did and I trust HIM.

The mechanic was a young nice patient  20ish, if that, man who answered our questions. My SO asked the question, “Why didn’t ya’ll drive the car first? (That's what mechanics should do right????"}

The mechanic answered “I do what I am told.” I understood that.

SO and the mechanic conversed for a few minutes. The mechanic informed us he could uninstall and install the mount in 20 minutes. I told him I needed to find out the price first. He highly recommended the front struts to be replaced. SO agreed. “SIGH”

We returned to the front and the manager (whoever he was) who had been somewhat rude throughout the two days and pointed us to the mechanic when we first got there was sitting there. When I asked the amount of installing the mount he said $158 with labor. The invoice was on the desk facing the man and leaned forward to read what it said.  It said parts were 75 something. He moved it before I could read it all LOL

SO questioned politely why they didn't drive my car in the first place and reminded them they had my car for two days with no progress. The manager looked at me pointing with exasperation and breathily accused, “She only said it was making noise”

I know for a fact that I did not tell him that was my main problem. I told him that I did not know how to describe it but when I accelerated or decelerated I have this major kick back rubbing feeling and my RPMs were erratic between 0 and 2 when I was idle.

I retorted, “I told you when I accelerated and put my break it FEELS rubbing.

He said with a high tone, “No you didn't. You were vague."

Instinctively I got defensive and still calmly said , "Yes I did, I have a witness."

He shakes his head adamantly and raises his hand like “shut up.” (Excuse me, I'm your fucking customer!)

My SO (Bless Him) continued to talk calmly,” We just want to understand why ya’ll never communicated with us unless we called and the problem kepts changing. You had the car for two days and ya'll didn't even drive it until the next day.”

This man just flipped out! He huffily and puffily exclaimed, “I don’t like to be attacked. I can’t help it if she was vague. I do not know what to tell you.  ” He said some other things neither I nor SO could understand.

This man was just downright abrasive. Words went back and forth between SO and him. SO stayed calm the whole time and this man was going ballistic! I was stunned because SO usually avoids confrontation.

I finally had enough and asked man how much I owed him for their work thus far. He shakes his head aggressively like he wanted us out of there and replied, “NOTHING”.

I said, "Fine, you have a great day and told SO “let’s go.” We went into the garage and the mechanic was evidently waiting for the word to do it. I asked him if my car was ready to go. He reported, “Yes ma'am. I thanked him and left.

SO said the a--hole was a little "flighty" when he went a couple of times before for his car but the man was never abrasive like today. SO, the kind and patient man he is just had  ignored it. He said although the ‘manager’ was sort of rude, there were excellent mechanics.

I am not like that, if I am paying someone to do a service and the worker is rude to me or totally disregards me, I am finished with them.

A friend suggested someone else here a little farther down the road so I called there, he said he was busy then but I could go in the morning as he is opened from 9 to 1.

We arrived at 9 am at the new Mechanic's. I liked this man right off. He was very nice and understanding. He actually drove my car to see if he could see what I was saying. He says the mount could be replaced but that is not to worry about at this time since I don't drive long distances alot, He said I need to change my front end struts and wheel bearings. They have to take alot out so he couldn't show us the bearing but he showed us a sample. I understand most of what he said.  He said I could just do the bearings but struts should be done also. He gave me a price. "SIGH". $535!  He said I didn't necessarily have to do it now but he said its going to wear down my tires and I'll have to continue buying tires. He said this is normal from wear and tear. I did pretty good through the years without repairig.

Ironically, he used to work for the other place I went to and the asshole there is his best friend. We had to laugh at that. He explained to us why the asshole is like he is. I don't think its an excuse to be rude and not do his job.

I brought my car the first thing Monday morning. They changed the front tend struts and wheel bearings. My car runs much smoothly now. He gave me a discount since I paid cash.

The first mechanic lost out on business with me and I will never refer anyone to them.

However, it sounds like something is going to fall out or something. I am not bothering with it until after Christmas. I'm broke anyway...LOL.

Merry Christmas to all

Friday, December 17, 2010

Act of Kindness=Christmas

If you remember, a while back I had my laptops in repair shop and one came back and never worked here. Well I got the other computer working on ethernet then Randal and I FINALLY figured out the wireless. It is an okay computer but very old.

Well I was sitting here brooding over my current problems, how much money I had to spend on my car (Problem still there, not as pronounced but seems like another problem has risen but not worrying about it until after Christmas as I don't drive that often anyway) and teeth and future financial strain on treatment of teeth (Another post I'm working on LOL).  So all is quiet and I'm in my thoughts then my phone rings. I see the number and the place I brought my computers for service. I thought what they want with me.

So I answered and he announced who he was.
He asked, "How are you today?"
I respond. "Fine and you."
He says, "Well the reason I'm calling you is I have this computer like your older computer but it is newer but used. I have it pristine condition."
I thought, "Uh huh..can't afford it."
He continues, " Kathy and I have decided to give it to you for a Christmas gift."
The pessimistic person I can be, inquired, "How much?"
He exclaims, "Nothing! Its a gift to you for Christmas."
It HIT me! I started crying.
He asked, "Are you okay."
I sobbed took a deeep breath and said, "Wait this is too overwhelming. I was having bad week and I'm comprehending it. "
Silence while I get  my breath.
I finally say, "Thank you so much."
He said, "Your welcome. We close today at noon but you can call next week and pick it up."
I cry some more.
I say: You have no idea what that means to me calling me at this point."
He said, "I'm glad. See you next week. Merry Christmas."

No one has ever done that sorta of thing fo me besides family. For him to even think of me and give it to me just swells my heart and my tear ducts open. That heavy feeling in my chest lightened with that one act of kindness and thoughtfulness.

My heart was  pounding and I was blubbering for joy. Randal is at work and I put it on facebook but I just had to tell someone so I called Layla. Sorry I interrupted your bath, Layla!

At first she thought something was wrong.

She asked with concern in her voice, "What's wrong Mom?' I could hardly talk I was crying so much.

Then like I tell her when she is upset, she says, "Mom take a deep breath." I finally get it together and tell her. She said, "Yes, there are kind people in the world."

Yes there is. my other problems are still here but that act of kindness right at that moment has lifted my spirits. The computer I need yes but what touched my heart was that they thought of little me.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Grandpa's hands

I received this from a friend.

Grandpa's Hands
Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.   He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands.  When I sat down
beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.

He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.  "Yes, I'm fine, thank
you for asking" he said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandpa, but you were just sitting here
staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK."  I explained to him.

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked.  I mean really looked at
your hands? I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.  I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.  No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.

Grandpa smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have
served you well throughout your years.  These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.  They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend 's foot.  They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.  They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.  They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.  And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.  These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.  But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.  And with my hands, He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ

I will never look at my hands the same again.  But I remember God reached
out and took my grandpa's hands and led him home.  When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife I think of grandpa.  I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.  I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel his hands upon my face. When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying
for one another ...

Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend will bless you both.
Passing this on to one not considered a friend is something Christ would do.

Make it a great day!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Piece of My Life

I feel so much better today. I had trouble sleeping last night. However, the last two hours of my sleep was a dream.  

Layla and Hannah were about 6 years old. Hannah’s mom and I were at this big house stirring something chocolate syrupy. I don’t recognize the house but it was on Main Street in The Berry. We were waiting to bring our girls to some kind of event at school. 

Layla and Hannah yelled they were going walk. Hannah’s mom said, “Okay.”

I asked, “Where to?”

They never answered and just left.   After a while I started getting worried and went find them. I found them, don’t remember where but I was royally irked. I pulled both of them in the car Hannah’s mom was driving. We got to NISH and there were cars entering and exit. Somehow we realize it was the wrong place. So we left and found the right place which looked like NISH again. In my dream none of us realized the buildings were the same. However, we were relieved.  

That’s all I remember LOL.  

Analysis; It seemed like I was going in circles. 

I had lunch at Picante with Kathy. Our waiter was strange. He was polite but looked high or something.

Kathy asked for the bill after our huge meal giving him the voucher. He returned and said we owed $4 and change. I gave him my debit card when he returned with my card and receipt to sign it had 1.38. That was a change from $4 to $1 don’t you think? So I gave him a tip to equal to what he said the first time.  

As we were moving to leave a girl yelled to turn something around. Kathy and I had no idea what she was talking about so we just left.  

She followed me to the mechanic. The first step I walked in the door I smelled smoke. There was this man sitting in a chair. There was a cat sleeping on the computer screen He asked me what he could do for me. I told him I had a 2000 Saturn SL1 to be checked. I described my problem. He reaches for an invoice and asks me what kind of car. Didn’t I just say that? He was wheezing big time. I thought he was going to fall over any time.  

Kathy and I came to my apartment and we chatted until she left. Twenty minutes later,

Randal walked in with a bag of stuff he bought at discount. He reminded me of Santa. He is not as heavy as Santa but with the packages, he just reminded me of Santa.

He is MY Santa Claus

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hustle and bustle

The last three days has been hustle and bustle. Sunday my family came for my dad’s 73rd celebration. I was curious to see who would show up. Surprisingly, my brother in law TB, my sister, MB, her pregnant daughter, BB (If I haven’t said it yet, I am going to be a GREAT AUNT of a boy due April Fool’s day!), my mom, dad and then the three of us, RQ, LG and me My “throw me out of his birthday party rude” nephew AB, and his girlfriend BC and pregnant BB's boyfriend., SC.

My sister and brother in law were hung over after partying with everyone I mentioned except “us” and my parents the previous evening.  BB said her boyfriend were sleeping as he was hung over and getting ready to go offshore (Reasonable excuse). MB said they went to AB’s apartment to pick up their truck as BB was the only one who didn’t drink so drove her to her parents’ home because they were too intoxicated to drive.  MB said they rang the doorbell and not a peep, AB and SC must have been passed out.

But it was a great day. Everyone was calm and talked civilly. My sister brought the birthday cake and it was a Devil Dog cake or something like that. I cooked red beans, rice, sausage and coleslaw. Simple meal but good meal.

Everyone left at about 2:30 and we watched the end of the Saints game. Damn they sucked but won! A win is a win but they struggled.

Then yesterday, Monday after My Love got off work we drove to the mall. We knew which entrance to enter to get to customer service so we parked near there. We strolled in and out a few stores. First, we strolled into Journey, I bought my daughter some lip rings or whatever you call them as she pierced her lip a few weeks ago. (Arghhhh) We also strolled into
Sports Avenue
because they had LSU, UL and Saints products. We didn’t buy anything there. We made it to Customer Service and bought our gift cards. Then we saw GameStop. We can’t pass a GameStop! Didn’t buy anything there either but saw some interesting Wii games. I just subscribed to Game Fly and we test them out before we buy them or just send them back.

We made it back to our car and drove to Best Buy. We wandered around there. The Kinect didn’t work with us but it worked for the guy before us so go figure. We don’t have X-Box anyway. HA!

Then we went to a place that sells Wine and similar items. The guy looked like a guy that was married to one of my best friends. Thankfully, it wasn’t him. They had so many different kinds of wine and the prices. I think I’ll stick with Boone’s Farm and Arbor Mist thank you very much, unless someone buys me some. I like the white wine more than the red.

After that we picked up some fried chicken from Church’s friend chicken. When I lived in the Berry, the Church’s fried chicken was awful and at the wrong end of town. But where I live now is awesome and they have coupons. We got an 8 piece of legs and thighs, mashed taters, coleslaw and 4 biscuits for 10 bucks.

We are finished Christmas shopping although I want to buy my daughter some copying paper since I am giving her a printer.

Today, Tuesday, I woke up at 6:30 and miserably cold. I hate this cold weather and getting up so early sucks. So I start my car and hear this roaring sound and my RPM dial went to 2. I’m like HOLY COW. All the way to the Berry when I lift off my gas it feels like its going to stall and when I put the brake on it does the same thing. I hate car repairs. I hate being without my car while being repaired.

Anyway, I made it to the doctor’s office. I gained 5 lbs (YEA ME!)  Making to the 100 lbs slowly, presently at 89. I know! I’m sorry for those of you are struggling with their weight.LOL). I love my family doctor. I can talk about anything with him. I make him laugh so there! They drew a vial of blood to check my thyroid as I am hypothyroid. That is one condition that just came out of the blue sky. But it certainly explains my tiredness etc. (Gotta have some kind of excuse right?)

So after I paid my $16.16 (Medicare is weird in that way.) I went to my pregnant niece’s shop and got my hair cut. It needed it so badly. After I made my way to Legnon’s Butcher and got some crawfish and regular boudin. I get in my car and realize I hadn’t reminded him of my FLU shot.

I know some of you don’t believe in the FLU shot. Yes, you can still get the flu but with my immune system and respiratory disease I realize it is the best for me. Before I started taking the flu shot I would catch the flu and it would either turn into pneumonia or I would be sick as a dog 14 days and it would take me just as long to get back to “MY NORM.”

Anyway, I called Dr. Hankenhof’s office back and the receptionist said they had no more flu shots. She suggested Walgreens. I refuse to step into Walgreen’s. So I called CVS as I go there and remembered seeing a sign. They said it was $30 bucks and they tried running it through with Medicare and it refused it.  But what else was I going to do? So I mad an appointment at 3 pm.

I drove towards the highway to be on my way home. Right when I was getting ready to get on the Interstate I thought of my pulmonologist (Same building, different floor of my family doctor. They all know me very well as my family doctor’s staff, I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not), It was almost 10 am. The receptionist told me 11:45 am. I thought DAMN! I wanted to be home before noon. I asked if I could go then, I could be there in 10 minutes. After putting me on hold she said YES! So I went back to where my initial stop was and got my flu shot. I had to wait about 15 minutes but hey! What can I say? I didn’t have to pay anything as Medicare covers it (My earned money I put in when I was working). A big difference from 30 bucks to nothing eh?

I could give you stories of stupid drivers on the road but won’t go there. But perfect reason why I hate to drive anymore. I do it but don’t mean I have to like it HA!

After stopping for gas and the mail, I made it home at 12:15.  My Love and I had boudin and he had soup also. You know that nasty Ramen noodle ½ salt soup? I called CVS to cancel my appointment. She asked why? I told her I got it without costing me 30 dollars. She said, “OH.” I called our mechanic and he said I can drop my car off any time tomorrow so I wrote to my cousin who I’m having lunch with asking if she would come up with me after lunch to drop my car off and bring me home and she said yes. If not, I would have made it somehow. Thanks CUZ.

I all of a sudden got drowsy and the soreness of my arm started. I don’t know why the flu shot does that to me. This time my whole right side hurts from my head to my arm. I think it is coincidence. But anyway, I went to bed and slept soundly for 2 hours.

Okay here’s my dream. I’ve been dreaming for the past 3 days and I remember them and tell Randal but we both forget. Yes I have a pad and pen at my bedside but I don’t think of that “BOP MYSELF IN THE HEAD OWWW”.

In my dream it started out that I was in a house ex and I rented on Weeks Street when we first got together. The kitchen had a big screen TV showing this black dude talking on what looked like a talk show and he was laughing and said he had the hots for Oprah. I thought (in my dream) eww that is wrong! I had just had my flu shot in my dream and was feeling pretty much the same way before I fell asleep. I went to my bed which the living room was the bedroom (Am I confusing any of you yet) on this hug bed and fell asleep.

My dream suddenly switched to serving myself red beans and rice and thinking the red beans was too dry and didn’t have enough gravy.

I can’t remember the rest.


Weeks St. House and the rooms different—No idea. It was our first decent place we rented before we were married. Haven’t thought of that place in ages.
FLU shot: Obvious I just got a flu shot.
Red beans obvious-had some Sunday but it had enough gravy so go figure.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays! Please do not drive after drinking, while texting or on cell phone. Have fun and be safe.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Overcoming Fear

I read a blog about this person's fear and she asked is it possible to overcome fear.  I think it depends on the fear. If you can control the fear it is easier to overcome, I believe.

Lets say you are fear of heights. I think if you can make yourself confront it by riding in a plane or climb up a tower, that fear can be overcome.

However, if you are afraid of animals, it can be harder because if one keeps meeting up with that certain animals. at inopportune times, I can see how they can't overcome it.

I fear snakes. They are just slimy and ewww. Years back a coach of my wheelchair (FYI I am not in a wheelchair, I just had to use one.)soccer team had a python.  I held it but that fear just didn't go away.

My kid used to love clowns but all of a sudden she is terrified of them and I have no idea why. She can't explain it.

One night my senior year my friend and I went to Western Sizzler to eat a steak. I got a  piece of steak stuck in my throat. I was choking but it wasn't blocking my airway.  I did the worse thing I could do and  ran into the bathroom gagging and coughing trying to vomit. My friend became hysterical and started yelling for help.

A good Samaritan happened to be eating and he came into the bathroom and did the Heimlich Maneuver several times and it didn't come out. 911 was called. When the ambulance came, they said it wasn't blocking my airway that's why the Heimlich  Maneuver didn't work.

They rushed me to the hospital and they suction it until it went down. They were trying to suction it up but it was that low that it just went down. I had a sore throat for a few days. I did not want to eat a steak again.

After a few months, my parents realized I wasn't going to the Sizzler again. They encouraged me to go back and I was too afraid it would happen again.

So one day they told me we were going eat out but they wouldn't tell me where. When we drove up to the Sizzler, I became scared.

I told them I didn't want to choke again and be embarrassed. They said, "We're going in and you are going to eat a steak. It is the only way to face your fear." When my parents told me to do something, I did because I knew the repercussions if I didn't.

Needless to say, I ate the steak without choking and I wasn't afraid eating a steak again.

I know my story is simpler than others. I think every fear it is justified.  To face the fear is that person's choice. If they don't face it, it doesn't mean anything negative  about them. It is just what it is. Fear

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

CockRoach Stand-Off

I am sure all of you had a version of a stand off with a cockroach.

Here’s my latest. We don’t have many where I live, thankfully.

 It’s not the easiest thing to get in and out of a bathtub for me. I can’t raise my leg up like most of you and without a handrail on the tub itself it’s a hit or miss as I brace myself with a hand on the wall or toilet to step into the tub so I do have to pay attention. (Luckily for me after 48 years I've figured it out for it to work 99.9% of the time. YEA ME!)

There were those times I was too tired or just not thinking and not paying attention. I don’t have enough fingers to count the times I fell somehow, and hit my head on the toilet or tub. I’ve slid right down onto my butt. I’ve pulled muscles in my arms, back and legs scrambling to catch something to stay upright as I go down. Never broke anything though! God is with me!

You get the picture, I hope.

The other night I undressed to take a shower. I know for a fact I looked down into the bathtub and all was clear. I stepped into the tub.  I put on the hot water, let it run then I turned on the cold water. All was good. After the water temperature was my preferred setting I grabbed my handheld showerhead and started showering.

After a few minutes I looked down and saw something brown move swiftly under my foot. I have an arch where some of my foot doesn’t touch the ground. I lift my leg slightly up and there’s this brown cockroach!

I yelp and swiftly jumped back just as the cockroach went the same direction. I hurriedly skipped  the opposite way and it turned my way and a yelp escaped me again. I thought, “Oh yea! I’m gonna get your little ass!” and directed the shower head streaming with water directly at it.

I could see it trying to swim but I kept the shower head on it so it couldn’t get its footing. My position was a little weird for me so for a millisecond I moved the shower head away as I repositioned.

Cockroach got its footing and went towards the back corner and I thought, “Oh, no you don’t!” I berated our bathroom layout thinking why isn’t the toilet paper around so I can grab it and squish it or even a shoe? Of course, I never thought of a can of shaving cream or bottle of shampoo that was right in from me. That was just too easy.

So I whispered, “You are going drown!” with a fleeting thought roaches actually like water.

But with determination, I positioned my shower head on the roach again and thought, “DIE! DIE! DISGUSTING! EWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWWW!” Shivers.

A memory came to me fleetingly when one day my daughter and I lived in our apartment 20 miles away. She was in the bathroom and just started screaming. One of those screams that a parent hears and thinks there is something dreadfully wrong.  But when I ran into the bathroom she was standing on the toilet still screaming pointing at a roach. I can’t remember where it was. But she did not stop screaming until the roach was dead.

My child would climb chairs and stand on anything she can find if she saw a roach but she wasn’t afraid of snakes. Go figure.

Anyway as I was dousing the roach with a fast flowing water stream I vowed I would not be hysterical like her and my mission became critical.

I started moving the water like a blower to move leaves. I had to skip twice (Praying, DON’T FALL) to get opposite of him but finally…I got it to go down the drain.


I finish my shower scanning the drain periodically.

When I walked  into the living room fresh and clean, I ask MY LOVE if he did not hear me yelp. He said, “Yea, but I didn’t hear you again so I figured you were okay.”

I thought,” I am glad I wasn’t seriously hurt.” But then thought, “It’s your own fault, Ms. Independent. How many times have you made noise and he comes running and you tell him, gee, don’t worry about me so much, I hardly hurt myself.” “SIGH”

Guess the roach went visit someone else because he has not been seen since.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Wood Chopping, Pregnant BFF, Kid skips school and what's for dinner-Dream

In my dream last night I was in my home I lived in when I was married. It seemed bigger and the window and porch was on the side of the trailer instead of the back. Instead of a neighborhood there was only land all around with a barbed-wire fence.

My daughter, dad and I were discussing where I wanted to go eat. I kept telling dad wherever.

In the meantime, a Sam Elliot kind of guy with darker hair and an unknown buddy knocked on my door. When I answered it, he asked if any of us wanted a job. I excitedly accepted. I got in my car (Don’t know what kind, it just seemed larger), drove to the backyard and rolled down my window. They would give me a slat of wood and I would saw it with a little saw. I felt accomplished.

Scene changed with my BFF, JM visiting with a newborn baby. I kept saying, “Awww look how cute, can I hold it?” She handed me the baby. This scene happened repetitively for a while.

Scene changed back to Dad and me continuing our conversation about what I wanted to eat. I told him whatever but was thinking steak. He kept giving options but I kept saying whatever.

Layla comes in the room and I asked her what the hell she was doing home, she was supposed to be at school. She was about 8 or 9 and I remember that short set she wore at Gulf Shores. She blatantly admitted she skipped school. I couldn’t believe what she had just blurted. I thought for a minute and asked her if she skipped school the day before and she shrugged and said, “Yea.” I yelled at her that she was punished!

I woke up.

Analysis: Sam Elliot: We watched November Christmas last night. Randal asked if I wanted to watch it. I told him yea but I’d probably cry and that I did.

Chopping wood: Maybe because of the Christmas trees in the movie.

BFF having a baby: LMAO. I’m sure she would like that NOT. Maybe because my niece is pregnant? Or I was looking at pics on FB yesterday.

Dad and I talking about what to eat—No idea. Maybe because I am planning Dad’s birthday lunch Sunday.

Layla skipping school—Hmm don’t know but she was young again. Maybe I secretly wished she would be younger. I wonder if she skipped school. Layla, are you willing to respond? J

Sunday, November 28, 2010

No Excuse for Rudeness..especially in Family!

Last month I went to my sister's to celebrate her son,my godchild's birthday. He made 30 years old. My whole family was there except my daughter (LG)but she was coming after work and my SO was working as well. We live 20 minutes from my sister's (MB) house. That day the New Orleans Saints game was on.

When I got there the birthday man (AB), my brother in law (TB) and neice's boyfriend (SC) was in front of the TV watching it barely acknowledging us. When we ate the 3 just sat in front of the TV yelling and watching football while the rest of us was at the table.

Remember, we took the time to buy a card, drove our 20 miles  and make our day available for (AB).

At half-time, (AB) and (TB) comes yelling, "C'mon, its half time, lets do the cake." So we hurriedly gave him the cards and we ate cake.

Right before the game ended, my mom and dad left. However, they had seen LG two days before and they did their duty for (AB). My daughter called me and told me she got off work early and was on her way. Everyone knew she was coming a little later.

The game ended and I was so ready to leave but I was waiting for my daughter so I could see her and we had to give each other stuff. Well out of the blue AB, SC, my  neice (BB) and AB's girlfriend (BC) started talking about going to Wallyworld to look for Christmas decorations. One of them ask when? AB says, "Let's go now." I kept repeating, "LG is coming" to deaf ears. LG  had just called to tell me she was on her way.

Well AB says, "Lets go now." I thought, "Is he really going to leave like this?" AB, SC,BC and BB start getting their stuff. It was such confusion and  I was so upset, it was like everyone talking was blending into each other.

I realized they were actually going to leave. So I called my daughter stating they were getting ready to leave.

She said, "I'm on my way."
I responded, "I know. Sorry."

I felt disappointed, hurt, frustrated and anger.

I could tell by her voice she was disappointed. "I bought him a card and decorated it."
I suggested, "Throw it away or mail it to him."
She responded, "But I have all kinds of faces on it and stuff." Then she adds, "Well since I am on my way, I am going to just visit with Nanny." (My sister, MB)

Well in the meantime AB is rushing everyone to go. AB has always been loud and can't keep still. It is like he is hyper.

My daughter calls me back saying that she changed her mind and she turned around and is going home. We made arrangements to meet at a later date.

So I got off the phone and told MB I was leaving. She asked me to wait because she was going to fix  some for my SO (Significant other for those who don't know) to bring back.

AB looks outside and says, "Nanny, you have to move your car. You are behind the car we are using"

I asked, "You can't go around me?"

MB yelled, "Just hold on."

AB totally ignores MB and tells me "No, you are behind me."

I said, "Take my keys and move my car then."

MB is saying, "Just calm down and wait a few minutes."

AB answers, "There is no where to put your car." Which was true except for the grass and it was wet.

MB finishes fixing the plate and I had other stuff to bring out the car so MB and BC walks out helping me. After we got the stuff in my car I hugged BC and MB.

MB whispered, "I am so sorry."

I responded, "I do not hold you responsible and you don't owe me an apology."

Do you know while I was saying bye, the other 3 had already sat in the car waiting for me to back out?

When I started on the road, AB was tailgating me.

As I drove home, I ran everything in my head and I became quite upset. When I entered the door my SO asked me what happened? I just cried and told him everything.

AB has done hurtful things to me in the past and once I told him how I felt but he never responded.

I meditated, prayed, talked to a friend and read my bible for an answer for a few days.

I came to the resolution that even if I said something it wouldn't matter. He is selfish and inconsiderate. MB and I never discussed it because my issue is not with my sister.

I am planning my dad's birthday next Sunday to be here. The game is at noon. I called mom today and we started talking.

I told her what happened after they left on AB's birthday. She told me that MB apologized for the rudeness to her when they met up at yoga. My mom told her they were all adults, yes, they were rude but the apology from her is not necessary.

As we talked she told me by my saying he is hyper is making an excuse. She said there is absolutely no reason for rudeness. I agree. She was not happy with the situation that day without knowing what happened.

I told her I had been thinking alot of what to do and I have decided in order not to be in that situation again, I am contemplating in not going to AB's birthday. He doesn't appreciate it and obviously doesn't care.

As w were talking that hurt came back and I started crying. I thought I was over it. I get so frustrated with my sensitive side.

My mom said that she went to retreat last weekend and talked to the priest. The priest said when someone hurts you, you will always be leery with that person because you have the knowledge that they have the capability of hurting you again. It is normal. The hurt will lessened in time but from time to time, it will resurface. The important thing is how you deal with it.

I told mom I will write or call my sister and tell her its at noon and to remind them to record the game like I will be doing because the game will not be on here. If they think the game is so important they don't have to come and I feel adamant about that.

Mom had an afterthought and asked what time will Layla be available. She said they were free all that day so if we want it at 4-5 that is fine. So I need to call her and make sure she is off that day and if not I will make it for when its convenient for her.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Taco Dream

I guess I should have themed this journal as Dream Blog LOL.

My dream last night was..well as usual, weird. My mom, dad and I were what seemed like Mexico or somewhere like that. We were going to some kind of meeting. Our hotel was huge with the lobby being like a huge bank. We all needed to shower. We got to the room and Mom went first.

She was taking so long that my dad said, "Lets go."
I asked, "Where?"
He responded, "We're going find another shower."
I'm thinking, "Okay. This is totally weird."

We get in the car and it was like a 30 minute ride to another hotel. All I remember was seeing pastures as we rode. I kept thinking, "We don't have any clothes to change into."

So I mentioned to daddy that we had no clothes. He said, "It'll be alright."

We finally arrive to another hotel that looked like a castle. There was a gang of kids (Mexican and white) hanging around. My dad told me to watch the car while he goes in to see if he can find a shower for us.

I lean against the car with my arms folded and this one kid from the gang walks up to the car. He was a white, chubby bullish 9 year old kid. He proceeds to the car and opens the door.

I walked up to him and pushed him and told him, "Get away from the car."

He walks to the other side and sticks his head into the window. I, again, walk to him and push him and told him, "Didn't you hear me? Get away from the car!"

He runs to the other side and grabs something out of the car. I chase him yelling at him to give it back. A lanky Mexican from the group runs after the boy and grabs the item and gives it back to me.

The bully never said a word.

At that moment my dad comes out and announces he found a shower. So we walk into the hotel and dad informs me that we are looking for rooms 5 and 7. It seemed like we were walking for miles. We finally find them and dad orders me to go into 7 and shower. I tell him, once again, "I don't have any clothes to change into." He says, "Put the ones you have on and when we get back to the hotel, you can change." The thought of taking a shower and putting back on panties I had before grossed me out. So I exclaimed, "Ewwww." He left me standing there.

I walk into the door and there's this one huge shower with 40 or so shower heads. It was like an old time bathhouse. There was a few people in there. I thought, "I am not getting naked in front of these people". Once one shower head went on, ALL the shower heads went on so it was like a torrential rain coming down.

My clothes was soaked so I thought well just take your clothes off dummy. So I did and opened the door and threw them out of the door by a bag thinking they would dry. There were no towel racks. It was just one big room with showers.

When I went back out to get my clothes.The bag and clothes were gone! So I'm like "F-- what do I do now?" I somehow get a towel and wrapped myself with it and went searching for my dad. He appears clothed the same way. I told him, "See I told you we shouldn't have taken our clothes off." So he commands, "Lets go find the receptionist."

We start walking and there were vendors down the hall. I was checking them out as we walked by. THEN I saw this man with a HUGE Taco. This taco was humongous with all the fixings. I yelled at dad, "Look at this taco." He kept walking and said, "NO." I stopped and said, "Dad just look at this humongous taco!" He said, "You can't have tacos." I said, "DAMMIT, I didn't ask you for one, I just wanted you to look at it."He kept walking so I ran to catch up with him. I was royally pissed because he didn't want to see the taco. I wished I had a camera to take a picture of it.

We get to the receptionist and dad told her that someone picked up our clothes. She was snooty and said, "The maid probably picked them up." Dad asked, "Where do I find the maid" She said,  "You can't".

Scene changes and we whiz back to our original hotel. There was this huge pool in between the parking lot and rooms so dad informed me that I had to swim to the other side.

I felt defeated by then and jumped in the pool and swam to the other side.

Scene changes and we are walking into the room with Mom just getting out of the bathroom.

"Where the hell have y'all been?" She asked with impatience. Dad told her that we had to go to another hotel since she was taking so long. She exclaimed, "Yea, right!" Dad became frustrated and said if she wouldn't have taken so long he wouldn't have had to spend 50 bucks an hour for a shower.

I woke up...

Analysis: Who in the hell knows but guess what we are eating today? Yep! TACOS! LOL

Thanksgiving/Weird Dream

Thanksgiving, weird dream
I meant to copy/paste this from my LJ yesterday but got distracted so here it is from yesterday.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, since my daughter was going to Houma to be with her friend, I decided that she and I go eat somewheres. We invited my friend/cousin to come along. Layla picked Olive Garden

If you love chocolate, you HAVE to try the Triple Chocolate Stratta. That piece of cake is one of the best chocolate cakes I've eaten. Of course the entrees were delicious as usual.

We went to my Love's brother's home and had the traditional turkey dinner (lunch). It was delicious. His mom makes this pecan pie that is out of this world. I never cared for pecan pie until I ate hers.

After lunch which was also delicious, we watched Eat, Pray and Love. It was an okay movie. I rather the book. Then we watched the edge of the seats Saints vs. Cowboys game. The Saints never fail to keep their fans on the edge of their seats. But they came through! WHO DAT?!!

We came home and I read for a bit. I am reading P.S. I Love You. I cried the first chapter but I'm better now that I'm 3/4 through LOL. I went to bed with a headache and woke up with one. It was weird morning/night.

I remember waking up with Randal on top of me (No, NOT THATT). He was telling me bye before he left for work. I remember his warm body on mine holding me while I was  thinking I need to wake up to hug him too and tell him I loved him  but just couldn't. He evidentally left me and I went back to sleep. (This did happen for in case you wonder after reading about my dream LOL) Then I woke up at 6:30 because nature was calling then I thought, "Crap, I'm so tired. Why am I so tired?, crawled back under the covers grabbing Randal's side as well and drifted off to sleep.

I keep dreaming weird dreams. In this dream I was living in a house. The outside looked like my Granny's  old house on the island  and inside was my childhood best friend's MJ's home, also on the island. It was chaotic. My mom kept telling me to "Come on! Lets get out of here!" I thought, "I can't. I can't do it.". There was a mixture of scenes as I looked out the window. One area was two men shooting at each other with pistols. Another area was some army tanks coming through. Then yet another area there were ambulances with sirens andl lights. Nearby was a calm park with kids laughing and playing on the swings.

My mom kept telling me something (I don't remember) and i kept saying "This is a dream. Get me out of this dream". I was crying and it seemed like everything was happening over and over. I felt this terror in my dream like something was going wrong. Then in my dream I woke up and told mom it was a dream. She said, "No, its not!" and then.... I REALLY WOKE UP.

Do I really want to analyze this dream? NAHH..Its still reeling in my head.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving ALL!

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I  am thankful for all of you.

I am thankful to God for giving me my daughter who I am extremely proud of and love with all my heart.

I am  thankful to have a wonderful domestic partner who returns my love unconditionally and is always there for me. He is really a special man.

I am thankful for my parents and sister. They've seen me through a lot and always there for me. They are my heroes.

I am thankful for reconnecting and getting closer to my cousin Kathy these past few months.

I am thankful for my all of my online friends including  Jeff and Phyllis (kindred spirit).

I am thankful for good health this year.

I am thankful for having a roof over my head, enough money to pay my bills and food on the table.

I am also thankful for those people who came into my life throughout the years who were judgemental, evil or harassed m. They only taught me to be stronger and learn I didn't want to be that kind of person..

I am even thankful for my stormy relationship I had with my ex as that situation taught me what I don't need made me realize what I really want among other things.

Last but not least, I am thankful for God in my life.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Granny Dream

 Last night was all about Granny. It was like watching a montage of her. She was walking slowly in the big house she lived in. Then she was sitting in her corner sucking chicken bones with her dogs around her, one was Ginger.. What were her other dogs names anyone remember? Another scene was she was with us grocery shopping. She was in her rocker watching a soap opera. One scene was I was in a bed and she wanted to spoon feed me LOL.  She walked outside putting her clothes on her clothesline.

It was sorta de ja vu. A coloring book was somewheres in there and a fig tree.

There was a scene  I was at the graveyard and she was sitting on the side of me. I woke up and cried because I remember that  day I went to the church and I learned they locked a church. I always thought a church was always opened at least during the day. I was in a pure panic mode  that day so I searched for her grave, found it and fell on her plot and sobbed telling her spirit all my problems and that Whoosh of peace and resolution came to me. She told me in her own way  what to do.

To this day I still say she saved me. I went to therapy and got my self esteem and confidence back.

Damn that was such a dark time for me I never want to get to again.

This analysis is easy, with the  holidays coming and people talking about their loved ones who have gone to haven. However, it strikes me weird that all the scenes did happen.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Couch Sassion Dream

sAmazingly, my dream had nothing do with my lost car, Layla or being lost, kind of.

One of my BFF, Bee and I were cruising the streets when her car sputtered. The car was one of those pimped up big cars. It gave the aura of being out of gas.

I laughed and told Bee that Romnie would siphon gas for us. Evidently, it was a private joke between the 3 of us.

Romnie was another BFF of mine. He was a talented artist but never did anything with it from the best of my knowledge. I always thought it was a wasted talent. He hung around girls most of the time.  He worked at Shoe Department. It seems after graduation, he disappeared. When I lived in The Berry, I would meet up with his mom every once in a blue moon. She is a doll! I’d ask about Romnie. The last time I saw her, she said he had a stroke and was being taken care of by aides in New Orleans. I was totally bummd out.  I miss and love OUR ROMNIE!

Anyway, back to the dream. So I disclosed wondering what happened to him. Bee informed me that he was living in tow. I immediately declared that we should go see him.
She said he lived on Co chon Road. So we go down the road and she told me it would be on my side. So I excitedly called out the names of the street as we pass by. Finally, a bigger than normal street sign with
whizzed by. I yelled, “That’s it.” Bee exclaimed we would have to go around again. We went around the block about 4 times before we finally reached the street. I told her that it was near my house. Bee countered that my house was on the other side. I shrugged like I know where I live LOL.

When she turned, the beginning of the street was SLUM VALLEY. I exclaimed sadly, “Oh Bee!” She said, “Just wait, it gets better.” She was right, after a few miles the Slum Valley turned into a long winding road of homes, She finally turns onto a limestone driveway where a dilapidated mobile home was perched right smack in the middle of two mansions. 

Romnie was outside dressed in coveralls (I don’t think I ever saw Romnie in coveralls.) bending under the hood of a clunker truck.  Before Bee could turn the ignition off I jumped out t he car, running and screaming, “ROMNIE! ROMNIE!”

He pokes out his head looking curiously. He walks slowly towards me and realized it was me. He asked, “Lisa? What the hell?”  I go to hug him but he had oil all over his hands so he hugged m with his elbows. I was so excited I babbled asking him how he had been, how excited I was to see him etc.

He again, asked what I was doing there. I told him about the gas situation and he said he needed a beak and invited us to go inside with him. We walk in the trailer and I immediately saw how the outside was such a disguise. It was huge and beautiful inside.
This pregnant girl comes in and Romnie introduces her as Dorie. Awkwardness instantly transpired. However, I was just so thrilled to see Romnie. I saw that Dorie was pregnant, about 6 months along.

I stated the obvious, “you are pregnant!” She gazed at me like if her eyes could kill, she would. Romnie confirmed she was.

I exclaimed, “You are going to be a daddy. There is going to be a mini Romnie!” Dorie looked at Romnie. Romnie looked at Bee. Bee looked at Dorie. There was such tension in the air but I was just so excited to see Romnie.

We talked but I can’t remember any of it.

Then Bee stood up and said we would be leaving. Romnie walked us outside and we hugged again….Then I woke up.

ANALYSIS: I don’t know. I’ve been seeing Bee ‘liking’ my statuses and photos.”  COUCH SASSION for Co chon is kind of hilarious. Don’t know any Dories, or one I can remember. It had something to do with a car but at least it wasn’t mine LOL.

I wonder what Romnie is doing. It would be totally awesome if we could get together again one day.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Same Theme Dream

When I finally fell asleep last night, I must have dreamed all night. I'm dead tired today.

I was working at the nursing home I used to work  at but they only wanted to give me 4 hours. I didn't even want to work that many. I noticed the staff had different uniforms. The aides had a grey and baby blue pantsuit. The nurses had black uniforms. My former, coworker Gloria, came bouncing in saying, "Look who has finally came to work."  I looked at her and asked where she had been. Never got an answer.

My former Director of Nursing(DON) strolled in and said she didn't know I was coming in. I told her I could leave. She said that she wanted Layla, my daughter and college student to work the midnight shift. I told her I would not allow that.

Then the dream shifted to the DON saying there was going to be a state audit. I shrugged and asked what that has to do with me. She said if I wanted vacation I needed to talk to Ms. Boner. Yes folks, B-O-N-E-R. I thought that was a  really weird name.       

Layla came and told me that my car needed repairs. I went to the mechanic and he told me I had to changed the gas cap. I asked how much it was going to cost me and he said, "We can negotiate." I said, "Negotiate, my azz.".

ANALYSIS: Your guess is as good as mine. Theme is consistent: Working, Layla and car. What is with that?

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Writing Down Dreams

It seems this blog has taken off to the Dream theme. So here I am.

Monday, I remember dreaming. However, I can't remember what it was. I remember thinking, 'Remember this dream'. Turned over and went back to sleep. I woke up and there you have it, I couldn't remember the dream.

I put a pad and pencil on my bedside for Tuesday. I remember dreaming and waking up. I repeated the dream in my head several times and thought I really should write this down. I was so tired and said to myself, 'Nah, I'll remember this one." Again, I forgot.

Last night, I dreamed. I couldn't remember one and the one I remember is all scattered. Of course, alot of my dreams are scattered. But anyway...

In my dream last night (or to be technical, this morning) I was in this house and I could look out the window and see houses that were being built in another place. Place as in different country or state. These homes had lights all around them and I was amazed how I could see them building the homes from so far away.

Then Layla came into the picture and told me that she was going to buy me a house and take care of me. I told her that she didn't have to, I was fine. She kept telling me she needed to. She said she would take care of me then go to school. I told her that didn't make sense. She had to go to school, make a career for herself and then, if I need, she can help me but until school is finished, she was not to worry about me.

Dream switched to being at my friend's house, JoAnn. We were exchanging gifts and she had given me a software program that was 20 years old but a masterpiece. The box said

The last segment was I was in a barren room on my bed. I had my earplugs in my ears but could hear someone honking their car horn. After a few minutes I went to the door and there was my friend Bee and her sister, Sheri. Once they saw me, Bee got out of the car and said, "Hey, I have to go to work in about 1/2 hour and was wondering if I can come every morning." I looked at her confused but said, "Sure".

I feel I am missing some pieces of my dreams but what can I do if I can't remember them? LOL.

ANALYSIS:  Bee: Well I have been looking at pics and getting FB messages from her. I did look at some pics on Sheri's FB.

Layla: I don't know what that is all about. There would be a definitely NO-NO for Layla to take care of me instead of going to school.  Her schooling is of utmost importance to me. House: Randal and I have talked some about building homes recently.

JoAnn and Software: I have no earthly idea.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Cerebral Palsy

I just thought I'd explain it for some of you who don't know what Cerebral Palsy (CP) is I’ve met so many people with misconceptions. The first they think is POLIO. I

I'll start telling you what it is not: 

1. It is not terminal.
2. It is not progressive.
3. It is not hereditary.
4. It is not a disease.

CP is caused my injury or abnormalities to the brain due to lack of oxygen or other factors such as infection. When I was growing up, experts stated that was the cause. However, I’ve noticed they change slightly and now they say only a minority of child cases with CP are caused by lack of oxygen. Go figure. 

Some known causes of CP:
1. Infections during pregnancy. (That is why prenatal care is a necessity)
2. A lack of oxygen reaching the fetus (There’s that lack of oxygen LOL).
3. Premature birth (Lungs are not developed so oxygen is not going to brain as it should.)
4. Birth asphyxia (Lack of oxygen again! Is there a pattern here?)
5. Blood disease or severe jaundice.
6. Acquired

(In my case, I had pneumonia and quit breathing at age of 6 months at a hospital. When my mom pressed the button and no one came, she grabbed me from the oxygen tent and started running down the hall. Fortunately, my pediatrician was walking to the room and got me going again LOL)

It affects movement mostly but it also can affect hearing, seeing and thinking. (See! my excuses were legit as far as thinking goes LOL).

Common symptoms are spasticity, dysarthria and unsteady balance or movement. (My mom said after the incident with the hospital she started noticing little things like my feet turned in and I couldn’t walk when I should have been.). Mental retardation, seizures and paralysis may accompany CP.

There are 4 main types of CP. Ataxia, Athetoid, spastic and mixed.
Ataxia: Disturbed sense of balance and perception. (That’s where my weeble wobble don’t fall down, most of the time comes fromJ.)
Spastic: Stiffness and movement disorders. (Yep me again!).
Athetoid: Involuntary and uncontrolled movement.
Mixed: Combo of 2 or more.

Treatment: There is NO cure for CP. An average CP child goes through surgeries, physical therapy, speech therapy and many others I probably can write but I’m trying to write this from my standpointJ).

I went through Speech therapy all through elementary and I think before.  I had 5 surgeries. They were to rotate my femurs and lengthen tendons. At age 18, the Children’s Clinic was discharging me. The doc (I loved him so much. He had polio and came down from N.O.every month to see 100s of handicapped children. He called me Sunshine) said there was this one more surgery but it was elective as it was cosmetic. My mom gave the decision to me. She said they decided on the others but it was my choice. It was a greater risk as well. I had a 50/50 chance of walking like “normal” people or I could end up in the wheelchair.

I hated wheelchairs. I still do when I have to be in one like hospitals etc. It is too confining. Every time I see someone in a wheelchair my heart goes out for them.

So obviously after about 2 weeks of thinking it over I decided to not do it. I analyzed my life to that point and figured I can walk, talk and do what most of what I want to do. Why ask God for more?

People with CP, whether mild or severe are usually intelligent. (I know, questionable on my part HA!). Just because sometimes they may not be able to verbalize does not mean they are hearing everything you say and understand it.

Most can grow up and be productive citizens.  We can conceive, deliver and take care of children.  We are just like anyone else except for some limitations. The limitations are usually not deal breakers, you learn to accept and cope.

I was fortunate to have a mild case and have a family as I did. I know I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for mom and dad pushing through systems!

The few times I said, “I Can’t” Mom said, “There is no such thing as can’t!” I know that is false now because some things you just CAN’T do. But she taught me what she wanted me to learn.

I know there are many CP cases that are severe, time consuming, hard work but one must remember God put every one of us on this earth for a reason and loves each and every one of us.


Monday, November 8, 2010

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
In loving memory of
Fr Bertram Griffin -- 1932-2000
Requiescat in Pace
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Well my dream was scattered somewhat. It was like a mini dream. All I remember is my two adoptive children (Layla's friends), were going to school with me. There was the three of us and 2 dudes...Bailey and Aimee were riding on my back to class. When we got to class, there was a chalkboard with a list of short stories to read. She was handing out papers and it seemed there was something wrong with our papers. I don't remember what except she told Aimee that it was okay and that she could write "them" a note. I woke up...

ANALYSIS: There goes school again.
My creative class was cancelled and rescheduled for March because teacher is having surgery. We could either get a refund or transfer to next session. There is a reason for everything. I have the packet she gave us so I can go through that.
Well in my previous entries I complained about my computers. Brought them to techs etc. Well I got one working on Ethernet. I was so aggravated I wanted it wireless so I can connect my printer and being that I couldn't connect for some reason I couldn't connect to my ITOUCH. But I figured it out. YEA BABY! WOOHOO.
I think on another entry I mentioned Bargain Bee. Every day there is a deal at local restaurants. You buy a voucher for 15 for value of 30, etc. My cousin introduced it to me so I started checking and I bought 3 thus far. Last night, Randal and I used one at Juliens. Depending on what they are going to be I was thinking I could get one as a gift for Christmas. It's not only for restaurants. I saw previous deals on massages, spray tanning, a museum, zip lining etc. If you should go check it out and decide to register (It's Free) I would appreciate it if you use me as a referral by clicking this . I would definitely appreciate it.

It's cold here..Okay you Northerners I know if you would come down here, you'd say I am crazy but I'm COLD. I hate when it gets cold, I'm chilled to the bones during this season.

Don't forget to set your clocks one hour back tonight for those who are on Daylight Savings Time.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Noisy Apartment Living

I hate thinking of a title for my entries because more than likely it'll be about different things.

My creative writing class was cancelled this week. It is Tuesdays and Thursdays for three weeks. The instructor is ill so we will discuss the make-ups when it is in session. I was really learning, only if it was a few classes. She is laid back and easy going. Because it was a continuing education class she does not give tests. She said that her first class she had her students share with the class but she lost two of them so she decided sharing was voluntary thereafter. I actually shared two of my poems I had written.

I live in a 2-story apartment. There are 8 apartments per unit. We are at the bottom because I could just see myself tumbling down the stairs one day. The three years we've lived here we have had no luck in having quiet neighbors upstairs.

The first neighbors were a family of 5. The  kids' ages ranged from 1 to about 7. They were some hellions! My kid was energetic and bouncy but if she would have made as much racket as the hellions did, her butt would be spanked and I never believed in spanking too much.

I have to mention one day I was getting out of the car and the two oldest was outside. There is no playground here so they had to play in the parking lot. Argh! Anyway, one of them had their weenie out and peeing like he was aiming. I told him that was not nice. He laughed. I told him it was not funny but he continued to laugh. I wanted to walk up to him and slap him!

After two years of hell they finally move out. Randal and I celebrated. We thought we could not get anyone as bad as them. WRONG! A Hispanic 20 something couple moves in. I don't know what they would do sometimes but it sounded like they walked back and forth on and on. Randal guessed they were exercising.

Then they would put the loud BOOM BOOM BOOM music on.  The kind that shook the windows. They put it on mostly during the day when Randal wasn't home. I griped but I guess he thought I was overreacting. But one weekend, they put it on at 10 am and it kept going. Does anyone have any idea how stressful that can be? It sounded like the same song over and over. We had to put our TV louder so we could hear it. Well 7 pm came and Randal had enough! Of course, the office was closed so he called the cops.

A friendly cop came and heard it. He went upstairs and told them if the police were called again, they would be given a citation and thereafter, something more  harsh. It finally got quiet except for their noise. It was hilarious when they had sex.

The guy would sing sometimes like he was practicing. I thought he better not quit his day job although we saw him work rarely.

Well, this weekend they moved out! I guess they were tired of us beating the ceiling and yelling to stop their noise when they would be banging something or walking or stomping like fools.

We understand we will hear noise. Floors creak, doors shut, water running and even talking etc. But when they become excessive, it can become stressful.

So the apartment is empty. I am praying that an old quiet couple moves in or just 2 quiet people.

In the meantime, I will enjoy my quiet.

Medieval Dream

Last night was an unusual dream. Not about Layla, being lost or losing my car! Yippee.

We were in the Medieval times and Randal and I were in a large room like a gym. There were 2 large vats of gold we were protecting. There were  an army of large men who looked like Vikings. They wore gold suits of armor. Their weapon was a silver arrow they tried jabbing with. Randal and I would just stand in front of them and yell to get away and fling our arms like a cat fight between two girls LOL.

Finally, they went away and Randal and I were resting. He stood up and went to a rotary telephone and I heard him say he had a sore throat, fever and felt like crap. In my dream I was thinking he must be really sick.

Then the dream shifted to being at my granny's house. There were chickens, roosters all around. Some of the grandchildren were there including Donnie, Monica, Kathy, Francis, Allyson and myself. We were picking figs and pecans. Someone threw a fig at me and splattered on my forehead that started a fig fight..then I woke up.

Analysis: Medieval times, pot of gold etc: I have no idea. I watch History time about the Romans with Randal but we haven't seen any lately.

Maybe the pot of gold was me wishing I had more money than I have LOL.

Randal sick and calling the doctor is certainly a dream. He doesn't believe in going to the doctor for minor illnesses.

I have been putting pictures together to scan and post online. I found some old pics of our last Christmas or one of them when she was alive.

I  miss her, my Aunt Myrna and Aunt Jo.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I had a dream that my ex reeled me back. He kept saying it was good for Layla (around 7 years old then) and we could make it. So I left my boyfriend who's  name was Harry. Harry was tall, brown hair with a curled moustache. As my ex and I were going eat before going to  Layla's tournament. He started telling me he didn't love me, I was a bitch, he hated me, etc. I was shocked and Layla was in the backseat at verge of tears. I told him he could wait when Layla wasn't there. Evidently we went eat but I can't remember where or what. The nightmare switches to us going to this stadium which was a building that looked like a place I have been but can't point out at this moment from the outside. There was a huge parking lot surrounding the building. The inside was huge and shaped like a circle.  So Layla was doing her routines which one that I clearly remember was to take a ball size of a tennis ball, pick it up with her mouth and throw it in a maze to go through the hole. I had made a point to write down where we had parked so we could remember.

Brenda(his wife now) shows up and ex tells me that he is no longer going to be with me. He was moving back with Brenda. I told him he made me to believe that he wanted me back. I broke up with my boyfriend for him and I had really loved him but since ex was my child's father I wanted to try again. He kept loving on Brenda hugging and kissing her. I said, "Fine." I was so hurt and angry I wanted to get out of there. I hugged Layla and told her I''d see her later. So I walked and walked and walked searching for my car but it wasn't there.

I ran into Layla and she said she thought I had gone. I told her I couldn't find the car so she came with me. No car. We get back and ex told Layla it was time to go so go get her things. As she went he asked me why I was still there. I told him I've been looking for my car but its not there. He snickered and said, "Well you better find it i you want to go home." I asked if he moved it. He said maybe. Then I woke up.
Nitpicking: I would never take ex back.  No ifs, and or butts. He never really called me names like that but that feeling was raw as ever.

Harry: Never had a boyfriend named Harry nor anyone who looked like him. I do have a friend's husband name Harry and I consider him as a great friend.
Lost car and Layla being younger is a never ending recurring dream.

The game was similar to the one on Survivor the other day.

Tis My Cajun Life

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dreams of Discipline and Sand in a Clock

This morning my dream was another off the wall dreams.

There were my sister, Mel, Randal, Layla, Cale, my niece's ex-boyfriend and myself.

Cale was on the telephone. We were all trying to have a turn in the bathroom. There were two bathrooms. So I was telling them the order that we should go in one bathroom. Why didn't we go to both bathrooms, I have no idea. Layla was about six and was whiny. In the meantime I was trying to fix an alarm clock. Cale had told me to put some sand in it.So I had taken it apart and as I was placing the sand in the back of the clock. At one time while doing so I lifting my hand and spaghetti noodles dropped it and there was glue stuck. So I grabbed some water to wash my hands and accidentally poured it into the clock.

During that time, Cale called me and said, "Tell Layla if she doesn't behave to tell her if she does not behave, I am going to talk to her." Layla became really upset and cried.


Clock-My alarm clock evidently bit the dust because it keeps turning 2 hours ahead of the actual time. It is about 30 years old. Then I have a wall clock my best friend gave me when my ex and I moved into our new house which was 18 years ago also has been useless because it's lost time. I put in new batteries and it does the same thing.

Sand: Have no clue.

Cale talking to Layla: I have no idea. We haven't seen Cale in ages. He's never talked stern to any of us.

Dropping Water: I am always dropping something.

Line up for the bathroom: Again, I have no idea. Maybe because I had to use the restroom??

I woke up sleepy. I definitely did not get enough sleep.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I've always had weird dreams. I try to understand them because they are suppose to have some meaning.  I started documenting what  I remember on my LJ. So I figured I'll write them here too. Who knows? Maybe someone can give me an explanation of the meaning of them that I can agree with. I've read several books and articles giving the meaning of dreams but I either can't find my theme of my dream or if I do find something, I feel it does not pertain to me.

 The themes of my dreams usually stay constant. It's either, I lost my car, I can't find my daughter, Layla, Layla is always younger or I am at school or college and I miss the class.

When my ex and I were separated I always dreamed of him taking Layla or coming after me trying to kill me. Those dreams were understanding because he and I had a bad marriage for the last 10 years (We were married for 24). He had a temper and mentally abused us. He threatened he would win Layla during custody battle, which he didn't.

My dreams are sometimes jumbled or like a slide show without any ending. One dream stops abruptly and the other starts.

Last night I dreamed that I walked 15 miles (Anyone who knows me there would be no way I could walk 15 miles) and met up with my friend, Bee. It was getting ready to rain so she told me to get in her car. She had to do some errands and we ended up what seemed like a auto parts shop. Another friend, Bonnie was there. Bee and Bonnie were talking and then Bee and I left. Bee asked if I wanted her to drive me home. I told her I didn't want her to go out o her way. Then I said wait let me see where Layla is. So I called Layla, she would answer but we would get disconnected. Finally, we stayed connected until we were finished. I asked where she was and I said on the other side of Lewis Street. She asked me what I was doing there. I told her I was walking. I told her to come get me. Bee  interrupted and said she would bring me home..that dream ended and then another one began.

The next dream was that I was sick and going to the doctor. Layla was driving and I was giving her directions. When we got to a certain point, everything changed. It was like more buildings and more streets. We kept meeting dead ends. So I got in the car and went the opposite direction and we finally found it. But it was 15 minutes after closing time and my doctor had left. Layla started demanding workers to find me a doctor. My regular doctor's partner shows up and asks what's wrong.  I started telling him and then the dream ended and blended into the next dream.

  The whole team was missing perfectly thrown balls. The announcer was a tall dude standing by our dugout. He looked familiar but I can't place him. Anyway, he had the headset on and calling the plays and giving statistics. However, there were was no paper or computer screens anywhere for him to read from. I thought, "Wow, he is just saying these statistics and information out of his head." I also saw tacos in that dream but I don't remember exactly what it was about.I finally woke up.

I wake up tired and Randal, my domestic partner who I adore, says no wonder I'm tired, I am always walking or running. He says I need to dream of something calm like the beach. Yea, right..I only wish.

This IS My Life!